Surf Nazis Must Die

Folks, eat your heart out. I know Rand Hogen, who plays Teeth. His death-scream still resonates throughout Hollywood — and Bollywood, for that matter — as the model scream for all on-screen dust-biting. As for Rand himself, I know that from his incomparable acting you'd expect him to be a glitzy, world-traveling, supercilious snob, but he's actually quite a nice guy. (Thought the same can't be said about his brother, Rory, who, while no actor himself, fancies himself God's gift to the unevolved.) The rumor through the grapevine is that two rainmaking produces in Hollywood are bruiting about a project called Surf Nazis Are Fixin' to Die II, but it hasn't got enough funding yet. It seems to be a prequel filmed in the South on the Gulf of Mexico. I think they need to raise about $200. I sure hope that Rand gets the opportunity to reprise his role as Teeth, though by now he'll probably go by the sobriquet Dentures, which more befits a superannuated man. An Oscar awaits him, no doubt. Or at least a Reynaldo.