4.

1 Interpersonal Relationships
What our interpersonal relationships say about us

When looking at the previous units we first considered language as a process where
we focused on the fact that whenever we use language, we observe who we are in
terms of the processes underlying the language of survival and co-ordination. We
went further in Unit 2 and regarded the issue of how language signifies attitude
and worldview, which is based on the statement that we always reflect who we are
when we use language. In Unit 3 we returned to our roots where we acquired our
language usage skills. We examined language usage in terms of those first social
groupings we grew up in such as our family concerning language and identity.

Our interpersonal relationships can be positive or negative, but they say a great
deal about who we are. For example, the gestures we use, our body language and
non-verbal communication also have a great impact on the ways that we interact with
other people.

4.2 Multicultural Interpersonal Relationships

Instructions: Interpersonal relationships are often more complicated in the cases
of multicultural connections.

Multiculturalism and multilingualism: Many cultures & many languages

In the preceding learning unit, you acquired fundamental knowledge concerning the
role of language in revealing the family structure and kinship relations among the
indigenous people of South Africa. The purpose of this learning unit is to raise
cultural awareness through language usage, and to instil a tolerance of differences
that have the potential of dividing people and creating tension between them.
Cultural awareness through language usage will help you to interact with people of
other cultural groups, co-exist with people in different social groupings and
address communication problems in an environment of a different cultural
background.

Activity 4.2.1: Watch a video and think about your own language

There are many official languages in South Africa (we discussed this briefly in
Unit 1), however, this is one of the advantages of living here, a multi-cultural
and multi-lingual society offers us many opportunities to learn about other people.
This video provides us with some insight into all those languages, even by the
greetings we use:

Play Video
Then read the following extract and respond to the questions below:
http://Cristy in South Africa: Language Lesson Multilingualism promotes unity

BuaNews: 12 June 2003

The use and promotion of all 11 official languages will provide an opportunity for
ordinary South Africans to make choices in ways in which they want to be educated,
according to Arts, Culture, Science and Technology Minister Ben Ngubane.

Addressing a two-day conference on the government’s National Language Policy

Framework in Benoni on the East Rand on Thursday, Ngubane said the framework,
approved by Cabinet in February, aimed to foster respect for language rights and
linguistics diversity and to promote national unity.

“It is important that South Africans be afforded an opportunity of achieving in

their own languages, of not dropping out of school because of difficulty with a
second or third language as a medium of instruction,” Ngubane said.

Ngubane dismissed perceptions that multilingualism was a costly exercise, citing

examples of progressive multilingual countries such as Belgium, Canada, Finland,
and Switzerland.

“The value of multilingualism for South Africa is not exclusively measurable in

rands and cents. The truth is that monolingualism also has financial costs for
South Africa."

The minister challenged sceptics to think about the hidden costs implications for
the country, such as loss of human resources resulting from school dropouts, poor
performance and poor communication.

Ngubane launched a multilingual mathematics dictionary at the conference, which he

said will go a long way to ensure the success of the language policy.

The Minister also announced that the Northern Cape government and his department
would be starting a project to record the San and Khoi languages which were on the
verge of extinction.

(Source: BuaNews)

Consider the following questions and your response to them:

What is a multilingual society?

Are you aware that South Africa is a multilingual society?

Do you agree with what the minister said in the first paragraph?

Look at the third paragraph: Do you think we can achieve this?

Imagine if you were to decide on whether South Africa or your own country should be
multilingual or not: What line of argument were you going to choose?

Do you think multilingualism can promote unity in society?

Why do you say so?

In responding to the above questions, you could have stated some of the following
issues:

South Africa is a multifaceted and multilingual society, and this is reflected in

the existence of various speech communities. Each speech community is characterised
by people who share the same norms regarding language and have the same set of
social attitudes towards language. In addition, one should note that the speakers
of the same language form many different communities. Each community is
characterised by its norms and rules of speech, and speech behaviour is dictated by
the circumstances in which interaction occurs. Through the speech behaviour of
speech communities, you can recognise the role of relationship between people of
different racial groups or between father and son, husband and wife, teacher and
pupil, clergy, and congregation, and among friends.

Have you noticed that people’s attitudes toward different languages and variations
of these languages reflect their perceptions of people in different social
categories? Can you think of an example in this regard? Such perceptions influence
their interaction within and across the boundaries of the speech community.
Attitudes are in fact acquired as a factor of group membership and this forms part
of the process of socialisation in a particular speech community. This is because
attitudes are strongly influenced by the social structure of the community in
question. Think about your attitude towards your language and towards other
languages.

4.2.1 Multilingualism
More about interpersonal relationships

Research suggests that there are many ways to portray positive or negative feelings
among people and this plays an important role in human relationships. Language has
the power to affect interpersonal relationships positively or negatively.
Interpersonal relationships involve relationships between people. Attitudes can be
reflected through different forms of language usage, for example, address,
greetings and gestures, proverbial expressions, and religion. In this unit, the
reflection of attitudes will be focused on forms of address, greeting and gestures;
language and religion; and oral tradition. These are the basic elements of
communication a person must know if he or she intends to interact with persons of a
different cultural background in a multilingual society.

4.3 Forms of address, greetings, and gestures

Say "Hello" "Howzit" "Sawubona"
The photo here depicts a Ghanaian World Cup soccer player when he met with former
President Nelson Mandela in 2010

How are they greeting each other? They are using a common greeting gesture: The
handshake. What else can you say about this greeting?

Can you recall the time you experienced some difficulty when you tried to
communicate with a person of a different cultural, racial or language group? What
happened during your communication with that person? Different racial groups have
been living side by side for centuries since the arrival of white people in 1652 in
South Africa, yet communication between these racial groups is not improving. What
do you think might be hampering smooth communication between these racial groups?
Probably the root cause might be a lack of understanding of another person’s
language and culture. What differentiates white communities from black communities
are their different cultural activities and the different way each community
perceives the world around them. The source of these cultural activities and
particular perceptions of the world is the family.

There are a myriad of languages to learn in South Africa because we have so many
different cultures living together in one country. But each of these cultures has
its own way of greeting and saying hello.

Watch the video below, as it explains yet another language, that of non-verbal
communication. In this case, the video explains the sign language used to ride in a
taxi:

Play Video

What happens in your culture when a wife calls her husband by his first name? Among
the African people, it is unacceptable for a wife to call her husband by his first
name, especially in the presence of the elders. She must use the clan’s name if she
wants the attention of her husband, and if she dares to call her husband by the
first name, she will be showing disrespect. The family and the community will
scold her. Among white people, it is common behaviour for a wife to call her
husband by his first name, and this is regarded as an indication of the couple’s
closeness.

Have you ever heard about a speech variety among the Nguni people and Basotho which
is used by women only to show respect to their husbands? You may not have heard it
before; this speech variety is known as Hlonipha or isiHlonipho sabafazi or
sehlonepho sa basadi. Hlonipha is an isiZulu or isiXhosa or Siswati noun formed
from the verb stem - hlonipha meaning “to respect”. However, on the other hand,
sehlonepho is a Sesotho noun formed from the prefix se- of class 7 and the verb
stem – hlompha meaning “to respect”. This speech variety is characterised by the
fact that women in their everyday speech avoid syllables or sounds that occur in
the names of their husband’s families, for example, a woman may avoid using the
syllables –komo in inkomo (head of cattle), saying inombe instead, or she may avoid
the sound f in ukufukama (to hatch) by saying uku’ukama. This custom applies to the
names of the father-in-law, the mother-in-law, the father-in-law’s brothers and
their wives, and the mother-in-law’s sisters and their husbands.

How do younger people address older persons in your culture? It is unacceptable for
a younger person to address an older person by their first name because this is
considered disrespectful in the African culture. In this instance, one should in
isiZulu use baba or mama before the proper name, whereas in Tshivenḓa one should
use Vho- before the name, for example, Vho-Masindi.

Have you observed how different people greet? Watch TV series, etc. Among the Zulu
people, Vatsonga and Vhavenḓa etc., the wife is not permitted to greet the husband
while she is standing, and she is not allowed to look at her husband directly in
his eyes. The tone of her voice must be friendly and respectful. When she passes
her husband an article or gives him something to eat, she must always kneel or else
she will be considered disrespectful towards her husband. When a Western system of
schooling was introduced to Africans, the African children that were in these
schools were also taught to observe the African norms and culture. At school, for
example, a girl would be taught not to hand over a book or any other article to a
teacher while standing; she must kneel or bend over a bit. If she did not do that
she will be regarded as disrespectful towards her teacher. A boy may not wear a
hat while speaking to his teacher or any older person because this is a sign of
disrespect. In the white community, however, it is not disrespectful for a wife to
greet her husband while standing, looking directly at him in the eyes or kissing
him or hugging him. If an African woman did this, she would be called all sorts of
names.

Among traditional Vhavenḓa a son cannot greet his father or speak to him while
standing, he must sit down. If he is wearing a hat, he must take it off. He is
supposed to say ndaa! (The interjection which is used when one is responding to a
call or when one greets older people) when his father calls him. If he should say
hee! (The interjection which is used when one is responding to a call) his father
may get angry and punish him. He does not relate his problems to his father
directly, but rather to his mother who will communicate all his problems to his
father. The son does all these things to show respect to his father. A daughter,
like a son, should kneel when she greets her father or talks to her father or any
other elderly person. When she gives her father an article or something to eat or
drink, she must kneel to show respect. When her father calls her, she must respond
by saying aa! (The interjection which is used when one is responding to a call or
when one greets older people) and not hee! What is the situation in your culture?
Can a daughter or son speak to her or his father, or an elderly person while
standing?

In an African community, there are certain things that children cannot say about
their father or mother. For example, children cannot say that their father is
drunk because they will then be insulting him; they would rather say that their
father is happy (Vho takala, which means he is happy). The children also cannot say
their mother or father is lying, even if that is the case, because they will be
insulting their mother or father; they would rather say she or he is joking (Vha a
swaswa). On the other hand, there is nothing wrong if a white boy or girl tells his
or her parents that they are drunk or lying. Saying these things does not strain
the relationship between parents and children like it would in the black
communities.

In black communities, parents cannot discuss sexual matters in the presence of

their children, because sex is an activity performed by adults only. In addition
to this, children cannot utter words such as faeces, vagina, testicles, penis etc.,
in the presence of their parents or strangers, because to do so would be regarded
as an insult. Any persons of equal age and who are related, or friends, can
however talk about sexual organs, etc.

4.4 Language and Religion

How does oral tradition relate to our religious beliefs?

According to the Constitution of the Republic of South Africa, persons belonging to

a cultural, religious, or linguistic community may not be denied the right, with
other members of the community, to practise their religion.

Find out from the people around you if they agree with the position taken by the
Constitution of the Republic of South Africa regarding the practice of religion.
They must also provide reasons for the agreement or disagreement.

Read the following passage and consider the questions that follow:

One day at a funeral in a village, a priest was asked to lead the funeral
procession. After the coffin had been lowered into the grave, and the priest had
concluded with his Christian rites of burial, he requested the people to fill in
the grave with soil. He was surprised to see one old man stopping the people to do
as intreated. The old man called a woman who was holding a calabash, some roots,
and reeds in her hands. Without speaking to the old man, she approached a young
man who was standing next to the grave and handed all the articles to him. The
young man did not speak to the woman; he just took the articles and handed them to
a young man who was already in the grave. The young man in the grave put some of
the articles on the opposite sides of the coffin (the head and the legs). When the
young man came out of the grave, water was poured into the grave. My friend told
me that the priest confided in him after the funeral, saying that he will never
preside over a funeral if people keep on practising their heathen tendencies.

Activity 4.4.1.1: Questions

In your opinion, what makes the priest consider the practices mentioned above
heathen?
Can you justify this thinking?
What do you think could have happened if the priest had approached the old man
regarding stopping the people to do as asked?

4.4.2 African belief system

What would be your personal views on the following?

Do you think the priest would have had a problem if he knew the purpose of placing
such articles in the grave?

Do you have a problem with placing such articles in the grave?

Very few nations in this world are devoid of religion. Religions share the ideas
of icons, symbols, sacrifice, behaviour, attitudes, and quest as part of a
meaningful life. Think of the religion practised in your society? Does it
influence your life? How is religion communicated to the people in your culture?
Religion plays an enormous role in influencing a wide range of spheres, including
community life. What value do you attach to the dead in your culture?

[Graphic source:

http://clericalwhispers.blogspot.com/2012/01/catholic-church-finds-itself-on-africa
s.html ;
http://fireflyafrica.blogspot.com/2009_03_01_archive.html ;
http://www.carrafrica.com/?p=874 ]

Africans believe in ancestral worship. Ancestor worship among the Africans is

centred on the belief that the living and the dead can mutually influence one
another. Ancestorial worship is a variety of religious beliefs and practices
concerned with the spirits of dead persons regarded as relatives, some of whom may
be mythical. The influence which the ancestors’ spirits have on the living forms
the basis for all rites connected with ancestral worship. In an African community,
death does not make a person cease to belong to his or her social unit, i.e.,
family, clan, tribe, village, and nation. The ancestral spirits should be
respected, honoured, and obeyed. Proper respect and reverence are given. They
should be thanked for their blessings, and they should also be fed through various
sacrifices. A person who does not adhere to these practices angers the ancestral
spirits who can display their anger or displeasure by punishing this person. Other
racial groups do not believe in ancestral worship. Do you believe in ancestor
worship?

The role of language in demonstrating communication between the ancestors and the
living is important. The ancestral spirits are known as vhadzimu (gods) among
Vhavenḓa, swikwembu (gods) in Xitsonga, badimo (gods) in all Sotho languages,
izinyanya (gods) in isiXhosa and amandlozi (gods) in isiZulu. In all these language
groups, it is believed that the ancestral spirits are intermediaries between God
and his people. Language has the power to affect interpersonal relationships
positively or negatively. There are different forms of communication between
ancestral spirits and their descendants. Communication between the ancestral
spirits and the living descendants can be through dreams known as miloro, in
Tshivenḓa or ditoro in Sotho languages. The ancestors cannot speak directly to the
living and can only express their desires by visiting them in their dreams.
Usually, they do this through the characteristics of their attributes of spirit
known as muya in Tshivenḓa or moya in Sotho languages, and spirit (the visual image
of the deceased), also known as seriti in Sotho languages or tshirunzi in
Tshivenda. Descendants can sometimes communicate with their ancestral spirits
through diviners who are called dziṅanga in Tshivenḓa or dingaka in Sotho
languages. Diviners use a set of divination bones (called ditaola in Sotho
languages or ṱhangu in Tshivenḓa) to communicate with ancestral spirits. The
ancestors can send messages to their descendants during the divination process.
The divination set can deduce whether the cause for a mishap should be ascribed to
witchcraft or the discontentment of the ancestral spirits (Mönig 1967).

The ancestral spirits can express their discontentment or desires through certain
signs, namely whirlwinds which appear during ploughing time, or hail which is also
considered to be a bad omen from the ancestors, or other signs. The ancestors are
worshipped through sacrifice known as u phasa (spit out water) in Tshivenḓa or go
phasa in Sotho languages.

4.6 Language of Proverbs and Idioms

What do we know about proverbs and idioms?

Before you can continue with this section of the unit, identify any two proverbs
and two idioms in your language. What are the functions of the proverbs and idioms
you have identified? In your response you could have stated some of the following:

Comparable to myths and folktales, proverbial expressions restate themes that

appear in ethical and moral teaching. Proverbs and idioms serve to instruct and
remind members of society of wise codes of conduct. They are used to drive home
ideas of social behaviour by using scorn for those who depart from socially
accepted norms. Proverbial expressions can be described as short, popular,
oft-used sentences that use plain language to express some practical truth that
results from experience or observation. The weight and effectiveness of proverbial
language among Africans are attested to by their continuing daily use of proverbs
and idioms and by their current interest in collecting and documenting proverbs and
idioms.

Proverbs are a suitable form of verbalising socially prescribed actions and

attitudes. Proverbs are sometimes used quite formally and consciously as a vehicle
for achieving a certain desired result. Proverbs have a general educative role;
they often imply some general comment on the way people should, or should not,
behave. Proverbs are particularly effective at expressing people’s experience and
expectations.
Since the moral codes and ethical principles of Africans are not written down,
proverbs and other forms of oral tradition serve to encode and enact the principles
of African life in society. Penfield (1975) observes that proverbs are used
rhetorically in one of two ways: to illuminate or to correct. These are two
different speech acts. Illuminative usage is what speech-act theory calls locution
– which is a simple referential statement that simply reinforces a point. In most
African societies proverbs used in public speech-making often have an illuminative
function. They remind the community of the traditional customs and moral standards
that are to be followed and they remind the community of its moral code.

Proverbs used as corrective usage are illocutionary; in other words, they are not
simply making a referential statement but are calling on some authority to manage
or direct the actions of people. Such proverbs are used to correct the community’s
profane behaviour so that order is maintained, and society can enjoy peace,
happiness, and prosperity. Proverbs can take many forms, the most common being
stories and fables with moral lessons.

Here is an example of a moral story told about the origin of the Baobab tree:

https://mymodules.dtls.unisa.ac.za/pluginfile.php/22018096/mod_lesson/page_contents
/809885/Boab%20tree.docx

This type of story is a very popular form of literature and is common in many
languages. It is also a common form of literature, sometimes told to children, but
often meant for adults. In India, an English writer named Rudyard Kipling became
famous after collecting a series of these Indian moral and creation tales called
Just-So Stories which explain such phenomena as "Why the elephant has a long trunk"
or "How the Leopard got his spots".

Think about the story of the baobab and the ideas we have discussed oral tradition
and storytelling. Can you define and understand the following concepts?

Oral tradition
Indigenous Knowledge System
Have you ever been in a situation where a message was communicated to you through a
proverb or an idiom?
What was the message?
How did you respond after analysing the message of the proverb?
You can also retell your own proverbs, idioms, or stories?

4.8 Proverbs and African worldview

How do proverbs relate to African worldview?

Have you ever heard the following English proverb: Where there is a will there is a
way? What is the message in this proverb? Its message is that of encouragement
(When a person really wants to do something, he or she will find a way of doing
it). Do you have proverbs with a similar message in your language? Such proverbs
are abundant in African cultures. In accordance with Finnegan’s (1970) claim that
the African worldview is not totally different from that of better-known cultures,
an understanding of how African proverbs express common wisdom is unique to any
culture. Thematic links that are mainly directed at disciplining people and
supporting values will be discussed. Proverbs in all languages are similar and, in
a sense, compatible. African languages are rich in adages and locutions that
remind us of the Book of Proverbs in many ways (Burden 1982:84). In fact, there
are many similarities between the proverbs from different cultures. Some isiXhosa
proverbs, in particular, show noticeable similarities with the biblical wisdom
literature by addressing themes such as child discipline and nurturing, you reap
what you sow, respect due to women, patience and self-help and doing things for
yourself.

[Graphic source: http://www.tlc-usa.org/view.php?page=1 ]

Child discipline and nurturing

This theme has been singled out from the sayings of both cultures, that is, the
Christian and the African; this is because the family is a basic social unit in all
societies. Healthy family practices are therefore essential for an orderly
society.

Proverbs 30:17

Iliso eligculela uyise, lidele ukumlulamela unina, uyakulikrukra amahlungulu

asemlanjeni alidle amathole exhalanga

(The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the
ravens of the valley)

IsiXhosa equivalent:

Uya kudliwa ngamaxhalanga

(You will be eaten by vultures/ undesirable behaviour towards parents will be

visited by punishment)

Proverbs 3:12

Musukuthandabuza ukuqeqesha umntwana. Akuyi kumbulala ukumohlwaya. Ndaweni yoko

kuya kumsindisa

(Don’t hesitate to discipline a child. A good spanking won’t kill him or her. As
a matter of fact, it may save his life)

IsiXhosa equivalent

Umthi u gotywa usemanzi

(The runner of a plant is bent before it dries/ a child should be warned against
the evil ways while it is still young because when it is old it will be difficult
to teach).

Most examples fall into the above category are often characterized by admonitions
such as: If you behave this way, you will be … (rewarded or punished); If such
happens the result is …; Do not … and so on. These are admonitions regarding
behaviour, especially respect for adults. This clearly shows that, in both
cultures, Christian and African, the tradition of respect for parents presupposes
respect for God and/or gods. Children are supposed to obey the instructions of
their parents while parents, in turn, have a responsibility to teach their children
the commandments/rules of life. Can you cite two proverbs in your language which
are characterized by admonitions?

You reap what you sow

The occurrence of axioms couched in the negative is a popular form in African

proverbs. The examples below illustrate that a person gets what he or she
deserves.

Ingcimbi yamanzi ifa ngamanzi, eyekrele ngekrele

(An expert swimming in dangerous waters will die of water, and an expert in the use
of a sword will die by the sword/a sinner will die of his sins)

Akukho nkwali iphandel’enye

(No partridge scratches for another/

Everyone for himself. One must work for one’s own good and not expect others to
work for your benefit)

This pattern produces a rhythmical balance proposition which places emphasises on a

key concept. For example, the idea underlying the above proverbs and some other
examples not given here is that success is a result of working hard, while
wickedness and laziness will lead to trouble (Ntshinga 1998). Cite a few proverbs
in your language which reveals that success is a result of working hard.

Respect due to women

Contrary to the popular idea that major collections of African proverbs negate the
place of women in society, Masetywa’s (1954) collection of isiXhosa proverbs, at
least, provide us with an example of a society that honours women. The few
proverbs about women in this collection portray women as being extremely valuable
to society. Mbiti (1969:63) emphasises the value of African women in society and
says this about them:
Not only do they bear life, but they nurse, they cherish, they give warmth, and
they care for life since all human life passes through their bodies.

The above statement gives a picture of women as being highly valuable in African
society. Several African proverbs relate to mothers as being central to the
family. The family is a basic social unit in African societies, therefore,
relationships within this unit are very important. The relationship between mother
and child is a common theme of many proverbs. Outside South Africa, we can cite
the case of some Akan proverbs which reveal that the Akan society sees a woman as
valuable. For example:

The tortoise has no breasts and yet she feeds her young ones.
A hen might step on her chick, but not to kill it.
When you catch the mother hen, the chicks become easy prey.
Lessons learned from proverbs

What lessons did you learn from the above?

In most African societies the word “woman” and “hen” are almost synonymous; as in
nature, the obvious characteristic of the female is giving birth and nurturing the
species. Mothers not only feed but also protect the young. All proverbial
observations about hens and chickens also hold true for the human communities. The
welfare of children takes precedence over everything else in a woman’s life;
nothing else is as important. Respect for women, particularly mothers, is publicly
commended and appreciated. A woman’s value as a procreator is surrounded by
religious taboos. Please note that, in African discourse, a mother is not
necessarily the biological mother. The following Sesotho proverb illustrates the
respect that should be accorded to women: Mosadi ke morena (A woman is a chief; a
woman is respectable even in the eyes of a chief who is respected by all).
Proverbs such as this one might help educate all those who abuse women whether
emotionally, physically, or sexually, concerning the value of women in society.

In traditional African society, physically abusing a woman/women is a grave offence

that is severely punishable. This is illustrated in the following isiXhosa proverb
Induku ayinamzi (Physical abuse of a woman does not build a home, it destroys
families). This is further illustrated in the following isiZulu song:

Ungabomshay’umfazi

Wobaleka nebodwe lenyama

Never beat up a woman

She will run with a pot of meat (joy)

Proverbs are not just reflections of life; they also play an active part in
creating this life. The youth learn to appreciate and understand the connection
between the social world and language. The metaphorical use of proverbs introduces
the youth to abstract thought and moral viewpoints in a very natural, holistic way
through spontaneous, informal instruction (Penfield and Duru 1989). Proverbs carry
tremendous power and authority. Their philosophical meanings make statements about
the rules that guarantee a peaceful social order. These rules suggest how members
of the society are to treat each other and behave generally.

Patience and self-help

Most people start their careers from humble beginnings. The majority follow
certain professions to maintain their families, and opt for careers not out of
choice, but because they need money to live on. They often scramble their way to
success without any support structures. They must overcome problems they had not
anticipated and must be patient while they learn the “tricks” of their trades.
Within the repertoire of the proverbs are those which are meant to encourage people
who had been struggling without success. Such proverbs serve as a motivation to
persevere, and in a sense are a “coping strategy”. The same proverbs might well be
suitable for teaching youth who are not prepared to work hard and wait for the
material rewards they expected to accomplish quickly and easily when they migrated
to the towns and cities and who are prepared to resort to crime to acquire what
they want.

The following are isiXhosa proverbs that emphasise the importance of exercising
patience:

Inja ixhapha amanzi ngolwimi

(A dog licks water with its tongue/

one should exercise patience to be successful)

This example indicates how observant African people are of the habits of animals
and birds. A dog cannot drink; therefore, it must lap the water with its tongue to
quench its thirst. This requires a great deal of patience. People, youth, should
thus learn a lesson from the dog. As far as the dog is concerned, it does not
matter how long it takes to lick because it eventually satisfies itself.

Ubud’abuphangwa

(You do not rush to get tall/

Patience should be exercised in trying to achieve one’s goal)

People must not rush to amass wealth or to reach high positions, lest they blunder.
It is good to climb all the steps of the ladder to success, to learn and know all
stages of life, and to find out about the bad and good things in life. Taking time
to acquire things gives a person self-respect and makes him or her to able to
understand and sympathise with those who are still struggling.

You need to be taught that sometimes things do not work well, and people do not
benefit immediately from their projects. The youth need to understand that they
are being unrealistic when they lose hope and seek shortcuts which usually involve
crime such as pick-pocketing, hijacking etc. It is precisely in such situations
that they need encouragement and moral support.
African languages have proverbs that benefit such situations.

Inkonjane yakhela ngodaka

(A swallow builds its nest with mud/

exercise patience and perseverance like a swallow does)

A swallow builds its nest with mud, having to bring a little bit of mud at a time
until the nest is finished. Cite two proverbs in your language which reveal an
exercise of patience.

Doing things for yourself

Proverbs in this category focuses on making people realize that they can contribute
to their own development. People must take the initiative if they want to be
successful, whatever it is that they are trying to achieve. These proverbs teach
people to learn to do things for themselves for their own benefit, and not to
expect others to do things for them. Emphasis is on attaining independence and on
teaching that each person should act for him/herself. These proverbs also point
out that nothing is to be gained by sheer laziness. The following are proverbs
that articulate this idea well.

Akukho nkwal’iphandel’enye

(No partridge scratches for another/

one must look after him/herself and not expect others to do what he or she should
do for him/herself).

Isikhova sidla ngeso laso

(An owl eats using its eyes/

people must learn to help themselves and not expect others to do things for them).

Understanding the proverbs of one’s own language encourages mutual understanding

among the community and a greater appreciation of traditional wisdom. Even today,
these proverbs help create reciprocal understanding between the old and the young
in a community.

An idiom is a form of expression that reflects the genius of a language and the
philosophy of the people. It is like the proverb in many instances. Like the
proverb, it is used figuratively. The following is an example of an idiom used
figuratively:

U vhulawa musanda. U vhidzwa nga vhamusanda.

(To be killed at the royal house. To be summoned by the killed)

In Tshivenda a person is not summoned by the king but killed. The king is feared
and respected by all his people. To show that the king is a respectful and fearful
person when he does not call a person but kills him or her. Another example is the
following:

U sia vhathu. U fa.

(To leave people behind. To die)

When a person dies in Tshivenda it is said that he or she leaves the people
behind. Vhavenḓa do not use the word die when there is death in a family.
According to the Vhavenḓa culture, it is only animals that can die, not people. It
is either the person who leaves the people or disappears.

4.9 Proverbs and Idioms

The function of idioms is almost the same as those of proverbs. These have been
better summed up by Smith quoted by Ntsanwisi (1965:110) who says that idioms
relate to aspects of life with which human beings are confronted in their everyday
life existence. These are said to be aspects of “… success and failure and above
all human relations the vivid attitudes and feelings of people intensely interested
in each other and their mutual dealings of approval, but largely disapproval,
friendly but more often hostile feelings, falling out, making up, rivalries and
over-reaching, chastisement and abuse.”

4.10 Language and Riddles

Here is some additional information about proverbs, idioms, and riddles. Riddles
are a specific type of proverb.

What do you know about riddles in your language?

Do you have riddles in your language? What are they called in your language? You
might have already noticed that riddles are part of your culture and of folklore.
Together with proverbs and idioms, they are stylised didactic prose. Do you agree
that riddles are stylised didactic prose? Stylised because they are embedded in
metaphoric language, and didactic because of their relevance to teach. In
African cultures, riddles are plentiful hence we get one term or more for a riddle
from each of the eight African languages offered in the department. In Xitsonga a
riddle is known as Ntayili or Xitekatekisani. In isiZulu, it is isiphicaphiwano;
imfumbe or impicabadala. To this list, others include isiqandelo and
ingqayingqayi. In Sesotho sa Leboa a riddle is a thai or nyepo. Thai is also used
by the Vhavenḓa, whereas Batswana use thamalakwane. In Sesotho, riddles are
dilotho, whereas in isiXhosa a riddle is an iqhina. In Chishona, it is referred to
as chirahwe (Zezeru) or chirahwe (Karranga), or chipari (Manyika).

Almost all African societies, the game of riddling takes place in the evening,
indoors, or outdoors around the fire. Participants are usually children as it is
specifically a game for children. The children divide themselves into groups that
compete. Everyone gets a turn to propound a riddle; usually, it is the one who has
just solved a riddle propounded by the preceding performer. Riddles play an
important though indirect role in the life of a child. On the face of it, their
main aim is to entertain, but it goes deeper than that. The value of riddles cannot
be underestimated. In terms of the Zulu language, they serve a very important
function in maintaining the high standard of the spoken language (Hadebe cited by
Wentzel (1980:73)). Riddles mould the language of the child. They involve
figurative speech which teams with artistic and colourful words. It is so
memorable for them to use them and pleasurable for them to hear them. Vilakazi
(1945:264) supports the above statement when he states:

In the same way as an elder is judged to be a clever man by his command of proverbs
in oratory, so are the young people considered clever by their command and
invention of riddles with which they test their company. Some of these riddles are
stereotypes, but as they allow an initiative in metaphorical usages, the children,
by giving play to their imagination and comparison of objects, can frame their own
riddles in the first part of the problem, the solution always remaining the same.
This may be the first step in story invention.

As indicated above, the game of riddling is entertainment for children. This can
be seen as they laugh heartily together, especially when one fails to give the
correct referent. Riddles stimulate the mind of the child. As he or she is asked
a question, he or she learns to critically think, observe, imagine, compare, and
assimilate things. The concepts he or she must identify are disguised or obscured
and he or she should be able to recognise and analyse them to grasp the correct
referent.

Through the game of riddles, children learn to be together in one family, i.e., the
African family. The game of riddling takes place when all the members of the
family are present. They serve to bring the people together as a social unit.
Whilst engaging in the game of riddling the members learn the norms of the family
and how to behave towards one another. The following Tshivenḓa riddle can be used
to illustrate this point:

Thaii! Tsha nkunda ndi lipo. Ndi damu la khaladzi.

(Guess! That which proves to be difficult to get is nearby. It is a sister’s

breast)

This riddle discourages people from getting married to close family members.
Children of the opposite sex, especially those of close family members, are
discouraged from having bodily contact as this can lead to intimate relationships.
According to the African culture it is not permitted for close family members to
get married. In order to communicate this moral code to the children, Vhavenḓa use
the cited riddle above. According to the riddle, a boy is not allowed to touch his
sister’s breast. A sister is not one’s sibling only, but any member of the family
who according to the African culture, is considered a sister, i.e., one’s father’s
daughter, one’s father’s brother’s daughter, and one’s mother’s sister’s daughter.
This is meant to avoid marriage by close family members. One can conclude that
boys are not allowed to have bodily contact with their sisters when they play,
hence they are not permitted to get married to their sisters. What is the
situation in your language? Do you have riddles with similar education?

Children learn to argue, agree, and disagree, accept defeat and beam with joy as
victors. In the process, they learn to accept each other. This is their social
and cultural significance. Apart from amusing children in the evening, riddles
serve to keep them intact morally. Riddles play a great role in the life of
people, very few cases of immorality occur where the game of riddling is practised
in society. This means that riddles inculcate a moral lesson, i.e., they have an
educative or didactic value. Let us consider the following Tshivenḓa riddle to
illustrate the above:

Thaii! Ṅwana u bebwa vhaloini a hulela vhaloini. Ndi lulimi.

(Guess! A child is born in a family of witches and grows up in a

family of witches. It is the tongue.)

This riddle teaches a person to endure a situation even if it is awful or difficult

to handle. In this riddle, a person is likened to a tongue which is found between
the teeth. A tongue can be bitten by the teeth at any time but will never cease to
exist between the teeth. A person is therefore encouraged not to run away from a
bad or difficult situation. Instead, he or she must try to solve the problem. Do
you have riddles that denote the same message as the one mentioned above in your
language? Provide a situation in your language where this proverb can be applied.

The conclusion we arrive at is that riddles serve a threefold function. Firstly,

they are a form of entertainment; secondly, they fulfil a very important social and
moral function; thirdly they play a very significant educational role.

As you think of more riddles, consider these points:

Identify ten riddles in your language and demonstrate their functions.

Show how the knowledge of riddles of other cultural groups can help to promote a
better interaction in a multilingual society.
Consider how riddles, as a form of communication, fulfil a very important social
and moral function.

Winding up Unit 4
Is this the end of the story?

From the discussion above, you deduced that each culture has certain knowledge,
valuable traditions, skills, ideals, and attitudes which give it a character, a
unique identity in the global society, and a certain moral philosophy. It is also
clear that each culture is characterised by certain livelihoods. You also learnt
that language plays an important role in promoting cultural elements in the
society. It is important at this stage to mention that knowledge about aspects of
the traditional life of a society is vital in promoting better relations.

At this stage, you know that forms of address, greeting and gestures differ from
one language to another. The knowledge of forms of address, greeting and gestures
of different languages in a multilingual society promotes wholistic relationships
among people. Through the knowledge of these aspects of language, one can interact
with people from other cultural backgrounds.

All nations live in a world in which religion plays an important role in their
life. In this unit, you learnt that each religion is embedded in the culture of
the community in which it is found. Language plays an important role in
communicating religious practices in a society. The knowledge of other religions
in a multilingual society is therefore important for one to co-exist with people of
other social groupings.

Another aspect of this interpersonal communication would also include gestures and
the nonverbal communication that takes place between people in our multicultural
society. Here is a link to a video that explains how different hand gestures can
be interpreted in different countries around the world, not just in South Africa.

Play Video

As this video showed, even if we think we are communicating in gestures, we can

make awful mistakes if we are trying to communicate across cultures.

Nations are characterized by moral codes which are in many instances communicated
through language usage. You learnt that African languages proverbs, idioms, and
riddles play an important role in promoting moral codes in a society. Language is
an instrument for initiating people into the life of a society. Proverbs and
idioms have a general educative role. They serve to encode and enact the
principles of life in society. On the other hand, the game of riddling is
important in instilling a moral code using figurative language. While children
learn a great deal about thinking, arguing, and articulating their language, they
also learn to co-exist with others and tolerate each other. A lack of these
aspects of Indigenous Knowledge Systems can be a hindrance to good communication in
a multilingual society. If one has a good knowledge base of the proverbial
language and figurative language of other cultural groups, one will find it easy to
address communication problems in an environment of a different cultural
background.