Jessi's Reviews > Reading People: How Seeing the World through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything

This was definitely a fun book. It stays pretty near the surface of things, but it gives a great review of the basics and gives you the language to dig deeper.

It also shook me up in my Enneagramming. I have only recently been interested in the Enneagram and I had thought I found my profile based on the description of the type of person. I read Seven's description and could relate. But reading Reading People introduced me to the idea that Enneagram is not just a profile, like MBTI (which this ENFP loves), but is more about finding your core needs, biggest fears, or motivations. I am getting a sick feeling in my stomach even writing that. Do you want to know why? SEVEN'S CORE NEEDS ARE TO AVOID PAIN AND SADNESS.

Before Reading People, I felt like I was tricked into digging into the Enneagram by just reading some fun things about me. I could relate to this, for instance, from some random website: "Outgoing and spontaneous, you love anything that is new, novel or unusual. You are fascinated by people, places and ideas. Upbeat, positive and optimistic, you naturally cheer up and inspire others. Quick to laugh and make a joke, you easily entertain people. You are also easily entertained..."
That felt MBTI to me. That felt true. That felt happy.

But when I read in Reading People that Enneagram is "based not on external traits but underlying motivations," and that the Enneagram "shows how we're inclined to go off the rails in specific, predictable ways," I froze. WHAT??? I don't want to talk about that.

I already felt like Seven was right, so I thought I better see what Seven's fears are to see if that matches up. But I was (and am!) nervous just thinking about that! I was afraid to look at what my fears might be. It was hilarious (and made perfect sense) when I read that Sevens don't really want to acknowledge pain, fears, and sadnesses. I literally never thought this about myself in my whole life. I never even wondered if I was trying to avoid pain. But Sevens are in flight from pain! Enneagram wants me to acknowledge pain! I don't even want to acknowledge that I don't want to acknowledge pain!

I think it might help other people knowing this about me, too, if I ever annoyingly seem like nothing fazes me. (I don't THINK I seem this way, but just in case. My kids know what fazes me. And none of this means I am a syrupy sweet person. I just might appear like things are OK most of the time. ) More things would faze me if I let them, I guess, but I am too afraid to be fazed for long! Maybe things are OK most of the time, because I can't afford for them not to be! I look for the bright side not because I am this bright person, but because I am afraid what living too long in the dark would feel like. That concept literally terrifies me--that there could be a dark I might live in--and a few days ago I didn't even know this about myself. Maybe I'm afraid to do anything but find the silver lining! I don't feel especially optimistic, but thinking about it now, I might be. I'm guessing that even things that could crush my hopes, don't. I probably just instinctively temper my hopes.

I do believe that belief in God and belief that God is sovereign is a true help to a Seven. I both believe it is true, and depend on it being true, that God is in control and if something is meant to be, it will be. This is not a crutch, because it is the way the world actually works. But I see how I must depend on this truth often.

(Apparently oversharing is not one of my fears.)