suchaprettything

why why why do people who don't like film make films? OK, that may not be the case with Anita or the writer of this miraculously terrible Canadian cinematic failure (or achievement, depends how you see it), but they sure could'a fooled me. I caught this...uh...thing on the IFC during a free preview for the station and God help me I could not change the channel. I was instantly fascinated by what I was seeing...terrible writing (worse than clichés, honestly, I don't know how else to describe it), less than moderately skilled camera work/direction (I mean, come on, seriously now), acting with about as much emotion and heart as a bag of stale chips, a sound design that would send John Waters screaming for his mommy (see Pink Flamingos to get reference)...the list goes on. I did watch the entire...uh...thing as I was passionately curious about how it actually got made and wanted to read the credits. To my amazement/shock/horror, yes, there was Telefilm involvement. This made me instantly claw my eyes out in wonder and shame as I tried to make sense of how this "script" was pitched, because Telefilm as I understand them pass on about 99% of what they receive. Well, at least now I have proof that it pays to know people in the Canadian film biz when you want to get a...uh...thing made. If this plays again, and I mean ever, just RUN away, you'll thank me.

...perhaps in a first year film school nightmare??... I'm not really sure where to start with this one. Perhaps I should talk about why I think this 90 min+ miracle of Canadian cinema could have easily been condensed to a 10 min (that's even pushing it) mediocre short film. Or, perhaps I should talk about the the character of Emerson and my fascination as to why people think this kid gave a great performance. Yes, that'll do. This was a TV movie, a lesser episode of Degrassi Junior High (sorry Degrassi for making this comparison, I still love you), an After School Special. This was not fresh , this was not original, and this in no way gave me confidence in my Defending Canadian Cinema argument I sometimes bring out when there's an awkward silence at parties. All I can say is don't see it, don't waste your time, and strive to expect more from us Canadian filmmakers. We need less praise for our mediocre achievements (Sarah Polly anyone?) and more accountability for our government funded mistakes. Enough said. ps. Daniel MacIvor, you did your best and played your role with heart, for this I thank you...but then again you also wrote it, so I'm still upset.