What makes a good friend?

Nowadays, modern technology allows us to confront nearly 100 friends on social networks
by simply adding their names to our list of contacts, and if we want to end a "friendship," do
not just delete the name of the person in the list.
Probably like most people, you also agree that it's important to have good friends, but also
to be a friend means more than just clicking on links on your personal computer or
smartphone. What are you looking for for a friend? How can you be a good friend yourself?
Why exactly do you need to enjoy lasting friendship?

1. Show frank interest

True friendship demands devotion. In other words, a good friend feels he has a responsibility
to you and he is sincerely interested in you.
Obviously, devotion must be reciprocal, and this requires efforts and sacrifices from both
sides. Rewards will, however, far exceed any effort! Ask yourself: Am I willing to make myself
available to my friend, to give him my time and resources? Remember, in order to have a
good friend, first you have to be a good friend.

What others are looking for a friend

Like cultivating a garden, building a friendship demands a lot of time and much care. Start by
wanting to be a good friend yourself. Be generous in manifesting affection and personal
interest. And be willing to sacrifice from your time when it is necessary.
Modern society promotes egocentrism rather than altruism. Therefore, it matters a lot when
a person has a sincere interest in you without waiting for anything in return.
2. Strive to communicate truly
True friendship can not flourish without regular communication. So, talk about your
common interests. Listen to what the other person has to say and respect his opinion. Praise
him and encourage him whenever possible.
Sometimes you may need to advise or even correct your friend, which is not always easy.
However, a loyal friend will have the courage to draw attention to a serious mistake and to
give tactful guidance.
What others are looking for a friend
A true friend should be able to express his opinions openly, without being surprised if you
disagree with him.
True friends will tell you the truth - even when they know it will hurt you - because they only
want you good.

3. Strive for realistic expectations

The closer we are to a friend, the more we see the flaws. Our friends are not perfect, just as
we are not. Therefore, we should never expect perfection or even claim perfection from the
people we associate with. It would be better to cherish their virtues and make concessions
about their mistakes.
What others are looking for a friend
Often, we have higher expectations than others than ourselves. If we recognize our own
mistakes and realize the need to be forgiven, we will also be more willing to forgive others.
Accept reality - sooner or later, your friends will be wrong. When problems arise, it is wise to
resolve them quickly and to make efforts to forgive them.

4. Widen your circle of friends

It's true, we have to be selective when we choose our friends. But that does not mean
limiting our choices to people of a certain age or education. If we show interest in people of
all ages, from all cultural backgrounds and from any nationality, we can really enrich our
lives.
What others are looking for a friend
Making friends only of those of your age and the same tastes as yours is like dressing your
favorite color all the time. No matter how much you like that color, at some point you'll get
bored of it.
By expanding my circle of friends, we have the opportunity to mature. We learn to get along
well with people of all ages and all social backgrounds, and helped us to be more sociable
and more adaptable.
What's a friend ?!
It is said that relatives and family can not choose, but friends give ...
Friend - the person someone is tied to by a special affection, based on trust and mutual
esteem, on common ideas or principles. This is just the "dry" definition of "friend". I wish
there was no definition of friendship.
For us, the friend is the one who stretches our hand and we get up when we fall and we can
not get up.
The friend is the one who is willing to share his time with you and the good and the bad.
It's your friend who calls you after you broke up 5 minutes ago.
The friend is the one who forgives us the mistakes and enjoys the beautiful things that
happen to us.
Friends can come anywhere and anytime, just meet people willing to meet you and let
yourself be discovered.
Sometime, a friend told me that "friendship does not exist," that we humans are going to
this state, but now I realize she was not right. We are wrong and we suffer because we
believe that everyone should be our friend, but it is not.
There are simply some people who do not want us, who are far from us, or whose ideal we
can not approach.
True friendship does not take distance, it's physical closeness. You can be friends with
people you have not seen in your life, but who have the feeling that they know you when
the world is, and who know how to be close to your soul.
Have you ever wondered what the word "friend" means? Not in general, but what does it
really mean to you? I'm sure yes! Perhaps for some this notion is quite controversial. In fact,
rarely you can find a true friend, even if you are willing at all corners, of course, each having
a well-established purpose. Trying to explain my "friends" phenomenon over the years, I
made my own definition.

So when I say my friend, my mind automatically characterizes it as: a soul person who knows
how to listen to you, to guide you and to understand you, maybe even to accept you as you
are without having any claim.
Such a person is very much missing from all of us, and our primary guilty are we!
We are often too naive and believe everything we are told, forgetting that not everything
flies eating!
After all the people I've had the pleasure or embarrassment to discuss or to get in touch
with, I came to the conclusion that my friends are of several types, all of them fitting in some
fixed typologies.
Types of friends:
- EYE FRIENDS ONLY: they are the basis of my classification. They are the simplest, the most
innocent or uninterested. I could say that the only relationship between us is based on a
'greeting' and an exchange of words like: 'how are you ?, what has passed since I did not see
you ... etc', the whole conversation being politeness and good sense. They are not steady
friends, just casual, but if you would need a shoulder, they would give it to you.

Hence the definition of the other categories:

- FORMAL FRIENDS: They are embraced by colleagues at school, at work. Here are the
people we come into contact with each day with whom we talk all the time, those who also
occupy most of our time. Even if we talk every day, we drink coffee together, we take lunch,
our relationship is a common one, it does not interfere with that 'intimacy', meaning you do
not really want to tell your secrets, nor is it too indicated. In fact, it can also make you sick if
you're not careful enough to keep your back!
-FAKE FRIENDS: Those who scare me every time. They are doing well with you, trying to look
like 'true friends', always loyal and ready, ready to follow you anywhere (or so we have the
impression), and they really only want to take advantage of it. Or they need some favors and
try to get them all, or they want to destroy your image, your relationship with your loved
one, take advantage of the money and the benefits that you own. This category is born out
of envy, hatred or the desire to demonstrate superiority. So keep an eye on yourself and do
not let yourself be deceived by such people who produce a huge hole in the soul and
sadness!

-TRUE FRIENDS: It's hard to find, but even when you know that you can always have their
support, you're happy to have someone to confess to your life with strange ones. These are
the friends you can 'nose your head' that gives you their unconditional support.
They are the ones who pay big bills on the phone, because when you get into the word you
lose the notion of time! Often we call them sister or brother, although the relationship
between us is not very close to our kinship, so the relationship that we have is completely
special!
There are some kind of lifelong friendships, others are broken because of factors that are
hard to determine (for example, finding your great love makes you forget your friends and
dedicate yourself to the whole new conquest). So be careful! A real friend is hard to find and
I think you can make every day a little time to tell her/him the last gossip!
A friend is not an object in our possession, he is a person who has his needs and needs to be
understood as such. And if he is a true friend, he will surely remain eternally faithful, though
we can share it with others!
Why good friends are so important
A lot of research has been done looking into the benefits of friendship, and the research has
found exactly what you might expect. It turns outthat the better quality relationships you
have; the more likely you are to be happy.
Therefore it’s good for your happiness to be a great friend to someone and to have a group
of good friends supporting you. But it can be hard to pinpoint exactly what makes a good
friend.
Signs of a good friend
Friends will come and go in your life, but more important than how long a friendship lasts, is
that a good friend will love you for who you are.
The way you can tell the sign of a good friend is by looking at the actions they take – big and
small – that show they care.
Some common signs of a good friend include

 someone who will support you no matter what

 someone you can trust and who won’t judge you
 someone who won’t put you down or deliberately hurt your feelings
 someone who is kind and has respect for you
 someone who will love you because they choose to, not because they feel like
they should

 someone whose company you enjoy

 showing loyalty
 being trustworthy and willing to tell you the truth, even when it’s hard
 someone who can laugh when you do
 someone who is willing to stick around when things get tough
 someone who makes you smile
 someone who is there to listen
 someone who will cry when you cry

Tips to Be a Better Friend:

The first step for a good relationship with your friends is to have a good relationship with
yourself. When you are truly self-respecting, you become more enjoyable for others. You
also have more to offer because you are not always overwhelmed by your image and
reputation. You become a better friend because you are not always looking for inspiration.
You're pretty sure of yourself to spend time with your friends because you want not because
you desperately need them. Be quiet, self-acceptance is a life-long process. Step forward
with small steps.
Friendship relationships require a considerable investment of time and energy for two
treasures that no one has in unlimited quantities. Choose the friends you want to be closer
to. Do not worry if you can not include all the knowledge. The deepening of a relationship is
much more important than the large number of guests at the parties you give.
Friends are important from many points of view, that's why true pride takes its life and takes
time. It is your duty to put these relationships on the priority list (both for your sake and for
your friends' sake). Make time to cultivate true friendships.
If you want to work on improving relationships with friends, it removes the fear of being
rejected and taking more risks. Invite your friends to the table. Proposes study subjects. Call
them on your visit. Too often we do not keep in touch with friends. Do not miss the
opportunity: Be the one who gives a phone call to resume connection. Your friends are just
as eager to hear how you are to hear them.
Wear your friends as you would like them to do with you. In other words, if you want to
have friends, be yourself a pride. More concerned with the interest you give to your friends
than you are for them. Be full of life and good will. Be afraid of crying, barking or criticizing
yourself.
Say a good word. Ask how the exam was. Send a flower or a ticket when you know he needs
them most.
Those who listen are a rarity. As you become a good listener, you may need permanent
improvement.
Some suggestions:

     - Wait a minute. Try not to finish the phrases they started. If you surprise yourself by
looking for the answer to your answer before listening to the end, remember to focus on the
one who speaks to you.

     - Show them you're listening. Look them in the eye. Admits when needed.

     - Try to minimize distraction factors.

     - Ask more

     - Take care of the advice you give. Give your opinion when you need it (or when you are
asked) but you do not have the benefit of providing work plans for them. Do not use
expressions like: "What you have to do is ........"
We all need someone we can rely on. If your boyfriend can not stand in front of the gossips
(maybe he is not in the face) be ready to take his defense.
Know that they will do so when it comes to you.

Signs You Might Be a Bad Friend

You project your own negative qualities onto them.
After a while you start assuming that because you think a certain way, your friends and
others do too. For example, if you’re prone to talking about others behind their back then
you’d assume everyone else does the same. Eventually, you begin to blame others and talk
about how they went and did something even though they never did. This gets annoying and
yes, your friends do notice this.
You start criticizing or blaming them for everything.
You feel like nothing is your fault and you’re always right. Everything wrong is because of
them. Then you start letting them know, even non-verbally, how you feel about the
situation. This is how you lose friends.

You only spend time with them when you need something.
When you reach for the phone it’s never to see how they’re doing or to get together and
have fun. There is always a reason to call or text. It becomes so habitual that every time you
call or text, their response is “What do you need?” If that’s a common response you get from
multiple people then you’ve got a clear warning sign.
You evade all responsibility, leaving them to handle it all.
When there’s work to be done or responsibilities that should be divided you just sort of sit in
the back and relax. Teamwork goes out the door because you’d rather be doing something
else (or nothing) than to help out. What’s worse is when you walk away when the going gets
tough. Soon enough, you’ll be the one your friends will be evading.
You never think about how they may feel.
Your words hurt like knives and you might not even know it (or care,) because you have a
disregard for how they may feel. You don’t stop to wonder how your decisions, actions, and
words may affect what your friends think. Sometimes it’s the lack of action that hurts them
most. So many things to be mindful of! Are you losing track?
You have the need to “one-up” them.
Although this doesn’t always mean you’re a bad friend, it shows some flaws in character on
your part. You could begin to wear down the friendship if the other person feels like you
constantly show off or downplay their accomplishments. People have enough insecurities
and self-esteem issues as is. Don’t make them feel the same way around their own friends.
You don’t listen to what they have to say.
Their opinions mean nothing to you and it’s usually drowned out by your own stories. You
fight for time to speak and when they are talking you’re usually tapping your feet impatiently
for your turn to talk. Oh and they know when you’re pretending to listen. Tossing in a
question to make it seem like you care is insincere. What’s worse is when you ask them
something only to interrupt them mid-answer so you can start talking.
You never stick to your word.
Come on. If you say you’ll do something, don’t go back on your word. Punctuality goes into
this too. Don’t be the person who is consistently an hour later than promised.

How to Be a Good Friend

Make sure they’re okay the moment you sense something wrong.
It’s easy to go overboard, but when tactful it can mean the world to them when you show
you’re concerned. Send them a text, a phone call (even better,) or surprise them by showing
up at their front door. Make an excuse to spend time with them. This doesn’t mean you have
to shove advice down their throat. It just means showing you want them to be okay.
Unfortunately, there’s no universal method to being caring without being too pushy.
Instead, you’ve got to figure out what works best and adjust as needed.
Some people are very good at hiding their negative emotions. Hopefully you’ve learned
when they’re wearing a mask. Masks get heavy when you wear them for so long and
sometimes you forget how to take it off. I used to put on a brave face when I was going
through rough times. It sucked but having good friends around who knew when I wasn’t
really okay helped a lot.
Know when to be serious and when to be goofy.
When it’s time to be serious, you get down to business. No goofing off. No cheap attempt at
being funny to avoid the real issues. You may argue from time to time and that’s alright. It’s
natural. Be mature and aim at finding common ground instead of trying to divert the
attention elsewhere.
There are times to be messing around, but it gets tiring for others if you don’t know how or
when to turn it off. If you can’t then how can others trust you enough to share important
things with you?
Go the extra mile when they ask for help.
When they ask for your opinion or help on something that means something. It means they
value what you think. If someone hands you an essay asking for you to help proofread or
revise it then go the extra mile. Bust out a red pen and start marking it up like crazy. Show
them you’re as invested as they are.
This means never half-ass things when it comes to your friends. These are your friends we’re
talking about here. It’s a committed relationship and it sucks when the other person doesn’t
put in effort to help when needed.
Don’t give up on them during their darkest hours.
Going hand in hand with the first point, you don’t give up. If they’re going through really
difficult times then they may begin to close themselves off from you and your other friends.
They’d say no to going out and hide from the world. This annoys some people and eventually
they give up, but good friends keep trying.
Sure, it sucks to be the one trying to pull a friend out of rough times and it does get difficult
to not throw my hands up in the air with frustration, but damn it, I know they’re not going to
be able to get out on their own.
Make them feel wanted.
This means you listen to everything they say intently. You show you like being around them.
Hell, sometimes even say it outright. “You’re an awesome friend,” “It’s not as fun when
you’re not there,” or “I like hanging out with you, you know?” You should be comfortable
enough together to be blunt about it without feeling weird.
Insecurity kicks in even when it shouldn’t. It doesn’t take a lot to show you care and re-
assure them from time to time
Tell them, “I’ve always got your back,” at least once (and mean it.)
Remind them that you’re friends for life by making sure they know you’ll always be there.
This means keeping in touch or being there to cheer them up when they’ve got it rough.
If you’ve never told your closest friends this then make sure you do next time your friends
tell you about a problem they’re hung up on.
Understand and respect boundaries.
Know that you don’t have to be together 24/7. I need my space to recharge and I don’t
always feel like hanging out with others. That doesn’t mean I don’t like them. Good friends
aren’t pushy and don’t get upset because of an occasional “no.” In fact, good friends know
how to pick up right where they left off no matter how long it’s been since they last saw each
other.
Be honest and constructive when needed.
There’s a difference between being conscious of their feelings and letting them ruin
themselves in the long-run. If they’ve developed a bad habit then kindly point it out and
show you’re concerned. They’re picking up smoking? You care about their lungs. Drinking
too much? Let them know you’ve noticed.
For less serious examples, imagine their breath smells and they’re going on a date. Do you
want them to crash and burn later or would you rather let them suffer an ego hit, fix their
act, and get out there in full confidence? If you feel like criticisms are harsh, offer them tips
on how to improve.
Introduce them to others.
Your social circle might be tightly knit, but there’s always room for expansion. Introduce
them to people they don’t know just to show you’re not afraid of being seen with them.
Remember, you want to be proud of being in public with them.
It’s up to them to decide if they want to start hanging out with these new people in the long-
run. In fact, it doesn’t even matter if they do. Fun is what you’re aiming for here.
Jump to the rescue when asked.
We all get in unexpected trouble and it’s good to know people who would jump to your
rescue. My car’s battery died in a parking lot at 3 in the morning last month. I called people I
knew would come to my aid because they were the type to help. Guess who I didn’t bother
calling? Those who I knew would have an excuse.
Don’t bring up uncomfortable subjects they dislike.
This doesn’t mean avoiding subjects that are important and possibly life-changing. I’m
talking about bringing up things that serve no constructive purpose but to annoy them or to
just fill the silence. Which brings me to my next point…
Be okay with gaps in conversation.
Silent gaps will naturally occur in a conversation. Be comfortable with them. Don’t feel like
you absolutely have to fill every single second with a sentence. It’s okay to be comfortable
and just enjoy each other’s company.
Especially as an introvert, I need time to recharge after spending time with a lot of people. I
really enjoy my time, but I need to recharge my batteries on occasion. With that in mind,
learn the real differences between introverts and extroverts. You may have the wrong idea.
Be dependable (punctuality and keeping promises.)
When you say you’ll do something, be a person that sticks to your word. That means being
punctual, not going back on your promises, and ensuring that you’re viewed as a reliable
friend.
Being unreliable will make your friends think twice before asking you for something.
Learn how to apologize.
It takes a lot to admit you did something wrong. Don’t be afraid of admitting to your friends
that you messed up. It happens to the best of us. Someone who can swallow his or her pride
and admit they’re in the wrong is a great friend.
Don’t know how to apologize? Check out this article, courtesy of The Art of Manliness.
Know how to show you’re happy for them.
We all get too caught up in our own lives and forget how to show appreciation. Sure, we
know we care, but it’s difficult for the other person to know you do if you don’t show it.
It’s easy to tell when someone is dishonest. “Wow, I’m so happy for you,” with an non-eager
face isn’t very convincing. Be invested in their successes and show in your facial expressions
that you really are happy.
Keep in touch and make sure you don’t drift apart.
Life goes on and everyone has their own thing to do. Sure, picking up where you left off may
be easy for you, but it’s just as easy to completely lose contact. It takes effort, especially
when there’s a lot of physical distance, to maintain a good friendship. It’s a relationship that
takes both sides to work.
Try It Out
We hope you enjoyed learning about what it means to be a good friend today. Take your
learning to a new level by exploring one or more of the following activities with a friend or
family member:
Make a new friend today! You can never have too many friends, so take the time to get to
know someone new today. It could be a fellow student in your school who you've never
talked to before.
Or it could be someone who just moved in down the street from your house. Or someone
you meet at the library. It could be anyone! Have fun making a new friend today.
You never know when a new friend will enrich your life in ways you never imagined!Do you
have a best friend?
A best friend doesn't have to be better than everyone else. Perhaps you're just closer to a
certain person because you have similar interests or spend the most time with him. Some
people even have several best friends.
Talk with a family member about their best friends. How many best friends do they have?
How long have they been friends? Where did they meet their best friends? Have they always
had the same best friends? Have fun learning about friends that can last a lifetime!Are you a
good friend?
We hope so! It's always possible to be a better friend, though. Today, think about the things
that you do that make you a good friend. Consider the qualities that you look for in your
friends.
Do you exhibit those same qualities? Be honest with yourself and make a list of at least three
things you could do to be an even better friend. Put those three things into practice in the
coming days.
Do you notice a difference in how your friends treat you? Did they notice the changes you
made? Have fun being the best friend you can be!