Short Film
Setting- police quarters
Production
Chisha (light), Krish, Sugandha.
Properties
3-4 uniforms
1 large map
1 gandhi photo
Nokia 3310
Note stacks
Ash tray
Carry bag
Gun
RJ- Floral shirt, vest, sport shoes
Wife- saree/suit.
Ram and Shyam singh Anmol and Abhishek
Rajkumar Sarthak
Patil Neil
Wife Mehak Joshi
Inspector Devansh
Characters In order of appearance –
1. Petty thief Rajkumar
2. Sub inspector Patil
3. Inspector
4. Mrs. Patil
5. Havaldar ram singh and shyam singh.
Scene starts off black and white. A bag is seen in the hands of Rajkumar as he walks
inside the police room. Suspicious BGM. Suddenly he slips on some water spilled on the
floor and falls on the table. The glass of water spills and water falls on cigarette of patil.
Patil is furious and slaps Rajkumar.
Cut.
New scene.
Patil: Saala ek toh itni mushkil se din mein time milta hai sutta maarne ka, usmein
bhi saala tum jaise log apna ganda sa muh uthake aa jaate ho.
Rajkumar starts crying.
Patil Ro kyun raha hai teri maa marr gayi kya?
Rajkumar Saab mujhe bachalo saab!
Patil Hain? Log yahan aate hain tujh jaise tuche choron se bachne, tujhe kisse
bachna hai ab?
Rajkumar Bhaiya bachalo humein hamare chhote chhote bache hain!
Patil ye baat chori karte huye yaad nahin aate ki chhote bache hain vo kya
sochenge?
Rajkumar Saab bachalo main aapke paer padh raha hun!
Patil Ae hatt. Kya kar raha hai yeh.
Rajkumar Saahb bachalo nahin toh vo mujhe maar denge.
Patil Kaun maardega thoda theek se batyega? ‘
Rajkumar Yeh yeh... yeh bag.
Patil Kya hai iss bag mein dikha.
Patil opens the bag and is shocked to see stacks of notes, gun and a nokia
3310
Patil Arre behnchod kya badha haath maara re tune iss baar! kahan se churaya yeh?
Rajkumar Yahin baahar railway station pe mila. Saahb saahb bachalo mujhe please.
Mujhe jail mein daaldo please.
Patil Aey uth khada ho. Itna badha haath maara hai fir bhi darr raha hai! Aur haan pehle hi
bata raha hun, aadha hissa mera hai.
Rajklumar Saab poora rakh lo par mujhe jail mein bandh kardo.
Patil Abey chutiya hai kya tujhe andar kyun jaana hai?
Rajkumar Arre unhine mujhe dekh liya hai bag ke saath bhaagte hue, mujhe dekhenge
toh goli maar denge ! Pehle hi mera peecha kar rahe the badhi mushkil se bachke aaya hun.
Muche bachalo bhaiya please!
Patil Main isiliye police wala nahin bana ki tujh jaise tuche logon ko protection dun!
Rajkumar Are bhaiya nahin samajh rahe aap mujhe please jee plus security dedo! Main
marr gaya toh aapka kya hoga aapko bhi toh hissa deta hun main.
Patil Abey chutiya hogaya hai Dheere bol. Neta hai kahin ka jee plus security chahiye?
Bhosdike itna paisa haath laga hai aadhe aadhe kar aur nikal.
Rajkumar Mujhe nahin karne aadhe aadhe bhaiya aap poora rakhlo bas mujhe jail mein
daaldo.
Patil Arry par main tujhe jail mein kis binaam pe daalun, tu toh sabut lekar aaya hai mere
paas.
Suddenly nokia phone starts ringing. Patil picks up.
On phone: Kabse intezaar kar raha hun bhosdike kahan hai?
Patil Kaun?
ON phone tera baap bol raha hun, maal lekar intezaar kar raha hun, kahan hai?
Patil Haan Haan aaya bas, par aana kahan hai?
On phone (Someone else) Bhaii bhaii maal chori hogaya
Kyay?? Iska maa ki..... (Cuts)
Rajkumar (crying) Saahb mujhe bachalo yeh mujhe maar daalenge !!
Patil Abeyy tu rona bandh kar do minute.
Rajkumar Aap 100 rupay le lo par mujhe andar kardo bhagwaan ke liye.
Patil Abey Pankaj udaas ki auladd thoda Dheere bol le. Aur tujhe meri aukaat 100
rupay ki lagti hai?
Rajkumar Chalo 200 lelo par mujhe andar kardo!
Inspector enters slow clapping.
Isnpector Waah waah, waah patil! Yeh kya sun raha hun main?
Patil Sir (Salutes) Arey kuch nahin sir yeh aise hi peeya hua hai bakwaas kar raha
hai.
Inspector aisa hai mere baal na aise dhup mein nahin safed huye/jhade. Oye uth naam
kya hai tera?
He pulls RK towards him. As soon as he states his name, a foul smell
comes out of his mouth.
Inspector aaye haaye, patil in jaise logon ke saath uthta baithta hai tu? Ye tera social
circle hai?
Patil embarrassed
Inspector Aur na logon se yeh paisa maarna bandh karde, nahin toh agli baar seedha
suspend hoga. Apni nahin toh vardi ki izzat toh kar.
Patil Sir main paisa nahin maar raha yeh khud mujhe paisa de kar keh raha hai ki
andar karlo!
Patil’s phone rings. He cuts.
In a corner ram’s phone rings.
Ram Hello? Jee bhbhi jee kaisi hain? Hum bhi badhiya hain. Sir toh abhi thoda busy
hain, Acha 1 minute.
(To patil) saaahb aapke liye.
Patil Kya mere liye kya, dikh nahin raha saahb khade hain, case chalu hain?
Ram Arey par unhone zaruri baat karni hai.
Patil Jo bhi hai use kehdo ki patil ke paas ulte seeedhe logon ke liye waqt nahin hai.
Patil cuts the phone and hands it back to ram singh.
Ram and shyam in corner
Ram Aaj toh sir ke lagne waale hain.
Shyam Bhabhi ka phone tha?
Ram hmm.
Shyaam Dekhte hain fir kitni daer mein shuru hoga kalesh.
Ram 3 min zyada se zyada
Inspector Tumhein andar kyun hona hai? Azzadi pasand nahin hai?
Patil Sir yeh koi bag wag chori karke laaya hai aur keh raha hai is bag ke maalik ne
isse dekh liya, ab vo iske peeche padhe hain.
Inspector Ooh toh ye maamla hai. Par tumne koi crime toh kiya nahin toh kis binaam pe
andar daalien tumhe?
Rajkumar Are saab kya baat kar rahe hain. Inse puchie. Pichle hafte maine inhi ki
padosan ki billi chura kar bechi thi aur 25 taka inhein bhi diya tha. Aur use
pehle vo saamne mandir mein pujari ki cycle aur batua bhi churaya tha, uska
bhi inhen 200 rupay diya tha.
Patil is embarrassed.
Aur to aurr 4 anguthi bhi churayi thi pichle hafte, uska bhi 300 rupay inhine
liya tha.
Inspector kya baat hai patil, matlab maine socha nahin tha ki tum 200-300 rupay ke liye
itna gir jaaoge?
Patil Saahb yeh jhuth keh raha hai…..
Inspectorr Toh tum sach batado, agar aisa kuch nahin hai toh yeh ab tak andar kyun
nahin hai?
Patil Sirr vo main tehkikaat kar raha tha...
Inspector acha kahan tak pohchi tehkikaat fir? Kuch toh aage badhi hogi? Ek case to
solve hua hoga?
Wife enters. s
Wife (to ram) Kahan hai.vo?
Ram Vo dekhiye
Patil Arey Nirmala tum...
Wife main tumhein kabse phone mila rahi hun, ram singh ko bhi bola par tum.. haaahhhh,
yeehh , tu phir cigarette pee raha hai? (Hits)
Patil Arey kya kar rahi hi sir khade hain.
Wife haan toh unko bhi toh pata chale ki kya bekaar aadmi ho tum. Saahb ye aadmi din
raat cigarette peeta hai. kalko marr gaya toh iske paapon ki szaa toh mujhe jhelne
padegi.
Inspector aap shaant ho jaiye.
Ram Kya lagta hai aaj patil saab ko chaanta padega?
Shyaam of course bhai, dekhna yeh hai padta kis se hai.
Ram Bhabhi ji aagyi toh sir toh game se out ho gaye.
Wife Shaant kaise ho jaun? Ek toh pata nahin kya imandaari ka bhoot Chadha hua hai ki
kabhi 200-300 se upar ka haath maarta nahin, upar se yeh cigarette pee pee kar apne
fefde aur jala raha hai!
Patil is telling her to shut up.
Saahb se hi seekh le, 1000 se 1 rupay kam nahin lete honge chhote mote case ka bhi
Patil Nirmala chup hoja. Bhagwaan ke liye
Wife Kyun? Sharam aa rahi hai ki saab ke saamne patte khul rahe hain? Saab jaante hain
ek daaru ki bottle mein bik gaya yeh uss din! Ye nahin ki kuch 500-600 nikale taaki
mohalle mein koi izzat ho iski bhi.
Inspector Achha? Ek daaru ki bottle mein bik gaya? Aur kya kya karta hai yeh?
Shyam Le aa gaye sir game mein.
Ram Lagaye 100-100 ki? Mujhe lagta hai sir se chanta padne waala hai.
Shyam Main to ab bhi bhabhi jee ke saath hun.
Ram Inspector saab ke saamne nahin maarengi vo
Shyam Baat toh yeh bhi sahi hai, dekhte hain.
Wife Saab uss din vo samose waala muft mein 4 samose de raha tha aur yeh fir bhi paisa
pakda aaya batao? Sahb hote na toh 8 muft mein laate aur ek tu hai.
Inspector (Sarcasm, thumping on his back) Waah patil kya insaaf ki muhrat banke baithe
ho nahin?
Wife Dekha main bhi yahi kehti hunn
Inspector Chup! Kya samajh rakha hai tum dono ne police ki naukri ko? Dalali?
Shyam Bhai bhabhi ko na padh jaaye chanta kahin
Inspector Karun tum ko andar main? Police ki naukri ka najayaz fayda utha rahe ho!
Ye kaam karne na chhod de bilkul! Bachon ka lihaaz karke iss baar chhod raha
hun agli baar seedhe suspend hoga tu! Kitne paise le chuka hai tu aajtak isse ?
Patil Zyada nahin saahb bas 2-3 hazaar.
Rajkumar Arrey kya baat kar rahe ho bhaiya, kam se kam 6-7 hazaar aapko de chuke
hain hum aaj tak.
Wife Terko badhi ginti aati hai!
Inspector Aee chup! Baahar niklo yahan se! Dobara nazar mat aana nahin toh sahi mein
andar kardunga!
Inspector aur tu patil, yeh bag ke saath saath 8000 jama karega! Samah gaya?
Patil Jee jee saahb.
Inspector Ab lekar dikha ghus agli baar se! Chal nikal! Aur tu chal andar lock up mein!
New scene.
Inspectpr is sitting on chair and is counting money. Picks up nokia 3310 and says
“Hello, bhai thoda dhyaan rakha karo aage se. Waapis ussi jagah pe raat ko rakh dunga, usko
bolna aake le jaaye, aur iss baar laparwahi mat karna, nahin teesri baar nhain dunga.”
