User reviews

After the mob hits a guy with a list, one of the hoods (Richard Towers) keeps the list for himself to blackmail the people on it. When the mobsters find out he is a double-crosser, they off him, which angers his busty girlfriend (Chesty Morgan). She goes after them using the only two weapons she has.

Now, you have Richard Towers ("Last House of the Left") and you have Harry Reems ("Deep Throat"). And Reems has one of the greatest mustaches I have ever seen... so this alone should sell you. But then you have Chesty Morgan. She cannot act, she cannot talk (all her lines are dubbed), and her "talent" is more of a freak show than anything you would actually choose to see... which is perfect for a film released by Something Weird.

As others have said, this is the very definition of a "cult" film. It is certainly not good in any traditional sense, but it has a very odd quality about it that might be enjoyable if you are into strange films. That is all this can be called -- a strange film. It is not sexy, it is not well-written, the directing is adequate but nothing more. Acting is poor. It is just weird.

****SPOILERS**** A story of murder and revenge staring the busty Chesty Morgan as stripper Crystal Zsa Zsa who's unusual psychical attributes make it difficult for her stand up or walk straight without tipping over. It's when Crystal's gangster boyfriend Larry, Richard Towers, is interrupted while saying sweet nothings into her ear vis the telephone that he's gunned down by two of his colleagues Tony Barler, Harry "The Reemer" Reems, and Captian Hook, Mitchell Fredericks. The trouble for them is that they forgot to put the phone back on the hook where they, with Crystal listening in, ended up not only incriminating but identifying themselves in Larry's killers!

Determined to make them pay for what they did Crystal plans to do the two creeps in with her deadly arsenal of double barreled Winchesters 73's that she plans to use on them. Getting a job as a stripper in a Las Vagas casino Crystal in promising Captain Hook, one of her biggest admirers, a good time get's him good and stoned in her hotel room as she ends up suffocating him to death with her massive 73's. Tracking down Barler at a Miami hotel Crystal has a much difficult time in getting him alone and smothering him to dead in that Barler's jealous and possessive girlfriend Eve, Denise Purcell, is in the way. With Eve spilling the beans in knowing that Barler murdered Larry he ends up doing her in with his neck-tie as well. Not realizing that it opened the door for Crystal, whom he made a play for, to have her chance to get a crack or squeeze on him!

****SPOILERS**** Were in for a big surprise at the end of the movie when it turns out that Crystal's meek and flower loving and sniffing dad, Phillip Stahl, was the person who, in Larry holding out on him, ordered the hit on Larry! Only worth watching for what the movie is advertised for in highlighting her-Chesty Morgan- physical statistics. As them being the eight as well as all the other seven wonders of the world all rolled into one; Or is it two?

Cheap Mafia movies are a dime a dozen, right? Not when your heroine is Chesty Morgan, the Polish peeler with proportions preposterous enough to give Russ Meyer pause. Billed as Zsa Zsa (as in "The Zsa Zsa Gabor of Burlesk"), she smothers any of the viewer's misconceptions during the title sequence. As the credits roll and the great theme song blasts, we see the jiggling title artillery distorted (okay--more so) in a series of convex mirrors. Please note that this film is not erotic in the least. Rather it is one of the most unintentionally hilarious pieces of dementia ever to hit the screen!

The amazingly ridiculous plot finds Chesty is Crystal, a "Hard Selling Woman" who is deeply in love and wants to get married. Unfortunately, her gangster boyfriend is rubbed out by his associates after a backfired double-cross. Hell hath no fury like a monstrously huge-breasted woman scorned, and Crystal takes it upon herself to dish out retribution. How? With her gargantuan just-over-six-foot bazookas, of course! Clad in pantyhose and girdle, she raises her arms--cue the thunderous crash of bowling pins--and closes in for the kill! As you may guess, sense is not the movie's strong point. But who watches Doris Wishman movie expecting sense?

Chesty comes off as a complete boob, with her clunky, elephantine breasts as her only assets. Sporting a (supposedly self-supplied) platinum shag wig and a hideous ruffled wardrobe, she lumbers around on mile-high platform shoes, staring blankly at her gaudy surroundings. She does two striptease acts, which consist of her walking around a bit, losing her top, and manhandling those frightening things. Throughout the course of the film, she looks and acts like someone just dragged her out of bed.

Still, despite her awesome inability to act, Miss Morgan has an undeniable screen presence and is consistently fascinating to watch. She and Wishman have created a style of what, in other hands, might be considered simple ineptitude. Everything about the film is so delightfully, wonderfully tacky and ridiculous that you can't look away. It's as if Chesty herself is merely the pinnacle of the greater camp aesthetic. The final dollop of Cool Whip is that THIS WAS INTENDED IN ALL SERIOUSNESS! See it now!

When I was a young man out in the work force, I went with a couple of colleagues to see this flick. The theatre was about 15 feet wide, and I think the film must have been a 16 mm print. The floor was sticky. Besides 3 or 4 young fellows (us) the rest of the audience seemed to consist of much older men with rain coats.

When the movie got going, it was so preposterous that we just couldn't keep from laughing our you-know-whats off. Well, that didn't go over too well with the others: We were repeatedly shushed and told to pipe down, so they could enjoy the show. Interrupted their concentrations, no doubt. It was really too preposterous to be sexy.

On the way out after the movie, there was a jar of "Chesty Morgan matchbooks" in a bowl, and I took one. ( No, her picture didn't wrap around to the back.) Many years later, at home, the lights went out in a thunderstorm. But I happened to remember that the Chesty book of matches was nearby, and I was able to find it, light one, and see my way out of the room. Thank you, Chesty!

The Criterion Channel and their DVD releases are known for bringing folks artsy international films. So, seeing this exploitation film on their channel came to me as a bit of surprise. It's not the first time they posted an exploitation film on their site, but it is unusual.

The film stars Chesty Morgan, a stripper with the dubious distinction of having the largest boobs of any film star according to "The Guinness Book of World Records"....and that undoubtedly is the only reason she was put in films in the first place. After all, she had a heavy Polish accent which needed to be dubbed in her movies and it wasn't like she was known for her acting. And, while this might sound mean, while she is often topless in the film, it's not a particularly attractive or titillating sight! I honestly can't see many people finding this sexy.

The film is obviously very low budgeted and the acting, direction and film work make that pretty obvious. Quality-wise, it's a bit lower than you'd see in "The Room" or "Birdemic"!

The plot, such as it is, involves Chesty going out to get revenge for the murder of her mobster boyfriend. And, she uses the only two weapons she has....with hilarious results. It's all just an excuse to see her boobs...and as I said before, it's really not attractive and is only for the morbidly curious.

Overall, a truly godawful movie with nothing, including the nudity, to recommend it. Don't say I didn't warn you!!

"Deadly Weapons", along with its sequel/cash-in "Double Agent 73", is pretty much the absolute lowest type of cinema, yet there isn't a single exploitation or cult freak out there that can afford him or herself to miss it. Go figure! This is an awful, awful movie that makes the repertoire of such questionable directors like Edward D. Wood, Bill Rebane or Andy Milligan look like genuine masterpieces, but it's definitely a curiosity to have in your collection and undeniably entertaining, BECAUSE it's so inept. Even the world's biggest bonehead knows that everything exclusively centers on Chesty Morgan's extremely over-sized (and terribly UN-sexy) balcony, yet Doris Wishman somehow attempts to make her film look like an emotional and involving revenge/drama. This makes "Deadly Weapons" even worse and a lot more pathetic than its successor "Double Agent 73"! At least that movie openly portrayed Chesty as a cheap sleaze-object and even had her jugs function as spy cameras! In "Deadly Weapons", they want us to believe her character Crystal is a tender, good-hearted and moreover intelligent – at one point it's mentioned she's the successful manager of an advertisement agency – woman, devastated over the death of her thug-boyfriend and on a mission to avenge him. She overhears the conversation between the two petty criminals that killed her lover Larry (one of them is Harry Reems!) and promptly decides to kill them. Crystal uses her charm (?) to seduce them and her humongous breasts to suffocate them. Just when she thinks justice prevailed, poor little Crystal faces the ultimate disappointment… This motion picture can only be described as a total and utter travesty, albeit a fun one. Even though it only runs for a good 75 minutes, half of the film is pure padding (Chesty taking an extended bath, Chesty sleeping naked, some random girl swimming naked…) and totally lacks direction and acting talent. This is more than just "bad 70's cinema"… This is an oddity that needs to be seen to be believed. Don't allow the 1/10 rating to put you off of seeing it.

Out of the two Chesty Morgan features created by Doris Wishman, "Deadly Weapons" is probably the weaker. In this trash epic, Chesty plays a woman who sets out to get revenge on the men who kill her fiancee. The film suffers from too many scenes of seedy violence between the thuggish male characters, and the usual Wishman out-of-focus shots of legs, shoes, wallpaper, curtains, ashtrays and carpets. Chesty can't act to save her life, but she actually does make an attempt, unlike "Double Agent 73" where she resembles a drugged up zombie for the entire running time. She is helped immensely by a lot of her vocal performance being "inner monologues" that we hear without her having to actually try and read lines on camera.

Highlights include Chesty's "sexy" bubble bath near the beginning where she showcases an inability to even sit in a bath like any normal person. The lurid fashion crimes in both clothing and home decor will take your breath away, as will Chesty's hilarious method of dispatching her victims. Oh yeah, and the them tune "Hard Selling Woman" (I think) is great! If anything, "Deadly Weapons" is slightly better made then "DA73", but sadly, a lot of it is still boring. Still, for anyone who appreciates the craziest of cult trash cinema, this is a must see.

A must watch... especially for the screen shots of the floor and carpets, half painted bottom of doors and for the continuation errors, watch a strangulation with a tie, the main character put the tie back on and then... cut to dead body with the very same tie round her neck. Some great location shots in Las Vegas... cut to other side of bar... use your imagination its the same bar honest !

The Queen of Exploitation, Doris Wishman, brings us one of her most successful films and her most popular female superstar, Chesty Morgan (billed in this movie as "Zsa Zsa"). Where in the world did Doris Wishman find Chesty Morgan? I'm sure there's a story there. Chesty is clumsy throughout the film, she has zero talent as far as acting ability is concerned and she looks as if she is absolutely miserable in practically every scene. Her teeth are hideous, her wigs are tacky, and whomever it was that told her to get dressed for every scene in the closet in the dark should be ashamed of themselves! As is the trademark for Doris Wishman movies there are many shots of feet, lamps, and other such inanimate objects for no apparent reason (often the camera will zoom in on Chesty's monstrous breasts) but all of this makes the film more appealing in a strange and bizarre way. The plot is simple...after the mob kills her boyfriend, Crystal (played by Chesty) goes on a rampage and murders his killers using the only weapons she has....her 73 inch breasts! Yes, she actually suffocates her victims between her ample bosoms in mind boggling murder sequences that must be seen to be believed! This film was so successful that it spawned a pseudo-sequel titled "Double Agent 73" which also features Chesty and is directed by Wishman.

This movie is a must for what some of us call "le bad" cinema. The idea is great, a woman with unbelievably huge breasts goes on a killing spree to avenge her husbands death. Of course the acting is awful, the writing leaves a lot to be desired, and the plot is over-done, but how often do you get to see a man smothered to death with enormous breasts?

This is the worst film I've ever seen in an ordinary high-street cinema. It was the support feature to FLESH GORDON, which was a hoot.

Edward D Wood Jr himself would have been ashamed of this one - well, probably.

Directed by Doris Wishman, who started her career in the business of "Nudie Cuties", such as Nude on the Moon (1961) and Diary of a Nudist (also 1961). These were innocuous attempts at getting tits and ass on the screen, in the shape of the nudist camp. She did eventually move into the sexploitation genre, and made two films with the Polish-born exotic dancer, Chesty Morgan (credited on this first collaboration as Zsa Zsa). They consequently made another, released the same year, Double Agent 73. Now, what Chesty Morgan inevitably offers, is incredibly over-sized (yet very much real) bosom. In fact, many of the moments in this film are spent simply gazing at the unattractively massive mamories, as Chesty holds them, moves them, and generally turns them into a very visual form of baking preparation!

This aside, the film does have a semblance of a story. Crystal (Morgan), has had a promise from her partner, Larry (Richard Towers), of marriage. Unfortunately he is mixing with some unsavoury business elements. Headed by an unknown, unseen boss, two thugs, Tony (played by Harry Reems, legend of Deep Throat (1972) fame), and Nick (Saul Meth), are ordered to kill Larry as he holds some valuable information. As Crystal discovers who killed Larry, she decides to find the killers and get revenge. After becoming a stripper (cue various random scenes of boob movements), she kills Tony and Nick using her weapons of choice - her tits of course!

Now obviously this film had an overall spectacle that would have pulled some people in, and this is of course the circus-sideshow that is Chesty Morgan, and her repulsively humongous bazookas. This novelty is pretty much all the film has. It does attempt a poor twist ending, but this feels more like an episode of Ironside (1967 - 1975), or any other crime/mystery television shows of the time. And apart from the sex and nudity, the entire film could have been a plot for TV. The is one bizarre scene which humoured me. Chesty looks out of a window in deep thought, the camera pans down to gaze at her tits, the image of a memory of a swimming pool scene with Larry is superimposed on them. It's almost as if these memories are in fact those of her tits!

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I was a young fellow of around 23 when this was released and, I'm embarrassed to say, I went to see it. There was a storyline in there, but I don't remember it too much, just some kind of revenge thing. Chesty's assets were as advertised, but strangely unappealing when you actually saw them. It does actually remind me of the joke about the cabaret artist with a 73" chest, whose act is crawling out on stage and trying to stand up. Not my favourite film, and, nearly fifty years later, still feel strangely grubby for having watched it.

Deadly Weapons tells the revenge story of busty woman whose boyfriend sudden disappearance related to his connection to a gang of crooks. Using her 'weapons', she seeks information and ultimately make sense of the situation.

This is full bloodied exploitation.

Never would you ever see a breast so large to begin with, BUT to be used as a weapon too. Its just pure insanity. Wishman is apparently the only female director in the exploitation genre AND its very clear why she had a very long career.

The acting, barely any. This film is infamous for dubbing the main actress because that is how bad she is. The filmmaking is oddly standard of 70s lowbrow cinema. I would say, that she does know how to lit her picture though. Very clear restoration of her work. I would say, story-wise. Its very barebones but she does have a weird understanding of femininity and how they are placed in a very masculine world.

Very interesting even with how little budget.

After the mob kill her boyfriend for double-crossing them, Crystal (the jaw-dropping Lillian Wilczkowsky better known as Chesty Morgan) decides to take revenge via mammary suffocation. The flick also has porn legend Harry Reems. It has horrid acting and a weak plot line, but Lillian is a wonder to behold. She's not attractive in many senses of the word, but those over-grown elephantine melons of hers are hopelessly hypnotic. The film has kitsch enough to be one of Doris Wishman's best movies (Not saying that much, I know, but still) Followed by a sequel that was worse in EVERY single way.

My Grade: C+

Eye Candy: Chesty Morgon show's the biggest real breasts I've EVER seen as well as her tush, and Denise Purceli goes for a nude swim

Deadly Weapons is a movie I have at home, which I got years ago, I never saw it before, and when I think about it, not really too sure what made me get a tape of it. Anyways, I'm so glad I did, because I can never get tired of watching it, it's cheesy fries bad. Mind you, it's a typical Dolores Wishman movie, so it's bound to be bad, and this is my favorite (it even surpasses Let Me Die A Woman, which I am also fond of). Chesty Morgan!!! What can I say about her?? I just LOVE her in this flick. She is the WORST actress period. You can tell she's being told what to do. Even simple instructions like hanging up the phone turn into laughable displays of ineptness. You don't hear her speak, it's all dubbed, and I don't think she really spoke English that well, so that was her reason. Now let me get to the real reason she had this movie. Her CHEST!! and what uhhhhh, breasts they are! Actually, no, they're GROSS! Huge masses of drooping skin. Who's attracted to that? As you might know, Chesty Morgan was a popular stripper in her day... WHAT???? She performs a dance or 2, and well, all of it is too too bad.

Harry Reems looks embarrassed.

Deadly Weapons, eh? Well, this is a film that really hardly needs an introduction. Its central idea is so memorably insane, it's difficult to forget once heard about. In fact this one has such a direct and concise story-line that it undoubtedly qualifies as a high concept movie. A woman seeks revenge on the gangsters who killed her husband. She seeks them out, seduces them and then suffocates them with her massive 73 inch breasts. And that's certainly all you really need to know about this one.

Directed by famed exploitation exponent Doris Wishman, it stars the mind-bogglingly top-heavy Chesty Morgan. Strangely enough, I found it somewhat unerotic even though I do have a predilection for women of the, shall we say, more pneumatic kind. In truth, it works mainly as a genuine oddity and one which is pretty distinctive at that. The story, after all, is hardly the point, it's all about the idea of boobs so large and deadly, they can be used as weapons. And that is, in all honesty, quite a good idea, one that I for one am fully on board with. The execution in a general sense is, however, strictly of the bargain basement variety, with its ultra-low budget always apparent. The camera-work is decidedly amateurish, the acting is universally ropey and the events depicted are consistently ridiculous. But despite all its obvious shortfalls I refuse to score this film lowly because on general principal I cannot be anything other than positive towards a film whose whole plot-line revolves around huge hooters used as deadly weaponry.

Huge-breasted Crystal has a boyfriend who belongs to the mob, but doublecrosses his boss only to be killed by two hoods/buddies in said mob. Crystal overhears her boyfriend's death by phone and plans her revenge on the two murderers as she travels to Las Vegas and Miami to assault each of them with her very ample deadly weapons. Such is the basic premise of Deadly Weapons. Well, the film certainly is a one of a kind. I mean how many films feature as its main protagonist a woman with a 73 inch bust who becomes a breast-smothering vigilante. The film is directed by Doris Wishman and its is cheaply-made with little directorial flair and almost no acting(save the performance by porn star Harry Reems). The female lead is played by Chesty Morgan(in reality another very hard to write/pronounce Polish name), and she bounces her way through the film seeing how many different ways she can showcase her bust. She finds many ways. As films go, this is really nothing special except for its status as exploitative cinema or a cult film. It is worth a look for its oddity qualities. If anyone knows...let me know...but I believe the guy playing Crystal's boyfriend was the same man that played Mari's father in Last House on the Left. The names on IMDB are different but the two men are one and the same I believe.

Just kidding, kind of. It's not a horror movie, but I did have to avert my eyes whenever the star's naked bazongas were shown in close-up -- not sexy at all. Too much of a good thing, as they say. What's it about? Basically a low-budget revenge flick, with the gimmick of death by cleavage, the titular (see what I did there?) deadly weapons. I gave it a 6, because, in contrast to the other Doris Wishman films I've watched on the Criterion Channel, it's watchable because it has a plot that moves along competently and conventionally. There's even a plot *twist*! Impressive, in a way -- like when a garage band learns a 4th chord. It is sleazy and exploitive, but those kind of films are part of cinematic history, too, and if you're interested in such films of the 60s and 70s it's worth seeing, if only to cross it off your list.

So the movie was slow.....boring...indifferent and the acting was bad. none of that matters when u watch this woman showing you her deadly weapons in all their glory. she clearly got the job and then some......LOL