DAUGHTERHOOD ‘AULINE RACHEL. PAULINE {es about her, Itis about US. ‘I'm here Paul. I'm standing sight here. came back for this, didn't have to do that You did, No, I didn't. You did, ‘You did have to come back for this Rachel. You did. You said you would, That was the deal, You promised. ‘And actually you know I think back in my head ‘and maybe You know maybe you didn’t promise. I mean it feels like, at some point, there was ‘a conversation in which you got down on one knee and held out your sword tome And said ~I promise. T'll come back and take my turn. But obviously that didn’t happen. Like that ‘But there's something you're missing ‘And Lagree with you, ‘That certain things shouldn’t necessarily fall on certain people. It isn’t fair But they do. Thar’ life And being a daughter means Don't shake your head at me. Do you remember the last time I went on. holiday. When you came and took care of Dad. And I went to Skegness. ELL ut BeBe liked Skegness. Tike the train ride and the chips so what? 1 didn’t have time to lean how to say hi aud thanks and half a pint please. [liked walking on the beach in the morning, In the habit of rising early And so I'd find myself awake at six and it'd be quiet but for the bin men and breakfast didn't start till seven. But this one morning [ woke up even carlicr. Just tossing and tuning. And no point in lying there wasting the day so I get myself up go out dawn to the beach, ‘And there is this giant on it I thought it must have been a shipwreck at firs. But then I notice it moving. Heaving ‘This giant, heaving thing, in the dark. But when I go down to the sand I’sa whale. Bigger than Anything [have ever seen. Taller than me, Could ft at least fifty of me alongside that thing, my neck, T have to crane up to see and itis still Breathing. Huge Heaving breaths, ay my hand on it. think it felt me there with it And [just thought Twould want to know I'm not alone, at a time like that I stand there with may hands om it and then the sun starts coming up and I notice behind it hadn't even seen before but just twenty metres (or so behindoop ‘There’s another one. And then another next to tha ‘And then T see in the water this shape and there’s another one coming too, close now, lose to beaching itself 100 So1 splash in and I'm shouting As if that's gonna making any difference GET BACK GET BACK GET BACK You STUPID THING SAVE YOURSELF Tn the sea up tomy knees like « madwoman trying to push against this hundred-tomne thing And crying. And screaming Asif any good that was gonna do, My weight. Against all ofthat. Four of them stranded on the beac, Sperm whales, they said. ‘was there for hours, ‘Until the dog-walkers and runners came, and then the police, and then Jocal groups, Then the news crews. And then everyone else Tfound I coutdn’s leave, ‘They had these people putting wet towels over them. asked one of them why it happened. How that could happen? When they already seen plain as day that they were gonna die Why would they keep coming? What happened to animal nature? Survival {nstinct? Self preservation’? ‘And she said they don’t know for sure But they have this theory, Whales live in pods. And they talk to each other. Communicate, SIXTEEN 85 ‘Travel all over the world all in these pods, these families, And they think that why it happens is ‘The frst one goes by accident Of course they don’t know they're gonna get into trouble But them they call out to their family Maybe they're saying ‘I’m stuck, don't come any closer, save yourselves!" Maybe they're saying ‘Y'm stuck, help me! Pm stuck, please help!" Maybe it’s ‘Tm Tve found myself somewhere strange and I'm alone and I don’c know what to do, I'm alone.? ‘But whatever itis they're saying the rest of them follow. Ree that gy shot igmilies tee ‘I'm your big sister and 1'4 always want for you to save yourself but sometimes Sometimes Rachel it’s felt to me like a stranding and you've just swam away.BUNK by PAIL PORTER SOPHIE and JONAK. ie AGG ts alove story. This is our rst thing I want to tell you's this cast-iron set of symptosns“Love is whatever ito be. Love is neither dirty nor clean. Thats the thing and this isthe second: Ifyou ever get invited to dissect a rabbits eyGball while tthe same retaking apart an old fstioned Single Lens Relex camera, accept the invitgsiGn, And very soon you'lfSee how the tw ee basically the samecThe cornea, § that’s the front that’s basically the cus. The iris ivthe aperture, JONAH: This is a true st love story. And, Love isn Controlling the ligh-nt comes in, Te lens is thes, ‘Ani the eit the back of 6 ee, tha fi, receiving k¢ image. And sPFcu're like m'you!l find simalaly itereting, wBifch brings yx¢on to my which is that London is a very intéfesting pl -an trust me on this because I'm not from réund here. | } | | | SOPHIE: Okay, s0 when I'm twelve'my gums begin to itch and keep me awake at night. So I tell the dentist and she says my teeth are overcrowded, and she'll take two out to make room, And she gives me a choice between a local, so ancedle, and a general, meaning gas. And I'm scared of needles so I go for the gas, which they don’t do any more, but basically they hold this mask down over your face and you have to breathe'in this stuff And i’s got a kind of rubber taste, like an old rubber ball or something. And 1s you breathe you can hear this buzz getting louder, like a chainsaw getting closer, so fix may eyes on this nurse and watch as she merges into this giant picture of antumn that covers one wall. Then when I wake up P'm okay for ‘second. Uniil this horcible, groggy feeling hits me. And as we leave I throw up this pool of frothy blood on the doorstep. And we get to the car and P'm sick in the car, and wwe get home and I'm sick in the porch, and I’m sick about five times more, and its Pancake Day but P'm too sick for ppancakes, so basically it’s just a really bad experience. But atleast the itching goes away, until two years later when it I 5 19PHIL PORTER comes back, and the dentist says she'll take two more out And aguin I get the choice, and again Igo for gas, only this time Las my dad if, when we get home, I cat have amy bed in the garden. T want tole outside and clean my Junge in the ait. And know it’s mad what Pm askng, Tes not areal xequest, more just an idea. But when we get back ay bed's there on the lawn. And this is The Isle of Men in April, so the weather’s not warm, But there iis, wth an extra blanket, and Winston, my beat, ou the pillow, And there's even a bedside table, with fizzy water and a working Jamp, and F'm telling you this so you understand the kind of man he was, my dad. He made me feel seen. ‘pa small, mud -encrased pair of walls.) Welly SOPHIE: He was a tex lawyer. JONAH: Hand-me-downs from a cousin originally SOPHIE: My mother lives in Malaga. She left when I was two. JONAH: Would fit me now. Says on the sole ‘Size 3°. And my name on the inside in felt tip: Jonah Jenkins, And # you're wondering why they look wor out that’s because they are, and that’s because I grew up on a farm. Or self-sufficient religious commune to be specific. We are The Paytharne Presbyterians. Mz Jenkins is my father and he’s very mach the man in charge. And every morning from six o’dlock hhe reads to us from the Bible til his throat gets sore. If we snooze or fidget, an old man called Mz Fricker whacks ‘cross our knuckles with a long wood spoon. Technology's frowned upon, s0 there's no TV, no toaster, no microwave. Just an old green telephone for emergencies. Food is soup or stew, except on Sundays when we have roasted chicken followed by custard, and every spare minute we werk the farm. So, age five P'm milking cows. Age seven catching rabbits for stew, Then age fifteen my mother Mrs Jenkins dies of pancreatic cancer. Now, i's her that’s dealt with the ‘outside world to now, and that's worked well because the ‘outside world likes my mother. Because she’s warm, unlike 20 BUNK ‘Mrs Dimmock The Unftiendly Whorebag who takes over in her absence. And before long we're getting our windows smashed in at night. And our outbuildings set on fire. ‘Jesus Fucks Arses’ and ‘Jesus Sucks Cock’ sprayed on the wall of the barn in graffiti I's decided we need a nightwatchman, « post for which I volunteer. And from that day forward, ‘each night, from midnight "il six, I keep watch. No stopping for tea. No falling asleep or playing with my privates, Just me and Mr Fricker’s Single Lens Reflex ‘Camera, every night for five years, me peering through the zoom, and I'm telling you this so you come to see how keeping watch, it becomes a kind of habit for me. SOPHIE: So, The Isle Of Man isn't exacily the centre of the universe. I's a place known mosily for cats with no tals and motorbikes. And jobswise it’s kind of limited beyond the financial sector. So when I finish college, Dad retires ‘and buys a house in Best London, in Leytonstone, which is where he grew up, and that’s where we ive. It's actually two separate flats, with me on the first loor and him underneath, with separate front doors and a shared garden, I find a job with a software company called Bunch. We design and sell collaboration and content management solutions for clients in the business market, So, that might be filesharing apps, project management apps, video- conferencing tools, that kind of thing. 'm one of four Client Managers and I look after three main accounts: Souther ‘Irains, Haribo Sweets and an Asian snack ‘manufacturer called Balaji. And while I'm at work, Dad ‘goes out and does stuf. London kind of stuff like matinees of plays, or fee talks at the Royal Society. And thea in the ‘evening we cook in one of our kitchens and we talk. And everything's pretty much perfect until his face turns yellow ‘overnight. And the whites of his eyes go yellow too, and he’s diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. JONAH: Pancreatic cancer’s the first of several coincidences, SOPHIE: He'd smoked for most of his life and that’s what ‘caused it 2Four ‘An hour or so later. The beer garden in The Bear Irn, Maybe a ‘GOODBYE’ or "THANK YOU’ sign somewhere. Maybe balloons, deflated. Cigarene buts, bin bags. LOOPS in her red dress and boots HARRY in a pair of very tight shorts, and a baggy uniform shirt, He holds a bin bag. LOOPS doesn’t look at him much. LOOPS. You don't remember me, I'm not ~ I'm Lou, we met at Ammy Cadets, en years ago— you don't remember, that’s fine ~I don’t ery, uh. Ever. Doctor said I was hard as fuck, so —as a baby — 90, yeah, don’t feel anything, at ell, never have, "cept this one night, with you. You don’t remember, that’s It was lastnight of cadets. Camp. The boys sneak into our dorm, cos the girls want to play this game thing, where you hhave to guess where our nipples are. Guess our nipples and belly buttons. With our pyjamas on, Which is erotic, and challenging, cos we're all different aren't we? Some people have really, like, low, nipples, or whatever ~ And anyway, you're paired with me, cos no one else ~I guess maybe ‘We're getting bullied, you seem upset, you don’t want to do it, you look at the floor, and you just sort of jab your finger at ‘me, and turn to go, but you... You get it. You get me. Bang ‘on, My left one. I think you feel it. And I say ‘wow2a". Like that. Breathy, ‘Wowza." And people cheer, cos — Maybe they're bullying still, bt I don’t care cos it fels real, like in ‘trom-com, and you have this. Smile, I notice it. And then Yyou guess my right one. And you get that too and ~Ts"pose that's easier after the firs, cos you sort of line “cm up, don’t ‘you, { wouldn’t know — and then I nod, and then your hand ‘moves down, to my stomach. And you look me in the eye, for the first time... and I didn’t mind looking in yours, uh. sony... hang on... Uh... ‘Bomb... sound effect...’ No, that’s not yet, sorry. Sorry. Uh... So. She looks back to her notes. LITTLEBIRTH = 29 Oh yeah... s0..: Then, realy gently this time, your hand reaches ~ Your finger just (moves), like that, and, like, slowly éis disappears into me into my stomach, my belly ‘Only up to about there, and with a pyjama, Sheath, Over it~ shouldn't — don’t say sheath — but, it feels like you've reached right in, Your whole hand. And touched something right in the core of ~ Freezing cold in the core of me... and, just fora second... lit it up. And, it’ ike... She makes an explosion sound effect. A moment. ‘And then [ sort of... ran out of room there, but basically, ‘anyway, [know you don’t remember me or anything but 1 was thinking that was the best bit of my life, so far, probably. Tknow itis, I never really realised before. But I've had shit year, and I'm trying to do something, and I've missed you. T've realised I've missed you. And I’m back for a couple of, ‘weeks now ~ Off tour ~ I've been ~ s0 I thought I'd look you up. Today. And see what you were up to. And see if you remembered that too, and whether you might wanna. Have dinner. With ~ Do you like curry? It’s seduced but it's fine Sorry... Sorry ~ HARRY. No. LOOPS. Fuck’s sake ~ HARRY. No, that was... Did you ~ Sorry ~ Did you say Army Cadets? LOOPS. Yeah. HARRY. Yeah, I thought so... Uhm. This is ~I~I don’t know ~ T’m really sory ~I didn’t go to Army Cadets... T've never I'm a pacifist, 0 ~ LOOPS. Ob. HARRY. I went t9, this, like... shitty, like, Blue Peter camp, ‘once? Summer camp, When I was fifteen. For a couple of days. But that was in Droitwich Spa or somewhere —~ LOOPS. Yeah, no, that’s ~ that’s it