Let it be known I am not a quitter, but I'll be damned if Andy Milligan's cinematic swan song didn't want to battle me to the death. Full admission: I actually enjoy Milligan's 1980s output like Carnage, Monstrosity and The Weirdo. Something about his "style" then really captures the era. So foolish me went into the gloriously titled Surgikill thinking I was going to get Milligan's take on the hospital-set slasher subgenre. Nope! Turns out this is his attempt to do a zany (emphasis on the Zzzz) Police Academy style spoof set in a hospital. Woe is me. I tried to get through this twice before and couldn't make it past the first ten minutes. How bad is it? The first five minutes feature two scenes where people get bed pans dumped on them. You won't find many (any?) laughs in this story about Dr. Grace Goode (Bouvier, not sure if she had earned a one name moniker) trying to save her hospital from a debt collector. The comedic highlight is a building argument between Dr. Goode and Dr. Fine the ends with the following exchange:
Dr. Fine: "Well, that's just fine, Dr. Goode!"
Dr. Goode: "Good, Dr. Fine."
As the theme song says, "Tell me where it hurts." If you thought horror wasn't Milligan's strong suit, watch this.
