Self-Exploration
It can be empowering and fun to get
to know your body...
Good news! The body you have was perfectly
designed to give and receive pleasure. Furthermore,
you are entitled to experience all the pleasure your
body can provide. This doesn’t mean that learning
to relax and enjoy your body will always come
naturally. Some people find it takes practice to let
go of judgement or anxiety and to simply relax
and enjoy sensation. This may be especially true
if you have experienced body shaming or trauma.
However, the more you can devote protected time
alone to self-exploration, the easier and more
natural it will become.
You may have had the experience of viewing your
body naked. But have you spent time exploring your
body fully with your eyes closed? If not, find some
private time alone to do so. Try lying down, closing
your eyes, and mapping in your mind the topography
of your own body from head to toe. Notice the
rounds, flats, and divots, the furriness, roughness,
and smoothness. Try not to judge or evaluate what
you feel. Just experience your body.
Sexually-charged (or at least “higher energy”)
“erogenous zones” are located all over our bodies.
Your skin is highly sensitive to touch. The most
obvious examples of these are the genitals and chest/
breasts. However, some people feel gently aroused
when their cheeks, lips, or temples are stroked.
Gliding a hand over the inner thighs can be highly
pleasurable for some and not for others. The same is
true for your knees, feet, butt, arms, and other areas.
Cornell
Health
health.cornell.edu
Notice as you explore which areas of your body enjoy
touch today and which do not. Experiment... As you
explore the length of your body, consider varying
pressures, speeds, and techniques (massaging,
rubbing, fingertip tapping, patting with an open-
hand, etc.). See what happens when you add
massage oil or lotion or by adding warmth or cold.
Try increasing or decreasing your rate and depth of
breathing. Notice how even slight alterations affect
your experience of touch. Ask yourself, “what would
feel best to my body in this moment?”
As you explore your body and tune in to the pleasure
of touch, you may notice your genitals responding.
If you have a penis, it may become erect. Similarly, a
vulva may become swollen or engorged and a vagina
may become “wet” (lubricated). Such physiological
responses are automatic (like increasing heart rate or
blood pressure) and may or may not correlate with
actual sexual desire. It’s okay to simply notice.
That said, feel free to include your genitals as part
of your exploration. They’re yours! Whether or not
orgasm is desired, learning how your genitals like
to be touched is helpful information. Try the same
variations in touch, pressure, speed, etc. that you
used elsewhere on your body. Try stimulation with
one hand and then two. What feels good today?
You may find your clitoris or the head of your penis
welcome concentrated touch; you may also feel it’s
“too much.” Every body is unique. And even the same
body may respond differently to touch on different
days. Factors such as sleep, diet, use of alcohol or
other drugs, and level of stress can all impact the
way bodies responds to touch. The point is not for
you to figure out some magical formula for orgasm,
but rather for you to develop an ongoing and loving
relationship with your own body—one in which you
learn to fully-experience pleasurable touch.
If issues or concerns regularly interrupt your self-
exploration, you can talk with your Primary Care
Provider (PCP) to consider/rule out any medical
causes and get connected with appropriate resources
(e.g., specialty counseling). PCP appointments
are medical visits can be scheduled online at
myCornellHealth and by calling 607-255-5155.
health.cornell.edu
10/18/19
