User reviews

What do you get when you put two completely unrelated films together? You get the incomprehensible mess known as Robo Vampire, that's what! Seriously, this film is two films, one what basically incorporated an earlier film to pad out the film they were making. Robo Vampire is what they were making and I am not sure what the other film was, but it was obviously a film that did not feature any robot army men or vampires. Then again, the Robo Vampire portion of the film does not really feature any vampires either as it features what appear to be zombies and a ghost woman!

The story, oh boy, this is going to be a tough one. Seems there is a drug war going on and there are inexplicably zombies/vampires around so the drug dealers get the incredible idea to use these creatures to stop the drug agents from stopping them! Well, the drug agents create a cyborg to combat the vampires! Meanwhile, an agent is kidnapped after some priest who was hoarding cocaine was killed and another agent is sent to rescue her having a completely separate adventure than the vampires or the robot resides in!

The film is all over the place as it is a mashup of two films so one minute you are watching a robot battling hopping zombies and the next you are watching two people jumping out of a cable car. Not sure why they decided to fuse these two films together, but you do get a rather interesting mess to view.

So, this film is not good, but at least it's not boring. I mean, you start getting tired of a scene and then you are violently hurled into another completely random scene! The robot in the title looks like crap, basically a dude wearing tinfoil and oven mitts or something and he carries around a big gun that he can make come to him and that is about the extent of his powers. Not sure why they felt the need to deploy vampires against him as the rocket launcher took him out! Just a total mess of a film that relies on the viewer being able to meld two films that have nothing to do with each other together. Not an easy feat...

Robo Vampire belongs rightfully to any serious list of worst movies of all time. But, well, I did watch from the beginning to the end - maybe this tells something about me... Anyway, I checked a worst movie of all time list on Rottentomatoes and just can state: some of those mentioned movies on that list are almost Oscar material compared to Robo Vampire. But anyway, in all its badness there is still here and there some glimmering of entertaining and funny moments. For this reason: if you are able to digest a lot of trash, schlock, cheese, and really bad movie making in general and you have some appetite for some serious 80s action trash, you may try Robo Vampire - but under your own responsibility, I am not responsible for any damage taken ;)

If robo vampire doesn't make you laugh till you cry then you have no sense of humor. Everything about it is so bad, it begs for you to watch again to catch even more plot holes, or at least a couple more laughs.

The movie claims to be about some drug agent who gets killed and is then reborn as a vampire-fighting robo warrior. But really the movie revolves around a plot about a kidnapped(and somehow beautiful) female agent named Sophie, with a robotic story planted on.

Everything is purely cheese in this movie. Robo-Warriors' costume looks like something you'd see in an elementary school play. He fights vampires that do everything but suck blood( they hop, they appear out of the ground, they shoot fireballs out of their arms). A third subplot about a half-naked ghost chick is completely confusing and terrible. The best part is when the blonde haired female drug agent Sophie jumps out of a window from enemies, and her stunt double is clearly a gray haired man in a dress(!).

On top of all of this you have to remember that the only reason that there are vampires in this movie is because the drug dealers hired them!

I don't care what anyone says, movies this bad should be cherished, and MUST be seen to be believed.

It wasn't until the end of this film that I realized it was essentially two movies, both of which on their own could have qualified as pure tripe. One is the the robot vs. vampire story that the title suggests. The other is a more straightforward good guys vs. drug gang movie. Although I have only seen the movie once, I believe you will find that the characters from the one plot line NEVER appear in the exact same shot with the characters from the other plot line. It really is two movies, edited together.

This movie is an absolute riot. I highly recommend it. The first time I saw the robot, I laughed so hard a friend had to pause the film to let me recover. The hopping vampires...oh my, they are perhaps the silliest things to appear in film since the 1950's. The whole thing makes Dr. Who look like it was done by ILM.

For those connoisseurs of bad movies, please get this film. You will not regret it.

ROBO VAMPIRE!

This one is so bad, it's good. Let's fry some brain cells together. Roll tape!

What an experience! Having watched this slice of Godfrey Ho action-trash the other day, I found myself to be both simultaneously enlightened and disgusted at just how insanely terrible and utterly scatter-brained this movie is. But best of all though, it's also incredibly entertaining. This is truly amateur alchemy in movie form and in it's own unique way is brilliant. For the uninitiated "Robo Vampire" is the hack-job work of none other than the great Godfrey Ho! A cinematic mad scientist/hack film director, whose specialty was making the MOST and the WORST martial arts films that any director ever has and he is very much the "Ed Wood of Kung Fu Cinema". The sheer awfulness of this mans body of work cannot be over-stated. Now that I've flattered Master Ho let me try to describe his movie: Robo Vampire. Upon first impression it looks like multiple movies (maybe as many as 3 different ones) have been sloppily edited and spliced together, just like many other Godfrey Ho titles seem to be, so don't expect anything in the way of a coherent plot. And as with any of Ho's movies you have their typically terrible and down-right stupid sounding dialogue (and over-dubbing it in English only makes it sound worse). But best of all is Godfrey Ho's habit of ripping-off popular American-made action films and done so in the most amateur and ham-handed way humanly imaginable. He flavored his own movies with elements that were obviously taken/plagiarized from other, better, movies. Such as "Ninja TERMINATOR" for instance. Yes, built right into the title sometimes, he made it that overtly obvious and did it often. But for ROBO Vampire, well obviously it's something of a ROBOCop rip-off. (NOTE* RoboCop was released the previous year.) If you see the artwork for this movie it literally has RoboCop's image plastered all over it, front and center, subtle. Definitely one of the most blatant examples of copyright infringement I can think of. And is that not the lamest and cheapest looking "robo suit" you've ever seen. As always, amazing production values from Team Ho! Yep, as he demonstrated for us many, many, times over the years, Godfrey Ho had a talent for making movies with a heavy hand... but had little in the way of actual talent. I also highly suspect drug use to be in the mix too, always just so damn incoherent, always.

Well now that I've wasted about an hours time, in conclusion, after having seen the unhinged brilliance that is "Robo Vampire"..... I can confidently conclude that no one else could cobble together a terrible (and incoherent) action film quite like Godfrey Ho. HE IS LEGEND. Make some more man!

Food-For-Thought: If this movie had an aroma, what would it smell like?

Off-hand I couldn't rightly say, but instinct tells me it would be a hideous amalgam of all that is highly odious. But honestly I'd love to hear some of the infernal combinations you guys could come up with. (Pinches his nose *tightly* closed.)

This movie is so terrible that it is wrong for one to own it. it must be viewed then instantly given away.(Trust me you wont have the urge to watch it again!) I say it should be called the Ring because 7 days after making it all of the actors careers DIED! Check the filmographies...its true. The only one who had a career after this movie was uncredited in the film! (good decision)My vote for worst film ever and for that reason all should at least see it once! Remember pass it along don't keep it to yourself. I was given a copy just over a year ago and that copy is now circulating through North Carolina at last check. Enjoy!

I've seen this movie about 10 years ago (and made a comment in IMDb, which has been erased...) I could not believe my eyes when I saw the hopping vampires (though I already knew about them 'cause I first read a reference about this movie in some book about vampires and stuff) Then in some "lucky" day I found the video in a Video Club and I said to a friend of mine: "WE HAVE TO RENT IT!!!" I just rewind the tape over and over again in one final scene where "Robocop" and the leaping vampires looked like they were playing some game in the kinder garden playground! It was too hilarious.

Ed Wood compared to this is just children play... This IS the most stupid, worst, non-sense and plot less movie I ever saw in my life! In fact I'm even hesitating on how should I rate this movie... 1 or 10??

The credits seem to be completely wrong and the plot synopsis lists it as a Japanese movie (with Japanese hopping vampires - !?), but this is the perpetually poverty-striken Thomas Tang's unflinchingly cheesy rip-off of RoboCop... Sorta. Not to leave well enough along Tang decided to have their RoboReject (here called RoboWarrior), looking utterly laughable in a silver lamé get-up that must be seen to be disbelieved, fight a bunch of drug-dealers who are using hopping vampires to protect their drug smuggling.

Subplots and characters are completely forgotten half way through the movie about only to pop-up near the end, the main tough-guy hired to rescue a drug-agent in the hands of the bad guys constantly gets his butt kicked and has to be saved every time and some sequences just make no sense whatsoever. Apparently the entire budget went to guns, explosives and pyrotechnics (which ain't exactly a bad thing). Oh, and the white chick who plays a ghost who shows her boobs when not being doubled by an Asian in a similar (but not remotely identical) outfit for the fight scenes.

I could ramble on about this gem, but words cannot do this film justice! It must be seen to be disbelieved!

A treasured part of my bad cinema collection and if you are a cheese lovin' trash cinema fan (not some dork who is into it because it's the cool thing these days but would rather see a Schwartzenegger flick when all is said and done), this is essential viewing with a short-case of suds and some quick-witted friends.

Tomas Tang launches yet another cinematic stercolith onto the bewildered general public in this absolutely insane Robocop inspired/hopping vampires/action/love story(!!!) Well, to describe the end result as not making any sense would be a gross understatement; In fact, watching this you'll very quickly find yourself rendered mouth agape in gormless disbelief as the random on screen events flash by before your bleary eyes! But, let this not put you off viewing this cinematic mess, for despite the completely nonsensical nature of it all, it is strangely captivating in a very bizarre way....much akin to being hypnotised in fact! So, what the hell is exactly going on in this? Well, in all honesty your guess is about as good as mine and I've just only just finished watching it! From what I could discern, the story centres around a bunch of drug smugglers who take the unusual step of employing a corrupt Taoist priest/sorcerer to resurrect vampires in order to stash their drugs inside them(!) But wait, for it gets even more bizarre! One of the vampires raised called the 'Vampire Beast' (on account of the cheap fx gorilla mask the relevant actor is wearing), is the ex lover of a lady ghost who shows up, none to happy that her boyfriend is being used so thus preventing the two of them from passing to the afterlife together. So what does the word 'Robo' in the films title pertain to you might ask? Well, in yet another bizarre plot tangent, an American agent is killed by the Vampire Beast and is brought back to life as a cheap looking Robo-Cop clone in order to battle the forces of evil. Yes, this is truly bewildering stuff that really needs to be seen to be believed.......the only trouble being that even whilst watching this, you STILL won't believe it!

With a budget of 2.5 million dollars and the talents of that master thespian Denis Lawson (aka Wedge "Look At The Size Of That Thing" Antilles from the original Star Wars Trilogy), you might think that a ground-breaking independent film on the subjects of robot/vampire conflicts and the Japanese drug trade could be created. I wouldn't, but you might.

The acting, what there was of it, was terrible. The same goes for the writing. One unintentionally funny line occurs when "Some Guy" sneaks up on his skinny-dipping girlfriend. She sees him and covers herself. He responds with a line like: "It's a beautiful view. You should bathe more often".

As pure cinematic cheese , this movie has it all: badly acted death scenes, rampant explosions and blood, horrible special effects and costumes, crazy edits, obvious stunt doubles, jumping Japanese vampires and of course, a naked ghost.

Death scenes: After a man is shot, he collapses, then he looks off-camera at the unfortunate director of this movie for direction, and collapses again. Is he dead? Maybe after the end credits he'll look around again before exploding. In another scene, a hero character fires ONCE at a line of enemies and two men, from opposite ends of the line mind you, drop dead.

Explosions: BOOM! BOOM! BANG! BANG! You can't even guess when one will happen and after 10 minutes, you won't care.

Blood: The movie is about vampires, so each scene is like the elevator scene from The Shining

FX/Costumes: Smoke everywhere and the head vampire shoots bottle rockets, or something from his arms. The Robo character is a resembles a baked potato in all that tin foil. The Head vampire wears a gorilla mask, and not a good one at that.

Crazy Edits: I'll let you pick them out.

During fights featuring the ghost girl, the actress playing her is replaced by a shorter and thinner girl with different hair.

Maybe in Japan vampires who jump around are frightening, but I found them hilarious. I'm not sure why putting flypaper on their faces puts them sleep either.

Naked ghost:Self-explanatory.

Don't expect "Traffic" meets "Robocop" meets "Dracula" because what you'll get is "Up In Smoke" meets "Short Circuit" meets "Blacula". I gave this movie a 1 because as an action film, it was truly awful. As a comedy, i'd give it a 10 even if the humour is unintentional. If you like cheesy movies, as I do, go out and rent (I bet you could buy it cheaper though) "Robo-Vampire".

If You Dare...

The reason this movie isn't at the top of the "worst ever" list is simply that it's not yet as well-known (or infamous) as "Plan 9 From Outer Space," "Manos," or "The Beast of Yucca Flats." This is one of those movies that makes you gape in disbelief. The ludicrous storyline pits Robo Warrior (who's dressed in floppy silver coveralls, motorcycle goggles, and a car radio antenna) against a cadre of traditional Chinese hopping vampires. The vampires are being controlled by drug dealers, naturally enough, who employ a Taoist monk to help them create a Vampire Beast. Said beast is a guy in a Mandarin robe and a gorilla mask! Then the Beast's dead finacee, a girl in a see-through nightie, shows up, and the pushers decide the couple should go ahead and get married... But that's only half of the movie. There's also ample footage cut in from another movie, a generic Asian-made shoot 'em up. In my favorite scene, the slow-walking Robo chases the slow-hopping Beast in the pokiest slow-speed chase since OJ and the LAPD. If Ed Wood had lived to see "RoboCop" and "A Chinese Ghost Story," this is the movie he might have made. It's that bad. And it's that good. Scour the bargain bins for this one.

Horror-BULL Sci-Fi Martial Arts Action - that's exactly what this film is and it's a load of bull-crap. It's obvious that someone loves vampires, robocop, martial arts, sci-fi and action films because they rolled it into one forgettable crappy film.

I acquired this piece of cinema poop from the Sci-Fi Invasion 50-Pack. This is one of those films I'll add to my Garbage Collection film list. It's NOT my taste in films at all - far from it.

I like a little bit of action and a handful of martial arts films. I liked Robocop just fine and I love Vampires (but not all the vampire films do I like). But to roll all of that into one long beyond awful film -- that's just a waste of film.

1/10

Words can't put the sheer incompetence of this film into perspective. You can read the other posts for specifics, but trust me: this one hurts. I highly recommend dropping $2-3 to buy this on ebay. It will make for a very enjoyable evening of bad cinema.

The title Robo Vampire is something of a misnomer. At no point in this movie is there a robot vampire. Robot vs. Vampires would be more accurate, though the robot is actually a cyborg and the "vampires" are undead creatures that look and act more like zombies, move by hopping around, and are summoned with offerings of drugs. Oh, and they're led by a Gorilla man who shoots fireworks out of his sleeves and a "ghost witch" who may or may not actually be dead. Anyway, they're all employed by a drug syndicate to kill narcotics agents. And somehow, all of this makes much, much less sense than this description would imply.

Robo Vampire is a movie completely devoid of logic or coherence. There is nothing even resembling continuity. Most of the scenes have no connection to each other, no real transitions in between, and if you showed them out of order, it would barely make a difference. Characters appear with no introduction, disappear with no explanation, and occasionally seem to change from White to Asian and back between shots. The scene in which the cyborg first appears does a slow fade from him being activated in the lab to him throttling two soldiers in a forest. Then the movie just forgets about him for a while. Later he's shot with a rocket launcher, and before the smoke has even cleared, he's back on the operating table.

If it seems like Robo Vampire was stitched together from several completely unrelated movies, that's because it totally was. Large portions were lifted from a Thai action thriller, combined with hastily shot new footage and effects shots from some the director's previous films, then atrociously dubbed. And I do mean atrociously. You've got love a line like "Orientals are a stubborn people" in a movie written and directed by a Chinese man. Apparently, director/writer Godfrey Ho made a career of cranking out frankenfilms like this. His IMDB page lists more than twenty credits for 1988 alone, which gives you an idea just how much time and effort went into this.

Supposedly this movie had a budget of $2.5 million, but it looks like made with about $90, a camcorder, and some off the shelf Halloween costumes. The effects are cheap and unconvincing, the same empty warehouse and riverbank keep showing up again and again, and the robot is clearly the work of a sewing machine. There are a few relatively competent fights and shootouts, which obviously came from another movie. The action scenes with the robot and the vampires mostly look like the result of the editor having a seizure while the actors flail and hop around.

In fact, this whole movie is essentially the cinematic equivalent of a seizure. Or maybe a really bad acid trip. Heaven knows that with the constant references to drugs in this movie the filmmakers must have been on some themselves. I don't know what audience this was intended for, or how it could possibly have made any money, but the fact that this director made 149 other movies of roughly equal quality is enough to fill me with deep foreboding.

A drug-lord recruits Chinese vampires to protect his business from government narcotics agents. When one of their people is captured, the authorities not only send in a rescue team but also create an indestructible cyborg to take on the enemy.

I knew it, I knew it! Although my copy of Robo Vampire names (blames?) someone called Joe Livingstone as director, everything I saw screamed Godfrey Ho. The insane, disjointed story (the result of two or more films badly spliced together); the crappy kung fu; the awful dubbing; the ridiculous special effects: Ho's inimitable touch was all over this nonsense.

Featuring quite possibly the worst RoboCop rip-off ever (the cyborg's suit is made from padded silver lamé), a hopping vampire in a rubber gorilla mask with fireworks up its sleeves (?!?!), a yucky scene in which a woman packs heroin inside the stomach of a dead animal, a female ghost who bares her breasts in order to distract her foes, and numerous badly stuffed dummies being thrown about in poorly choreographed fight scenes, this has to be one the most bonkers and least comprehensible efforts in Ho's canon. Consequently, it also proves to be one of his more entertaining efforts.

6.5 out of 10, rounded up 7 for IMDb.

Hahahaha I bet they had fun filming this mess. Did I turn it off? No. Haha.