The Texas Frightmare Massacre is an ingenious mixture of slasher horror, fart & wiener joke comedy set to the backdrop of a genuine and popular horror convention (the MOST popular, I'd venture to say) in the United States. While one story of TFM concerns two idiot friends (director Joe Francis and Chad Pallett) becoming security guards and training for their first gig doing security at the infamous convention, the main story has nerdy guy Allen Reed heading out to TFM with his rude step sister (the incredibly nude and hot Melanie Smith) and her boyfriend Dave Ayers. The couple, Reed's hero Parrish Randall (playing a hilarious version of himself), and others take Reed to a Carrie-esquire breaking point that has him donning a head horse mask and going on a killing spree throughout the hotel. As the bodies pile up, security loafs Francis and Pallett wonder about aimlessly. Writer/Director Joe Francis has two sure-win elements to this film: 1.) the incorporation of an actual convention in progress just melts my horror loving heart to a happy goo, and 2.) the presence of consistently naked Melanie Smith, whose seriously naked a lot...and getting boned a lot...and seriously looking hot as hell....seriously. I had the great opportunity of meeting some of these folks, all of whom are nice as hell and who really understand what it's like to be a horror nerd. Texas Frightmare Massacre may look like a bad internet video to the untrained eye and about 90% of the mass moronic movie-going audience, but the folks behind this threw caution to the wind and made a small movie that would appeal to a very small group of hardcore fans. The end result...I loved it! Rarely do I ever mutter these blasphemous words, but I hope there's a sequel.
