Mark Shaw

Copywriting
Successful writing for design,
advertising, and marketing
Second Edition

Laurence King Publishing

Writing for retailing
and products

Large-scale retailing is fast-paced and furious.

Time is of the essence and new promotions can be
required every week, in multiple forms. Clear,
positive interaction with the shopper is the key to
success, and this requires strict control and careful
management of customer messages. The challenge
is knowing who you are writing for and what
their mindset is—essentially they are looking for
something and you are making it easier for them
to find it. In this environment people vote with their
feet—all you have to do is keep them on your side.
Every retailer has a personality, brand characteristics,
and product lines, so if your writing reflects these
you’ll be creating maximum customer interest. Products
are the lifeblood of retailing and good product copy
is essential—get this right and you’ll be boosting
the success of the product and the store.
 Writing for retailing and products

This tone-of-voice guide for

Wishes, part of UK Cancer
Research, is fresh, appealing,
and easy to understand, and
best of all it doesn’t just say
what the copy style is, it
demonstrates it in the process.

What is retailing about?

Like any other business, retailing is about making profits, in this case by
selling products to customers who visit your premises or website. The more
you sell, the bigger your profit. Whatever retail format is used, the retailer
wants the customer to come back as often as possible. The better the
relationship created with the customer, the more products the retailer will
sell. Every relationship thrives on good communications, and your objective
as copywriter is to present the core messages in a way that fosters strong
customer rapport.
Products play an active role in the communications chain by attracting
the customer’s eye and promoting their benefits in the most appealing way.

The hierarchy of retail communication

Dividing the mass of retail briefs into categories
or types is a good way to break down the task
of writing and to profile the customer accurately
at every step. 3.
Promotional messages
The categories are: offering alternatives,
additional items, and
discounts
2.
Welcoming and
1. directional messages
External messages helping them to locate
giving customers reasons their section
to visit the store

5.
Back-of-pack
4. messages persuading
Front-of-pack
them to buy into the
messages presenting
brand more
the product’s benefits
to them
 Writing for retailing and products

Turning a passive fascia

into active advertising, this
innovative approach presents
compelling messages to the
external customers as well as
flagging up the brand cues.

Your messages should help create a sense of place

Retailing is a simple process. Stores invite the public onto the premises and
serve their needs as well as they possibly can. It’s a fundamental relationship.
The problem is that the customers are free to go wherever they like. Retailers
don’t expect 100 percent market share, but they do need regular and repeat
custom. While many struggle and fail, the retailer who understands the
marketplace in detail and depth, and works hard to give customers exactly
what they want, in the way they like it best—whether it’s bargain deals or
“In the 1960s, if you luxury goods—will succeed.
introduced a new product Retail design is highly sophisticated, bursting with graphic displays, marketing
to America, 90 percent promotions, and eye-catching products—all carrying messages as part of the
of the people who viewed mission to “delight the customer” and “exceed expectations.” Most retailers
it for the first time believed use some form of copy to attract more people into their store, to sell more of
in the corporate promise. certain items, and to encourage them to spend more than they were planning
Then 40 years later if to. Satisfied shoppers will be inclined to return to the places they like and make
you performed the same repeat purchases. If you’re writing retail copy your objective is to help create a
exercise less than 10 strong sense of place, of belonging, comfort, and familiarity that the shopper
percent of the public will recognize, enjoy, and feel at home with.
believed it was true. Whether within a local or specialist store run by a friendly shopkeeper or
The fracturing of trust for chains of larger stores, messages that guide or inform the customer and
is based on the fact that show the retailer’s personality greatly enhance the service provided by sales
the consumer has been assistants. Shoppers don’t always want direct assistance, but will absorb the
let down.” written messages posted around them as they browse, and will get to know the
Howard Schultz, retailer and the products better. This helps to build a strong relationship with the
founder of Starbucks customers—it’s your role to pitch the message to them in the right tone of voice.

It’s not just about each message, it’s the in-store “clutter” too
Writing individual customer messages, from promotional offers to in-store
advertisements, from directional signage to customer service promises, is not
too difficult in itself. These could be identifying different parts of the store (men’s,
children’s, outdoor, bargains, etc.), highlighting where to pay, or explaining a
price offer next to a product line. These messages usually require short, plain,
and simple copy (the sort that you feel anyone could write, but that actually
requires a great deal of effort to perfect).
 Writing for retailing and products

This type of writing is all about the best use of one or two words. For
example, is there a better way to say “3 for 2”? Should the message be “Buy
two get one free!” or “Three for the price of two!” or “Save 33% when you buy
three!” and how do we explain the rule that it’s the lowest-priced item that is
the free one? Is there a better way of saying “Cheapest item free”? Do
customers now know what BOGOF (buy one get one free) means, and can we
just slap BOGOF next to a product line? Not only are these surprisingly knotty
problems to tackle, but a lot of senior people, all with ideas of their own, will
have to sign off the copy. This is less about creative writing, and more about
the best—and most appropriate—use of language. Your role is to control the
language used to ensure that it remains on-brand and is also as succinct and
clear as possible. You would probably recommend “3 for 2 (cheapest item is
free),” sacrificing your urge to create something wonderful and unique to the
cause of impact and maximum take-up.
After all of the sweat and tears that can go into creating and signing off a
new promotional line, you can be caught out by the “clutter” of in-store customer
messages. Visit a branch of any major retailer and you could find promotions
from last month still on display, next to this month’s. You could find homemade
promotions displayed next to your national campaign (store managers like to
do it their way), bits of other promotions mixed in with yours, or bits taken off
(store staff can do a lot with the bits of display material they receive from head
office). You may also find supplier-funded promotions clashing with all of this,
confused even more by the directional signage. In a sea of cardboard, most
messages will become soggy and drown.
These issues are all to do with proper and efficient store management,
together with central control of the messages being created. The way in which the
head office and stores communicate with each other is also a vital component.
All of this is out of your hands. As the writer, all you can do is try to be aware of
this bigger picture at all times, and to ensure that while the individual promotions
may fight for space, they do not clash with or compete against each other.
Many supermarkets and warehouse-style retailers work to a system or
hierarchy (in the form of a basic grid or table that categorizes customer messages
into three or four types and prescribes how each will be written) that arranges
their messages into clear levels and categories, with strict rules that have to
be maintained. This is sometimes referred to as a brand matrix. This is very
restricting, and can be extremely frustrating for you, because your writing will
come out looking the same as everyone else’s and you will have no room to
think laterally. However, it does ensure that the overall effect of the myriad
messages will not overpower the customer.

In-store messages can achieve the following:

6.
4. give them rewards in
create and hold the form of discounted
their interest prices or offers
2.
welcome the customers
as they come in

1.
help to set the scene from 5.
the external viewpoint direct them around
the store
3.
promise them 7.
good deals encourage them
to return, soon
 Writing for retailing and products

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 Writing for retailing and products

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“My love of writing came to
me at college by chance.”
Interview: Meredith Mathews, Half Price Books
Meredith is the in-house copywriter at Half Price Books, based
in Dallas, Texas, the largest second-hand book dealer in the US.
She won the Retail Advertising Conference award in 2007 from
the Retail Advertising and Marketing Association for her retail
merchandising campaign, which is based around strategically
located signs featuring carefully targeted messages relating to the
products on their shelves.

I work mainly as a copywriter, but look after in stores observing our customers’ behavior—
some design elements, such as the way messages we observed where they went when they came
are set out and the colors we use for signage. into the store, which is why messages are right on
The creative side of copywriting drew me to the shelf next to their books. This research gave
advertising after university. I found so much in us this new information, which led to the creation
it: the business angle, the graphic design of the new campaign.
element, the need to write in an artful way, With retail signage, customers do not look
but in a different form to pure poetry. above eye-level. All of our messages were
I do write personally; I like to explore core positioned at eye-level, and we made each one
words and their definitions. I always wanted to specific to the genre, with lines such as “Is the
know where words come from and like the process suspense killing you? Sell us your thrillers.” and
of copywriting. Some find it painful, but for me “All better now? Sell us your self-help books.”
it is a free-flowing experience. When I’m looking The campaign tagline was “Let go.”
at a brief I usually find a phrase, word, or idea We ensured that the campaign featured
pops into my head. I prefer typing because I can pure copy by setting each on a single-color
write faster and keep up with my thoughts more background without any imagery. It was a tough
easily. I am constantly editing copy for Half Price job to convince the creative director not to include
Books, and I write a lot of it too. At every reread any imagery or photographs—these things usually
I edit the copy to make it as concise as possible. feature a photoshoot of people with books. We
The concept might come out quite quickly, but used four colors only, and we found that it was
the best lines are crafted in the editing process. most successful when positioned at eye-level and
Half Price Books is our retail business, and when the copy just spoke a simple message.
Texas Bookman is our wholesale business. Writing We presented just the one creative idea to
for Texas Bookman requires a shift in style into the marketing team. There was some resistance
business-to-business language. The copy still draws because it was a new approach not to use imagery,
on the same emotions and techniques, but takes and was felt to be less of a hard sell, because
a gearshift in terms of the brand personality. the message was “sell us your books.” We argued
We are experimenting with the voice to make it that we have to give the customer credit that
different from Half Price Books. they’ll understand.
Our “Love, cherish and let go” campaign was Another award-winning campaign was our
very exciting. Half Price Books buys as well as sells “Banned Books Awareness” promotion. The lines
second-hand books, but found the majority of used were deeper than the boss thought customers
customers weren’t selling books back. The brief could grasp, but everyone liked them. They felt
was to get them to start selling too. During the rewarded when they read lines such as “Banned
campaign—featuring lines such as “Already been Books Week. Celebrate the freedom to read with
where no man has gone before? Sell your sci-fi one of these hot books.” and “Side Effects of
books.”—the guys in the stores were overwhelmed. Reading Banned Books may include laughing,
People who had never sold back before were crying, questioning, anger, gratitude, and learning.”
bringing boxes and boxes. The operations end My advice to young writers is to listen to
of the business was delighted with the response! your own voice even when working for a client—
I worked on the campaign with a senior art it may have been the spark that got you the job
director, who also works in-house. We spent time in the first place.
Interview: Dan Germain, Innocent Drinks
Dan used to be an English teacher, and always enjoyed writing. He
was always a “bit of a show-off ” and found writing to be a good way
of expressing himself. He joined his friends, the three founders of
Innocent Drinks, as their fourth employee and has been looking after
the tone of voice and copywriting for this fresh and exciting brand
ever since. The messages on their packs have been a key part of their
success, so what exactly is Dan up to and how does he do it?

I tend to work a lot with Richard, my creative with nothing much that we couldn’t have decided
partner and one of the three founders. We’re in five minutes.
old friends, so we’re good at talking and having Our tone of voice is simply the result of us
ideas. We share the same ideals, ethics, and being a group of friends trying to make each
beliefs, and the copy we write is natural and other laugh, which is still my aim. I can’t write
honest, like a conversation you might have with for everyone in our audience, old and young,
your friends or your mom. I just write it as I say north and south. So I don’t try to. I’d end up
it or think it. And I try to question the accepted with something less than average if I tried to
way of doing things. In every bit of our business, please everyone.
from copywriting to how we make the drinks, I don’t like the word “consumer.” It suggests
we’ve been told “you can’t do this” from the a predictable group of people who will jump if
voices of experience. And we’ve usually found the advert tells them to jump. I like being an
that there is another, more innocent way. individual and my behavior can be unpredictable,
Before we settled on “Innocent” the company and I guess that goes for most other people out
was called “Fast Tractor.” Labels exist to prove there. People see through “clever” attempts to
this, though they’re locked in a cupboard. We change their behavior, so I would rather present
liked Fast Tractor because it suggested freshness information in a simple, clear way and let people
(to us at least). We also considered “Naked” and make up their own minds.
“Nude,” but at the time they were all just words. Lots of packaging is over-designed in my
We didn’t really have a clue about building a opinion. Every pack on the shelf shouts at you,
brand. But things have changed. These days we especially in our bit of the market, with pictures
use the word “innocent” as an adjective, asking of fruit and messages telling you to have your
ourselves “is this innocent?” when judging our five [servings of fruit and vegetables] a day. We
work, words, behavior—everything really. try to politely sit there and behave ourselves,
I now have a wider role as Head of Creative. and in the beginning being the quiet one got us
We have our own internal agency, which I help noticed. Ultimately, we let our drinks do the
to run, though I also work with external agencies talking and make sure our labels are calm and
when the need arises. When we work with agencies polite, and then when you flip the product over
we try to work collaboratively—we have a really you get a nice surprise. But no pack, however well
clear idea of how we want to look and feel, and designed, can mask a bad product, and so we know
I think/hope that agency creatives like working that 95 percent of the success of our business
with people who have that clarity. I’ve learned lives and dies by the quality of our ingredients
loads from working with agencies—I’ve worked and recipes.
with some of the best creatives that there are, We try to have a conversation with our drinkers.
and have pinched loads of tips on how to get to That means it’s a two-way thing. People e-mail
the best work. us or call the banana phone—we get hundreds
Policing and editing our copy is an instinctive of calls/e-mails every week, quite often from
process. I can give general guidelines and tips people who are just up for a chat. The first e-mails
but it is really difficult to define. If you held a gun that came through, which were from the first
to my head, I would say that the Innocent voice few passionate drinkers, helped us to form the
is natural, honest, and engaging. We once spent voice. These people love the stuff and we made
a whole day analyzing our tone only to come up friends, which helped us to find out all about
Innocent Smoothies contain only Buddha—now there was a nice
the purest and freshest fruit. chap. Never said a bad word
No concentrates, preservatives, about anyone, and always kept
or additives of any kind. And his stereo at a respectable
they’re made and delivered daily. volume so as not to disturb the
Now that’s out of the way I’m neighbors. Even had his life
using the rest of this space for a saved by some yoghurt once—
personal message: Brian, if you’re after losing consciousness whilst
reading this, do you want to fasting, a lady brought him back
come to the zoo next Thursday? from death by feeding him
My boss is on a training thing, so some. We find that our thickies
it’s all cool. They’ve opened the bring us back to consciousness
new penguin bit and apparently at around 11am, just when we
one of the pandas is expecting. need a bit of sustenance to help
I’ve taped this wing mirror to a us through till lunchtime, but
stick so you don’t have to stand please don’t let us dictate when
on a box or wear those tall shoes you should drink them. Choose
or anything. Call me. your own path. Om.
“I just write it as I say it or think it.”

the people who drank our drinks, and why they our words appear. If we delivered late, made
drank them. I used to sit there and e-mail them dodgy recipes, or if they just tasted rubbish,
all day long. Those were the days. the silly chat on our packaging would become
These days it’s not just me writing the copy. plain annoying.
We have a small group of people writing copy
for our packaging—a few people at Innocent
plus a motley crew of people I’ve met along the
way who just fancied having a go. We write a
brief and then everyone goes off and writes a few
labels every few months. It’s good to include an
external voice or two. Keeps things interesting.
We change the copy on our packs four times a
year. We generate over two hundred individual
messages every year, so we hope that you always
get a new one whenever you pick up one of
our drinks.
The reality of what we do is so much more
important than image. We’re creating a reality,
and it is easier and more effective to write the
way we do because then we don’t have to make
anything up.
And it’s this fact that I often return to.
We have a solid, well-run, copper-bottomed
business, and that allows us to write what we
fancy on the packs, on the Web, or wherever
 Writing for retailing and products

Support the customer’s journey

It’s the retailer’s job to lay out the store with clear sections, logical product
grouping, and attractive displays. As part of the creative team it is your role to
attract interest so that the shopper doesn’t miss the rewarding offers, promotions,
or brand propositions. Your touchstone is brevity and control—every display
must be eye-catching and easy to understand. Above all, create a strong sense
of atmosphere, interest and ideas by making sure that every message is
consistently in the same tone of voice, reinforcing the retailer’s core brand values.
As a customer, being bombarded by sales messages when all you want to
do is find a product can be enough to make you walk out of a store before you
even begin to shop. Every shopper will have similar specific requirements: they
want to locate what they’re looking for, be presented with a choice of similar
brands and products, pay for their choice without any hassle, and leave feeling
satisfied. This complete process (from entering to leaving the store) is usually
called the customer journey, and the messages that guide and support this
journey are essential components of good retailing.
Visit any leading supermarket or large-scale retailer and look carefully at
their brand icons, taglines, and price ticketing—you’ll see they are using a
value-pricing system of one form or another. It will be based on a matrix that
separates the core customer messages into a clear hierarchy, organized so
that they’re not vying for attention with each other and so that the customer
picks up distinct directional, brand, product, and promotional messages at the
right time on the journey through the store.
Smaller retailers can adopt a similar approach, often more easily, as they
don’t have to use every element, and they will have greater flexibility and less
formality. If you let products sit quietly on the shelf you are relying on the
customer to discover them. Use posters or shelf messages to point out key items
and their benefits and you’re likely to attract impulse purchases. Go for the
“wow” factor—try to give the customer a reason to purchase. A good approach
is to preprint blank tickets, posters, and signage so that your messages can
be overprinted and put up in-store quickly and cheaply, enabling the store
to operate short-term promotions and display very topical, specific, and
timely messages.

Key elements in a value-pricing system

All retailers take their own approach to communicating quality,
value, and service. Many focus on low prices, and most
value-pricing systems will incorporate the following elements:

4. Offer pricin g
rsion of the
ve
an alternative
1. Value icon device value price-po
int tickets that
a logo or graph
ic
ts a sh ort-term offer.
the store’s highligh
that represents
etitive prices.
everyday comp 3. Value pricing
a fixed-format price system
featuring a graphic device,
consistent color and some
basic supporting copy.

2. Bran
d
tagline
a memo
rab 5. Special
that enc le sign-off lin a further al offer
ap e
everyda sulates the sto that shouts
ternative ve
rsion
y value re’s out about
for mon exceptiona an
ey. l customer
offer.
 Writing for retailing and products

The style and tone of voice you use must represent the client’s brand
accurately and be concise, clear, and easy to understand. If a retail brand is
youthful, wacky, cutting-edge, cool, or funky you have a license to write your
copy accordingly, but don’t lose sight of the function of your messages. If it’s
well respected, established, and sophisticated your voice must reflect this.
If it takes time for customers to work out the meaning of your message they
probably won’t bother, so cut your copy down to the bone, use as few words
as possible, and be prepared to sacrifice your juicy creative lines for
straightforward guidance if necessary. For example, if you’re tempted to write
“This delicious, aromatic Blue Mountain coffee is supplied to us exclusively
and we grind the beans freshly on the premises for you. It’s Fairtrade
approved and we keep the prices as low as possible. Try a cup for free before
you buy your supplies for home!” consider this as an alternative: “Freshly
ground, exclusive Blue Mountain Fairtrade coffee. Enjoy a free cup now when
you buy 1lb!” This is a reduction from 46 to 16 words!

Understanding the customer journey

Your customer’s journey in, around, and out of the premises actually begins
“If you do build a great outside the store, with the enticing advertising and external messages you use
experience, customers tell to attract attention and draw in passing shoppers. A lot of effort and attention
each other about that. Word goes into the design of store window displays, but despite this many customers
of mouth is very powerful.” don’t pay much attention to the detail they contain. They are either driving or
Jeff Bezos walking past, while others will be heading into the store anyway. Either way,
passersby do not have much time to stop and absorb complicated messages.
Use short, punchy words, and as few as possible, remembering to reflect the
brand’s personality at all times.

The key elements in guiding the customer journey

d o w d isplays
wi n
a l s i g n age and e inside
Extern eason to com
r
giving a
 Writing for retailing and products

High-level
hanging signs
locating departments
and sections

Mid-level
hanging signs
flagging up
promotions
and offers

Shelf-edge
messages
flagging up
product benefits
and offers

Store doorways and entrances

welcome and basic directions
 Writing for retailing and products

Customer Journey 1 The store window is, in effect, a billboard advertisement and you should
Window displays approach the copy in the same way as any other external advertisement: keep
it short and make it compelling (by flagging up a single, overriding benefit).
The sales points you are making must be clear from across the road, at a
single glance. Boil the messages down to their ultimate essence—all you need
to do is entice people into the store to find out more.

Customer Journey 2 Depending on the layout of the store it makes sense to take the opportunity
Store entrance to display a welcome or brand message at the entrance to the store. This
can be a good way to give visitors a sense of the brand that sets the scene for
their overall experience in the store. Consider putting up a “goodbye and
thanks, see you soon” message here too, facing the customers as they leave—
politeness is always well received.

Customer Journey 3 Once people are inside the store they will need direction to product areas.
Directional signage Card signs hanging from the ceiling are an excellent method for flagging up
these sections, although they are not particularly efficient ways of running
promotions: customers rarely—if ever—look above head height once they
know where they are in the store. It’s best to focus your efforts on the shelf-
edge, eye-level, and end-of-aisle messages—otherwise, you could waste a lot
of time on messages that will literally go over everyone’s heads.

Customer Journey 4 Large retailers often operate two levels of hanging cards: high- and mid-level.
Hanging signs High-level hanging cards are best for identifying the sections of the store, and
it’s best to simply flag up a single word, or perhaps two. Mid-level hanging
signage is good for messages linked to seasonal promotions (Mother’s Day,
Valentine’s Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, skiing season, summer
season, and so on) or other promotional marketing messages, as they can be
seen from a distance and can lead customers over. The high-level signage
requires very basic copy, simply to name the sections, so resist the temptation
to use them for creative concepts as this can undermine the clarity of the
directional messages.

Customer Journey 5 The next stage of the customer journey that concerns you as the copywriter
Eye-level merchandising is at eye level, and has to clearly identify the products and their prices, and
support this with relevant details of any offers or specific product benefits.
It makes sense to use a consistent format for layout, colors, and copy, so
that your customer can find the relevant information as quickly and easily
as possible.

Customer Journey 6 Extreme simplicity and clarity are key at the shelf edge. If your client operates
On shelf a defined value-pricing system this will give you a format for the price tickets
that should allow every price to be displayed boldly and clearly. Consider
including a few short “bullet points,” highlighting the distinguishing features
and core benefits offered by each item. This will help to generate interest by
enabling comparisons and encouraging customers to try new products and
more expensive brands.

Customer Journey 7 Once customers have found what they are looking for, and have browsed the
Easy purchasing store and seen the promotions, they need to pay and leave. It is essential that
the location of the cash registers and exits are very clearly signposted from all
locations within the store. You don’t want to lose the sale at the last minute
because the customer has become frustrated.
 Writing for retailing and products

Customers don’t always know

how to shop a line, or how to
differentiate one product from
another, and Fairacre Farms have
taken a simple and extremely
effective approach to explaining
theirs. The results are practical,
and because of this they are
highly compelling too.
 Writing for retailing and products

It’s always great to find someone

having fun with their copy, and
Loseley know that ice cream is not
such a serious business, so why
not create some exotic characters
and tell some far-fetched stories?
It certainly makes them stand out
from the competition.

My husband sailed for It is true that I am a most

Madagascar today. Normally accomplished swordsman. But
I would count the days until when I truly want to impress,
his return. For he brings me the I present Loseley for dessert
most exotic delicacies. Then I (though my cook always
discovered Loseley use the finest maintains it is his own creation).
Madagascan bourbon vanilla The roasted hazelnuts, demerara
in their deliciously creamy ice sugar, and rich caramel sauce
cream. Strangely, I now miss my never fail to melt the ladies’ hearts.
husband rather less.
 Writing for retailing and products

You are unlikely to have any control over the number of supplier promotions
“Next to doing the right in the store. These are often written, designed, and produced by the product
thing, the most important supplier and are part of the deals made between retailers and manufacturers.
thing is to let people Sometimes they come to you in the form of a brief, and you should endeavor
know you are doing the to ensure that the same guidelines apply to these as to your client’s other
right thing.” customer messages.
John D. Rockefeller In-store posters should be big and bold, and they may require little more
than an evocative image and a brand identity. The posters created by Fairacre
Farms to promote their apples through educating their customers about the
specific benefits of different varieties are perfect examples of clear and powerful
communications. They contain a clear, benefit-led message and are warm
and enticing (page 117).
End-of-shelf displays—which are highly effective sales points—must have
a few basic communications elements and be light on copy. An emotive
headline and concise qualifying line will be all that’s needed to support the
graphics and steer the customer to the products being highlighted.

What are the products saying to your customer?

So much effort has been put into attracting the customer to the products on
the shelves, but what about the products themselves? Whether the product
line is the retailer’s house brand or is a stand-alone proprietary brand, your
pack copy has to clearly show what the brand is, highlight the product name,
explain the benefits it offers, and conform to a number of statutory requirements,
including lengthy ingredient (sometimes called INCI) lists. These elements
may seem very straightforward initially, but can be surprisingly complex, as
they will have to be applied across many items in the line.
On any product, space for copy is severely limited, and the requirements
“No matter what your (generic brand message, product details, benefits, full ingredients list, and
product is, you are legal disclaimers) often take up the lion’s share, even before you’ve had the
ultimately in the education chance to think about a creative line. It is vital to work with the designers and
business. Your customers artworkers to establish the copy area for each specific product, and to calculate
need to be constantly the precise word count. This will save you a lot of time and will help you to
educated about the many manage the expectations of your client from the start.
advantages of doing There are distinct differences between the role of copy on the front and
business with you, trained back of the pack. The copy on the front of the pack—especially the brand and
to use your products more product names and descriptors—is an advertisement; it has to catch the eye
effectively, and taught how and encourage people to put the product into their baskets. There is rarely time
to make never-ending for customers to read your back-of-pack copy in a busy store—it is intended to
improvement in their lives.” be read back at home, when they are relaxed and unhurried. Your back-of-
Robert G. Allen
pack copy should provide detail and evidence that reassures customers that
they have made a good purchase, and create enough motivation or incentive to
ensure that they will replace it from the same product line.

Get the tone of voice right

If you are writing the copy for an extensive product line it makes sense to
define the tone of voice for yourself, for the people approving the copy (the
marketing team, business owner, or senior client), and for any other writers and
the rest of the design team. This doesn’t need to be sophisticated or cleverly
designed. A few carefully prepared pages of paper will be sufficient. The tone-
of-voice guide on page 18 is a good example of the approach you can take.
As with any copy, keep it as short as possible. A few evocative sentences, set
in large type, can be a good way to present the tone of voice.
 Writing for retailing and products

The core elements of a brand matrix

Parameters such as these present an experienced
writer with a clear guide when selecting language,
phrases, words, and expressions to evoke the
essence of the brand.

What is the brand vision?

For example, “what makes this
brand different from any other?”

It could be: “this brand will be

a part of women’s lives from
their 30s onward.”

What is the core idea?

For example, “what is the reason
that the product or service exists?”

It could be: “this brand makes

the latest scientific thinking in
skincare available to every woman.”

Your tone-of-voice guide has to have some structure, some thinking behind
it that makes sense to everyone who will be involved with it. Most follow the
direction given by a brand matrix, a chart showing a profile of the brand, which
aims to identify and explain its core elements. If a brand structure or matrix
has not been provided by the lead creative agency or the client’s marketing team,
you should consider creating your own to use as a rough guide for your copy.

You need a global awareness when naming a product

Naming a product is a similar process to naming a brand (a product could
also be a brand in itself). The key difference is that a company brand is
“The point to remember designed to convey the values in the corporation consistently over many years,
about selling things is and therefore it needs to be solid and reliable and not a victim to fashion
that, as well as creating trends. However a product brand can take more of an advertising approach,
atmosphere and excitement and aim for high impact or standout, and if this is fashionable for a while it
around your products, can always be updated when trends change.
you’ve got to know what With such a huge variety of product brand names on the shelves, and
you’re selling.” new ones coming into the fray all the time, of equal importance to creative
Stuart Wilde brainstorming is the lack of availability of names when it comes to trademarks.
You have to search your early ideas thoroughly—and don’t present a proposed
new product brand name unless you are confident that there’s no reason to
believe it has been registered already.
 Writing for retailing and products

Why should
the customer
believe this?

For example, “what

makes the brand ring
true for the customer?”

What values What is its It could be: “traditional

are associated personality like? values coupled
with proven scientific
with this? For example, “what evidence.”
characterizes this
For example, “what does brand and the way
this brand stand for?” it communicates?”

It could be: “innovation, It could be:

performance, credibility.” “stimulating, friendly, fun.”

Work out what your product is associated with and consider the different
categories of names that you could select from.

Categories of names:

Arbitrary (Sun Microsystems)

Classical (Ajax cleaning products)
Acronym (DKNY)
Editing (Travelex)
Launching a new Description (Head and Shoulders)
product brand requires Alliteration (Automobile Association)
you to create: Family (Ferrari)
Heritage (Broad Stripe Butchers)

the brand name Consider the hierarchy of information that you are creating. You may well
range names be dealing with the parent brand name, the product brand itself, product name,
(for larger brands)
and a possible product description. Let one of these dominate.
specific product names
Product brands are highly competitive and you have to create a name that
the front- and back- helps yours stand out among the clutter. The best names are very memorable
of-pack copy
and sound good as well as look good. It should all add up to a good feeling
the point-of-sale,
merchandising, and about the name; if not, you’ll have an uphill battle trying to gain awareness of it
advertising text. after it’s launched.
 Writing for retailing and products

Spa Ritual uses a copy system

comprised of a few different
elements that appear consistently
on all packs, so that the customer
becomes familiar with the way the
information is communicated, and
feels connected with the brand.
Writing for retailing and products

Exercise: getting to grips with store communications

The aim of this exercise to is develop your skills in working to a hierarchy of
messaging. Choose an existing retailer, or create a profile of an imaginary one, and
see if you can break down their brand and messages into the following categories:

Value pricing Customer journey

1. What will their overall value message be? 1. Which messages are the most suitable for store
2. How will this be expressed as a tagline? windows?
3. What will everyday price tickets say? 2. What language will you use to guide customers
4. How will discounts be communicated? around the store?
3. How will you express core product promotions?
4. What messages would you put on the shelf edges?

Exercise: creating a new product brand

The objective of this exercise is to create a new brand name for a product line,
product names for individual items, and copy for both front and back of pack.
Create a short brief for a new product. It could be a lawnmower or a shampoo,
a chicken pie or a computer. Include the main benefit, target audience, and
point of difference.
1. Brainstorm lists of possible names for the main brand.
2. Shortlist and segregate these by type.
3. Choose an option to develop.
4. Create product names that fit in with the new brand (4 or 5 items).
5. For each item, write engaging and short copy for the front of pack.
6. Write some more detailed copy for the back of pack.
Keep a close eye on your word counts, ensuring they are the same for each item,
and that they will fit on the product (easy for lawnmowers, difficult for lipsticks).

Round-up
Present the core messages in a way that fosters strong rapport with the customer.
Create a strong sense of place, of belonging, comfort, and familiarity.
Your role is to attract interest so that the shopper doesn’t miss the rewarding
offers, promotions, or brand propositions.
The messages that guide and support the customer journey are essential
components of good retailing.
Go for the “wow” factor, try to give the customer a reason to purchase.
Be prepared to sacrifice your juicy creative lines for straightforward guidance
if necessary.
Work with the designers and artworkers to find out what the copy area is for
each specific product, and calculate the precise word count.
There are distinct differences between the role of copy on the front and back
of the pack.
If you are writing the copy for an extensive product range, define the tone of voice.
The availability of new brand names is sparse, so you must check your
proposals for trademark availability before you show them to the client.
Good design can transform a plain word into a strong brand, but it is best to
start with a word that already has impact and resonance on its own.
Be prepared to fight your corner to a certain extent. The best way to do this is
to explain all of the parameters and restrictions within which you are working.
Case Study: Method Home Products
Eric Ryan is the founder of Method Home Products, a $100 million
turnover home-products business that uses interesting messages and
a strong and clear tone of voice to communicate its sometimes radical
viewpoints. Method’s attitude is communicated powerfully through
effective use of copy, and this is one of the core factors behind its
outstanding success. Here Eric tells us how the brand was created,
and how it uses language to gain competitive advantage.

Eternal optimist:
Some people never wake
up on the wrong side of
the bed. Life through rose
colored glasses. Must be nice.
Soothing + always skin
friendly. Naturally derived.

Go getter:
On a mission? Jump start your
day with a little sweet mint
motivation. And remember,
the one with the most toys
at the end wins. Invigorating
+ always skin friendly.
Naturally derived.

Escape artist:
Let go. Whatever it is, it can
surely wait until tomorrow.
Playing hooky ... it’s good for
the soul. Relaxing + always
skin friendly. Naturally derived.
The Objective: we now have an in-house writer too. We’re trying to
explaining how our brand is different find our “Dan” [Dan Germain, Innocent, pages 110–
12], someone who can instinctively control our tone of
in every sense voice and push it forward without losing core values.
Method had to be a challenging brand, a challenger Where we can, we like to have fun with product
brand. It had to do things differently to stand out names and be more creative. Creating a combustible
from the competition in a crowded marketplace, cleaning cloth from corn, we called the range Omop
and had to make customers think differently about to make it sound distinctive. We’re following the lead
the home products they use. Most consumers are of companies like Apple who make product icons
on autopilot when they shop. We used our voice, that become part of our culture. Whatever you do,
messages, and language to challenge the status quo. you can’t overcomplicate things. It’s about keeping
I’m a strategic planner, not a writer. I’m a terrible it simple to make it stand out and be memorable.
writer, but can tell good writing when I see it. I write The basic structure to our pack copy is that it
copy briefs from a strategic point of view, giving as must be a single sentence. In Canada rules state
much content as I can. My skill is in creating the big we have to include extra information, and have it in
idea that the creatives can develop and bring to life. French too. It’s a real challenge to be simple: there’s
Maintaining our tone of voice across our product a constant trade-off between the messages and the
range is a challenge. We have products in all areas, necessary detail. We have to keep trying to strike
from candles to detergent. The objective is to achieve the right balance; we haven’t found the solution yet.
consistency with the messages and information on We often find at the end of a long brainstorm
every product, but to be honest we can’t get there. that many, sometimes most, of the words we want
We strike a balance between doing the best writing for products are already registered as trademarks,
possible for each product, and representing the sometimes decades ago. I’m always amazed at how
brand voice accurately and clearly. We know we many are gone. Our open and flexible approach to
don’t need the copy to look the same, or read the product copy means we can have lots of choices in
same, on every product, it just has to feel the same. product names. Checking for availability is a long
Merchandising and the way we display and and expensive part of the process, and we have an
market products in-store is a very important part of in-house legal team who specialize in this for us.
our business. We try to utilize every touch point for It is easier to get the copy right on every touch
the customer, giving them clear messages to ensure point if writers are in-house. It is such a difficult job
they understand our environmental credentials. if you are not based in the business, if you don’t
We have a small budget for marketing, and the copy understand the categories and context for each one.
we use has to work very hard for us.
The Result:
The Approach: customers know what we offer them,
speaking our mind and standing and they love it
for our beliefs We make sure we’re never boring, and we’re always
Our personality, which is about questioning and experimenting and reinventing how we talk about
being rebellious, comes from us and the attitude our products and their benefits. We’re always looking
that formed the business in the first place. for fresh approaches and new ideas. For example,
The name Method came from my original brief. we learned shopping bags were being banned in
I’m from a branding background, and I wanted a San Francisco; we created a promotion so customers
“jumping off” word to say we get the job done, with receive a free reusable shopping bag if they spend
less force. Our inspiration was the word “technique,” $20 with us. The funky bag has “plastic bag rehab”
as by using better techniques we can reduce the written in big hippy lettering—they’ve been a hit.
need to use strong detergents or chemicals that harm We make statements explaining who we are and
our environment. Adam, in our team, suggested what we stand for. They range from “we think perfect
“method” and we all agreed it was a good fit. is boring, and weirdliness is next to godliness” to
The voice of Method was developed by our “we also believe in making products safe for every
advertising agency, Crispin Porter, with two aims: it surface, especially earth’s.” We make our attitude
had to be fun (in a category not associated with fun) felt on the widest possible scale and are not afraid
and had to be both provocative and likable. of thinking big. We’ve recently launched a “Detox
Our agencies (Shire and TBWA), together with Seattle” campaign, and even published a book about
our freelance writers, look after all copywriting for us; our attitude and thinking—it’s called Squeaky Green.
Case Study: Pret A Manger
Pret A Manger is one of the UK’s retail success stories. Selling a wide
range of the freshest sandwiches and lunchtime foods, the company
prefers to use innovative customer communications rather than slick
advertising and PR. Everything in a Pret store carries a message, from
the coffee cups to the napkins, from the packaging to the posters on the
walls. This creates a strong and unique personality, so what was their
original approach, and how do they do it?

We spent months dipping, The goodies in this little bag are

dunking and tasting until we packed full of good stuff. Mangos
found the perfect recipe for are a fantastic source of vitamin
yoghurty, chocolatey nuts (hard C and they taste amazing.
life, eh?).
We buy Fairtrade mango which
Almonds, brazils, hazelnuts, guarantees fair prices for the
macadamias, pecans, pistachios farmers. We think this makes
... we think this little bag rocks! them taste even sweeter!
The Objective: knowledge.” For example, their “Eat with your
head” campaign promotes ten very sensible points
reflecting the attitude that makes about healthy eating.
the company so dynamic By maintaining such a simple and straightforward
process to writing messages, the team at Pret is
The messages mirror the culture that pervades every
able to keep a consistent feel with all of the copy.
aspect of Pret’s business. It is a relaxed and
When trying to come up with a phrase to describe
informal working environment, built on the individual
chemicals used by competitors, the team settled
qualities of everyone who works there, and the
on “frankenstein food,” while one of Pret’s coffees
internal communications are as quirky as the
has “a velvety foam—gives a jolt in the arm.” They
customer messages.
also go to great lengths to include their ingredients
Pret doesn’t have a press or PR office and only
in plain English, and where they can’t avoid jargon
uses an external creative agency to help manage
they explain what the ingredient is for: “soya
the huge workload of writing. The stimulating and
lecithin—to stop glooping.”
informative messages that adorn every Pret item
They operate plans and processes—coffee
are written and managed by three people internally:
cups are reprinted three times a year, and posters
the company’s founder, commercial director, and
refreshed five times a year—but the rule of thumb
head of communications, and even they don’t follow
is that nothing is sacred. You’ll find interesting
a rule book.
messages at the bottom of invoices, on training
The Pret tone of voice is based on the personality
materials, on screen designs, and on the wall at
and ideas of the founder, Julian Metcalfe. It bursts
head office (where they keep a swear box for anyone
with life, but is never preaching or bragging, and
referring to stores outside of London as “out of
is definitely not “corporate” or “spin.” Nothing
London”). The way they communicate to their
deviates from the message about Pret’s natural
customers and staff is incredibly important to Pret,
food, which is always “just made.” Julian himself
and every piece of communication comes through
never uses the word “copy”—to him it’s just
the writing team for approval.
messages, and every message is designed to
It’s not as easy as it looks, though. They return
make you feel good about Pret.
many times to each piece of copy, and quality
control themselves by reading and critiquing each
The Approach: other’s copy. It took six months to write their 16-
keeping the copy as fresh page brochure, but it is this painstaking attention
to detail that makes the Pret A Manger tone of voice
as the sandwiches so light, tasty, and enjoyable.
There is an instinctive approach to creativity and
freshness, and an openness that many others The Result:
could learn from. They have published all of their
recipes so that customers can make Pret sandwiches
communications that build
themselves, and they have made public their relationships with their customers
commitment to not air-freight their ingredients,
The copy at Pret builds long-term customer
except in the case of an emergency (or where fresh
relationships because it is targeted and engaging,
basil leaves are concerned).
but they are clear that the most compelling thing
The writers say it is difficult to explain what is
about Pret is the food. Just like the food, the copy
on- and off-brand when writing for Pret, but they
has to be turned around quickly so that the messages
all know what works and what doesn’t—they each
are always fresh and, where possible, relevant.
have a highly attuned eye for language, both their
Critics say the customer is bombarded with emotional
own and that of the competitors. If a competitor
overload, but they miss the point. The customer
could say it, Pret won’t. Yet a style of copy that
reads what he or she wants and, rather than being
works for a Pret soup board won’t work for a Pret
overloaded, is given a choice of positive messages
coffee board, simply because they are completely
to enjoy at will.
different messages.
The closest they get to an explanation is that
their language “has charm, wit, and humility, but
is never preaching,” and that, while it is fun, “it
is a wry smile not a belly laugh.” They have also
described it as “flippancy, underpinned by serious
Ian (Head of Crisps) was
convinced he could make ours
taste even better. (We didn’t see
him for months.)
He’s feeling rather smug now,
as we have to agree—they really
do taste very, very good.
Pret crisps are good because we
chop and change the variety
of potato throughout the year.
This costs more but results in
a better crunch and taste.

When you bake a cake at home,

you take it out of the oven and
cool it on a rack. Then you eat
a large slice (as a reward) and
keep the rest in a flowery cake
tim, like your Grandma used to!
Think of the nasty wrapper as
the cake tin. It’s the only way
we can keep the cake moist and
delicious. As is often the case,
the beauty is on the inside.