Self Awareness

and Emotional
Intelligence
 Role Play
• Five employees have been assigned to work on a project
and they are having difficulty working together and
completing tasks.
Five employees have been assigned to work on a
project together. Malini is the project leader and has
assigned the various tasks.

Manya is sitting at her desk and is very frustrated

because she just cannot understand her assignment.
She’s flustered, is sighing and slamming her pen down.
She asks Malini for an explanation of the task. Malini
comes over and says she can’t understand why Manya
is not getting this, especially since Malini has
explained it to her 3 times.
Mohit is sitting next to Manya and says to both Manya and Malini that he’s
told them he’d prefer to work on the spreadsheet that Manya is doing because
he is a detail person and that is his background and why they hired him. Malini
remains inflexible and tells Mohit that’s not the way the tasks were assigned
and they can’t be changed halfway through. Mohit just shakes his head and
continues looking down at his laptop.

Meanwhile, Monika and Mohan are chatting away while they are supposed to
be working on their pieces of the project. Monika is having a conversation with
Mohan about who they will invite out for dinner from the office.

Monika and Mohan begin talking about Manya saying she doesn’t understand
anything and they can’t believe she just sits at her desk for hours but doesn’t
get the project done. Mohan says Manya is so disruptive with her sighing and
slamming things around.
 Role Play Questions

1. Can you see this scenario happening in the workplace?

2. What could Malini have done differently?

3. Did Manya and Mohit express themselves in a

professional manner? What would you say or do that
would be more effective?

4. What can be done about Mohan and Monika’s behavior?

 Training Overview
• Definition of Emotional Intelligence
• Why it’s Important
• Misconceptions
• The Five Competencies: Self Awareness, Empathy,
Social Skills, Self-Regulation and Motivation
• Case Studies
• Strategies to Increase Skills
How Would You Define
Emotional Intelligence?
 Definition of Emotional Intelligence
• The capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of
others, for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions
well in ourselves and in our relationships.

• Includes five emotional and social competencies:

✔ Self-awareness
✔ Empathy
✔ Social skills
✔ Self-regulation
✔ Motivation
*Daniel Goleman - author of
“Working with Emotional Intelligence”
Why Do You Think Emotional
Intelligence Is Important?
 The Case for Emotional Intelligence

Schmidt, M. 2012
Image from talentsmart.com
 Misconceptions About
Emotional Intelligence
• It’s just about being nice to everyone and thinking positively

• It means letting emotions run freely, or being completely

robotic

• Women are better at it

• It’s connected with intellectual or cognitive abilities

• It’s fixed or genetic

 Self-Awareness
• Recognize your emotions early on and
their effects

• Know your strengths and limits

• Have a strong sense of self-worth and

capabilities
 Self-Awareness
Case
Study
Rahul rushed in and interrupted Tanya during a meeting to get
#1
information he had been waiting for. In a stressful-demanding tone, Rahul
stated that he hadn’t heard back from Tanya and he must have it before
the end of the day.

1. If you were Rahul, how would you handle this differently?

2. Should Tanya and/or the meeting members respond or say anything?

3. How do you think Tanya views Rahul’s behavior?

4. How do you think Rahul’s interruption was perceived by members of

the meeting?

5. How do you think this will effect Tanya and Rahul’s working
relationship?
 Self-Awareness Checklist
✔ Take time for mental pauses, introspection, and solitary reflection regularly
✔ Be attuned to and identify your emotions early on
✔ Accept that emotions are normal
✔ Exclude negative judgements
✔ Ask why
✔ Recognize how your emotions shape what you PERCEIVE, THINK, and DO
✔ Learn from your experiences and mistakes
✔ Recognize where you need to improve
✔ Be open to candid feedback and new perspectives
✔ Show a sense of humor and perspective about yourself
 Internal Dialogue
Irrational Thinking Realistic Thinking

"I would like him to treat me more respectfully

"He can't say that to me – but he's not doing it. So I'll just have to move
he has to give me more respect!" on from this. As there's no law that says he
must “treat me respectfully.”

"I absolutely must do well

on this presentation!"
VS "I want to do well, and I'll be well
prepared and do my very best on it."

"I have to give this "If I miss a line, it won't

presentation exactly be the end of the world.“ The concept
as it's written." is sound and well developed already."

Rewrite the thoughts that script your emotions

 Empathy
• Genuinely sense and understand people’s feelings and needs

• Actively listen to others perspectives

• Sensitive to group differences

It is something that you can learn at any age!

 Empathy Case
Study
Mark and Jolly are having a conversation at work. Jolly reports #2
to Mark.

“This situation I am dealing with has proven to be

especially difficult. It’s involved exceptionally long hours
and it’s really tested my patience and stamina. I feel like
it’s never going to be enough and my main workload is
Jolly starting to suffer. Frankly, I’m exhausted.” Mark
“Jolly, you know that we’re super busy right now and we’ve
had these crunch times many times before this. Everyone has
to go the extra mile here. I’m super-stretched too but this is
how it works here. If I can’t have two days off this weekend,
then we all have to grin and bear it. I don’t see any way I can
help you right now. And it might be some time before we get
back to normal. By the way… how far along are you on the
other project? It has to be completed by Monday.
 Empathy
Case Study #2 - Questions
1. What was Jolly trying to communicate to Mark, and what did she want from him?

2. What do you think was going through Mark’s mind?

3. How do you think Jolly reacted to Mark’s comments, and what will she think as a
result of this conversation?

4. How would you handle this differently? If you were Mark, what would you say
instead?

5. Do you think it’s possible to express too much empathy?

6. Is it possible to pretend to be empathetic?

7. How can you learn to be empathic even if it’s not your natural tendency?
 Empathy Checklist
✔ Acknowledge feelings first, and let the other person know they have
been heard (even if you can’t change the situation)

✔ View the situation from the standpoint of the other person

✔ Probe and listen to hear what’s important

✔ Verbalize and/or normalize their concerns

✔ Show you take the other person seriously by making eye contact or
nodding

✔ As a supervisor/mentor, give timely coaching, and offer assignments

that challenge and foster a person’s skills
 Social Skills
• Nurture instrumental relationships

• Build rapport and keep others in the loop

• Work with others towards a shared goal

• Find common ground

• Be persuasive
 Social Skills
Case
Study
Ena’s boss, Kitty, has asked that she partner with Roy, the#3
most negative employee in the department.
How should Ena respond?
1. Roll her eyes, sigh, and say “Okay, whatever.”

2. Ask her boss for strategies on how to collaborate best with Roy
based on his working style.

3. Have a discussion with Roy letting him know she doesn’t want
his negativity to affect the project.

4. All of the above.

 Social Skills
Case Study #3 - Questions

1. How could Kitty, Roy’s boss, approach him about his

negativity?

2. How could Roy help himself to be perceived as less negative?

3. How can Ena be more effective in dealing with Roy?

 Social Skills
True or False?

Having strong social skills and being easy to talk with

are both signs of high emotional intelligence.
 Social Skills Checklist
✔ Value others

✔ Balance a focus on task with as much attention to relationships

✔ Collaborate and openly communicate

✔ Promote a friendly, cooperative climate

✔ Share credit with team members

✔ Handle and influence other people’s emotions effectively

 Self-Regulation
• Managing disruptive emotions and
impulses effectively

• Flexibility in handling change and

challenges

• Being open to new information or

perspectives
 Self-Regulation Case
Amy receives an email stating that she will not be
Study #4
able to take vacation time when she requested it.
Amy kicks her desk and immediately turns to Jaya,
her co-worker that sits next to her and says loudly:

“I just received a nasty gram from that jerk in

benefits saying that I can’t take vacation time.
This is ridiculous! I am a senior employee and
should be able to take time off when I want
too! This sucks!!”
Jaya agrees with Amy, and they continue
discussing their complaints for a while – getting
more and more riled up.
Questions:
1. If you were Amy, how would you handle this? What about Jaya?

2. How do you think their conversation will effect the rest of the co-workers that can hear them?

3. What other consequences do you anticipate this can cause in the short and long term?
 Self-Regulation
Alternate
Case
Sandra, the director of the department enters the conference Study
room where several
employees are sitting and waiting to discuss a customer service issue. Sandra is visibly
upset with a red splotchy face. She begins with a litany of questions for everyone, and
doesn’t hold back.
What would be the best response by an employee:
1. Gaurav fumbles and stutters while trying to explain the reasons for the mistakes.
He blames another department for the issue.
2. Amy keeps quiet and hopes Sandra calms down soon.
3. Helen looks at Sandra and addresses her clearly in an even tone, acknowledges the
problem, and calmly explains the situation.
4. DK silently fumes and thinks of ways to get back at Sandra.

5. Rose defensively says “Sandra please calm down. This isn’t a big deal. Everyone
here works very hard with our customers, and I don’t understand why you are so
angry.”
 Self-Regulation
• Learn to balance between the rational and emotional
centers of the brain.
 Motivation
• Strive to improve or meet a standard of excellence

• Personal drive to achieve goals

• Show initiative and optimism

 Motivation
Case
Study
Lately Edward has been dealing with a#5
lot of changes
at work, de-moralized co-workers, and some personal
problems at home. This past week, Edward has
noticed that he hasn’t been his usual self, and that it
is probably impacting others. Edward reminds himself
that his role in the organization is really important,
and that many people depend upon him. This helps
Edward to begin to get back on track.

1. What are some other strategies that Edward can use?

2. What are the characteristics of a motivated person?

3. What can you do to stay motivated if there are

barriers like organizational change?
 Motivation Checklist
✔ Develop a sense of personal satisfaction/fulfillment from being interested
in what you are doing

✔ Seek out other motivated individuals

✔ Use realistic self talk and remind yourself of previous positive experiences

✔ Set challenging goals and take calculated risks

✔ Persist despite setbacks -- which are viewed as a manageable

circumstance

✔ Operate from hope of success

✔ Know when to access outside resources or help to get back on track

 Emotional Competencies
Successful Failure
Composed and calm under
Self-Control pressure
Moodiness and angry outbursts

Taking responsibility, fixing Acting defensive, covering up and

Conscientiousness the problem and quickly assigning blame
moving forward

Undermining the process and trying

High integrity and concern
Trustworthiness for others
to get ahead at any cost

Empathic, tactful and show Lack empathy, abrasive, arrogant,

Social Skills consideration and/or intimidating

Insensitive and manipulative

Cooperative and appreciate
Building Bonds diversity