DEAD TO ME

"Pilot"

Written by

Liz Feldman

Writer's Draft 3/20/18

DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 1.
3/20/18

FADE IN:

EXT. LAGUNA BEACH - DAY

Judy Garland’s “Get Happy” plays as the camera surfs through
the streets of Laguna Beach. It’s another perfect day. Sun
shines through the palm trees, birds chirp and the ocean
washes up on the shore in the distance. We focus in on a
VOLVO SUV as it turns into a parking lot.

EXT. PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS

JEN, poised and put together, pulls her SUV into a parking
spot. She checks her eye make-up in the mirror. It’s smudged
from crying. She wipes the runny mascara off her cheek, puts
on some lipstick and gathers herself.

INT. JEN’S VOLVO - CONTINUOUS

The song “Paralyzed” by the HARDCORE GERMAN DEATH METAL band
Caliban blasts on Jen’s stereo.

MUSIC (V.O.)
YOU FUCKING PRICK/ DROP DEAD/
YOU MAKE ME SICK/
BLEGH/ YOU FUCKING PRICK/
DROP DEAD/
YOU MAKE ME SICK/
GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

Jen, unfazed by the music, blots her lipstick on a napkin.

She takes a deep breath, grabs her purse and exits the car.

EXT. HEISLER PARK - DAY

Jen walks up a beautifully gardened pathway to a charming,
bluffside GAZEBO. A sign attached to the gazebo’s entrance
reads “Friends of Heaven.”

INT. HEISLER PARK GAZEBO - CONTINUOUS

Jen, uncomfortable, heads to an underwhelming snack table as

WORN-OUT-LOOKING PEOPLE gather. She pours herself coffee,
takes a sip and spits it right back into her cup. JUDY
approaches, smiling. She exudes warmth, a touch of hippy and
just a sliver of sadness.

JEN
(to Judy)
Skip the coffee. It’s awful.
JUDY
I made it.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 2.
3/20/18

JEN
I’m sorry.
JUDY
I’m kidding. It’s terrible.
(extends her hand)
I’m Judy.
JEN
(hesitantly shakes it)
Jen.
JUDY
Beautiful day, right?
JEN
(over it)
It always is.

JUDY
I love your blouse. It’s a good color for
you. Most people don’t know their palate.
They’ll wear a spring when they’re a fall
but you know you’re a winter and that’s
huge.

JEN
Thanks.
JUDY
(playful)
You come to this group often?
JEN
My first time.
JUDY
Me too.
(then)
I’ll leave you alone.
(then)
But sorry, hope this isn’t weird... you
do real estate, right? I feel like I’ve
seen your picture on like a bus bench.
You and a cute gay guy.

JEN
Yeah, that’s me. And Christopher, who
does not think he looks gay in that
picture.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 3.
3/20/18

JUDY
Oh, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Gay is
a beautiful thing. Who doesn’t want a gay
real estate agent?

JEN
Which bench did you see?
JUDY
The one where you’re like --
Judy puts her hands on her hips and fake smiles.
JEN
No, I meant, I guess I meant where do you
live?

JUDY
Sorry. Newport.
JEN
(surprised)
You live in Newport?
JUDY
Yeah, I don’t think I belong there
either.

JEN
Not belonging there is a good thing.
Jen grabs a business card from her purse and hands it to
Judy.

JEN (CONT’D)
If you ever need a realtor.
JUDY
I might, thank you. Sorry, I hope this
isn’t weird but... can I... hug you?
JEN
...No.
JUDY
Okay.

JEN
I don’t really like to be touched.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 4.
3/20/18

JUDY
That’s okay. Sorry, I’m just, I’m a
hugger and I thought you kinda look like
you need a hug.
JEN
Do I?
JUDY
Well, you’re here.
JEN
I’m really fine.
FLASHBACK TO:

INT. GORGEOUS OCEAN VIEW HOUSE - DAY

Jen, in an ANGRY RAGE, throws a decorative side table at

CHRISTOPHER, her church-going-gay real estate partner. He
lunges out of the way, as the table shatters a sliding glass
door. Their clients, a RICH ORANGE COUNTY COUPLE, look on in
fear.

BACK TO:

INT. HEISLER PARK GAZEBO - MOMENTS LATER

Jen and Judy sit in a circle of chairs with PASTOR WAYNE, a

kind, older man with a bad toupee, KYLE, a middle-aged
feelings-eater, YOLANDA, a religious older black woman,
WENDY, a sweet lesbian, and LINDA, dead inside.

PASTOR WAYNE
Looks like we have some new people today.
He looks at Jen, expectantly.

JEN
That’s okay.
PASTOR WAYNE
Alright. Well, welcome to Friends of
Heaven. I’m Pastor Wayne. As some of you
know, I like to start out our grief
circle by talking about a loss I lived
through, that got me into this work. Nice
haircut, Wendy.

Wendy smiles.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 5.
3/20/18

PASTOR WAYNE (CONT’D)

My aunt fell down a flight of stairs and
cracked her head open and bled out as her
five-year-old son watched. And I was the
one who asked her to get me a soda from
the basement. So, I live with that. And
that’s a little something about me.

JUDY
Oh my god.
PASTOR WAYNE
I appreciate that. Is there a loss you’ve
had that you’d like to share with us
today?

JUDY
I... um, I lost my fiancé eight weeks
ago.
(tearing up)
I’m Judy.

PASTOR WAYNE
Hi, Judy.

JUDY
Hi.
(beat)
It was really sudden. One minute we were
eating dinner and then the next, he was
gone.

FLASHBACK TO:
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - NIGHT

Judy, in a pretty summer dress, is doubled over, crying next

to a NURSE.

NURSE
I’m sorry.
JUDY
(through messy tears)
Thank you.

BACK TO:

INT. HEISLER PARK GAZEBO - MOMENTS LATER

All eyes on Judy.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 6.
3/20/18

YOLANDA
Heart attack?
JUDY
(nods)
He was forty-nine.
JEN
(sympathetic)
That sucks.

JUDY
(through messy tears)
Thank you.

PASTOR WAYNE
Thank you for sharing that. Does anyone
else new want to share about a loss
they’re living with?

Everyone looks at Jen.

JEN
No.
PASTOR WAYNE
At your own pace.
KYLE
(sotto, to Jen)
I didn’t talk my first week either.
PASTOR WAYNE
So, last week we started talking about
the “F word.”

Jen and Judy exchange a confused look.

PASTOR WAYNE (CONT'D)
Forgiveness. Forgiveness can be very
difficult, and it can take time, even a
lifetime, but it’s a way through.
Sometimes we need to forgive the person
who passed, a doctor maybe, an EMT who
arrived too late, God, maybe ourselves.
But, no matter what the circumstances,
everyone is deserving of forgiveness.

JUDY
You really think that?
PASTOR WAYNE
Jesus thought that.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 7.
3/20/18

YOLANDA
Amen.
JEN
--How do you forgive someone for hitting
your husband with their car, then driving
away and leaving him to bleed to death on
the side of a road?

The room goes quiet as everyone looks at Jen.

TITLE SEQUENCE: DEAD TO ME

INT. HEISLER PARK GAZEBO - SAME

All eyes still on Jen.

JEN
No, that’s it. I don’t really want to get
into it, I just -- someone else can go.

INT. HEISLER PARK GAZEBO - A LITTLE LATER

The group gives Judy supportive looks.

JUDY
(choking back tears)
It feels like such a deep ache. Not just
for how much I miss him, but for the
things I won’t even get to miss. We were
three months away from our wedding. I
have my dream dress hanging in my closet.
It’s a 1950’s vintage princess scoop
neck.

WENDY
Oh, pretty.
JUDY
Yeah, it fits really well.
YOLANDA
I miss my husband so much sometimes I
think I’ll be sick.

PASTOR WAYNE
These things take time.
YOLANDA
It’s been eighteen years.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 8.
3/20/18

JEN
(to herself)
Jesus Christ.

JUDY
Why do people have to die?
KYLE
And why do we have to forgive?
(then, re: Jen)
She’s supposed to forgive a hit and run
driver? I’m supposed to forgive cancer?
Cancer left my daughter without a mom.
Fuck cancer. Cancer's a big fat crooked
dick. Sorry, Pastor.

PASTOR WAYNE
(uncomfortable)
Alright.

YOLANDA
(starts to cry)
When does the pain go away?
PASTOR WAYNE
It will.
LINDA
Or it won’t.
JEN
Is this -- I’m sorry -- is this supposed
to be making me feel better? Because this
is -- you’re all very sad. And I’m really
truly sorry, but I have enough of my own
misery. I don’t have room for anyone
else’s.

PASTOR WAYNE
Of course, I know it can feel that way.
It's okay that you're feeling whatever
you're feeling: sad, angry, defensive --

JEN
I’m not defensive, I’m just -- I’m tired.
JUDY
I’m tired too.
PASTOR WAYNE
(to Jen)
Can you tell us about that?
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 9.
3/20/18

JEN
I just haven’t been sleeping. I was never
a good sleeper, but since Ted died, I
don’t sleep. Not naturally, anyway. And I
don’t want to take pills, I’m not a pills
person. I have two kids, two boys who
need me and I’m not gonna be one of those
Xanax Ambien Zombie Moms.

Linda, dead-faced, gives Jen a knowing look.

JUDY
Nights are really hard.
JEN
Yeah.
JUDY
Mornings suck too.
JEN
Yeah. Well, they’re okay for like two
seconds --

JUDY
-- But then you remember.
JEN
Exactly.
JUDY
And it’s like you’re living in a
recurring nightmare -- but you can’t wake
up, because you are awake.

JEN
(re: Judy)
She gets it.
JUDY
I get it.
Jen and Judy share her a small smile. Two peas in a sad,
tired pod.

EXT. HEISLER PARK GAZEBO - LATER

The group is dispersing. As Jen heads out, Judy stops her.

JUDY
I’m up all night.
Judy hands Jen a small piece of paper.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 10.
3/20/18

JUDY (CONT'D)
Feel free to call me and we can not sleep
together.

INT. LAGUNA BEACH REALTY - LATER

Jen enters a beach chic office as Christopher, in a neck
brace, whips around in his desk chair.

CHRISTOPHER
(startled)
Jesus in heaven! Jen, you know I’m still
a little on edge.

JEN
I told you I’m sorry.
CHRISTOPHER
Yes, I got the orchid, thank you.
JEN
I went. To that grief group.
CHRISTOPHER
You did? Pastor Wayne there?
JEN
He was.
CHRISTOPHER
He ask about me? J.K. I’m glad you went.
Did it help?

JEN
Yeah, I’m completely better.
CHRISTOPHER
Is sarcasm one of the stages of grief?
JEN
Yeah, it’s right after throwing shit at
your business partner when they say
“maybe you just should be grateful for
the time you had with your dead husband.”

CHRISTOPHER
I don’t think that’s a real stage.
(off her look)
Jen, I was just trying to help you. And,
frankly, after thirteen years, it’s
hurtful you think of me as just your
“business partner.”
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 11.
3/20/18

JEN
You know what I meant.
CHRISTOPHER
You know I love you, right? You’re like
family to me.

JEN
You don’t like your family.
CHRISTOPHER
You know what I meant.
JEN
Any word from Vista Glen? The repair
estimate come in?

CHRISTOPHER
Yeah. Eighty-five-hundred. The doors were
custom.

JEN
Fine, we’ll make it up when we sell it.
CHRISTOPHER
We won’t actually. They dropped us. And
so did Valley Drive. When they heard what
happened at Vista Glen.

JEN
Fuck. Fuck.
CHRISTOPHER
Listen, Jenny, you’ve been through a
tragic loss, just a total nightmare.
Maybe you should think about taking some
time off --

JEN
(sharp)
I don’t want to take any fucking time
off!

CHRISTOPHER
(a little scared)
Okay!

JEN
Sorry.
(then)
I’ll find us a new listing. A good one. I
promise. I’ll make it up to you.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 12.
3/20/18

CHRISTOPHER
Okay. You do that.
(beat)
And you let me know if there’s anything I
can do for you and the kids.

JEN
Wanna come over for dinner Saturday?
CHRISTOPHER
Can’t this weekend. The boys and I are in
Palm Springs. But let’s raincheck that
for sure.

INT. LAGUNA ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY - AFTERNOON

A pastel-painted rec room filled with ELDERLY PEOPLE playing
cards, reading, and staring out the window. Judy approaches
ABE, 86, sharper than the rest.

JUDY
Abe, the nurse says you’re not taking
your statins. She asked me to see what’s
going on. Not that I need an excuse to
talk to the hottest guy in here.

ABE
That’s not saying a lot. If you consider
the other contestants.

JUDY
What’s going on? Why aren’t you taking
them?

ABE
I don’t need ‘em. It’s not a concern. I
survived the Holocaust, high cholesterol
doesn’t really move the needle for me.
What I really need is some reefer.
JUDY
What?
(sotto)
You already went through what I gave you?
ABE
What else am I doing?
JUDY
You could be doing a lot. There’s a
bridge tournament on Tuesdays, I lead a
chair yoga class every morning --
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 13.
3/20/18

ABE
I don’t have the knees for yoga.
JUDY
It’s very low impact.
ABE
I just don’t want to.
JUDY
Okay, I’ll get some pot for you.
ABE
Thank you.
JUDY
(presents pill cup)
But you have to take this for me. Because
I love you. And I can’t deal with losing
anyone else right now...

She starts to choke backs tears.

ABE
Hey, hey, now. Judy, don’t cry, come on.
Don’t cry. I’ll take ‘em. I’ll take ‘em.

JUDY
I’m sorry... I’m just, I think I’m
feeling a little alone right now.

ABE
Right now, of course. I understand.
(takes her hand)
You know, after Lydia died, I never
thought I'd meet anyone or love anyone
again. But I was wrong, right?

JUDY
Yeah.
ABE
Because then I met Diane.
JUDY
Right, you’re right.
(beat)
But then Diane died.
ABE
That’s true.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 14.
3/20/18

INT. JEN’S HOUSE - EVENING

Jen’s at the door. KAREN, an uptight Orange County mom, hands

her a casserole.

KAREN
So, you just heat it up at three hundred
and leave it in for thirty-five minutes.

JEN
Thanks, Karen. But you really don’t have
to keep --

KAREN
It’s my take on Mexican lasagna.
JEN
(curt)
Great.
KAREN
It’s nothing. We just don’t want you to
think you’re alone. Jeff and I are here
for you. If you ever want to talk.

JEN
Thanks.
KAREN
Just can’t imagine what you’re going
through.

JEN
Well, it’s like if Jeff was hit by a car
and died. Suddenly. And violently.
KAREN
Right.
(then, re: casserole)
Well, you get that dish back to me
whenever you can. No rush --

Jen shuts the door in her face.

INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING

Jen eats the casserole with her sons, CHARLIE, 14, all edges,
and HENRY, 9, all soft.

CHARLIE
Why are there raisins in this?
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 15.
3/20/18

JEN
I honestly don’t know.
HENRY
I like it.
CHARLIE
I’m sick of other people’s food.
JEN
Me too.
CHARLIE
I miss Dad’s cooking.
JEN
Me too.
CHARLIE
It’s so not fair.
JEN
Which part?
CHARLIE
Why did our dad have to die? Why didn’t
Tyler’s dad die? Rick. That guy’s a
douche.

Jen can’t help but nod in agreement.

HENRY
I like Rick.
INT. VEGAN RESTAURANT - NIGHT

A WHITE GUY IN A TURBAN hands Judy a take-out container.

WHITE GUY
Namaste.
JUDY
Thanks, Glen.
INT. HENRY’S BEDROOM - EVENING
Jen tucks Henry in. She turns off a lamp, and switches on his
night light.

HENRY
You have to wait ‘til I’m asleep. All the
way asleep.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 16.
3/20/18

JEN
I know, Boop.
HENRY
Mommy, I don’t want to go to school
tomorrow.

JEN
No kidding.
HENRY
I want to go to work with you.
JEN
I know, Hen, but we can’t do that
anymore. It’s been three months. We gotta
go back to normal.
HENRY
(getting worked up)
But I want to be with you.

JEN
I know. I know you do.
(then)
You know, honey, what happened to your
dad was an accident.

CHARLIE (O.S.)
As far as we know.
JEN
(yelling)
Charlie, please!
(then, to Henry)
What happened to your dad was a freak
accident.

HENRY
Yeah.
JEN
And nothing like that is going to happen
to me. I’m going to be fine. I promise.
So, you don’t have to worry, okay?

HENRY
I’m not worried something is going to
happen to you.

JEN
(not buying it)
No? Then what are you worried about?
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 17.
3/20/18

Henry takes Jen’s hand in his as he closes his eyes.

HENRY
I just don’t want you to be alone.
INT. JEN’S BEDROOM - A LITTLE LATER

Jen ugly sobs under the covers. It’s a big master bedroom and
she seems small in it. She gets up, muffling her crying with
a pillow, as she crosses into the bathroom. She pees, still
crying into a pillow.

INT. JEN’S BEDROOM - A LITTLE LATER

We see Jen go through her nightly rituals:

-She pumps full speed on the Elliptical, drenched in sweat.

-She finishes a work e-mail on her laptop. She types:
“...perfect time to list your house. It’s a seller’s market!”

-She watches an old movie on TV, dressed in her husband’s

pajamas, her wet hair in a towel.

-She looks at her husband’s side of the bed.

-She stares at the ceiling fan spinning. Her bedside clock
reads: 12:06.

Then, at a loss, she takes out Judy's number.

INTERCUT WITH:
INT. JUDY’S BEDROOM - SAME TIME

Judy, wide awake, lays in the dark, watching Oprah’s

SuperSoul Sunday. Her phone rings, she answers and we
intercut the following conversation:
JUDY
Hello?
JEN
Hi... it's Jen... from the grief group.
JUDY
(perks up)
Hiiii.

JEN
Sorry, I don't know why I called you.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 18.
3/20/18

JUDY
It’s okay, I said you could.
JEN
Is it too late?
JUDY
Yeah, I’m totally asleep.
JEN
Me too.
A beat.
JUDY
You in bed?
JEN
Yeah.
JUDY
(suggestively)
What are you wearing?

JEN
(taken aback)
What?

JUDY
What are you wearing?
JEN
My husband's sweatpants and a T-shirt he
got for running a 5K for psoriasis.
JUDY
Slower.
JEN
You're a weird person, Judy.
JUDY
Thank you.
(then)
Did your husband like running? Or did he
just hate psoriasis?

Jen goes silent.

JUDY (CONT’D)
Sorry, you don’t have to talk about him
if you don’t want to.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 19.
3/20/18

A long beat.
JEN
He liked running. But he came to it
later. He started when he was forty --
the Couch To 5K app.

JUDY
What made him start?
JEN
He was getting doughy.
JUDY
Yeah, guys get that middle aged man puff.
JEN
Oh, he was getting a full on beer belly.
But he also getting beer neck.
JUDY
Beer neck!
JEN
I got on him a little, ‘cause he was lazy,
and I was physically repulsed by him --

JUDY
You weren’t.
JEN
(she was)
Okay.

JUDY
Go on.
JEN
So... he started running. Got really into
it. He was training for the Maui marathon.
I was proud of him. He was in the best
shape of his life when the car hit him.

JUDY
I’m so sorry.
JEN
Yeah.
(then, listening)
Are you eating something?
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 20.
3/20/18

JUDY
It’s a donut.
(takes a bite)
And honestly, I feel really good about
it.

INT. JEN’S KITCHEN / JUDY’S BEDROOM - A LITTLE LATER

Jen eats an Entenmann’s donut at her kitchen island, still on
the phone with Judy. The microwave clock reads 12:47.

JEN
...Ted was always a gifted writer, even
then. And he was the only guy in my dorm
who listened to Ani DiFranco.

JUDY
I love Ani.
JEN
She’s not for me, but I liked that about
him.
(beat, then)
I haven’t really talked about him much
since he died.

JUDY
We can stop. I don’t mean to pry --
JEN
No... it’s, um, it’s nice.
INT. JEN’S BEDROOM / JUDY’S BEDROOM - LATER

Jen lays sideways across her bed, still on the phone with
Judy. Her bedside clock reads 2:38.

JEN
Did you get it?
Judy looks at a photo on her phone.

JUDY
Is that him?
JEN
No, that’s my other husband.
JUDY
Oh, you have another one? You’re fine.
JEN
Yeah, but if something happens to him...
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 21.
3/20/18

They laugh.
JEN (CONT’D)
It feels weird to be laughing.
JUDY
I think it’s okay.
JEN
Okay.
JUDY
When do you think it’s okay to masturbate
again?
(then, off Jen’s silence)
Sorry, I don’t have any one else to ask.
JEN
No, yeah, I don’t know the answer to
that.
(then)
Not now? I guess.
JUDY
I’ll google it.
Jen yawns.
JUDY (CONT’D)
(re: yawn)
I heard that. You should ride that wave
and go to sleep.

JEN
No, I wanna see a photo of Steve.
JUDY
I’d have to look.
Jen’s phone dings. Judy sent ten photos.
JUDY (CONT’D)
Found some.
Jen scrolls through the pics. Steve is a cute, clean cut,
well-dressed man. Jen stops on a photo of Steve standing in
front of a beautiful, expensive looking Newport Beach house.

JEN
Is that your house?
JUDY
Yeah.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 22.
3/20/18

JEN
Wow.
(a beat, then)
He’s not what I pictured.
JUDY
Yeah, Steve was a real normal.
Judy gets choked up.

JEN
Handsome though.
JUDY
Yeah. I thought he had a JFK Jr. vibe
when we met.
JEN
Oh, JFK Jr. So hot.
JUDY
So hot.
JEN
Then so sad.
JUDY
So sad. That death seemed like really?
That family hasn’t been through enough?

JEN
Seriously. And you gotta take down the
wife and the sister?

Jen yawns again.

JUDY
You’re tired.
JEN
I think I am. You’re not?
JUDY
Not really, but I’ll let you go.
JEN
No.
(beat)
Would you mind... would you mind just
waiting ‘til I fall asleep?
JUDY
Oh. Okay.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 23.
3/20/18

JEN
Like all the way asleep.
JUDY
Yeah, yeah, of course.
JEN
Thanks.
A beat.
JUDY
Should I keep talk --
JEN
No, because then I won’t be able to fall
asleep.

JUDY
Right.
Judy stays on the phone, as Jen drifts off to sleep.
MONTAGE:

As “Don’t Worry Baby” by The Beach Boys plays, we see:

INT. JEN’S BEDROOM - MORNING

-Jen wakes up with her phone next to her on the pillow.

EXT. LAGUNA BEACH STREET - DAY

-Jen drives, sizing up different houses.

-Jen approaches an OLDER MAN watering his giant lawn. She
hands him her card.

INT. JUDY’S NEWPORT BEACH HOUSE - DAY

-Judy walks out of a huge walk-in closet, smelling one of her

fiancé’s shirts. She lays down on the bed and spoons it.

EXT. LAGUNA BEACH BOARDWALK - THE NEXT DAY

-Judy sits on a bench, alone, eating a salad. A YOUNG MOTHER,

pushing an ADORABLE BABY in a stroller, sits beside her. Judy
makes a silly face at the baby, and it smiles. The young
mother looks at Judy, a little weirded out.

INT. WEED STORE - DAY

-Judy buys a bunch of weed and a can of peanuts.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 24.
3/20/18

EXT. LAGUNA BEACH STREET - DAY

-Jen drives, checking out every car parked on the street.

-Jen pulls over, gets out and walks up to a car with a dented
front bumper. She writes down the license plate number.

INT. LAGUNA ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY - THE NEXT DAY

-Judy nonchalantly hands Abe a can of peanuts. He opens the

lid, peaks inside and smiles.
END MONTAGE.

INT. JEN’S BEDROOM / JUDY’S BEDROOM - A FEW NIGHTS LATER

Jen lies in bed, sipping a glass of wine, on the phone with

Judy, who lights incense on a small table decorated with
crystals, feathers and a deck of Affirmation Cards. Her TV
flickers in the background.

JUDY
Oh my god, yes!
JEN
Right? If I knew it was over, I would
start smoking immediately.

JUDY
Immediately. Smoking is the greatest
thing that slowly kills you.

JEN
The greatest.
A beat.

JUDY
Ooo, Facts of Life is on.
JEN
What channel?
JUDY
376.
Jen grabs the remote and finds the channel.

JEN
I loved this show.
JUDY
Loved it.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 25.
3/20/18

They watch for a moment.

JEN
It’s not holding up.
JUDY
No.
(then)
Wait. I don’t remember. How small was
this school? Was it just the five of
them?

JEN
No, they live in a dorm together and
they’re friends. These very different
girls who would never be friends.

Jen takes a sip of wine.

MATCH CUT TO:

INT. JUDY’S BEDROOM / JEN’S BEDROOM - A FEW NIGHTS LATER

CLOSE ON Judy as she takes a sip of wine. We WIDEN TO REVEAL
she’s now in a fresh pair of pajamas. We intercut with Jen,
who’s in another pair of her husband’s pajamas. They watch a
different episode of “Facts of Life.”

JEN
(re: Facts of Life)
How did I not know this was on every
night? More importantly, why are the other
girls fifteen but Tootie is like nine?

JUDY
(laughs)
I don’t know. But has anyone ever told
you you’re kind of a Blair?

JEN
What?! Fuck you. I’m a Jo.
JUDY
You sure? Cause I’ve known you for like
two weeks, so I feel like I would know.
JEN
I’m a Jo!
JUDY
Okay!
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 26.
3/20/18

JEN
Why? Who are you?
JUDY
I’m a Tootie. It’s layered. How are you a
Jo?

JEN
I’m tough. I’m from Brooklyn.
JUDY
Brooklyn? How did I not know that? You
don’t sound like you’re from Brooklyn.

JEN
I used to have an accent.
JUDY
What’d you sound like?
JEN
Like someone with a Brooklyn accent.
JUDY
Like how?
JEN
(reluctantly does Brooklyn
accent)
Like dis.
JUDY
(laughs)
That’s fantastic.

JEN
(laughs)
I hate you.

INT. HEISLER PARK GAZEBO - DAY

Judy enters with two Starbucks coffees and hands one to Jen.
Jen smiles. They take their seats next to each other in the
circle as Pastor Wayne starts the group.

INT. HENRY’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Jen lays wide awake next to Henry. She checks to make sure
he’s asleep. She pokes him a little. He doesn’t budge.

INT. JEN’S BEDROOM - NEXT NIGHT

Jen gets into bed and dials her phone.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 27.
3/20/18

INT. JEN’S FOYER - A LITTLE LATER

Judy stands at the door holding a bottle of wine in one hand.

She pulls her other arm from behind her back to reveal a
second bottle of wine.

EXT. JEN’S BACKYARD - A LITTLE LATER

Jen and Judy sit at the edge of the pool, drinking wine,
their feet dangling in the water. It’s a bougie backyard, the
kind with an outdoor couch and a guesthouse.

JUDY
(laughs)
Oh wow.

JEN
Yeah. Christopher thinks he means well
but he just consistently says the exact
wrong thing.

JUDY
So you had to throw a decorative end
table at him?

JEN
Yeah. And then he gave me an ultimatum --
grief group or anger management. And I’m
very attached to my anger.

JUDY
I like your anger. I admire it.
JEN
That's because you haven't been on the
receiving end of it.

JUDY
I mean, there may be a healthier way you
can channel it. Like meditation or --
JEN
Please.
JUDY
You didn’t let me finish. Or murder.
JEN
I meditate. In my own way.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 28.
3/20/18

INT. JEN’S VOLVO - MOMENTS LATER

Jen and Judy sit in the car as Caliban’s “Paralyzed” blasts.

Jen screams along to every word.

JEN
YOU FUCKING PRICK/ DROP DEAD/
YOU MAKE ME SICK/
BLEGH/ YOU FUCKING PRICK/
DROP DEAD/
YOU MAKE ME SICK/
GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

Judy is stunned, a little scared and kind of delighted.

INT. JEN’S VOLVO - LATER

Jen and Judy speed down Coast Highway, still listening to
Caliban. Judy is trying, and failing, to get into the music.

EXT. LAGUNA BEACH STREET - A LITTLE LATER

Judy watches as Jen inspects a car with a dent in the front
bumper.

JUDY
Do you do this a lot?
JEN
No, just every time I see a car with a
person-sized dent in the front bumper.

JUDY
(trying not to judge)
Okay.

JEN
The cops keep saying hit and runs are
almost impossible to solve.

JUDY
But you feel like maybe you can find the
person this way?
JEN
No.
Jen writes down the license plate number.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 29.
3/20/18

INT. JEN’S VOLVO - A LITTLE LATER

Jen and Judy have the windows down, Caliban still blasting.
Out the window we see Jen and Christopher’s ad on a bus
bench. Jen gives the ad the finger as she races past it.

JUDY
(shouting over the music)
I have an idea.

EXT. TOP OF THE WORLD STREET - MOMENTS LATER

Jen and Judy stand at the edge of a dramatic scenic cliff.
They both let out primal screams into the valley, as their
screams echo back.

EXT. BEACH - NIGHT

Jen and Judy sit on the sand.

JEN
I haven’t been to the beach at night in
so long.

JUDY
I love it. I really wanted to get a place
on the water. Just a condo. Just to hear
the waves. But Steve wanted a salt water
pool.

JEN
(re: ocean)
What the fuck did he think this was?
JUDY
(laughs)
I know.

Judy pulls out a joint and lights it.

JEN
What are you doing?
JUDY
It’s legal. Relax.
She offers a puff to Jen.

JEN
No, no -- I’m not a drugs person.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 30.
3/20/18

JUDY
It’s not drugs, it’s a plant. It’ll help
you sleep.

Judy hands it to her. Jen reluctantly takes a puff, but she’s

clearly comfortable handling a joint.

JUDY (CONT’D)
You totally smoke pot.
JEN
I did. With Ted, but it’s been years.
JUDY
Well, I’m happy to reacquaint you.
JEN
(re: the pot)
Oh, you feel, like, immediately nice.
JUDY
(laughs)
Yeah.

JEN
Hey. I hope this isn’t weird, but --
JUDY
That’s my line.
JEN
But thank you.
JUDY
For what?
JEN
For just, I don’t know, showing up in my
life. Like a weird little pot fairy. And
for not saying and doing the same stupid
shit that everyone says and does that
makes you feel more alone than you
already do. And for not being repulsed
by... my version of grief.

JUDY
(touched)
Thank you. For the same.
It’s a really nice moment. A friendship sealed.
JUDY (CONT'D)
Wow, one puff and you get all mushy.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 31.
3/20/18

JEN
Alright, alright.
INT. JEN’S CAR / JUDY’S BEDROOM - NEXT NIGHT
The phone rings through Jen’s Bluetooth. We intercut as Judy
picks up.

JUDY
Good evening.
JEN
Good evening.
JUDY
(putting her shoes on)
Shall I head over?
JEN
No, because I’m coming to you.
JUDY
What?
JEN
You’ve been coming to me for weeks.
JUDY
You don’t even know where I live.
Jen looks at her phone. She ZOOMS IN on the photo of Steve
standing in front of their house. The house number is right
behind him.

JEN
Yeah I do.
EXT. NEWPORT BEACH HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Jen pulls up to the matching house. She gets out, a box of
donuts in hand. She knocks on the door. No answer. She knocks
again. The door opens. A man stands there in his robe. Jen
immediately recognizes him. It’s STEVE.

STEVE
Can I help you?
JEN
(floored)
Steve?

STEVE
Yeah.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 32.
3/20/18

JEN
You’re... alive.
STEVE
(confused)
Yeah. It’s eleven-thirty. What is
happening? Do I know you?

JEN
No, but I know Judy.
Jen’s phone rings. She looks. It’s Judy calling.
STEVE
Judy doesn’t live here anymore.
JEN
She doesn’t?
STEVE
Not since we broke up three months ago.
And if you see her, tell her to stop
coming here when I’m at work or I’m gonna
change the locks.

JEN
I’m so -- I’m sorry to bother you.
STEVE
Goodnight.
Steve starts to shut the door. Jen stops him. She takes
something out of her purse and hands it to him.

JEN
Maybe it’s better if she doesn’t know
where you live.
(then)
It’s a seller’s market.
Steve looks at her business card and back at her, not knowing
what to make of any of it.

INT. JUDY’S ROOM - SAME

Judy paces and frantically calls Jen again. Her voicemail

picks up.

JUDY
Jen, I can explain.
(breaking down)
Please call me. I’m so sorry. Please let
me explain.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 33.
3/20/18

INT. HEISLER PARK GAZEBO - THE NEXT DAY

Jen charges in, just as the group takes their seats in the
circle. Jen heads right for Judy.

JEN
What the fuck?
PASTOR WAYNE
What’s going on?
JUDY
Jen, please.
JEN
Why don’t you tell them what’s going on,
Judy?

KYLE
(to Wendy)
I guess Kate and Allie are having
trouble.

JUDY
I can explain.
JEN
What? That you’re an imposter? That
you’re a fucking fraud? That you’ve been
lying to me and to everyone pretending to
be a fucking widow? Or a pre-widow, or
whatever the fuck you wanna call it!

JUDY
Just let me --
JEN
Go ahead.
JUDY
It’s complicated --
JEN
It’s not complicated!
(to group)
Her fiancé isn’t dead! Unless his
fucking ghost answered the door last
night! Because that would be complicated!
But it’s not complicated! It’s pretty
fucking simple -- he’s not fucking dead!

JUDY
Jen, please!
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 34.
3/20/18

JEN
What?! Do you get off pretending you’re
going through what I’m going through? Was
it like some kind of sick game you were
playing with me? With all of us?
Pretending like you lost someone? Making
up a whole fucking story?! What the fuck
is wrong with you?! You don’t belong in
here! You didn’t lose him! He fucking
broke up with you, probably because
you’re a fucking lunatic who lies about
her fiancé being dead!

PASTOR WAYNE
Jen, please -- settle down.
KYLE
Yeah, let her talk.
JEN
I don’t want to let her fucking talk,
Kyle!

YOLANDA
I’d like to hear what Judy has to say.
WENDY
Me too.
Jen sits in a huff.
JUDY
I don’t know what to say --
JEN
(sarcastic)
Well, that was powerful.
Pastor Wayne shoots Jen a look.

JUDY
I’m sorry. Jen, I am so sorry. You have
no idea. I’m sorry to all of you. I
really am. I don’t know why -- I swear I
wasn’t try to pull anything. Or hurt
anyone. I never wanted to hurt anyone.
But it’s true -- Steve is alive. He
didn’t die three months ago, but I did
lose him. Because he broke up with me.

JEN
Well, that’s not the fucking same!
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 35.
3/20/18

JUDY
He broke up with me because he
desperately wanted to have kids, and I
tried. A lot. For years. But I just kept
having miscarriages.

FLASHBACK TO:

INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - NIGHT

MATCH TO the previous flashback: Judy, in a pretty summer
dress, is doubled over, crying next to a nurse.

NURSE
I’m so sorry.
JUDY
(through messy tears)
Thank you.

NURSE
Let’s get you to your room.
As Judy stands up, we see blood on the front of her dress. The
nurse puts an arm around Judy and escorts her down the hall.

BACK TO:

INT. HEISLER PARK GAZEBO - DAY

Everyone is focused on Judy, except for Jen, who can’t bring
herself to look at her.
YOLANDA
Oh, honey.
JUDY
I wasn’t always sure if I wanted to be a
mother, to be honest. But the first time
I got pregnant, it was... I just never
experienced a pure joy like that. I never
felt so close to something. But I
couldn’t... hold on to it. I kept trying.
Kept wanting it to work... but something
inside me just doesn’t. After the fifth
one, Steve was done. He decided maybe if
he found someone younger, or less broken
inside... and none of that matters. I’m
sorry I misrepresented myself. I should
never have come here.
(then)
Jen, I’m so sorry I hurt you -- it’s the
last thing I wanted to do.
(MORE)
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 36.
3/20/18
JUDY (CONT'D)
(breaking down)
I really cherish our friendship. I really
do. I’m so sorry.

Judy rushes out the door, in a trail of tears.

JEN
Jesus Christ.
LINDA
What a terrible story.
JEN
Yeah, if you believe it.
KYLE
What’s wrong with you?
JEN
Me? What about her?
PASTOR WAYNE
She’s in pain and I know you are too, but
that doesn’t make it okay for you to
attack someone like that.

KYLE
(to Jen)
Don’t you guys hang out all the time? How
did you not know any of that? Did you
ever ask her about her life?

JEN
(defensive)
Yeah --

WENDY
You didn’t need to expose her like that.
YOLANDA
You made her feel like she didn’t belong
here. She has every right to sit in this
circle. Poor girl’s had five miscarriages.

LINDA
I really feel for her.
KYLE
Yeah, I mean in a lot of ways, her life
is sadder than... a lot of ours.
JEN
She lied!
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 37.
3/20/18

PASTOR WAYNE
Jen. Everyone’s grief manifests in
different ways. Judy lied. You flew into
a terrifying rage. We’re all doing our
best, and there’s no right way through,
but you have got to start reconciling
that anger inside of you.

Jen seethes.
PASTOR WAYNE (CONT’D)
Don’t let it cause you more grief than
you already have.

A beat as this lands on her.

INT. JEN’S CAR - AFTERNOON

Jen turns on her engine and Caliban starts blaring. She
punches the off button hard and starts to cry.

INT. JUDY’S ROOM - NIGHT

Judy, devastated, smokes a cigarette out the window. She checks
her phone, to see if maybe it’s ringing. It reads: 12:06.

MATCH CUT TO:

INT. JEN’S BEDROOM - LATER

Jen’s phone reads 12:06. She puts it down and turns her TV
on. We hear a scene from “The Facts of Life.”

INT. LAGUNA ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY - THE NEXT MORNING

A NURSE points Jen toward Judy, who is organizing a shelf of
board games. Judy looks at Jen, but can’t make eye contact.

JEN
You could have just told me.
JUDY
Yeah, well I didn’t. I don’t know why. I
just didn’t.

JEN
Well, you have issues.
JUDY
You have no idea.
JEN
I got ‘em too.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 38.
3/20/18

JUDY
You’re allowed.
JEN
So are you. I mean, it’s weird that you
lied about Steve. It’s fucked up. But
maybe it was easier to lie about that than
tell the truth about the other stuff.
JUDY
Maybe.
JEN
I’m sorry I said you didn’t belong there.
JUDY
But I don’t.
JEN
But you do. You’ve lost a lot too.
JUDY
Yeah, but people have miscarriages all
the time. It’s not like actual --

JEN
I think it is. Not if a Republican is
asking, but -- you heard a heartbeat and
you fell in love in that heartbeat.

JUDY
(choking up)
Yeah.

JEN
The whole Steve story might have been
made up but your grief is real.

JUDY
(a beat, as she gets
overwhelmed with emotion)
I should remove myself from here because
this is where I work and I’m snotting on
the carpet.

As Judy heads out toward the hall, Abe approaches her.

ABE
You okay, doll?
Judy manages a smile at Abe as she heads out of the room and
Jen follows.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 39.
3/20/18

INT. JUDY’S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Jen looks around this small, depressing assisted living

facility bedroom.

JEN
This is where you were whenever we talked
on the phone?

JUDY
Yeah. They’ve been letting me stay here
until I find a place. Rooms open up all
the time.

JEN
I bet.
JUDY
Thank you for coming here. I didn’t think
you’d ever talk to me again. You were so
angry.

JEN
Told you you wouldn’t like it.
JUDY
I did not. That was -- you were scary.
JEN
Sorry.
(then, taking in the room)
Look, this might be weird but -- my
guest house is open. It was Ted’s office
but it’s not like he’s using it. I can’t
bring myself to set foot in there. But
you’re welcome to.

JUDY
Welcome to what?
JEN
To come and stay with us.
JUDY
That’s very generous, but you don’t have
to take pity on me just because I’m a
thirty-eight-year-old barren woman
sleeping at an assisted living facility.

JEN
Yeah, I do. Seriously, come.
DEAD TO ME "Pilot" 40.
3/20/18

JUDY
I don’t know.
JEN
It’ll be good. We can cut down our phone
bills.

JUDY
I thought you don’t have room for anyone
else’s sadness.

JEN
I can try to make some.
JUDY
Thank you.
(a beat)
Can I hug you now?
JEN
Yeah, but only because you look like you
need it.

Judy hugs Jen. They stay there a while. It’s warm and sweet.

EXT. NEWPORT BEACH HOUSE - DAY

Jen and Christopher hammer a FOR SALE sign into the lawn of a
house. The front door opens. Steve walks out as we WIDEN TO
REVEAL it’s his house.

INT. STORAGE FACILITY - DAY

Judy opens the garage door to her storage facility. She flips
on the lights and we see the side of a vintage Volkswagen and
shelves filled with boxes and lamps, etc.

She grabs a suitcase from a shelf, pulls some clothes from a

box and packs them into her suitcase. She opens the trunk of
the car and grabs some sneakers and a pair of boots.

She shuts the trunk and walks to the front of the car. She
looks at it and takes a breath. As she stands there, we slowly
PAN OUT to see that she’s looking at a big PERSON-SIZED DENT
in her front bumper. She turns off the light and pulls the
garage door down, as Judy Garland’s “Get Happy” begins to
play. And we...

FADE TO BLACK.

END OF SHOW