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Reviews
BlueBob Egg (2004)
Free BlueBob
Really interesting little flick. BlueBob deserves better. He should not have been arrested. These police need to stop targeting the BlueBob family. My review must be 150 characters, but I have nothing more to add. Give it a watch.
The Disc of Sorrow Is Installed (2002)
I watched this on my telephone
While I did not in a b-trillion years experience this film, I still loved it. However, I can't rate it, seeing as how I did not actually experience it. This is genuinely very funny though, worth a watch (seeing as how it's only 4 minutes).
Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)
Despicable
When I was a young child, my mom and I would always do these movie nights every once in a while. Most of the time, so would fall asleep during these productions, but not me! I would keep on powering through! This one though? Yeah, no thanks. We had assumed that this was the Brenden Fraser movie, but I don't think that was the case. I don't like rating movies based on seeing them for only 10 or 20 minutes, and I really don't like doing that when it was so long ago, but this movie deserves it. The first few minutes almost put me to sleep, what else can I say? This is the only time a ripoff has ever fooled my family, and I can assure the world that it will never happen again, to me or my kids!
Cold Case Hammarskjöld (2019)
Great second half, but then there's the first half
I'd say that about the first hour of this movie is pretty boring. It's hard to pinpoint exactly why that is, but I found myself trying to stay awake for a long time. I'm glad I did, because once you get to a certain point where he basically talks about some of the flaws of the movie, the movie becomes a whole lot more interesting and entertaining. I would say the movie is worth seeing for the second half, but you really need to be prepared for the first half not being all that great, so it's still hard to actually recommend.
Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
Wanted to love it
I'm not the biggest Godzilla fan in the world, and by that I mean I haven't really watched any Godzilla movies, only the 2014 one. I'm under the impression that you don't need to be a diehard Godzilla fan to enjoy every Godzilla movie. Most people like these movies for the cool monster battles anyway, it's not like there's a whole lot of story there. Now, I've seen a lot of people say they really liked this movie, which is something I just don't understand. I would put this movie right next to the Transformers franchise. It has awful human characters that it focuses way too much on, and when you actually get a cool monster fight, it's hard to see anything that's going on. There are a few bright spots though. Some of the shots with the monsters look cool, and the final action sequence is decent. Millie Bobbie Brown gives a pretty good preformance with what shes given and so does Ken Watanabe, who knows exactly what movie he's in. When it comes to the humor, it's awful. I laughed like twice, but one of those times was at this guy who pushed a kid and his mother to the ground so he could get to safety(no, I'm not a terrible person, it was just unintentionally funny). That's all I have on this movie. See it if you want to see some mediocre monster battles, but I would just save my money.
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)
Fun
Let me get this out of the way; This movie is good. I wanted to say that because I've seen a lot of really positive reactions to this movie, and I didn't want my review to come across as a negative review. But, because I'm talking negatives, I guess I'll get into my biggest issue with this movie.
When I look at an action movie, one that's passable will have decent action with a passable story. Looking at the end of the second one, the movie already had the set up for a very simple but effective story; John Wick must escape New York. However, Chapter 3 goes a little more into the world of John Wick, which in concept sounds cool, but not so much in execution. The second act of this movie is bogged down by an exploration of the world that feels the same to what we've already seen. The whole segment is never as good as the first and third act, which brings me back into the positives.
Easily the best part of this movie is the first 20 minutes. The action is incredible and it's a nonstop thrill ride, something I wanted for the whole movie. Even when it gets into the second act, the action remains solid, and that transfers into the third act. Of course, that's really what you're going to this movie for. The preformences are all fine enough(concierge is still my favorite part), and while Keanu Reaves isn't known for his great acting, he still delivers a solid preference because of his dedication to the action sequences. Also, I think this goes without saying, but the cinematography is pretty good.
I think this movie is definitely worth seeing, but I couldn't get behind it as much as others have. I give it a 7/10.
Pokémon: Detective Pikachu (2019)
This review is bad
I like Pokémon. I thought this movie was average. That's all I feel like saying on the matter.
Hellboy (2019)
The "Suicide Squad" of 2019
I think my title sums it up pretty well. If you liked Suicide Squad unironically, I get the impression you will enjoy this movie. Personally, I hate Suicide Squad, but there's a decent amount to laugh at in the movie, which is very similar to Hellboy(2019). I haven't seen the original films in a while, so just keep that in mind. I remember enjoying them though.
The one good thing about this movie was David Harbour. He did a great job portraying Hellboy, and even gave me one laugh at a point in the film. I also kind of liked the villains and his father, but not as much as him.
While on the topic of positives, I thought(for the most part) that the monster designs were kind of cool to see, along with some of the locations. There is a certain location that a character is in that I found really cool, which if you have seen the movie, you know doesn't really add anything to it.
The biggest issues with this movie are the story and editing. There's so much going on and the pacing is all over the place. Certain scenes drag out while others speed through important character development or any sort of explanation as to what is happening. A specific character shows up in the movie that is given no introduction, gives some exposition, and then doesn't show up for the rest of the movie. I feel like that scene was about two minutes in total.
I'm just losing my train of thought trying to remember what even happened in this movie, so here's what I'll say. I got some good laughs out of this movie(99% unintentional), so if you're into that sort of movie, I would recommend it. As I said before, this movie has a lot of dependence on your thoughts of Suicide Squad. I think this movie suffers from a lot of the same exact issues, but if you like Suicide Squad, watch this movie.
Pet Sematary (2019)
Really disappointing
I'm not a big reader, so I haven't really read too many of King's books. However, I think when done right, adaptations of his movies can be really good. I know he hates The Shining, but that's one of my favorite movies of all time. I also enjoyed the most recent It movie. However, I know a good amount of King adaptations aren't all that great. So I was hoping for something special with this new Pet Sematary.
I'd like to get the good things out of the way first. The preformences from the two parents and Lithgow are fantastic. If the movie was as good as their performances, there wouldn't be any issues. The two little kids were fine, though the little boy basically has nothing to do. The cinematography is good enough and it does help provide some good tension. The special effects were also pretty great, most of the time at least.
Getting the positives out of the way, I need to discuss the bad parts of this movie. There was so much potential, but a lot of things in the story are underdeveloped. There's a specific subplot that deals with one of the characters that adds to their backstory, but it honestly felt out of place. It didn't feel like it added anything to the movie, and didn't even really tie in with it. There's also another character that does certain things that are never explained, and I still don't even know who the character is. I find myself asking why that character was there with nothing to even possibly explain it. The story is also pretty predictable. I was sitting with my friend, who hadn't really seen any of the trailers(which gave away too much), and he was still guessing the majority of the things that were going to happen. There's a lot of foreshadowing in the movie, but it's way too obvious. Instead of just letting you know something will happen, but you don't know what or when, it just tells you what will happen(not directly, but with the obvious foreshadowing, it might as well have been direct). Speaking of the predictablity of the story, this movie is littered with tons of predictable jump scares. Nothing about it sticks with you to make it creepy that way, it's all about the jump scares, which really disappointed me.
Pet Sematary was a movie I found to be really disappointing, mostly because of the potential I saw with it. I find it hard to really recommend this movie to anyone, except maybe the really diehard King fanZ
Shazam! (2019)
A very fun movie
Walking out of this movie, I knew I enjoyed it, but I didn't know to what extent. To tell you the truth, I still don't know. However, that doesn't change the fact that at the very least, this is a pretty good movie. Zachary Levi is absolutely fantastic as the lead role, and so is Asher Angel as the normal version. Both of them are really funny in their roles, though I would say Levi gets the majoryof the comedy, and Angel gets the more emotional stuff, which leads me to my next thing. This movie isn't just a comedy poking fun at the superhero genre, similar to Deadpool. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but we've seen it before. Shazam! does that, but it also makes you actually feel something for the characters. In order to do that, the other foster kid's performances have to be good. This is where the movie slightly fumbles for me. I don't think any of them are bad, but I do feel the ones outside of Jack Dylan Grazer are on the weaker side. I think Grazer does an excellent job, so they did a good job casting him. In terms of the story, there isn't much to really take in. The best parts in the movie are with Levi/Angel and Grazer's characters figuring out the superhero stuff. The villain add the threat that's needed to the movie, but I almost feel I could've watched a movie without a main villain and had it just focus on the hero for the story. Also, some of the cgi looks kind of iffy. I get the impression some of it was meant to be that way, but there are a few things that did take me out a little bit. I would definitely recommend this movie for anyone who wants to have a nice time at the theater with a movie they actually won't forget the second they leave. This is definitely one of the best DCEU(or whatever they're calling the universe now) movies.
Us (2019)
I have no title for the review
I don't know what to say about this movie without spoiling it. The preformences were all good, the direction was good, I enjoyed the writing. I've seen a lot of complaints about the story, and I believe it's because of the logistics of how it's supposed to work. Without spoiling it, I had a discussion on the way home from the movie, and I was able to come to conclusions for most of the questions I had. I see a good anoint if the people here on imdb aren't liking it too much, but I'd definitely say you should see it. It's a bizzare expirence, which I really enjoyed.
Fyre (2019)
Interesting
I don't have much to say. If you want a pretty good documentary to watch, watch this. I feel like if I say anything, it will just give something away that works so much better in the movie itself. I also don't really have anything to say on it, other than I liked it.
The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (2019)
A bit disappointing, but still enjoyable
The first Lego Movie is one of my favorite animated films of all time. I absolutely love it. I didn't enjoy Batman as much, but I still really enjoyed it. I skipped Ninjago because the show is not very good, so I don't think the movie would be that good either. However, I had some high hopes for this movie, seeing as how I really enjoyed the two Lego movies I saw. Now, when I first saw this movie, I gave it a 7/10. I thought is was good with some issues. Since then, I have dropped my score due to the movie being a lot more messy than I remember. Now, I'm not saying the movie is bad, but it's not the greatest I've ever seen. To start out with the positives, I liked all of the characters in the movie. Wildstyle took more of a leading role this time around, so we got to see more of her, which I did enjoy. Queen Wateverawanabe(one however you spell it) was a great addition to the existing cast, along with Rex Dangervest. Emmet was good, but I didn't fall in love with him as much as I did in the first movie. However, some reveals make it a little more interesting later on in the movie, but I'll get into those in a little bit. In terms of the jokes, they were fine. A lot of them were reused from the original, which was disappointing, but you still had some new ones that worked. However, it felt like they tried too hard to appeal to little kids this time around, which felt especially weird when none of the little kids were laughing at any of the jokes. It was only my friend and I, and the parents. Now to get into my biggest issue which was the story. While it isn't really that hard to follow what was going on, it was pretty predictable, something the first movie made sure it wasn't. Without spoiling the movie, there's a certain thing that happens that leaves he movie to go in an interesting direction, but instead it goes into the most predictable direction it could. Part of me also wished they didn't lean into the real world as much as they did. I would've still understood what was going on. The reason I say this is because all of the real world segments are just bad. To go out on a positive note, the animation looked great as always, though I still feel that the animation in the original movie looks a little bit better, but that might be a preference thing or something. So I would definitely recommend this movie if you like the first one, but that's really it.
Captain Marvel (2019)
Another Marvel movie
I'll make this very quick. If you like Marvel movies, this is just another one of the same movie you've seen 10 times now(I say 10 because there are enough unique ones). I may change my score from a 6 to a 5 in a month, but this would only be he case if I don't really remember it that well.
I wanted to add something to the review that didn't really have to do witty the movie. My thoughts on the movie are just that. I don't hate Brie Larson at all, in fact I agree with 95% of what she tries to say(I just have some other thoughts on her "A Wrinkle in Time" comment). So please don't take this as a review attacking the movie at all, I just thought this movie happened to be really average.
How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (2019)
Pretty good conclusion
Instead of praising everything I can about this movie(which I should probably do), I want to focus on one main issue I have with it. Keep in mind, I really enjoyed this movie, but there was something about the third act that felt off. The ending itself was well done, but I feel it didn't have the build up it needed for the impact to really set in. It was set up throughout the movie, but the villain was a complete distraction from that part of the movie, so whenever he's on screen, it almost feels like the point of the movie has been abandoned. Now I brought up the third act because of how rushed it felt. Personally, I could've used another 10 minutes in the third act, maybe an extra 10 minutes in the movie as a whole. If I did a terrible job at explaining my point, I apologize, but it's something I wanted to bring up. So if you haven't seen the movie and you like the How to Train Your Dragon movies, definitely give this one a watch.
Bai wan ju e (2012)
Huh.
This is the kind of movie that I would usually give a 1/10, but I get the feeling it doesn't deserve that. Yes, it's incredibly stupid, but it doesn't always take itself that seriously, though the key word is always. The issue with that is it isn't funny when it tries to be, but is when it doesn't, so it's at least slightly entertaining. I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone actually looking for something good to watch. Honestly, I find it funnier that I own the thing than the movie is funny. So if you do decide to watch it, get some friends and prepare to laugh.
A Dog's Way Home (2019)
Worse Than Expected
What is there to say about this movie? It's boring, has awful cgi, terrible performances, really bad script, less than competent cinematography, forgettable soundtrack, and an interesting enough idea for a story told in the worst way possible. Bryce Dallas Howard's voice is incredibly annoying, especially when narrating the moments that don't need narration. Tone is also really inconsistent too.
The worst part is that people will give it a pass because "it's just for kids". Well if these are the kinds of kids movies we're getting, out next generations are doomed. Thanks Sony.
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
Pretty disappointed
(Upfront, I'm sorry for any misspellings)
I'm under the belief that there hasn't been a bad film in the Harry Potter franchise. At worst, they're enjoyable, so I would definitely say I'm a fan of these movies. However, I haven't read any of the books(though I do own them). I've always remembered the movies way more, they're kind of like another Star Wars to me. So when I say that Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald is a bad movie, you have to understand that it's coming from someone who really wanted to say it was good. I'm not saying there isn't good stuff in here, because I think there is a good amount.
First off, Eddie Redmayne as Newt Scamander really works for me. I like his charm and he's a protagonist that I enjoy watching. Dan Fogel also continues to be a highlight, being the comedic relief character, a character that could go completely wrong but ends up keeping me entertained. In terms of new inclusions, Jude Law was amazing as Dumbledoor. There was a specific moment where it felt exactly like a younger version of him, but also took on a while new personality, seeing a new side to him that we haven't before. Most of the other performances were fine, though one stood out as not bad, but kind of disappointing in Johnny Depp's Grindelwald. Without spoiling anything, there was a certain piece of information that he reveals that is really important. However, I couldn't hear a thing he was saying because he mumbled the line. I asked my friend after the movie and he didn't understand it either, so good thing I was with someone who uses a closed captioned device so I knew what he said. Other than that, I thought his performance was fine.
I would get into the characters themselves right now, but I would like to save that for when I go into the story. However, I would like to talk about Grindelwald, though if you want to remain completely free of what some would call spoilers, I would recommend skipping this section. I found there to be a significant flaw with his character, that being I don't know why he's doing what he's doing. I'm only told he's a really dangerous guy without being shown or actually finding out WHY he's a dangerous guy. I'm going to get into some more topics along these lines later, but I wanted to mention that while I was talking about Johnny Depp.
Music is great as always and that's all I can say on that. The score always feels magical. Directing is also great as always.
Okay, now I want to get into the issue of this movie. That's the story, or the lack of one. The best way I can describe this movie is that it begins as a normal movie, has the exposition and goes from there. Here's the thing: it never GOES from there, it just keeps giving us some exposition, and most of it feels useless. It's just a bunch of events that happen but don't add up to anything. I honestly don't think there is a plot in this movie, it's only trying to set up for the next one. So when I brought up the characters, I mentioned I couldn't talk about them because I don't think they have any arch's, at least they have no visible growth. I think this reflects the nonexistent story because it adds to absolutely nothing going on. When I say that, I think it's an exaggeration, because there's a lot that happens, but it's almost impossible to follow. Now I do know people are saying it's hard to follow(which is true), but I feel like people think they can't follow it because they aren't big on Harry Potter, which I disagree with. The plot is just that messy.
Wrapping this up, I like the characters(some of them anyway), music, and directing. However, the plot(or lack of one) is so bad that I can't bring myself to recommend this movie to anyone. I was honestly kind of sad that I gave this movie a 3/10, and you could say "just move it up", but I don't feel like I can. In my objective opinion(if that makes sense), I think this movie is bad, and I don't know if I can watch it again.
8-Bit Digital Fireplace with Music (2017)
This movie sucks.
Why would you watch this? This thing is a complete waste of time!
Camouflage (2001)
One of the worst movies I've ever seen
What is there to say about this movie? It's unfunny, poorly written and even directed, and incredibly boring. I don't even know how I found this movie, but I had no expectations for it, and I was still disappointed. When I laughed, I was only laughing at the fact that I was in possession of such a terrible film, if you can even call it that. Don't watch this pile of crap, even if it's free.
The Shining (1980)
The only film to ever scare me
I don't want to say much other than for you to see it. A note to mention is that I haven't watched too many horror films, but I've never had trouble falling asleep after watching them, except for this one. This quickly became one of my favorite movies of all time. I'm not going to say anything else to waste your time because you should already be watching this movie.
Slender Man (2018)
A complete joke of a movie
I'm not going to say much on this one. One thing I will say is that my friends and I either laughed at the scares or we just sat there in shock that it was a scare. I went home and laughed to myself because I still couldn't believe I saw the movie. If you find this movie to be scary, you need to raise your standards of a horror movie because this thing shouldn't even count. I generally don't give a movie a 1/10, but there was nothing good about this movie. I'd suggest watching videos on it instead, it's probably funnier.
Before 2069 (2018)
What's the point?
Going in, I wasn't promised much. The only thing I expected was a little more explanation on the contents of Blade Randy 2069. Instead I got a small explanation for something that didn't matter. What is found out doesn't really add too much depth to Blade Randy 2069, and then it just goes on randomly. No point is made. I haven't even mentioned the film making. There's no diolouge, only voice over. The cinematography is not good(especially a certain fight scene that takes place). The editing/sound editing is really bad and you can't understand the voice over. There's more, but I don't feel like getting into it. Just don't watch it. You can't can even watch it anymore, it was taken off of YouTube.
Changed Man: The Intro (2018)
A step in the right direction
Out of all of his work, this is his best so far. The first episode provides intrigue for the rest of the series, but that's about it. The cinematography is off, the dialogue feels cheap, and the editing is boring. For Randy Puff, this is a step in the right direction, but it's not good in terms of regular standards.
To sum it up, this episode provides a possible gateway to something special, but still has some issues with other things.