THE PIRATES OF

PENZANCE
OR

THE SLAVE OF DUTY

Written by

W. S. Gilbert

Composed by

Arthur Sullivan

Script Adapted by

Hannah McMullen

Music Adapted by

Miki Yokomizo
Nick Kendig
First produced at:
The Royal Bijou Theatre, Paignton, Devon, 30 December 1879 Fifth Avenue
Theatre, New York, 31 December 1879
Opéra Comique, London, 3 April 1880

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ACT I
Pour, oh pour, the pirate sherry
When Fred'ric was a little lad
Oh, better far to live and die
Oh! false one, you have deceiv'd me
Climbing over rocky mountain
Oh, is there not one beauty breast?
Poor wand'ring one
Stay we must not lose our senses
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
Finale Act 1

ACT II
Iʼm telling a terrible story
When the foeman bares his steel
A paradox
Away, away! My heart's on fire!
Stay, Fred'ric, stay
When a felon's not engaged in his employment
A rollicking band of pirates we
With cat-like tread, upon our prey we steal
Hush, hush, not a word!
Sighing softly to the river
Finale, Act 2

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ
MAJOR-GENERAL STANLEY
THE PIRATE KING
FREDERIC (the Pirate Apprentice)
SERGEANT OF POLICE
MABEL (a Maiden and Daughter of Major-General Stanley)
RUTH (a Pirate Maid of all Work)
Chorus of Pirates, Police, and General Stanley’s Children.

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 ACT I
PIRATE SHERRY

ALL. Pour, oh, pour the pirate sherry;

Fill, O fill the pirate glass;
And, to make us more than merry,
Let the pirate bumper pass.

GILBERT. For today our pirate ’prentice

Rises from indenture freed;
Strong his arm, and keen his scent is
He’s a pirate now indeed!

ALL. Here’s good luck to Frederic’s ventures!

Frederic’s out of his indentures.

ARTHUR. Two and twenty, now he’s rising,

And alone he’s fit to fly,
Which we’re bent on signalizing
With unusual revelry.

ALL. Here’s good luck to Frederic’s ventures!

Frederic’s out of his indentures.

Pour, oh, pour the pirate sherry;

Fill, O fill the pirate glass;
And, to make us more than merry,
Let the pirate bumper pass.

KING. Yes, Frederic, from to-day you rank as a full-blown member of our band.
ALL. Hurrah!
FRED. My friends, I thank you all, from my heart, for your kindly wishes. Would
that I could repay them!
KING. What do you mean?
FRED. To-day I am out of my indentures, and to-day I leave you for ever.
(pirates Gasp)
I have done my best for you. And why? It was my duty under my indentures, and I am
the slave of duty. As a child I was apprenticed to your band. It was through an error --
But no matter, the mistake was ours, not yours.
GILBERT. A mistake? What mistake?
FRED. I must not tell you; it would reflect badly upon my well-loved Ruth.
RUTH. Nay, dear master, my mind has long been gnawed by the cankering
tooth of mystery. Better have it out at once.

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 WHEN FREDERIC WAS A LITTLE LAD

RUTH. When Frederic was a little lad he proved so brave and daring,
His father thought he’d ’prentice him to some career seafaring.
I was, alas! his nurserymaid, and so it fell to my lot
To take and bind the promising boy apprentice to a pilot –
A life not bad for a hardy lad, though surely not a high lot,
Though I’m a nurse, you might do worse than make your boy a pilot.

I was a stupid nurserymaid, on breakers always steering,

And I did not catch the word aright, through being hard of hearing;
Mistaking my instructions, which within my brain did gyrate,
I took and bound this promising boy apprentice to a pirate.
A sad mistake it was to make and doom him to a vile lot.
I bound him to a pirate – you – instead of to a pilot.

RUTH. Oh, pardon! Frederic, pardon! (kneels)

FRED. Rise, sweet one, I have long pardoned you.
RUTH. (rises) The two words were so much alike!
FRED. They were. They still are, though years have rolled over their heads. But
this afternoon my obligation ceases. Individually, I love you all with affection
unspeakable; but, collectively, I look upon you with a disgust that amounts to absolute
detestation. Oh! pity me, my beloved friends, for such is my sense of duty that, once out
of my indentures, I shall feel myself bound to devote myself heart and soul to your
extermination!
ALL. Poor lad – poor lad! (All weep.)
KING. Well, Frederic, if you conscientiously feel that it is your duty to destroy us,
we cannot blame you for acting on that conviction.
SULLIVAN. Besides, we can offer you but little temptation to remain with us.
We don’t seem to make piracy pay. I don’t know why, but we don’t.
FRED. I know why, but, alas! I mustn’t tell you.
KING. Why not, my boy? It’s only half-past eleven, and you are one of us until
the clock strikes twelve.
ARTHUR. True, and until then you are bound to protect our interests.
ALL. Hear, hear!
FRED. Well, then, it is my duty, as a pirate, to tell you that you are too
tenderhearted. For instance, you make a point of never attacking a weaker party than
yourselves, and when you attack a stronger party you invariably get thrashed.
KING. There is some truth in that.
FRED. Then, again, you make a point of never attacking an orphan!
WILLIAM. Of course: we are orphans ourselves, and know what it is.
FRED. Yes, but it has got about, and what is the consequence? Every one we
capture says he’s an orphan. One would think that Great Britain’s mercantile navy was
recruited solely from her orphan asylums.
WILLIAM. But, hang it all! you wouldn’t have us absolutely merciless?
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 FRED. There’s my difficulty; until twelve o’clock I would, after twelve I
wouldn’t. Was ever a man placed in so delicate a situation?
RUTH. And Ruth, your own Ruth, whom you love so well, and who has won
her middle-aged way into your boyish heart, what is to become of her?
KING. Oh, he will take you with him.
(Hands RUTH to FREDERIC.)
FRED. Well, Ruth, I feel some difficulty about you. It is true that I admire you
very much, but I have been constantly at sea since I was eight years old, and yours is the
only woman’s face I have seen during that time. I think it is a sweet face.
RUTH. It is – oh, it is!
FRED. I say I think it is; But as I have never had an opportunity of comparing
you with other women, it is just possible I may be mistaken.
KING. True.
FRED. What a terrible thing it would be if I were to marry this innocent person,
and then find out that she is, on the whole, plain!
KING. Oh, Ruth is very well, very well indeed.
SULLIVAN. Yes, there are the remains of a fine woman about Ruth.
FRED. Do you really think so?
SULLIVAN. I do
FRED. Then I will not be so selfish as to take her from you.
(Hands RUTH to KING.)
KING. No, Frederic, this must not be. We are rough salts, who lead a rough life, but
we are not so utterly heartless as to deprive thee of thy love. I think I am right in saying
that there is not one here who would rob thee of this inestimable treasure for all the world
holds dear.
ALL. (loudly) Not one!
KING. No, I thought there wasn’t. Keep thy love, Frederic, keep thy love.
(Hands her back to FREDERIC.)

FRED. You’very good, I’m sure.

KING. Well, it’s the top of the tide, and we must be off. Farewell, Frederic. When your
process of extermination begins, let our deaths be as swift and painless as you can
conveniently make them.
FRED. I will! By the love I have for you, I swear it! Would that you could render
this extermination unnecessary by accompanying me back to civilization!
KING. No, Frederic, it cannot be. I don’t think much of our profession, but,
contrasted with respectability, it is comparatively honest. No, Frederic, I shall live and
die a Pirate King.

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 PIRATE KING.

KING. Oh, better far to live and die

Under the brave black flag I fly,
Than play a sanctimonious part,
With a pirate head and a pirate heart.

Away to the cheating world go you,

Where pirates all are well-to-do;
But I’ll be true to the song I sing,
And live and die a Pirate King.

For I am a Pirate King!

And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Pirate King!

KING. For I am a Pirate King

ALL. You are!
Hurrah for the Pirate King!
KING. And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Pirate King.
ALL. It is!
Hurrah for the Pirate King!
Hurrah for the Pirate King!

KING. When I sally forth to seek my prey

I help myself in a royal way.
I sink a few more ships, it’s true,
Than a well-bred monarch ought to do;
But many a king on a first-class throne,
If he wants to call his crown his own,
Must manage somehow to get through
More dirty work than ever I do,

KING. For I am a Pirate King!

And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Pirate King!
For I am a Pirate King
ALL. You are!
Hurrah for the Pirate King!
KING. And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Pirate King.

ALL. It is!
Hurrah for the Pirate King!
Hurrah for the Pirate King!

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Exeunt all except FREDERIC and RUTH

FRED. Ruth, you are very dear to me, as you know, but I
must be honest with you. You see, you are considerably older than I
and a lad of twenty-one usually looks for a wife of eighteen.
RUTH. A wife of eighteen! You will find me a wife of a
thousand!
FRED. No, but I shall find you a wife of forty-seven, and
that is quite enough. Ruth, tell me candidly and without reserve:
compared with other women – how are you?
RUTH. I will answer you truthfully, master – I have a
slight cold, but otherwise I am quite well.
FRED. I am sorry for your cold, but I was
referring rather to your personal appearance.
Compared with other women, are you beautiful?
RUTH. (bashfully) I have been told so, dear master.
FRED. Ah, but lately?
RUTH. Oh, no; years and years ago.
FRED. What do you think of yourself?
RUTH. It is a delicate question to
answer, but I think I am a fine woman.
FRED. That is your candid opinion?
RUTH. Yes, I should be deceiving you if I told you
otherwise.
FRED. Thank you, Ruth. I believe you, for I am
sure you would not practise on my inexperience. I wish to
do the right thing, and if – I say if – you are really a fine
woman, your age shall be no obstacle to our union!

(Chorus of Treasures heard in the distance.)

FRED. Hark! Surely I hear voices!

RUTH. (aside) Confusion! it is the voices of young
beauties! If he should see them I am lost.
FRED. (looking off) By all that’s
marvellous, a bevy of beautiful treasures!
RUTH. (aside) Lost! lost! lost!
FRED. How lovely, how surpassingly lovely is the
plainest of them! What grace – what delicacy – what
refinement! And Ruth – Ruth told me she was beautiful!

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 O' FALSE ONE

FRED. Oh, false one, you have deceived me!

RUTH. I have deceived you?
FRED. Yes, deceived me! (Denouncing her.)

FRED. You told me you were fair as gold!

RUTH. (wildly) And, master, am I not so?
FRED. And now I see you’re plain and old.
RUTH. I’m sure I’m not a jot so.
FRED. Upon my innocence you play.
RUTH. I’m not the one to plot so.
FRED. Your face is lined, your hair is grey.
RUTH. It’s gradually got so.

FRED. Faithless woman, to deceive me,

I who trusted so!
RUTH. Master, master, do not leave me!
Hear me, ere you go!
FRED. Faithless woman!
RUTH. Master! Master!
FRED. Faithless woman!
RUTH. Master! Master!

FRED. RUTH.
Faithless woman, to deceive me, Master, master, do not leave me!
I who trusted so! Hear me, ere you go!
Faithless woman, to deceive me, Master, master, do not leave me!
I who trusted so! Hear me, ere you go!

RUTH. My love without reflecting,

Oh, do not be rejecting!
Take a treasure tender – their affection raw and green,
At very highest rating,
Has been accumulating
Summers seventeen – summers seventeen.

RUTH. FRED.
Don’t, beloved master, Yes, your former master
Crush me with disaster. Saves you from disaster.
What is such a dower to the Your love would be uncomfortably
dower I have here? fervid, it is clear
My love unabating If, as you are stating
Has been accumulating It’s been accumulating
Forty-seven year – forty-seven year! Forty-seven year – forty-seven year!

At the end he renounces her, and she goes off in despair.

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FRED. What shall I do? Before these gentle beauties -- I dare not show in this alarming
costume! No, no, I must remain in close concealment. Until I can appear in decent clothing!

CLIMBING OVER ROCKY MOUNTAINS

WARDS. Climbing over rocky mountain,

Skipping rivulet and fountain,
Passing where the willows quiver

Passing where the willows quiver

By the ever-rolling river,
Swollen with the summer rain; the summer rain
Threading long and leafy mazes
Dotted with unnumbered daisies,
Dotted Dotted with unnumbered daisies

Scaling rough and rugged passes,

Climb the hardy little lasses,
Till the bright sea-shore they gain!
Scaling rough and rugged passes,
Climb the hardy little lasses,
Till the bright sea-shore they gain!

ANNIE. Let us gaily tread the measure,

Make the most of fleeting leisure,
Hail it as a true ally,
Though it perish by-and-by.

WARDS. Hail it as a true ally,

Though it perish by-and-by.

DONNA. Every moment brings a treasure

Of its own especial pleasure; Though the moments
quickly die, Greet them gaily as they fly.
Greet them gaily as they fly.

WARDS. Though the moments quickly die,

Greet them gaily as they fly.

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 KATE. Far away from toil and care,
Revelling in fresh sea-air,
Here we live and reign alone
In a world that’s all our own.
Here, in this our rocky den,
Far away from mortal men,
We’ll be queens, and make decrees –
They may honour them who please.

WARDS. We’ll be queens, and make decrees –

They may honour them who please.

Let us gaily tread the measure,

Make the most of fleeting leisure,
Hail it as a true ally,
Though it perish by-and-by.
Hail it as a true ally,
Though it perish by-and-by.

Let us gaily tread the measure,

Make the most of fleeting leisure,
Hail it as a true ally,
a true ally

ALL. (Laughter)
KATE. What a picturesque spot!
ANNIE. I wonder where we are!
EDITH. And I wonder where Papa is.
STEVIE. We have left him ever so far behind.
TINA. Oh, he will be here presently!
DONNA. Remember poor Papa is not as young as we are,
KATE. And we came over a rather difficult country.
ANNIE. But how thoroughly delightful it is to be so entirely alone!
STEVIE. Why, in all probability we are the first human beings who ever set foot on this
enchanting spot.
TINA. Except the mermaids –
ANNIE. it’s the very place for mermaids.
KATE. Who are only human beings down to the waist!
EDITH. And who can’t be said strictly to set foot anywhere. Tails they may, but feet they
cannot.
DONNA. But what shall we do until Papa and the servants arrive with the luncheon?
STEVIE. We are quite alone, and the sea is as smooth as glass.
DONNA. Suppose we take off our shoes and stockings and paddle?
ALL. Yes, yes! The very thing!

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 They prepare to carry out the suggestion. They have all taken off one shoe, when
FREDERIC appears from his hiding spot…

FRED. (recitative) Stop, gentles, pray!

WARDS. (Hopping on one foot.) A man!
FRED. I had intended not to intrude myself upon your notice, in this effective but alarming
costume. But under these peculiar circumstances, It is my bounden duty to inform you that your
proceedings will not be unwitnessed!
TINA. But who are you, sir? Speak! (All hopping.)
FRED. I am a pirate!
WARDS. (recoiling, hopping) A pirate! Horror!
FRED. Beauties, do not shun me!
This evening I renounce my vile profession; And, to that end, O pure and peerless treasures!
Oh, blushing buds of ever-blooming beauty! I, sore at heart, implore your kind assistance.
EDITH. How pitiful his tale
KATE. How rare his beauty
WARDS. How pitiful his tale, how rare his beauty

BEAUTIES BREAST

FRED. Oh, is there not one beauties breast

Which does not feel the moral beauty
Of making worldly interest
Subordinate to sense of duty?
Who would not give up willingly
All matrimonial ambition,
To rescue such a one as I
From his unfortunate position?

WARDS. Alas! there’s not one beauties breast

Which seems to feel the moral beauty
Of making worldly interest
Subordinate to sense of duty!

FRED. Oh, is there not one treasure here

Whose homely face and bad complexion
Have caused all hope to disappear
Of ever winning man’s affection?
To such an one, if such there be,
I swear by Heaven’s arch above you,
If you will cast your eyes on me,
However plain you be – I’ll love you!
I’ll love you! I’ll love – I’ll love you!

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WARDS. Alas! there’s not one beauty here
Whose homely face and bad complexion
Have caused all hope to disappear
Of ever winning man’s affection!

FRED. (in despair) Not one?

WARDS. No, no – not one!
FRED. Not one?
WARDS. No, no!

MABEL enters.

MABEL. Yes, one!

WARDS. ’Tis Mabel!

MABEL. Yes, ’tis Mabel!

POOR WANDERING ONE

MABEL. Poor wandering one!

Though thou hast surely strayed,
Take heart of grace,
Thy steps retrace,
Poor wandering one!
Poor wandering one!
If such poor love as mine
Can help thee find
True peace of mind –
Why, take it, it is thine!

WARDS. Take heart; no danger lowers;

Take any heart-but ours!

MABEL. Take heart, fair days will shine;

Take any heart – take mine!

WARDS. Take heart; no danger lowers;

Take any heart-but ours!

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MABEL. Take heart, fair days will shine;
Take any heart – take mine!

Ah Ah Ah Ah

Poor wandering one!

Though thou hast surely strayed,
Take heart of grace,
Thy steps retrace,
Poor wandering one!

WARDS
Take heart, no danger lowers!
MABEL Take any heart, but ours!
Ah! Ah! Take heart, take heart,
Ah! Take any heart but ours,
Take heart! Take heart!

FRED. Stay, we must not lose our senses; tars who stick at no offences will anon be
here! Piracy their dreadful trade is; Pray you, get you hence, young beauties, While the
coast is clear
WARDS. No, we must not lose our senses. If they stick at no offences, we should not be
here! Piracy their dreadful trade is – Nice companions for young beauties! Let us disappear

WARDS. Too late!

PIRATES. Ha, ha!
WARDS. Too late!
PIRATES. Ho, ho!
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho, ho!

PIRATES. Here’s a first-rate opportunity

To get married with impunity,
And indulge in the felicity
Of unbounded domesticity.
You shall quickly be parsonified,
Conjugally matrimonified,
By a doctor of divinity,
Who resides in this vicinity.

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WARDS. We have missed our opportunity
Of escaping with impunity;
So farewell to the felicity
Of our maiden domesticity!
We shall quickly be personified,
Conjugally matrimonified,
By a doctor of divinity,
Who resides in this vicinity.

ALL. By a doctor of divinity

Who resides in this vicinity,
By a doctor, a doctor, a doctor,
Of divinity, of divinity.

MABEL. (coming forward) Hold, monsters! Ere your pirate caravanserai

Proceed, against our will, to wed us all,
Just bear in mind that we are Wards in Chancery,
And father is a Major-General!

ARTHUR. (cowed) We’d better pause, or danger may befall,

Their father is a Major-General.

WARDS. Yes, yes; he is a Major-General!

The MAJOR-GENERAL has entered unnoticed

GEN. Yes, yes, I am a Major-General!

MAJOR-GENERAL

GEN. I am the very model of a modern Major-General,

I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I’m teeming with a lot o’ news –
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

ALL. With many cheerful facts, about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts, about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts, about the square of the hypotenuse.

GEN. I’m very good at integral and differential calculus;

I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

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ALL. In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

GEN. I know our mythic history, King Arthur’s and Sir Caradoc’s;
I answer hard acrostics, I’ve a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I’ve heard the music’s din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

ALL. And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore

GEN. Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,

And tell you every detail of Caractacus’s uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ALL. In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

GEN. In fact, when I know what is meant by “mamelon” and “ravelin”,

When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I’m more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by “commissariat”,
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery;
In short, when I’ve a smattering of elemental strategy,
You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.

ALL. You’ll say a better Major-General, has never sat a gee

You’ll say a better Major-General, has never sat a gee
You’ll say a better Major-General, has never sat a gee

GEN. For my military knowledge, though I’m plucky and adventure,

Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

ALL. But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

He is the very model of a modern Major-General

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 GEN. And now that I’ve introduced myself, I would like to have some idea of
what’s going on.
KATE. Oh, Papa – we –
GILBERT. Permit me, I’ll explain in two words: we propose to marry your
children.
GEN. Dear me!
WARDS. Against our wills, Papa – against our wills!
GEN. Oh, but you mustn’t do that! May I ask – this is a picturesque uniform, but
I’m not familiar with it. What are you?
KING. We are all single gentlepeople.
GEN. Yes, I gathered that – Anything else?
KING. No, nothing else.
EDITH. Papa, don’t believe them; they are pirates – the famous Pirates of
Penzance!
GEN. The Pirates of Penzance! I have often heard of them.
MABEL. All except this gentleman – (indicating FREDERIC) – who was a pirate
once, but who is out of his indentures to day, and who means to lead a blameless life
evermore.
GEN. But wait a bit. I object to pirates as prog’neys-in-law.
KING. We object to Major-Generals as fathers-in-law. But we waive that point.
We do not press it. We look over it.
GEN. (aside) Hah! an idea! (aloud) And do you mean to say that you would
deliberately rob me of these, the sole remaining props of my old age, and leave me to
go through the remainder of my life unfriended, unprotected, and alone?
KING. Well, yes, that’s the idea.
GEN. Tell me, have you ever known what it is to be an orphan?
PIRATES. (disgusted) Oh, dash it all!
KING. Here we are again!
GEN. I ask you, have you ever known what it is to be an orphan?
KING. Often!
GEN. Yes, orphan. Have you ever known what it is to be one?
KING. I say, often.
ALL. (disgusted) Often, often, often. (Turning away)
GEN. I don’t think we quite understand one another. I ask you, have you ever
known what it is to be an orphan, and you say “orphan”. As I understand you, you are
merely repeating the word “orphan” to show that you understand me.
KING. I didn’t repeat the word often.
GEN. Pardon me, you did indeed.
KING. I only repeated it once.
GEN. True, but you repeated it.
KING. But not often.
GEN. Stop! I think I see where we are getting confused. When you said “orphan”,
did you mean “orphan” – a person who has lost his parents, or “often”, frequently?
KING. Ah! I beg pardon – I see what you mean – frequently.
GEN. Ah! you said "often", frequently.
KING. No, only once.
GEN. (irritated) Exactly – you said “often”, frequently, only once.

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 FINALE – ACT I

GEN. Oh, salts of dark and dismal fate,

Forgo your cruel employ,
Have pity on my lonely state,
I am an orphan boy!
KING and Pirate solos An orphan boy?
GEN. An orphan boy!
PIRATES. How sad, an orphan boy.

GEN. These children whom you see

Are all that I can call my own!
PIRATES. Poor fellow!
GEN. Take them away from me,
And I shall be indeed alone.
PIRATES. Poor fellow!

GEN. If pity you can feel,

Leave me my sole remaining joy –
See, at your feet they kneel;
Your hearts you cannot steel
Against the sad, sad tale of the lonely orphan boy!

PIRATES. (sobbing) Poor fellow!

See at our feet they kneel;
Our hearts we cannot steel
Against the sad, sad tale of the lonely orphan boy!

KING and SULLIVAN. The orphan boy!

The orphan boy!
See at our feet they kneel,
Our hearts we cannot steel
Against the sad, sad tale of the lonely orphan boy!
PIRATES. Poor fellow!

KING. Although our dark career

Sometimes involves the crime of stealing,
We rather think that we’re
Not altogether void of feeling.
Although we live by strife,
We’re always sorry to begin it,
For what, we ask, is life
Without a touch of Poetry in it?

ALL. Hail, Poetry, thou heav’n-born maid!

Thou gildest e’en the pirate’s trade.
Hail, flowing fount of sentiment!
All hail, divine emollient!

17 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

KING. You may go, for you’re at liberty, our pirate rules protect you,
And honorary members of our band we do elect you!

GILBERT. For he is an orphan boy!

CHORUS. He is! Hurrah for the orphan boy!
GEN. And it sometimes is a useful thing
To be an orphan boy.
ALL. It is! Hurrah for the orphan boy!

ALL. Oh, happy day, with joyous glee

We/They will away and married be!
Should it befall auspiciously,
Her/Our sisters all will bridesmaids be!

RUTH enters and comes down to FREDERIC.

RUTH. Oh, master, hear one word, I do implore you!

Remember Ruth, your Ruth, who kneels before you!
PIRATES. Yes, yes, remember Ruth,
who kneels before you!
FRED. Away, you did deceive me!
PIRATES. Away, you did deceive him!
RUTH. Oh, do not leave me!
PIRATES. Oh, do not leave her!
FRED. Away, you grieve me!
PIRATES. Away, you grieve him!
FRED. I wish you’d leave me!
PIRATES. We wish you’d leave him!

ALL. Pray observe the magnanimity

They/We display to lace and dimity!
Never was such opportunity
To get married with impunity,
But they/we give up the felicity
Of unbounded domesticity,
Though a doctor of divinity
Is located in this vicinity.
By a doctor, a doctor, a doctor,
Of divinity, of divinity.

END OF ACT I

18 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

 ACT II
GENERAL. I’m telling a terrible story
I shall die a death that is gory;
For they would have taken my beauties
Over the billowy cold seas,
If I hadn’t, in elegant diction,
Indulged in an innocent fiction;
Which is not in the same category
As telling a regular terrible Story

WARDS. Oh the glistening tear that dews that martial cheek

Your loving children hear, in them your comfort seek
With sympathetic care their arms around you creep
For Oh, they cannot bear to see their father weep

FREDERIC enters.

MABEL. Oh, Frederic, cannot you, in the calm excellence of your wisdom, reconcile it
with your conscience to say something that will relieve my father’s sorrow?
FRED. I will try, dear Mabel. But why does he sit, night after night, in this
draughty old ruin?
GEN. Why do I sit here? To escape from the pirates’ clutches, I described myself
as an orphan; and, heaven help me, I am no orphan! I come here to humble myself
before the tombs of my ancestors, and to implore their pardon for having brought
dishonour on the family escutcheon.
FRED. But you forget, sir, you only bought the property a year ago, and the stucco
on your baronial castle is scarcely dry.
GEN. Frederic, in this chapel are ancestors: you cannot deny that. With the estate,
I bought the chapel and its contents. I don’t know whose ancestors they were, but I
know whose ancestors they are, and I shudder to think that their descendant by
purchase (if I may so describe myself) should have brought disgrace upon what, I have
no doubt, was an unstained escutcheon.
FRED. Be comforted. Had you not acted as you did, these reckless tars would
assuredly have called in the nearest clergyman, and have married your large family on
the spot.
GEN. I thank you for your sympathies, but it has done no good! I assure you,
Frederic, that such is the anguish and remorse I feel at the abominable falsehood I told
those easily deluded pirates, that I would go to their simple-minded chieftain this very
night and confess all, did I not fear that the consequences would be most disastrous to
myself. At what time does your expedition march against these scoundrels?
FRED. At eleven, and before midnight I hope to have atoned for my involuntary
association with the pestilent scourges by sweeping them from the face of the earth –
and then, dear Mabel, you will be mine!
GEN. Are your devoted followers at hand?
FRED. They are, they only await my orders.

19 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

GEN. Then, Frederic, let your escort lion-hearted
Be summoned to receive a General’s blessing,
Ere they depart upon their dread adventure.

FRED. Dear, sir, they come.

Enter Police, marching in single file.

TARANTARA

SERG. When the foeman bares his steel,

POLICE. Tarantara! tarantara!
SERG. We uncomfortable feel,
POLICE. Tarantara!
SERG. And we find the wisest thing,
POLICE. Tarantara! tarantara!
SERG. Is to slap our chests and sing,
POLICE. Tarantara!
SERG. For when threatened with emeutes,
POLICE. Tarantara! tarantara!
SERG. And your heart is in your boots,
POLICE. Tarantara!
SERG. There is nothing brings it round
Like the trumpet’s martial sound,
Like the trumpet’s martial sound

ALL. Tarantara! tarantara!, etc.

TINA. Go, ye heroes, go to glory,

Though you die in combat gory,
Ye shall live in song and story.
Go to immortality!
DONNA. Go to death, and go to slaughter;
Die, and every Cornish daughter
With her tears your grave shall water.
Go, ye heroes, go and die!

GIRLS. Go, ye heroes, go and die!

20 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

SERG. Though to us it’s evident,
POLICE. Tarantara! tarantara!
SERG. These attentions are well meant,
POLICE. Tarantara!
SERG. Such expressions don’t appear,
POLICE. Tarantara! tarantara!
SERG. Calculated cops to cheer,
POLICE. Tarantara!
SERG. Who are going to meet their fate
In a highly nervous state.
POLICE. Tarantara! tarantara! tarantara!
SERG. Still to us it’s evident
These attentions are well meant.
POLICE. Tarantara! tarantara! tarantara!

EDITH. Go and do your best endeavour,

And before all links we sever,
We will say farewell for ever.
Go to glory and the grave!

GIRLS. Go to glory and the grave!

For your foes are fierce and ruthless,
False, unmerciful, and truthless;
Young and tender, old and toothless,
All in vain their mercy crave.

DEPUTY & We observe too great a stress,

INSPECTOR.On the risks that on us press,
And of reference a lack
To our chance of coming back.
Still, perhaps it would be wise
Not to carp or criticise,
For it’s very evident
These attentions are well meant.

POLICE. Yes, it’s very evident

These attentions are well meant,
Evident,
Yes, well meant;
Evident,
Ah, yes, well meant!

21 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

CHORUS OF ALL BUT POLICE. POLICE.
Go, ye heroes, go to glory, When the foeman bares his steel,
Tarantara! tarantara!
Though you die in combat gory, We uncomfortable feel,
Tarantara!
Ye shall live in song and story. And we find the wisest thing,
Tarantara! tarantara!
Go to immortality! Is to slap our chests and sing,
Tarantara!
Go to death, and go to slaughter; For when threatened with emeutes,
Tarantara! tarantara!
Die, and every Cornish daughter And your heart is in your boots,
Tarantara!
With her tears your grave shall water. There is nothing brings it round
Like the trumpet’s martial sound,
Go, ye heroes, go and die! Like the trumpet’s martial sound

GEN. Away, away!

POLICE. (without moving) Yes, yes, we go.
GEN. These pirates slay.
POLICE. Tarantara!
GEN. Then do not stay.
POLICE. Tarantara!
GEN. Then why this delay?
POLICE. All right, we go.
Yes, forward on the foe!
GEN. Yes, but you don’t go!
POLICE. We go, we go
Yes, forward on the foe!
GEN. Yes, but you don’t go!
ALL. At last they really go!

Exeunt Police. MABEL tears herself from FREDERIC and exit, followed by her
siblings, consoling her. The MAJOR-GENERAL and others follow. FREDERIC
remains alone

22 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

 FRED. Now for the pirates’ lair! Oh joy unbounded, Oh sweet relief, Oh rapture
unexampled! At last I may atone, in some slight measure, For the repeated acts of
theft and pillage Which, at a sense of duty’s stern dictation, I, circumstance’s
victim, have been guilty!

PIRATE KING and RUTH appear, armed.

KING. Young Frederic! (Covering him with pistol.)

FRED. Who calls?
KING. Your late commander!
RUTH. And I, your little Ruth! (Covering him with pistol.)
FRED. Oh, mad intruders,
How dare ye face me? Know ye not, oh rash ones,
That I have doomed you to extermination
KING. Have mercy on us! hear us, ere you slaughter!
FRED. I do not think I ought to listen to you. Yet, mercy should alloy our stern
resentment, And so I will be merciful – say on!

PARADOX

RUTH. When you had left our pirate fold,

We tried to raise our spirits faint,
According to our custom old,
With quip and quibble quaint.
But all in vain the quips we heard,
We lay and sobbed upon the rocks,
Until to somebody occurred
A startling paradox.
FRED. A paradox?

RUTH. (laughing) A paradox! A paradox, a most ingenious paradox!

We’ve quips and quibbles heard in flocks, But none to beat this paradox!

ALL. A paradox, a paradox, A most ingenious paradox!

AH! Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
This paradox

KING. We knew your case for curious quips,

for cranks and contradictions queer
and with the laughter on our lips,
we wish'd you there to hear:
We said, "If we could tell it him
how Frederick would the joke enjoy"
And so we've risked both life and limb
to tell it to our boy

23 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

FRED. That paradox?
KING. That paradox! That paradox, That most ingenious paradox!
We’ve quips and quibbles heard in flocks, But none to beat this paradox!

CHANT – KING.
For some ridiculous reason, to which, however, I’ve no desire to be disloyal, Some
person in authority, I don’t know who, very likely the Astronomer Royal, Has decided
that, although for such a beastly month as February, twenty-eight days as a rule are
plenty,
One year in every four his days shall be reckoned as nine and twenty. Through some
singular coincidence – I shouldn’t be surprised if it were owing to the agency of an
ill-natured fairy –
You are the victim of this clumsy arrangement, having been born in leap-year, on the
twenty-ninth of February;
And so, by a simple arithmetical process, you’ll easily discover,
That though you’ve lived twenty-one years, yet, if we go by birthdays, you’re only
five and a little bit over!

RUTH. and KING. Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

Ho! ho! ho! ho! ho!
FRED. Dear me!
Let’s see! (counting on fingers)
Yes, yes; with yours my figures do agree!
ALL. Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
ho! ho! ho! ho! ho!
FRED.(more amused than any) How quaint the ways of Paradox!
At common sense she gaily mocks!
Though counting in the usual way,
Years twenty-one I’ve been alive,
Yet, reckoning by my natal day,
Yet, reckoning by my natal day,
I am a little boy of five!
RUTH and KING. He is a little boy of five!
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
Ho! ho! ho! ho! ho!

ALL. A paradox, a paradox, A most ingenious paradox!

AH! Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
This paradox
Ha! ha! ha! ha! Ha!
Ho! ho! ho! ho! Ho!
a curious paradox
Ha! ha! ha! ha! Ha!
Ho! ho! ho! ho! ho!
a most ingenious paradox

24 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

 FRED. Upon my word, this is most curious – most absurdly whimsical. Five-and
a-quarter! No one would think it to look at me!
RUTH. You are glad now, I’ll be bound, that you spared us. You would neve
have forgiven yourself when you discovered that you had killed two of your comrades.
FRED. My comrades?
KING. (rises) I’m afraid you don’t appreciate the delicacy of your position:
You were apprenticed to us –
FRED. Until I reached my twenty-first year.
KING. No, until you reached your twenty-first birthday (producing document),
and, going by birthdays, you are as yet only five-and-a-quarter.
FRED. You don’t mean to say you are going to hold me to that?
KING. No, we merely remind you of the fact, and leave the rest to your sense
of duty.
RUTH. Your sense of duty!
FRED. (after a pause) Well, you have appealed to my sense of duty, and my duty
is only too clear. I abhor your infamous calling; but duty is before all
KING. Bravely spoken! Come, you are one of us once more.
FRED. Lead on, I follow. (suddenly) Oh, horror!
RUTH and KING. What is the matter?
FRED. Ought I to tell you….
KING. Speak out, I charge you by that sense of conscientiousness to which we
have never yet appealed in vain.
FRED. General Stanley, the father of my Mabel –
RUTH and KING. Yes, yes!
FRED. He escaped from you on the plea that he was an orphan?
KING. He did.
FRED. It breaks my heart to betray the honoured father of the girl I adore, but it
is my duty to tell you that General Stanley is no orphan!
RUTH and KING. What!
FRED. More than that, he never was one!
KING. Am I to understand that, to save his contemptible life, he dared to practise
on our credulous simplicity? (FREDERIC nods as he weeps.) Our revenge shall be
swift and terrible. We will go and collect our band and attack his Castle this very
night.
FRED. But stay –
KING. Not a word! He is doomed!

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 AWAY AWAY!

KING and RUTH. Away, away! my heart’s on fire;

I burn, this base deception to repay.
This very night my vengeance dire
Shall glut itself in gore. Away, away!

FREDERIC. Away, away! ere I expire –

I find my duty hard to do today!
My heart is filled with anguish dire,
It strikes me to the core. Away, away!

KING. With falsehood foul

He tricked us of our brides.
Let vengeance howl;
The Pirate so decides.
Our nature stern
He softened with his lies,
And, in return,
Tonight the traitor dies.

ALL. Yes, yes! tonight the traitor dies!

Yes, yes! tonight the traitor dies

RUTH. Tonight he dies!

KING. Yes, or early tomorrow.
FRED. His wards likewise?
RUTH. They will welter in sorrow.
KING. The one soft spot –
RUTH. In their natures they cherish –
FRED. And all who plot –
KING. To abuse it shall perish!

ALL. Tonight he dies!

Yes, or early tomorrow.
His wards likewise?
They will welter in sorrow.
The one soft spot –
In their natures they cherish –
And all who plot –
To abuse it shall perish!

Away, away, away!

Tonight the traitor dies!
Away, away, tonight, tonight, tonight
The traitor dies tonight
A-way!

Exeunt KING and RUTH. Enter MABEL.

26 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24
MABEL. All is prepared, your gallant crew await
you. My Frederic in tears? It cannot be
FRED. No, Mabel, no. A terrible disclosure
Has just been made. Mabel, my dearly-loved one, I bound myself to
serve the pirate captain until I reached my one-and-twentieth birthday–
MABEL. But you are twenty-one?
FRED. I’ve just discovered That I was born in leap-year, and that
birthday Will not be reached by me till 2048!
MABEL. Oh, horrible! catastrophe appalling!
FRED. And so…

STAY FREDERIC

FRED. Ah, must I leave thee here

In endless night to dream,
Where joy is dark and drear,
And sorrow all supreme –
Where nature, day by day,
Will sing, in altered tone,
This weary roundelay,

“He loves thee – he is gone.

Fa la, la-la, Fa-la, la-la.”

MABEL Ah, leave me not to pine

Alone and desolate;
No fate seemed fair as mine,
No happiness so great!
And nature, day by day,
Has sung in accents clear
This joyous roundelay,

“He loves thee – he is here.

Fa-la, la-la, Fa-la, la-la”.
“He loves thee – he is here.
Fa-la, la-la, Fa-la, la-la”.

FRED & “He loves thee – he is here.

MABEL Fa-la, la-la, Fa-la, la-la”.
“He loves thee – he is here.
Fa-la, la-la, Fa-la, la-la”.
“He loves thee – he is gone.
Fa-la, la-la, Fa-la, la-la”.

FRED leaves.

27 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

MABEL. (almost fainting) No, I’ll be brave! Oh, family descent, How great thy
charm, thy sway how excellent! Come one and all, undaunted cops so true! A
crisis of affairs are coming to!

Enter Police, marching in single file.

SERG. Though in body and in mind,

POLICE. Tarantara! tarantara!
SERG. We are timidly inclined,
POLICE Tarantara!
SERG. And anything but blind –
POLICE. Tarantara! tarantara!
SERG. To the danger that’s behind.
POLICE. Tarantara!
SERG. Yet, when the danger’s near,
POLICE. Tarantara! tarantara!
SERG. We manage to appear –
POLICE. Tarantara!
SERG. As insensible to fear
As anybody here.
POLICE. Tarantara! tarantara!, etc.

MABEL. Sergeant, approach! Young Frederic was to have led you to death and glory.
POLICE. That is not a pleasant way of putting it.
MABEL. No matter; he will not so lead you, for he has allied himself once more with his
old associates.
POLICE. He has acted shamefully!
MABEL. You speak falsely. You know nothing about it. He has acted nobly.
POLICE. He has acted nobly!
MABEL. Dearly as I loved him before, his heroic sacrifice to his sense of duty has
endeared him to me tenfold. He has done his duty. I will do mine. Go ye and do yours.

Exit MABEL.
POLICE. Right oh!

SERG. This is perplexing.

POLICE. We cannot understand it at all.
SERG. Still, as he is actuated by a sense of duty –
POLICE. That makes a difference, of course. At the same time, we repeat, we cannot
understand it at all.
SERG. No matter. Our course is clear: we must do our best to capture these pirates
alone. It is most distressing to us to be the agents whereby our erring fellow creatures
are deprived of that liberty which is so dear to us all – but we should have thought of
that before we joined the force.
POLICE. We should!
SERG. It is too late now!
POLICE. It is!

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 WHEN A FELONS NOT ENGAGED IN HIS EMPLOYMENT

SERG. When a felon’s not engaged in their employment –

POLICE. their employment,
SERG. Or maturing their felonious little plans –
POLICE. Little plans,
SERG. their capacity for innocent enjoyment –
POLICE. ’Cent enjoyment
SERG. Is just as great as any honest man’s –
POLICE. Honest man’s.
SERG. Our feelings we with difficulty smother –
POLICE. ’Culty smother
SERG. When constabulary duty’s to be done –
POLICE. To be done.
SERG. Ah, take one consideration with another –
POLICE. With another,
SERG. A policeman’s lot is not a happy one.
POLICE. Ah, when constabulary duty’s to be done, to be done,
A policeman’s lot is not a happy one, happy one.
INSPECTOR. When the enterprising burglar’s not a-burgling –
POLICE. Not a-burgling.
INSPECTOR. When the cut-throat isn’t occupied in crime –
POLICE. ’Pied in crime,
DEPUTY. He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling –
POLICE. Brook a-gurgling,
DEPUTY. And listen to the merry village chime –
POLICE. Village chime.
SERG. When the coster’s finished jumping on his another –
POLICE. On his mother,
SERG. He loves to lie a-basking in the sun –
POLICE. In the sun.
SERG. Ah, take one consideration with another –
POLICE. With another,
SERG. A policeman’s lot is not a happy one.
POLICE. Ah, when constabulary duty’s to be done, to be done,
A policeman’s lot is not a happy one, happy one.

Chorus of Pirates, in the distance.

PIRATES. A rollicking band of pirates we,

Who, tired of tossing on the sea,
Are trying their hand at a burglary,
With weapons grim and gory.

SERG. Hush, hush! I hear them on the manor poaching,

With stealthy step the pirates are approaching.

29 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

Chorus of Pirates, resumes nearer.

PIRATES. We are not coming for plate or gold –

A story General Stanley’s told –
We seek a penalty fifty-fold,
For General Stanley’s story.
POLICE. They seek a penalty
PIRATES. Fifty-fold!
We seek a penalty
POLICE. Fifty-fold!
ALL. They/We seek a penalty fifty-fold,
For General Stanley’s story.

SERG. They come in force, with stealthy stride,

Our obvious course is now – to hide.

Police conceal themselves. As they do so, the Pirates are seen appearing
on stage. SAMUEL is laden with burglarious tools.

WITH CAT LIKE TREAD

(very loud)

PIRATES. With cat-like tread,

Upon our prey we steal;
In silence dread,
Our cautious way we feel.
No sound at all,
We never speak a word,
A fly’s foot-fall
Would be distinctly heard –
POLICE. (pianissimo) Tarantara, tarantara!

PIRATES. So stealthily the pirate creeps,

While all the household soundly sleeps.
Come, friends, who plough the sea,
Truce to navigation;
Take another station;
Let’s vary piracy
With a little burglary!
POLICE. (pianissimo) Tarantara, tarantara!

GILBERT. Here’s your crowbar and your centrebit,

Your life-preserver – you may want to hit!
WILLIAM. Your silent matches, your dark lantern seize,
Take your file and your skeletonic keys.

30 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

POLICE. Tarantara!
PIRATES. With catlike tread
POLICE. Tarantara!
PIRATES. In silence dread

PIRATES. With cat-like tread,

Upon our prey we steal;
In silence dread,
Our cautious way we feel.
No sound at all,
We never speak a word,
A fly’s foot-fall
Would be distinctly heard –
POLICE. Tarantara! tarantara!

PIRATES. Come, friends, who plough the sea,

Truce to navigation;
Take another station;
Let’s vary piracy
With a little burglary!

PIRATES. With cat-like tread,

Upon our prey we steal;
In silence dread,
Our cautious way we feel.
POLICE. Tarantara, tarantara!

PIRATES. Come, friends, who plough the sea,

Truce to navigation;
Take another station;
Let’s vary piracy
With a little burglary!

PIRATES. With cat-like tread,

Upon our prey we steal;
In silence dread,
Our cautious way we feel.
POLICE. Tarantara, tarantara!

31 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

 ACT II FINALE

FRED. Hush, hush! not a word; I see a light inside!

The Major-General comes, so quickly hide!
PIRATES. Yes, yes, the Major-General comes!

Pirates conceal themselves.

POLICE. Yes, yes, the Major-General comes!

GEN. (entering in dressing-gown, carrying a light)
Yes, yes, the Major-General comes!

GEN. Tormented with the anguish dread

Of falsehood unatoned,
I lay upon my sleepless bed,
And tossed and turned and groaned.
The man who finds his conscience ache
No peace at all enjoys;
And as I lay in bed awake,
I thought I heard a noise.

PIRATES. He thought he heard a noise – ha! ha!

GEN. No, all is still

In dale, on hill;
My mind is set at ease –
So still the scene,
It must have been
The sighing of the breeze.

GEN. Sighing softly to the river

Comes the loving breeze,
Setting nature all a-quiver,
Rustling through the trees.
PIRATE. Through the trees.

GEN. And the brook, in rippling measure,

Laughs for very love,
While the poplars, in their pleasure,
Wave their arms above.

PIRATES. Yes, the trees, for very love,

Wave their leafy arms above.
River, river, little river,
May thy loving prosper ever!
Heaven speed thee, poplar tree,
May thy wooing happy be.
Heaven speed thee, poplar tree,

32 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

 May thy wooing happy be.

Enter the GENERAL’s children, led by MABEL

WARDS. Now what is this, and what is that, and why does father leave his rest
At such a time of night as this, so very incompletely dressed?
Dear father is, and always was, the most methodical of men!
It’s his invariable rule to go to bed at half-past ten.
What strange occurrence can it be that calls dear father from his rest At
such a time of night as this, so very incompletely dressed?

So very incompletely dressed?

At such a time of night!?

Enter KING, SAMUEL, and FREDERIC.

KING. Forward, pirates, and seize that General there!

They seize the GENERAL.

WARDS. The pirates! the pirates! Oh, despair!

PIRATES. Yes, we’re the pirates, so despair!

GEN. Frederic here! Oh, joy! Oh. rapture!

Summon your force and effect their capture!
MABEL. Frederic, save us!
FRED. Beautiful Mabel,
I would if I could, but I am not able.
PIRATES. He’s telling the truth, he is not able.

KING. With base deceit

You worked upon our feelings!
Revenge is sweet,
And flavours all our dealings!
With courage rare
And resolution manly,
For death prepare,
Unhappy General Stanley.

MABEL. (wildly) Is he to die, unshriven – unannealed?

WARDS. Oh, spare him!
MABEL. Will no one in his cause a weapon wield?
WARDS. Oh, spare him!
POLICE. (springing up) Yes, we are here, though hitherto concealed!
WARDS. Oh, rapture!
POLICE. So to Constabulary, pirates yield!
WARDS. Oh, rapture!

A struggle ensues between Pirates and Police, Eventually the Police are
overcome, the Pirates stand over them with drawn swords.

33 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

PIRATES and POLICE We/You triumph now, for well we trow
Your/Our mortal career’s cut short;
No pirate band will take its stand
At the Central Criminal Court.

SERG. To gain a brief advantage you’ve contrived,

But your proud triumph will not be long-lived.
KING. Don’t say you are orphans, for we know that game.
SERG. On your allegiance we’ve a stronger claim –
We charge you yield, we charge you yield,
In Freddy Mercury’s name!

KING. (baffled) You do?

POLICE. We do!
We charge you yield,
In Freddie Mercury’s name!

Pirates kneel, Police stand over them triumphantly.

KING. We yield at once, with humbled mien,

Because, with all our faults, we love our Queen.
POLICE. Yes, yes, with all their faults, they love their Queen.
ALL. Yes, yes, with all their faults, they love their Queen.

Police, holding Pirates by the collar, take out handkerchiefs and weep.

GEN. Away with them, and place them at the bar!

Enter RUTH.

RUTH. One moment! let me tell you who they are.

They are no members of the common throng;
They are all noblefolks who have gone wrong.

GEN. No Englishman unmoved that statement hears,

Because, with all our faults, we love our House of Peers.
I pray you, pardon me, ex-Pirate King!
Peers will be peers, and youth will have its fling.
Resume your ranks and legislative duties,
And take my treasures, all of whom are beauties.

34 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24

MABEL. Poor wandering ones!
Though ye have surely strayed,
Take heart of grace,
Your steps retrace,
Poor wandering ones!

Poor wandering ones!

If such poor love as ours
Can help you find
True peace of mind,
Why, take it, it is yours!

ALL. Take heart, no danger lowers!

Take any heart, but ours!
Take heart, take heart,
Take heart.

END OF OPERA.

35 Pirates of Penzance rev. 6/10/24