ACT Two SCENE ONE (THE BLUFF. Beoutifl music ls, Arc thee FIONA comes sing on, alt ie [Maria in "The Sound of Masi”. SHE i making erway Snow Whitest hough the {forest marelng atthe nature that surrounds her) FIONA GOOD MORNING BIRDS. 2 (OH WHAT A LOVELY Dat DONKEY THE SUN'S 90 BIG, BUT REALLY -THATS OKAY, AULALONE WITH THINGS TO DO ad SO MANY PLANS TO MAKE PVE HAD SpxcUPS ONE 1'VE ALWAYS BEEN A MORNING PERSON. [A MORNING GIRL™-HOORAY! ERD APAL, y LENDAR'S OF (A BLUE BIRD appears on nearby branch) BLUEBIRD Ccuner, CHEER, crrzen CREP! CCHEEE, CHEER, CEEn, CHEER: 1HCT HAPPY BN FIONA S How 1rsHOUe (omies and waltzes ver) HOO-CO-RAAAAY! |a . = 66 = Suen THe Musreat | BLUEBIRD tits bck, mimicking her te) ‘clita CisRER, CHEER, CHP: | user, cine, came CimEP FIONA | ings ate calenge) 00.00.00 RAAAAY te RLUEBIRD. i lows, going higher) | core, creer caer, CHEEPE | hse CHEER CHEE? CHER. (ovejye FIONA sings nude nd higher, ling he lst horse ote) HONA | 1100-00-00-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. | (he br rebis,ees ule stars to shake and conus wile Fon als her ne. “Ana the bird explodes in a POPI of tle Bue fathers. FIONA ts startled at irs, ut | the shrugs an notices a deer bling on some berries. SHE fits veto it and sings) ings) (GOOD MORNING, DEER SAY HAVE YOU HEARD, ‘TODAY'S MY WEDDING DAY. HAVEN'T MET MY HUSBAND YET, [BUT PM HOPEFUL ANYWAY, YLLWEARACOWN WE'LL HAVE A BALL [AND DANCE POREVER MORE. dancing withthe sear dor) HELLTAKE MEIN HIS MASSIVE ARMS [AND SPIN ME ROUND THE FLOOR. [PVE ALWAYS BEEN A MORNING PERSON! [AMORNING GIRL~ ~ FLSunex Tne Musreat - 67 (SHE tits te deer ight ofa lif. Oops, Haig scidentally ripped of his antl, SHE ditches then) (e10Na) Hooke. | (A rat suri ost Ff stage if ight. Ha, Se'nrgued. Another at f Fieve. Hien Then he PIED PIPER comes spying om paying hi pp. He ots if) Wy, good moring Ped Pipes PIED PIPER ‘Bah what's so god about cant gst tee stp 8 flow me FIONA [think you may naed to change your tune, Mister, PIED PIPER (SHE takes pipe frm him) Hy! Look here, lady — her nate. (FIONA plays the flute expertly ofcourse. The PIED PIPER watches i dsb he teu stge is suddenly swarmed by alne of rats. Fiona is delighted bythe dancing vermin sings) ig tsp break betwee ant he rats | ‘Atone point, FIONA motions to the curt, wick lowers magically. 1 iss back up ‘and the stoge i filled with man-sized vats in hats and tals. FIONA dence with hem, ‘The PIED PIPER might be abit freaked out by stick ‘But FIONA teaches the Piper the correc une, HE cates on and So he to is dancing with he rt, | SHREK and DONKEY have wandered on. THEY watch ll hs insanity, completly 903. | ‘The PIED PIPER lads the ats out cer the flowing...) FIONA |A BRAND NEW START, A PALETTE CLEANSE. AS FRESH AS LIME SORBET, LAST NIGHT IWAS A MONSTER BUT THIS MORNING... “THIS MORNING. ‘THIS MORNING... YMoKayt “THIS MORNING IM OKAY!sunex Tae MusieaL (GHE has her ares outstretched, soaking up the sun and he slovicus morning) (f10NA) (finaly sees dem) (Oh, why good moming, men, DONKEY (atl concerned for ber) Mornin SHREK ‘Un princess, did you by any chance eat a fev of those funny hile mushrooms Py the team? FIONA Ofcourse not. Ym just happy that's a neve day, full of promise and fresh starts! (SHREK and DONKEY exchange looks.) FIONA ‘And the first thing I'd lke to doi apologize for my behavior yesterday. We “bviously got off onthe wrong foot, and like to make it up t you. SHREK You would? FIONA ‘Yes, you did rescue me after al, So ve gatered basket of beri forthe tip, and 1 made you each a day chain! (presents them ith their daisy chains) DONKEY CObtook at these! Theyre besa, princess! Aren't they beautiful Sheek? SHREK (ro ure what to do witht) ‘bhi. FIONA (re: flowers) YYu'l grow to love“em, I promise, Lead the way (GHE ships of. SHREK dumps his daisy chain im the pit, “THEY travel over the flowing scene.)s ams by tart! tip and Sunex Tae Musseae SHREK So, Princes, do you often Srl with rats? FIONA ‘And what if do? SHREK (ks, I don’t know, Princess germ-infested vermin—not exactly what I expected, FIONA ‘Well maybe you showldn’t judge people before you get to know them. omnes knowingly, and walks of) DONKEY impressed) Heat FIONA ‘So tell me about my groom-to-be. Lord Farquaad. What's he lke? SHREK (with smite to Donkey) ‘Well let me put it this way, Princess—men of Fargusad’ stature are in short supply FIONA impressed) Really? DONKEY (lke, joins in) ‘Oh yeah, bute ia He intimidating, FIONA (oes it) Will he must be! SHREK [And yet very good at sal talk FIONA What are you guys doing? SHREK ‘What? Just saying ya might wanna lower your expectations a bit.- 0 - suace Tee Musieat DONKEY “Yat ike thre feet oF $0 (THEY laugh) FIONA ‘vgh,yockitup. Doe‘ othe me. Noto. After aliine of vrery ings are finally BORNE MY W2Y- SHREK (ected) Oh alifetime of misery right. Olay, THEY contin oslo. FIONA can't theese) FIONA ‘You chuckled SHREK Hm? FIONA ‘When {sid lifetime of misery. You chucked SHREK pia FIONA Yes SHREK ‘ook, sure ws very ifiulliving na dragon-guared ONS FIONA was. SHREK FIONA Alsight then, (SHE tars toy) SHREK anhough it mastve bem eto ave rot and cory Which is Jove than bad when Tet home FIONA ‘You're not actualy comparing yourself to what endured?: Sunee Tae Musreat a1 SHREK 1m just saying you don't comer the market on unhappy childhoods FIONA (more dfensioe thc he intends) ‘There are things you don’t know, ya know. About me. About how rough I had it \ SHREK ‘What, ya run out of shampoo a couple times? FIONA {mean abot my let SHREK In that cushy tower of yours? FIONA Cushy! Are you kidding? (sing) THAD NOTHING IN THAT TOWER, FIGHTING BOREDOM BY THE HOUR PRINCESS LONELY, WALKING CIRCLES. IAD ONLY. BARE ESSENTIALS ARMY OOT, A HOT PLATE AND A CHAMBER FOE, AND [EVERY MORNING 1 WOULD BOIL, NO CHOICE, 1HAD NO TOILET. JUST A VIEW OF DEVASTATION ‘OUTONE WINDOW, ISOLATION IN MY BEDROOM, AND VERY LITTLE HEAD-ROOM. TWENTY YEARS ISAT AND WAITED. PM VERY DEDICATED. (ON THE WALLS THE DAYS WERE ADDED, LUCKILY THOSE WALES WERE PADDED! 80.Sunex TRE Musicat (PIONA) THINK 1GOT YOU BEAT. {THINK 1 GOT YOU BEAT, YEAR. YEAH, YEAH. THINK 1 GOT YOU BEAT. ERNK 1GOT YOU BEAT SHREK 4 Ch ya think so? That as a sd story bet [PVE HEARD BETTER, JUST SAIN" [AFOREFFOKT, THANKS FOR PLAYIN. ‘SAD TOSEE A PRINCESS SUFFER, [BUT IHAD IT ROUGHER I LIKE THAT TIME A MO’ WITEL TORCHES BURNED MY BRITCHES, SEE THESCORCHES? i YOURE JUST WHINY IHIAD AFLAMING HEINEY! i [AS FLED HAD TO WONDER, f {FL WERE TORN ASUNDER [WOULD AN OGRE GO TO HEAVEN? [DID I MENTION I WAS SEVEN? 90. THINK GOT YOU BEAT. {THINK LGOT YOU BEAT, YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. THINK § GOT YOU BEAT, THINK LGOT YOU BEAT, NOWA Anos oe ovay,t en Mast Haha BARE Hort EVER Noe ust, NM AND, ont wa,Suaee Tae Mustcat = FIONA suiReK NoWARW REGARDS. No cHsTAS CARDS Asp ERY Day, | a WAS HELL ON FARTHEDAY Otay, top thi (ng) Intsst9 MY FRO sovouo apes SENT Maw Tras no BTA FIONA (ints esp rosa sent away on Citas Fe suneK (tg he adhe) ait FIONA sunex Metal 2AKE ESSRNTIAIS-ARMY COT A Nowa RCAROS TOT PLATE AND ACHIAMDER POT AND EVERY MORNING WOULD BOIL Nocrmsmascanos NOCHOICE HAD NO TOMET SA VIEW OF DEVASTATION AND VERY Day | uroxewibow, 1soLATION Was Ht ON ARTEEDAY "Ni sepRoon © ANDER UTTLR Hap s00x "DwENTY YEARS SAT AND WAITED sub a enon rv DEDICATED MY DAD AND MOM OTHE WALLS THE DANS WERE ADDED, Sen ME "ea ogee wNe PADSEDY Fraser eon ‘wry yeast masse wr Pron DAD AND MOM MYDAD AND MoM oe SENT ME aaSunex Tae Musrcat ; (comm Ha, THEY ger Be ome) xe t FIONA. SHREK fen » \ so. THINK 1 GOT YOU BEAT. | THINK 1 GOT YOU BEAT. {hn 1COT#0U BEX Yn 120 YOU REA rane / ven non awe wean rnwan vans ur \ ‘ ‘YEAH. NYANY vest, | mmaieor you mat, Trine icorsou 8 ww {aN !oo" YOU BEAT ve TOU BEAT vent ey vat, rans \ vent tote | vas fi | va THINK 1 GOT YOU BEAT. THINK I GOT YOU BEAT. fared 1 THINK 1 GOT YOU BEAT THINK 1 GOT YOU BEAT “toot ‘YEAH! ‘YEAH! PAR ‘YEAH! ‘YEAH YEAH vat vate ; vat vat vent vain vn vate vat a [sneering so mach frit we se Coney vo ‘ogni vo ‘An well better out than in Talay 835 (tam is she gong ent? FIONA considers, he ese ip out ere) ‘sfogganaaart**