User reviews

The bad guy, who has a megalomania problem, looks like a refugee from an Uwe Bolle movie, complete with the lousy accent, shaved bald head, phony make-up, and ridiculous black leather jacket costuming. Most of the time he's making "I will take over the world and here's how I'll do it!" speeches.

But the rock creature is even more pathetic. CGI animation that looks like it was done by Mickey Mouse, and the thing is less scary than Mickey is. It hobbles around, looking like it's going to crumble into a pile of fake-looking pebbles any moment. Meanwhile, Uwe Bolle, or whatever his name is, screams dumb comments to and about the thing any chance he gets to shoot his mouth off. The hero: some guy in an orange down jacket that he never takes off. At least this guy made an effort to act, as did his love interest and the guy playing the Major. But with a script this sloppy, they end up looking silly too.

Somebody smash this rocky horror with a sledge hammer.

Science fiction movies are almost a dime a dozen, so you need to do something fairly creative. This one simply puts a bit of charm in the movie. It isn't a classic, and I can't understand the votes of "10", but neither can I understand the votes of "1". The characters are fairly engaging, and the movie has its moments. It doesn't exactly have the cohesiveness of a sit down movie, but like most movies made in the last thirty years, it is meant to be viewed while doing housework, chores, or on the elliptical or exercise bike. It is more about scenes and atmosphere. An American in a backwards looking European countryside, straight out of the old vampire days, takes a sword out of a stone, and awakens a rock monster. Not great science, but neither is most Science Fiction. The movie gets a lift in the rating mostly due to the heroine's father, who does a parody of Robert Shaw in "Jaws", almost to the letter. The director had the good sense of humor to show some reactions to his speech, taking advantage of the comic double take. Bits and pieces make this a fairly decent movie. Not exactly memorable, but has some assets.

... if you only have one TV channel available and are tired of crying from boredom.

A guy pulls an Excalibur stunt with a sword, stumbles into a backwards village, finds a hottie and ridiculousness ensues. I kept watching in hopes of finding redemption in *something*....*anything*... But the only part of the movie I enjoyed was the credits (Because that's what gave me the hot co-star's name so I could Google her and see if she has any other movies she may have been more "exposed" in.) While this production may have been recently created, it was certainly founded in the old-school style of where the bad guy lays out his plans in an extended speech to the reluctant, possibly mentally challenged movie hero.

I never honestly expected quality movies on the SyFy channel and I can certainly say they did not let me down on this one.

I would've given this movie a 1, but Natalie Denise Sperl adds "1" to the entire movie.

I reserve that dishonour to the likes of Titanic II, Alien vs Predator, Dinocroc vs. Supergator, Super Tanker, 2010: Moby Dick and Quantum Apocalypse. But that is not saying Rock Monster is good, it is not, at least not to me. It gets plus points for some okay, if not great, acting, especially from the lead and Jon Polito, though David Figlioni overdoes it pretty badly, and a few moments of good-natured goofy charm. However, this is really one of those movies where the title itself tells you all you need to know. The story is incredibly basic and predictable, not much difficult from other creature movies of the SyFy channel, with some ridiculous suspend-disbelief moments, like the ending, and some of it feels rushed through. The final act completely falls apart, compared to some of the film's good nature this part feels like a completely different movie and in all honesty I lost interest. The script had a few quirks that I liked, but overall it was cheesy and all over the place, and the characters are stereotypical and not always easy to engage with. As for the effects, I have no better news, the Rock Monster/Creature of the title looks cheap and has no menace whatsoever. All in all, not one of SyFy's worst, but ridiculous and not much different from other SyFy movies of this genre. 3/10 Bethany Cox

Please spare yourself from watching this. It has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen, even for SciFi Channel.

Basically it's about four college students (one of them looks 40 years old) who pull a sword out of a stone (how original).

This unleashes a cheesy c.g.i. looking "rock monster" (hence the original title).

This Movie Contains: *The worst acting I've ever seen. *Cheesy effects *Boring plot line & a slow moving pace

Please Avoid At All Costs.

P.S. The next time your bus breaks down, and you decide to take a detour through a spooky forest in the middle or nowhere, rather than waiting for another bus, don't pull any swords out of any stones. =]

Traveling through Eastern Europe, a group of friends manage to remove a sword stuck in a rock, which soon unleashes a deadly monster made of rock upon the town and forces them to uncover his heritage to stop it.

This here wasn't that bad of a creature feature. One of the main factors is the rather nice story for the film being a rather nice change of pace to have it take place elsewhere than the US, and the Eastern Europe setting here is rather nice and feels welcome. It also allows for their traditions and standards, as well as fears and legends that are incorporated here to come across as really neat, from the complicated back-story, itself another highlight as well as the really detailed explanation sequence that contains a nice battle and contributes to the strong story. Another factor is the reasonably well-done and exciting action scene in here, which are more plentiful than expected. The confrontations with the creature are really nice, especially the initial encounter in the woods which amounts to a rather fun car chase as the creature comes at them through the woods, ending in a brutal car crash, and their later forest attack does have some good stuff to come from it as the gunfire and scattering troops is quite fun along with the final resolution that knocks the monster out. An attack on the village later on is really great, as the fun monster movie rampage comes complete with throwing people around into the surroundings and some unique counters to the creature, mainly flamethrowers and a tank brought into play. The last really good part to it is the conclusion, which is pretty creative bringing in the fantasy and sorcery battles against the creature that leads to a bigger action scene than imagined. These here are the film's good points that hold up over the few negatives. The main issue here is the actual creature itself, as there's nothing about it other than the size to be imposing as the overall design is inherently ludicrous and never comes close to be readily believable. The thing's so top heavy that it's nearly impossible to believe it can move around, nonetheless walk around and sneak up on victims, since it has several surprise attacks that don't have any reason to believe could've happened with something of that design. As well, it's once again being conceived through the usually atrocious CGI that comes with all the big trappings there. This just makes the film look all the cheaper, especially with the fact that more than just the creature this time around was done with CGI. The battle in the streets of the town, with the battle carrying on even though a hanger-on is flopping around like no human could, and the conclusion out in the rocky hills is even worse with all the fantasy elements brought to bear in the scene. The last flaw here is the rather confusing ending to the first battle in the forest. It ends way too quickly and easily for them to take it seriously, and it just doesn't seem believable that they could make it to the later portion without feeling something was off. These here are the film's few flaws.

Rated R: Violence and Language.

I love "B" movies.. and i don't care for many of the sci-fi channel "Made for TV" ones..

But this one was o.k.

The humor (intentional) added a light-hearted aspect that kept it entertaining.

The special effects were typical "Sci-Fi" channel cgi..

The acting was better than some.. but not Oscar nomination material.

The story was decent.....

Rate it 6 out of 10.. not a bad way to kill some time.

My wife thinks i'm insane for watching movies like this... but hey... we all find entertainment in different forms.. I remember one of my fondest memories growing up was watching Saturday Afternoon "B" sci-fi movies with my father on the local independent channel (WUAB out of Cleveland.).. this brought back some fond memories.

There's really only one reason to watch this awful movie, so let's get it out of the way as fast as possible: Jon Polito's bit part is awesome. I don't think Polito knew "Rock Monster" wasn't a parody, but it all worked out fine. Most semi-established actors that take jobs in low-budget garbage totally phone it in, but Polito does the exact opposite and chews the scenery like there's no tomorrow. Damn it, why isn't he the lead? Unfortunately the Polito-free bits are much harder to sit through, mainly because everything just moves at a snail's pace. Take for instance the whole sequence after they "kill" the monster for a first time: you know the movie's only halfway done, you know it's not really dead yet. Why do they show the villagers celebrating for what feels like eight hours? Get to the damn point. Furthermore, why do they put so much effort into killing the indestructible supercreature when they know for a fact that it's controlled by a mortal guy who can barely take a punch? Damn it, just kill that guy! I guess these Russian villagers just really enjoy challenges, that's probably why they speak English with one another as well. Overall there's just nothing about "Rock Monster" that kept my attention. Everything about it is terrible, but at the same time not terrible enough to really laugh at. So basically, it's one of the most frustrating B-movies you can encounter. Steer clear.

The story is not predictable, because you can describe it in a short paragraph. The rest of it was simply filler - a guy trying to walk to another town after failing to do so in a car and seeing it destroying two vehicles; the rock monster being blown to the ground after hitting a car with its fist and making it explode, but not at the least bit affected by a grenade; the monster throwing trees and cars around at attackers, but does nothing except getting stabbed by a guy coming at it with a sword. that sort of thing.

I don't want to call anyone names, but I think the only people that calls this movie good is either involved in the production, or, well, let's not go there.

How do I describe this movie, that so many have so eloquently and poignantly done so, preceding me, using several syllable words, that I think only deserves singles? Like "Barf.

Plot is thinner than steam-on-a-window and the CGI is just bloody awful. (Anyone remember Alien where you didn't really get to see the monster? How'd it ever sell? Try the original Cat People for a real thrill...) How did this crap get made? It's right up there with other lame one in the Iraqi desert with the Chicotay begging for scraps after his gig was over in outer space, which I believe ran the night before on Space.

Oh, yeah, probably my Canadian tax dollars, hard at work! Herk

I saw the premier of this, i orignially had high hopes for this film but after seeing it, I had different thoughts.

There are some elements from other films that they put into this film, like my title, sword in the stone, could they have thought of anything else creative? I don't think so.

Story was OK, acting was descent, it was so cheesy when Jason said "You'll go no further" classic line. I did'nt like the fact that the one Arician American person went away immediately, i think that they should of kept him until the end of the film.

I did'nt really like this film very much, kinda cheesy for me, hopefully they will have a better one than this.

Four friends are backpacking across Europe, when their bus breaks down in rural Bulgaria they hike through a forest where they find an ancient sword stuck in a rock. One of the guys pulls it out and in doing so unwittingly unleashes an evil creature - the Rock Monster! The title alone should serve as a warning to potential viewers that classic monster movie this is not! I can't say much good about this made for TV film I'm afraid. Despite being set in a remote Bulgarian village everyone there seems to speak or understand English quite fluently, I'd have been happy to have had some Bulgarian dialogue coupled with subtitles but I guess so many viewers for these type of films are too lazy to read them. To its credit there are several Bulgarian actors in the cast. However a stunning barmaid called Cassandra (Natalie Denise Sperl) says that she'd love to go to the USA, judging by her "Romanian" accent I think it fair to say that she's already spent much time there! Amongst the cast we get non-actors to established actors, Jon Polito being the prime example of the latter though he really hams it up as a former communist military general. As for the Rock Monster itself the usually horrid CGI "special" effects are fairly reasonable plus there is a gore highlight in which a man quite literally loses the top of his head. There is a lot of romance plus a bit of comedy in the plot but I would like to have seen more horror, I found it rather boring.

I didn't think I'd like it because I went in knowing the FX were below standard but the acting was great and I loved the comedy. I laughed out loud many times. If you go in knowing what to expect, its really enjoyable.