MOTTOKROSH MACHINATIONS
A Very Silly
Gothic Horror Scenario
Disclaimer
This adventure deals with extremely worn out tropes and
archetypes. The author in no way endorses
discrimination based on gender, upbringing, or whether
or not you're a brain in a jar, or just a talking animal
trying to make a living.
This adventure is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0
International License, except for the cover art, which is copyright Abigail Larson.
A Bride For
Dracula
Writing, graphic design, & interior art
Frank “Mottokrosh” Reding
Cover art
Abigail Larson
Playtesting
Fan Zhang, Heydon Pickering, and Karen Reding
For an online version of this adventure, interviews with
designers and players, more tables than you can shake a stake at,
a complete and illustrated RPG ruleset, apps, and more, visit:
https://mottokrosh.com
Overview Tone
A Bride for Dracula is a one-shot Keep the descriptions of the
adventure, where player scenes, buildings, and weather
characters take on the role of serious and threatening, but use
prospective brides (or their levity and hyperbole when in
companions, at least) competing comes to the looks and behavior
in a pageant of sorts, for of people. Explicitly point out
Dracula’s favor. suspicious things about them.
This helps hang the comedy on
The scenario is split into two the personas, while keeping the
parts: traveling to and reaching environment tense.
the correct venue, and, once
there, the actual contest.
The contest runs over 3 rounds,
giving the characters ample time
to scope out the place and
possibly get a leg-up on the
The Setup
competition, mingle with guests
and rival contestants, and The scenario starts in medias res,
mayhap engage in some with the characters on their way
wholesome sabotage. Meanwhile, to the festivities, all together in a
the event runs anything but carriage. Until the characters
smoothly, with a number of arrive at the final venue, the
complications making life events are quite linear, but this
interesting. helps get the game and the action
going quickly. Describe the
The adventure is designed to characters traveling at high
work with all your favorite speeds through the looming
fantasy RPGs. Carpathian mountains, through
dark, oppressing forests, and
narrow cliff-hugging paths.
Each contestant must bring a gift
for Dracula. Tell the players this
early on so they have time to
think one up.
6
The Journey
There are a few encounters along the way, before the characters reach
their destination.
1 Howling wolf. The character hear a wolf's bone chilling howl
from up ahead. A huge white wolf blocks the road. If they
approach, the howl turns into a man's cough, and the man
apologizes about his voice—he's literally got a frog in his throat.
And he's in pain because he's got a splinter in his paw. If the
characters help, they might get the werewolf's help in return
later. In his human form, Englund is an older man with a bushy
white beard and hair. He'll be among the guests at Dracula's
event.
2 The first note. The approach to Dracula's castle is over a needle-
thin, vertigo inducing bridge, barely wide enough for the
carriage. The crossing is harrowing, but the carriage doesn't fall
off, otherwise the adventure would be over. Nailed to the giant
entrance doors to the extremely gothic castle is a note: "Dear
guests. We regret to inform you that the contest has been relocated to the
church, due to a rodent problem. —The Dracula Estate."
3 Burnt-out pyre and second note. The church is a little ways
outside of the village, standing on its own as the sole pillar of
light in this dark valley. Except it's really more of a convent or
monastery, with tall, thick walls and high-set, slender windows.
On a hill in the vicinity are the charred remnants of a huge
bonfire, a badly burnt post in the middle reminding the
characters of the power of superstition and the single-
mindedness of mobs. Nailed to the forbidding entrance door is a
note: "Dear guests. We regret to inform you that the contest has been
relocated to the mayor's mansion in the village, due to Dracula's vampire
spawn exploding as soon as they crossed the threshold into our holy
grounds. —The Mother Superior."
4 The gibbet. A cage swings lazily from a crooked pole, next to the
road to the village. The gibbet contains a decomposing corpse; a
handful of crows sadly bickering over the slim pickings.
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The Mayor’s
Mansion
The village is a small collection of Dracula, and sets it aside in a
terrified houses huddling dedicated room, before
together for shelter against the accompanying
darkness and malevolence that them down the
inhabits the surrounding hills corridor into
and valleys. Of interest for this the main
scenario is really only the mayor's hall, where
mansion, a three story half- he loudly
timbered house throwing its announces
corpulent shadow onto the the
village square. You can't miss it, contestant
the whole village is heading to it. by full title
and name.
Greeting contestants and guests
alike at the door is Renfield, a
stout, dark-skinned man with
judging eyes, an expensive suit,
and round spectacles. Renfield
takes prospective brides' gift for
12
Mansion Rooms
1 Main corridor. Leading from the entrance to the main hall. It has
bathrooms, the gift room, and a cloak room branching off it.
2 Main hall. A large, lavishly decorated, and well lit room. A dance
floor bisects it, with tables and chairs filling one end, and a small
stage with a musical string quartet, and another small stage with
an empty wooden throne at the other end. A broad staircase circles
half the room before arriving at a landing that overlooks it. Several
doors lead to adjacent rooms, standing open, with a servant
posted at each. All servants sport impeccable livery but their eyes
are somewhat glazed over.
3 Teeth room. A set of fake ivory fangs with a name plaque for each
contestant is stored here, split among two glass display cases.
These are to be used in the biting round of the contest, and ready
to be sabotaged. Though regardless of what happens to Yvonna's
set, she will just use her own, real fangs for that round, if she's an
NPC.
4 Dancing partners room. Standing completely still here are the
male dance partners for the contestants, for the second round of
the contest. Half of them are glazed-eyed, dominated youths from
the village, the other half are ornate automatons made of metal
and wood. If you wish, throw a flesh golem in. As before, each one
is pre-allocated and has a relevant name plaque.
5 Mayor's sex room. Located either in the attic or deep in the cellar,
this room has a large bed, a wooden pony, and two human sized
bird cages. One of them contains a woman with a papier-mâché
bird beak, a feathered cloak, and not much else. The mayor and the
Mother Superior are likely to be found here—see Complications
below.
6 Other rooms. Fill the place with additional rooms as necessary. To
keep the action focused this author has found it best not to bother
with a map for the place, and simply say "yes" when the players ask
whether the mansion has such and such room.
13
Schedule of
Events
Barring any unforeseen After the
circumstances, this is the order last round,
of events as Renfield envisages it. Dracula
After some initial mingling, retires to
where guests and contestants tally up the
may get to know one another, the scores, and
three rounds of the contest are as announce
follows. Naturally, things are the winner
likely to go horribly wrong. For upon his
one, Dracula has trouble getting return.
into the mansion—see
complication 1.
14
1 Dancing. The contestants are paired up with their dominated
or automaton partners and set loose to impress the count.
Handle this with whatever rolls are appropriate for your
ruleset, taking consideration of what it says the characters are
good or bad at. And don't forget any sabotage that may already
have taken place, obviously.
2 Biting. With the fake ivory fangs, each contestant gets to
choose a male or female "volunteer", and show off the blood-
sucking technique they would employ were they to be made
Dracula's bride immortal. Best handled through roleplaying,
with rolling only for extreme stunts where the outcome is
dubious.
3 Questions and answers. The contestants sit next to the stage
with Dracula's throne. He pulls out his index cards, and asks
away, directing his questions either at individual applicants or
the whole group. Here are some sample questions.
1. This first one could be directed at an NPC contestant like
Elsa or Mina. "Caprese salad or Swedish meatballs?" Of
course Swedish meatballs are heavy in garlic, and thus akin
to wanting him dead.
2. "Where would you take me on honeymoon?"
3. "If you could steal any historical figure's dress for the
wedding, whose would it be? And how would you steal it?"
4. "If you had to pit two candidates or guests against each
other in a duel to the death, who would it be? And who
would win, and why?"
5. "What new source of blood would you recommend, for our
eternity together?" (This might an excellent time for
complication 5.)
15
Complications
Apart from the first one, these complications fit well between official
contest rounds.
1 Delayed entrance. Dracula cannot enter the building without
being explicitly invited by the mayor, who is not in the main hall.
He is in his sex room, bent over the wooden pony, being flogged
by the Mother Superior.
2 Working conditions. An altercation breaks out between the
dancing bear and their handler. The bear claims they can't work
under these conditions and storms out.
3 Tainted blood. A guest cries out that the wine contains blood!
"Only a single drop per glass!" exclaims Dracula. "I have no idea
how that got in there." Yvonna drinks it as a matter of course, and
licks the glass for good measure. Will the other contestants dare
to still drink it?
4 Elsa Van Elseling makes her move. Whether torn and bloodied
after being dragged away from the Q&A, or simply because an
opportunity presented itself, Elsa reveals her true nature to the
surprise of no one, and attempts to assassinate Dracula.
5 The ex. Dracula's previous bride has managed to claw herself out
of the grave she was buried in. Who was in charge of burying her,
and why didn't they do a good job?
6 The horror. The horror Sturmbannführerin Brigitte von
Taubenstein unleashed in a past ritual turns up and seeks bloody
revenge. Use this complication if Brigitte is a player character.
16
Concluding the
Adventure
Feel free to mark down notches when one of the player characters does
well in impressing Dracula throughout the evening. Ultimately though,
in good OSR fashion, there's no predetermined ending for the
adventure, since there is simply no way to predict the players' actions.
Here are but a few suggestions of how it might go.
• Dracula is appalled with all the choices presented to him. He tries
to abscond. Perhaps with the Mother Superior.
• Dracula selects someone other than Yvonna. Naturally, the
succubus flies off the hinges and tries to murder everyone. Good if
your party is salivating for a fight.
• The brain in a jar character is powered by summoned and captured
demons. She enacts her ritual for this, ensnaring the demon within
Dracula, absorbing it and becoming invincible. Meanwhile, the
physical form of Dracula, now without any evil in him, roams the
countryside, ashamed of his deeds.
• It was all a ploy, and the characters (or one of them) were only really
here to kill Dracula.
Did I miss an opportunity for another obvious
punt at a gothic trope? Let me know. I love
gothic literature dearly, and my lampooning
thereof comes from a place of love and
respect. Bite on.
17
The
End?
