Sheriff: Okay, now explain to me one more time how the rental car caught fire and exploded.
Oscar Madison: He called me a shithead and punched the car, it went rolling down a cliff.
Sheriff: Why did you punch the car?
Felix Ungar: Because the shithead threw the directions out the window and left my suitcase at the rental car agency.
Sheriff: Why did you throw the directions out the window?
Oscar Madison: Because they caught fire from my cigar ashes and were burning on my crotch!
Felix Ungar: The first time he's been hot down there for years.
Oscar Madison: I just wanted you to know what it felt like down there...
Sheriff: OK, boys, settle down. You two don't get along too well, do you?
Oscar Madison: Oh, that's not true. There was a period of 17 years that was wonderful. Then unfortunately we saw each other again.
Sheriff: And who did you say was getting married?
Felix Ungar: My daughter and his son.
[the Sheriff and all the deputies have to swallow a laugh]
