6 STEP IFS PROCESS TO JUMPSTART HEALING
The The Steps We Use to
6Fs Help Protective Parts
Differentiate from the Self
The first three steps involve helping parts to unblend.
1 Find 2 Focus 3 Flesh
FIND the part in, on or FOCUS on it. FLESH it out.
around the body • Turn your attention inside. • Can you see it? If so, how does
• Who needs your attention right it look?
now? • If not, how do you experience it?
• Where do you notice it? What is that like?
• How close are
you to it?
4 Feel
How do you FEEL toward the part?
This question is our Geiger Counter for Self-energy. Any answer that is not in the ballpark of the
8 C’s (The qualities of Self-energy: Curiosity, calm, clarity, connectedness, confidence, courage,
creativity and compassion) means that a second part is influencing our thoughts. We ask this
second part if it is willing to relax so we can talk to the target part. “If it is not willing to relax,” we
ask it what it needs us to know. This process may lead us to a second (or third, fourth…) target part.
Reactive parts often need to feel heard and validated. We stay with them until they are willing to
let us get to know the target part.
Once they agree, we ask the client, “How do you feel toward the (target) part now?”
5 BeFriend 6 Fear
BeFRIEND the part by finding out more about it. What does this part FEAR ?
The fifth step involves learning about the target part and “What does it want for you?”
developing a friendly relationship. This “What would happen if it stopped doing
builds relationships internally (Self to part)
this job?”
and externally (part to therapist). “How
did it get this job?” “How effective is
the job?” “If it didn’t have to do
this job, what would it rather do?”
“How old is it?” “How old does it
think you are?” “What else does it
want you to know?”
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