Very Bad Dads

Dusty Mayron: So the King raised his mighty sword and rained steel down upon the Step King.

Brad Whitaker: But the Step King blocked it with his shield. And swung his cat o'nine tails into the King's smug face.

Dusty Mayron: Which the King easily brushed aside like the feather of a gull. And then the King did counter with a barrage of slashes and thrusts so fast and precise the Step King had no way to party.

Megan, Dylan: Yay!

Dusty Mayron: But he did. He did. He parried all of them. Easily. It was no big deal.

Megan, Dylan: Aww.

Brad Whitaker: Then he grabbed the King's sword right out of his hand and smashed it over his knee.

Megan, Dylan: Boo!

Dusty Mayron: That's when the King pulled out a pump-action Mossberg shotgun!

Brad Whitaker: Which is completely anachronistic. So if we're gonna be doing any time period, then the Step King just happened to be wearing Kevlar body armor.

Dusty Mayron: Concussion grenade!

Brad Whitaker: Hand grenade.

Dusty Mayron: Rocket launcher.

Brad Whitaker: Missile launcher.

Dusty Mayron: Air strike.

Brad Whitaker: Nuclear strike.

Dusty Mayron: Black hole.

Brad Whitaker: God.