No. 1 of the Secret Service

Director Lindsay Shonteff has been responsible for some of the worst abortions in British cinema history, as anyone who has seen his indescribable 'Big Zapper' will testify. He had already tried to spoof the Bond genre in the mid-sixties, but his cheapjack product hadn't cut it against 'Thunderball'.

With Roger Moore firmly established as the 'new' Bond in 'The Spy Who Loved Me', Shonteff obviously decided to try again. Casting ex-Witchfinder General Star Nicky Henson as a rather tepid Secret Agent was the closest he came to a good idea: he spoofs the Moore Bond very well, and forces the question as to whether he may have been a more satisfactory Simon Templar in 'Return of the Saint'.

In a nod to 'The Ipcress File', Sue Lloyd pops up (though not out) and says a few lines. Also present are 'Spy Who Loved Me' actors Geoffrey Keen and Milton Reid: their presence hardly enlivens the film, but at least they are familiar faces.

On that subject, 2 interesting British horror film starlets can be seen: 'Theatre of Death' actress Jenny Till and Hammer queen Katya Wyeth. Both have since disappeared.

Cheap explosions, lousy dialogue and not very special effects all wear the viewer down, but the diverting script, amusing playing and superbly corny music keep the interest (if not the British End) up.