Sharkenstein

The remaining Polonia brother knocks it out of the park and delivers some of the most frightening shark attack scenes ever committed to film.

The special effects are really something to behold, never has your child's toy shark you tried to stitch back together after the dog got a hold of it looked so menacing. The writing is still as sharp as ever, with intelligent, witty banter on par with the great Quentin Tarantino delivered with astonishing conviction by lovable characters you will certainly not forget instantly once the movie's over.

The villain of the movie, a Nazi carrying on the inhumane experiments of his forefathers, is acted using the tried and true formula:

Replacing "W" with "V" every once in a while = German accent

The man exudes so much pure, unadulterated evil that I dare anyone not to get cold sweats whenever he appears on screen.

Even with all this said, I assure you, nothing will prepare you for the film's third act, a harrowing dive into complete insanity.

All I can really say after experiencing this movie is thank you, Mark Polonia. Thank you for making movies, thank you for being alive, thank you for sharing this masterpiece with the world. It seems like only yesterday he put Jurassic Park in its place with his classic Saurians. Now with Sharkenstein, he's rendered another critically-acclaimed piece of celluloid completely obsolete. Sorry Jaws.