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Male Dark Comedic Monologue

Charlie, a 19-year-old founder of a dating app called Instaffair, confronts his parents after discovering they used the app to have affairs, tearing the family apart. Charlie refuses to take blame and accuses his parents of being unable to accept they do not like each other. He argues Instaffair was created for "sleaze balls" to indulge fantasies, not for his parents to destroy the family. Though he mocks the idea, Charlie suggests on some level he may have created the app for his parents.

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Kayla Eisenberg
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3K views1 page

Male Dark Comedic Monologue

Charlie, a 19-year-old founder of a dating app called Instaffair, confronts his parents after discovering they used the app to have affairs, tearing the family apart. Charlie refuses to take blame and accuses his parents of being unable to accept they do not like each other. He argues Instaffair was created for "sleaze balls" to indulge fantasies, not for his parents to destroy the family. Though he mocks the idea, Charlie suggests on some level he may have created the app for his parents.

Uploaded by

Kayla Eisenberg
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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CHARLIE, 19, is the founder of a dating app, Instaffair (Instant Affair),

that allows married people/people in relationships to engage in affairs


with other taken people. A handsome genius, he has just returned
home from his first semester at Princeton (where he has joined a frat),
to find that both of his parents have actively been using this app, thus
tearing the family apart.
Here, CHARLIE is confronting his parents, who insist that his start-up
is to blame for the ruination of their marriage.
Fine! FINE. No, thats just fine. Ill take the fall for this one, guys. And
you know what? Ill tell Dr. Farber that once again, my own parents are
blaming ME for their inability to accept that they fucking cant stand
one another. Thatll go over really well, yeah, after ten years of family
therapy, hell be glad to know that this is how weve been progressing.
I invented an app, and this is how you show youre proud of me?
Rebecca ran off with her Buddhist boyfriend to join a fucking
commune, Brian is stealing Great Aunt Ritas medical weed to make a
profit, you two are using MY invention to cheat on each other, and
somehow, IM the basket case of the family. Instaffair wasnt created
so you could destroy our family. Instaffair was created for IDIOTS, for
sleaze balls like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty to satiate their
disgusting fantasies, so they can endure another agonizing roast beef
dinner with their dried up wives, wasting away in their huge fucking
mansions, popping Xanax after Xanax to escape the pathetic reality
that they are going to die without having contributed ANYTHING
worthwhile to humanity. Scum. (He looks out the window for quite a
few seconds, unable to face the inevitable consequences of his words.
He slowly, deliberately decides to continue. His demeanor is different,
a little American Psycho.) Maybe, on some level deep down (he uses
the air quotes, mocking himself, or maybe Dr. Farber) I did create it for
you, Mom and Dad. Whos to say? But you can tell Dr. Farber that
everyones doing fine. Were all really JUST fine.

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