Baldwin's directorial debut is a great turd of a movie. The plot, such as one exists, concerns two hitmen brothers, played by director/producer Baldwin and McQueen, as they try to intercept Madsen, who has enrolled in the witness protection program. The script is supposed to be comedic, but the unfunny, poorly timed dialogue thuds painfully. With minimal assistance from the film's cast or director, the plot limps haltingly forward, occasionally stopping entirely as Baldwin dwells lovingly on the brothers' excursion into a strip club (predictable gratuitous tit/ass/soft-core lesbian sex shots), their roadside digression with two young women who improbably do not hesitate to leap into Baldwin and McQueen's car (in incredibly poor taste, this scene features the women performing syncopated fellatio on Baldwin and McQueen, like a teeter-totter), and their lengthy and repetitive musings on the merits of breasts versus bottom and the `reason' why women are lesbians. Unsurprisingly, with the exception of Baldwin and McQueen's stereotyped Italian mother, the women in the cast all feature big hair, large breasts and miniskirts (Baldwin displays his particular fondness for waitress uniforms -- one can only imagine the casting couch). Disappointingly, Madsen's early promise of talent appears to have fizzled out entirely with this movie. This movie is not a train wreck. Rather, this 'train' never made it onto the tracks. Miss this one.
