Criando um Top Model

This one's got it all -- silly premise, idealized show business plot line, cliche-ridden script, pseudo-Bacharach score, hunks in their underwear, limp-wristed stereotype homosexuals, and -- perhaps best of all -- Joan Collins.

The first time you see it, you may not be able to revel fully in its tackiness. I suggest three or four viewings, especially when you're feeling sick or vulnerable, for it to have its full effect.

Orchids, orchids!