Reading: WHAT DO WE MEAN BY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS?

The concept of relationship is very broad and complex. In our model, personal relationships refer to
close connections between people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions. These bonds often
grow from and are strengthened by mutual experiences

Relationships are not static, they are continually evolving, and to fully enjoy and benefit from them we
need skills, information, inspiration, practice, and social support. In our model there are three kinds of
personal relationships:

Family

The concept of "family" is an essential component in any discussion of relationships, but this varies
greatly from person to person. The Bureau of the Census defines family as "two or more persons who
are related by birth, marriage, or adoption and who live together as one household" But many people
have family they don't live with or to whom they are not bonded by love, and the roles of family vary
across cultures as well as throughout your own lifetime. Some typical characteristics of a family are
support, mutual trust, regular interactions, shared beliefs and values, security, and a sense of
community.

Although the concept of "family" is one of the oldest in human nature, its definition has evolved
considerably in the past three decades. Non-traditional family structures and roles can provide as much
comfort and support as traditional forms.

Friends

A friendship can be thought of as a close tie between two people that is often built upon mutual
experiences, shared interests, proximity, and emotional bonding Friends are able to turn to each other
in times of need. Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler, social-network researchers and authors of the
book Connected, find that the average person has about six close ties-though some have more. and
many have only one or none

Note that online friends don't count toward close ties-research indicates that a large online network
isn't nearly as powerful as having a few close, real-life friends

Partnerships

Romantic partnerships, including marriage, are close relationships formed between two people that are
built upon affection, trust, intimacy, and romantic love. We usually experience this kind of relationship
with only one person at a time
Reading: A RESEARCH STUDY ON RELATIONSHIPS

A sample of 1,110 adolescents assessed nine aspects of their relationships with their mother, their
father, their best same-sox friend their most important sibling. and their most important teacher These
aspects were admiration, affection, companionship, conflict, instrumental aid, intimacy, murturance,
reliable allance, and satisfaction with the relationship Early adolescents (11 through 13 years of age)
gave higher ratings than did middle (14 through 16years of age) and late (17 through 10 years of age)
adolescents for all relationships on most attributes. Except for intimacy and nurturance, middle
adolescents' ratings were higher than those of late adolescents but only for some relationships. The
observed trends are interpreted with respect to several social, social cognitive, and cognitive changes
taking place over the span of adolescence.

Reading: WHY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT

Healthy relationships are a vital component of health and wellbeing. There is compelling evidence that
strong relationships contribute to a long, healthy, and happy life Conversely, the health risks from being
alone or isolated in one's life are comparable to the risks associated with cigarette smoking, blood.
Research shows that healthy relationships can help you:

Live longer. A review of 148 studies found that people with strong social relationships are 50% less likely
to die prematurely. Similarly, Dan Buettner's Blue Zones research calculates that committing to a life
partner can add 3 years to life expectancy (Researchers Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler have
found that men's life expectancy benefits from marriage more than women's do.)

Deal with stress. The support offered by a caring friend can provide a buffer against the effects of stress.
In a study of over 100 people, researchers found that people who completed a stressful task
experienced a faster recovery when they were reminded of people with whom they had strong
relationships (Those who were reminded of stressful relationships, on the other hand, experienced even
more stress and higher blood pressure.)

Be healthier. According to research by psychologist Sheldon Cohen, college students who reported
having strong relationships were half as likely to catch a common cold when exposed to the virus. In
addition, 2012 International Gallup poll found that people who feel they have friends and family to
count on are generally more satisfied with their personal health than people who feel isolated. And
hanging out with healthy people increases your own likelihood of health-in their book Connected,
Christakis and Fowler show that non-obese people are more likely to have non-obese friends because
healthy habits spread through our social networks.
Feel richer. A survey by the National Bureau of Economic Research of 5,000 people found that doubling
your group of friends has the same effect on your wellbeing as a 50% increase in income! On the other
hand, low social support is linked to a number of health consequences,such as: Depression. Loneliness
has long been commonly associated with depression, and now research is backing this correlation up: a
2012 study of breast cancer patients found that those with fewer satisfying social connections
experienced higher levels of depression, pain, and fatigue. Decreased immune function. The authors of
the same study also found a correlation between loneliness and immune system dysregulation, meaning
that a lack of social connections can increase your chances of becoming sick Higher blood pressure.
University of Chicago researchers who studied a group of 229 adults over five years found that
loneliness could predict higher blood pressure even years later, indicating that the effects of isolation
have long- lasting consequences.

According to psychiatrists Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz, social alienation is an inevitable result
of contemporary society's preoccupation with materialism and frantic "busy-ness." Their decades of
research support the idea that a lack of relationships can cause multiple problems with physical,
emotional, and spiritual health. The research is clear and devastating: isolation is fatal.

Reading: 25 MOST COMMON RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

Here is the list of the most common relationship problems most often encountered by couples

1 Affairs/infidelity/cheating. This includes emotional infidelity, one-night stands, internet relationships

2. Sexual Issues, particularly loss of libido and including questions around your gender, or your partner's
gender

3. Significant differences in core values and beliefs

4. Life stages - you have 'outgrown' each other or have 'changed" significantly for whatever reason

5. Traumatic and/or Life-Changing Events

6. Responses to prolonged periods of Stress, such as Work-Related Stress, long-term illness, mental
health issues, Financial Problems, problems with the children, infertility and many more

7. Bored in or with Your Relationship 8. Dealing with a jealous partner

9. Having 'blended' family issues

10. Domestic violence, which includes verbal as well as physical abuse: THE most serious relationship
problem.

11. Knowing you should not have got married in the first place!

12. Lack of responsibility regarding finances, children, health and many other issues
13. Unrealistic Expectations- still thinking your partner / spouse is the princess/knight and not seeing
the 'real' human being

14. Addictions-substance abuse

15. Excessive reliance on social media, at the cost of the relationship

16. Lack of support during particularly difficult times from people that matter to you

17. Manipulation or over-involvement in your relationships with family or friends 18. Lack of
communication about important matters 19. Poor division of and / or one-sided lack of responsibility for
chores and tasks. It is not always women who complain about this relationship problem!

20. Perceived lack of concern, care and consideration/attentiveness

... feeling like the relationship is one-sided is a big one! (see: How to deal with a narcissistic partner or
How to 'make' your partner fall in love with you again for a ton of relationship help).

21. Significant personal disappointments and traumas that lead to a change in relationship dynamics
(see: Your partner in jail for help).

22. Long-term depression or other mental health issues suffered by one partner - or both (see: Treating
depression without medication and Signs and symptoms of a nervous breakdown).

23. Significant differences with regards to raising the children See: How Divorce Affects Children and
Children in the Middle for relationship help.

24. Lack of progress in addressing problems

Long-term stress, particularly when not taking responsibility for doing something positive to address the
cause, or learning how to deal with it if it can't be changed (see: Relationship stress).

25. Lack of support during pregnancy

An unsupportive partner during pregnancy and/or significant problems after the birth of your baby, or
lack of support with child-rearing (see: How to recover how a traumatic birth).