Collected Poems

Sparks
Zain Mohammed
 PREFACE
How do I put this, I never thought this book would end
up in this format, I always knew there would be a
third book and I would release them as I did before
having just the new poems. But when I was writing the
last few poems of this book, I felt like I expressed
enough and there wasn't much left to say about the
short amount of life I've lived till now. So then came
the idea of grouping all the poems I've written,
whether released or unreleased and then move on to
something new.

As I went through my old stuff, I realised something,

they didn't feel up to the mark or maybe were too
childish rather, it said how much I've grown, although
there were some good ones in there as well.
Nevertheless, I still decided to keep all of them in as
they were.

The book is divided into three parts, the first part is

from my first book, 'This World of Ours', the
second is from 'Its Dark Outside' and the third is the
unreleased and newer stuff.
The Poems
part I
LITTLE ANGEL
INVISIBLE
SEASONS
This War of Mine
Rainbow
Sunrise
Joy
Hope
Views
PART II
monsters
headache
oblivion
it
black dove
badlands
silence
red planet
lies
twilight
birds of heaven
live
PART III
ATLANTIS
Epiphany
Elixir
GLITTER
Coffee
Curtain
10 Lines
bully
mother
Real.
RAIN
BEGIN
forlorn
 PART 1
THE
BEGINNING
 Little Angel
Little angel, moving about
In her cozy little world
There was no doubt
She swirled and twirled.

One day, she met someone

She thought she met the one
Until he entered her world
She no longer swirled and twirled.

Everyone could see it in her

face
She tried to hide
She left no trace
The little Angel lied.

Her world was in peril

For it was no longer lush
It grew dull and dull
The end was in a rush.

The devil never left

Little angel grew weak
Only so much she could weigh
From her world, she flew away.
Little angel, moving about
In her cozy little world
There was no doubt
She never swirled and
twirled..
 INVISIBLE
You were invisible to me
But you were my guiding star
I was so cold
Until you gave me warmth.

Little did I know

For I was naïve and stupid
You were always there for me
And I was never.

I was chasing the world

And you were right beside
You were the sunrise
When I was the twilight.

You gave me wings

When I was down
But when you needed me
I left you stranded.

You tried to forget me

But I was everywhere
I grew taller
and you shrunk.
 Not for moment I thought about you
When I reached the top
I realised, there was no one
All this was a momentary bliss.

I fell down to crutches

But it was too late
You already left
You were the epitome of all the things I was
not.
 SEASONS
Down by the creek you were
Where the daffodils blossom
and butterflies twinkle
Yet, you sparkled the most.

The lush trees swayed

Under the chilly breeze that was around
But your smile
Made me warm.

The sunshine peeped through the green canopy

Making your hair a golden crown
You were the queen of this place
Ruling over hearts.

But all this was leading to a storm

Your heart was ice cold
I was stuck in a snowstorm
Trying to find you.

As the trees shed

So did u
You were going in all directions
But none led to me.
I stood outside as it poured down
And on a Tuesday
While I was soaking wet
You broke my heart.
 THIS WAR OF MINE
One day he lived
The other day not so much
He tried to clutch
For all that was left.

He's sad, they said

He's depressed, they said
But it was so much more
Like a lion forgetting how to roar.

It was his oblivion

and he was alone
Like a spec of dust drifting through the cosmos
Infinite and zero at the same time.

For he was ruthless

He fought like a champ
Even on the hardest days, he never gave up
Over 3 years he fought the hardest war.

When everything seemed to be finished

A bleak light appeared
Everybody had given up
But he didn't a single bit.
 This war of his
Was against time
This was of his
Was cold and unforgiving.

Even the mightiest loose

And he was no exception
And when the water reached its limit
He drowned and gave up his life.
 RAINBOW
When the rainbow sprouts upon the open sea
When the oceans flushes down the golden sand
The sweet sound it makes
When it dances around and chimes.

As I sit upon the edge of the world

As the cold water gushes upon my feet
I start to think what could have been
While the light started to peer through my fragile
soul.

This is the prophecy

This is my destiny
As the light started to bleak
So did the light inside me.

They said I was their savior

They did not know
I felt as insignificant as the little bug
that crawls down the misty grass.

The human inside me died

The day I killed a human
It was for my country
I said to myself.
I still remember the moment I took away a soul
from this earth
I was 19 years old
14 humans died because of me that day
and they awarded me with a medal of honor.
 SUNRISE
As I sit atop these shallow hills
The breeze started blowing
The clouds started teasing
The mist started hazing.

As I stepped upon the green carpet

Chills flew through my soul
The aura surrounded these hills
As the first light escaped to the earth.

The Light forays the world into motion

It turns silence into chaos
But all the chaos turns into bliss
When you feel that crisp breeze of the chilly
sunrise.

All of the worries are lost

As I jump off that cliff into the abyss
With the sun behind me and this ocean in
front
I was on top the world when jumping down to
it.
 As my body embraced the cold
So did my soul
I was transported to another world
So close yet so far from home.

This world is so majestic

Waiting to be discovered
But the world is so busy with themselves
So naïve to know that everything is just
infront of them.
 JOY
I reminisced,
Being atop the green valleys of joy
As I stood on fire,
Broken.

Joy showers upon a 5 year old

When he opens up a present
A dollar for you
A million for him.

When life gives you flowers

Turn them into a bouquet
Because it doesn't take long to realise
The roses have thorn's in them.

Moments of joy are what we search for

Moments of joy are what we strive for
Moments like these are so fragile
We lose them before we cherish them.

One day you wake up

And it's all gone
All you could do think
Think what could have been.
 Every day we turn the wheel
where we live somewhere between joy and sorrow
Some days we wish we'd be eternal
Other days we wish we'd never exist.

This world we live is cruel

The world we live is unjust
But when you wanna turn the lights off
Just remember those joyous moments.
 HOPE
Hope is a funny little thing
We live off it
We thrive off it
Each day we hope for another one.

My mum always says, never loose hope

But what's to loose when there's none left
We look for hope
When we are the one's who abolish it.

They say money is root of all evil

I say human are inbred with evil
Those who fight evil everyday
Are the one's who are kind.

Light flushes the dark

Light gives us hope
The weapon of choice
To slay all the evils of the world.

Pile upon the misery

Of all the souls
Rain upon the showers of hope
On the most barren places you see.
Life is about living for others
Hoping for the best
Slaying our demons
In this once hopeful world.
 VIEWS
When I look at this world
All I see is destruction
But when I think about it
Isn't that what we are about.

Blue and Green is what we like

But when I look around, all I see is red
White is what we need
Black is what we embrace.

When I look at this world

All I see ego and evil overpower
But when I think about it
Isn't that what defines a man.

Love is what we like

But when I look around, all I see is hatred
Kindness is what we need
Cruelty is what we embrace.

This world is mine

This world is ours
But sometimes
It doesn't feel like it.
 They say happily ever after
They say light kills darkness
They keep you in this bubble
They deceive you.

This is what they want

For us to not think about it
For us to not care about it
We kill our humanity one day at a time

Sometimes I feel like giving up

For I could not bear the pain it gives me
But I don't deserve to go off so easily
You and I are responsible for this world
we dwell in.

It is in our nature
To kill and conquer
Man kills Man
To show he's courageous.

This needs to end

This needs to stop
We need to change
For what better we are than those
beautiful creatures that you call wild
beings.
 This world is full of views.
Open up your eyes
And let it loose
For you may be forever blind.
 PART II
THE
REALISATION
 MONSTERS
The world's gonna end
When I live this cruel life
everything's crumbling apart
and nothing's ever gonna be the same.

Everything I touch
Dies
I am in a cage
With the sins of my past.

The demons haunt me

As I close my eyes at night
The monsters under my bed come alive
As I fall asleep.

The devil calls out my name

As I step out of my room
It lures me in
Into it's unforgivable trap.

My soul is torn out

My body is ripped apart
My life is sucked out
While the devil laughed..
 HEADACHE
My heard hurts
When I think
The water blurts
When I blink.

I have my doubts
Am I going to break
I go on all the wrong routes
And I have a headache.

I don't have what it takes

I don't have the strength
This world is full of snakes
Always on the wrong wavelength.

This world tears me apart

And I'm unable to defend
This is the start
Start of the end.

What is life worth

Is it worth living
On this cruel earth
Hanging on to a string.
 This headache numbs me
Unable to feel
Unable to be
Unable to heal.

Am I ready to go
Am I so weak
Forever I may not know
The answer that is so bleak.
 OBLIVION
The world crumbles
Underneath my feet
As your shadow
Graces upon the crust.

Life is fragile
Your one touch
It falls down
And shatters into a thousand pieces.

When I look into the mirror

I see no one
Your presence,
Blurs me out.

You were the venom

I could not resist
I was so naive
To not know you were my oblivion.

Day by day you took control

So sly
But not a single time
I doubted you.
Piece by piece you broke my world
I was just standing here
And you were standing there
Inflating your ego.

Why did you do It,

Was the question I asked you
But you were too busy
Building your world of glass.
 IT
It is what you wished for
It is what you craved for
It finds you
At your worst.

It kills hope
It devours positivity
It comes alive when you close your eyes
It surrounds you when you're vulnerable.

It is everything you love

And everything you hate
It slowly takes you in
Absorbing you day by day.

You stop thinking

You stop feeling
You start falling
You start drowning.

It strips you of humanity

It obliviates you
And what it takes full control
It starts deceiving everyone around you.
 It hides inside you
It becomes you
And when it gains trust from everyone around you
It unleashes..
 BLACK DOVE
When I first met you I was 6 years old
Your blue eyes made the oceans jealous
When the wind flew through you
Life flourished
I was your first friend
But so much more for me.

People change people

and you changed me
Into someone strong,
Stronger than I ever thought
But I never realized
You were going weak.

As we grew up
We grew apart
You forgot me
But I could never
You were spiraling down all the wrong paths
and I could not keep you ashore.
 Do people break
I always thought
But that day
You broke into a thousand pieces
And I was just standing there
Watching as the darkness played with you.

You were the strongest person I knew

But you could barely stand
The fire was flickering
And the darkness was winning
You went cold,
colder than the arctic.

I could never forgive myself

The day when you looked me in the eyes
Tearing apart
Crying out for help
But I left
For I was jealous and stupid.

What does it take to turn a smile into a

frown
What does it take to turn a laugh into a cry
What does it take to turn the most cheerful
person blue
What does it take to turn the most lively
person suicidal
I guess I'll never know
For I never cared enough.
 I still have nightmares
and people show fake sympathy
They call you the girl who killed herself
But you were the girl who was never saved
Everyone just walked by
While you screamed for help.
 BADLANDS
I can hear the aircraft's at night
I can see fear and horror in everyone's eyes
I can feel the uncertainty
Not knowing we'll see the sun again.

I know I can be small

I know I can be significant
But I am a human too
And I have people I care about too.

Each day a part of my childhood is destroyed

The school I used to go to
The park I used to play in
The house I grew up in.

The air I breathe in is smoke

The ground I walk is rubble
All I see is pain and sadness
The gloom never leaves.

I do not now what my crime is

For I am paying for
I am in a prison
Locked forever.
 Sometimes I do not see the point
Why don't I give up
But each day I keep fighting on
For it was my mother's dying wish when she got
caught in that man made cloud.

Every night I close my eyes with hope

Hoping all this will end in the morning
Hoping to see my brother's and sister's face filled
with joy
Hoping to live a life.
 SILENCE
Silently, I see and observe
Silently, I see the world and think
What do I think
What can the mind comprehend
All I see is nothing
Is it too loud
Or is it silent
I can hear my heart beating
I can hear my blood flowing through my veins
But I am not so sure
What is real and what is not
Why do things happen to some
But not to others
Why is everything so different
When everyone is so similar
Silence
Silence
Silence
I am not allowed to question
I am not allowed to speak
Why does this world seem so alien
Why does this world seem not so right
Why is this world so evil
Silence
Silence
Silence
I am not allowed to question
I am not allowed to speak.
 RED PLANET
The water here is red
The trees here are dead
The air here is lead.

But I'm sure

Sure enough to find the cure
And it will lead into the lure.

I walk upon red rocks

With the metal hawks
Trying to build the correct blocks.

My grandfather saw blue and green

But I'm just a teen
Who never saw the sheen.

Sometimes I want to see

And I want to be free
But I'll never find the key.

I never see the light

And it is never bright
Just a meek starlight.

What is it like to feel

Not surrounded by steel
Not being in the Bastille.
I was born on a red planet
I live on a red planet
I will die on a red planet.
 LIES
Lies poison the truth
In this world which we live in
At times when we look for hope
We kill each other.

This life we have succumbed to

Is no better than not living
Why is this happening I wonder?

But I cannot fathom

How one's mind be this sinister
This cruel,
This inhuman.

The evil roams free

While we quarrel
Blaming each other
While the innocent are murdered.

This lust for power has been the eternal desire

For us trivial humans
For we are nothing but a spec a dust.

This world will remain in chaos and upheaval

Till they remain in power
Feeding us a web of lies
The perfect weapon to conquer the world.
 TWILIGHT
The sun begins to set
As you tread upon this mountain
You can't understand
Why this climb never ends.

You killed every monster you faced

But this one never seems to die
This one won't stop
It's kill or be killed.

It took away your hair

And It wants your soul
It's patient
And it's hell-bent.

This heinous killer turned your smile into a frown

This heinous killer made every day a bad one
This heinous killer wants you to give up
This heinous killer traps you into it's clutches.

I cannot forget your face,

When you cried for the first time
And I just stood there
Hating every bit of it.

.
 All I could do is be by your side
All I could do is stop you from giving up
And I know you can
As the sunset is the beginning of yet another sunrise.
 BIRDS OF HEAVEN
I know times are hard
And it is not alright
You feel like you wanna go away from here,
Away from everything.

I know these times are testing

And it's getting hard each time
But you gotta stay within
Feeling good about everything.

Don't you cry

It's gonna be alright
Those birds of heaven will come beneath
And fill you with your dreams.

Don't you frown

It's gonna be alright
These days are gonna be over soon
Just keep hanging on.

Life is about fighting each day

and never losing that smile
Because you lose hope
You lose everything.
 Don't you stop living
It's gonna be alright
Those bird of heaven will come beneath
And fill you with your dreams.
 LIVE
Life is what you make of it
Don't try too hard to fix it
Life is how you live
All you gotta do is help and give.

I always think life's too hard

And I'm always in the wrong yard
Am I too weak
Always too meek.

When I feel confident

I'm always blunt
Insecurities come rushing in
Onto my scarred skin.

I always act fake

To impress the snake
It fills me with venom
Until it makes me numb.

They say, beauty comes from within

And not from your pale skin
Who am I to say
I too am made of the same clay.
 Will this ever change
Will the world ever change
Always too critical
Always too null.

I too have fallen into this trap

And all of this is a of load crap
Live life way it's meant to be
Live, love and be free.
 PART iii
THE TRUCE
 ATLANTIS
The water trembles upon my touch
The sea screams my name
I know I'll drown
Yet I jump in
In search of something
Something that'll never be mine
Something that'll never be found
Buried deep beneath the realms of Atlantis
I feel the frost and the chill
As I descend upon the inevitable
The shining chest gives me false hope
And with each breath I miss
An echo of my past embraces me
Until there's nothing left
To say,
To see,
To feel.
 EPIPHANY
I was six
When I saw the open door
I ran from the bricks
Only find the boar.

I was out only a mile

But I was in denial
All I saw was an illusion
And there no one.

This world was nothing

It was all just dust
A kingdom without a king
Filled with rust.

I stood there
until they found me
In the cold air
And i could never be free..
 ELIXIR
I found my elixir
Hidden in front of me
At 3 AM, lonely and cold
Shivering from the misty breeze
Yet I kept walking
Trying to get away from the truth
Trying to get away from realisation and acceptance
But I couldn't ever get far
From the never ending spiral of life.
 GLITTER
How could I ever see
How could I ever feel
The universe exists
Never to be seen or felt.

As I went upstairs
I could see the glittering dots in that black sky
Colourful and Magical
Dark and Mystical.

I tried to write it down

But the words could never justify
The sight that was to behold
Could only be felt.

How magnificent and unfathomable

The sight in front of my eyes
Yet life goes on
Unnoticed and blind.

Just a blimp on this infinity

We exist
Our lives so insignificant
Yet we cause such a mess.
 How could I ever see
How could I ever feel
The universe exists
Never to be seen or felt.
 COFFEE
I saw you yesterday in the crowd with a coffee
in your hand
Trying to keep yourself warm from the snow
It's been 6 months since we last spoke
Yet when ever I see you, It starts all over again.

The life that we lived was so beautiful

Yet it never never felt like it
The cracks on that wall
Started falling apart.

You were laughing at that joke

With your friend by your side
The smile that you had
Was something that I could never give.

Your face was glowing

Without tears upon them
I tried to give you give you everything
But it could never be enough.
 CURTAIN
I woke up and looked at the sun-kissed curtain
The light peeped through when It moved
I sat up and moved the barrier
The wind ushered onto me and filled me with life
The ocean sang the songs
The chimes of nature that everyone forgot
I went out and
My skin touched the green,
My eyes saw the blue
The wind smelled of joy and innocence
This world seemed so real
This seemed life.
 10 LINES
What you said
I couldn't remember
In my mind, it's all a blur
A black and white rainbow
Is in my head.

A dark light shines in the sky

Filling me up with doubt.

I tried all I could

But you were nowhere near.
 BULLY
I feel awful
I can't say
They say me I'm no good
They say me I'm ugly
And I just absorb everything in,
Curling up,
Feeling nothing.

I can't achieve
I will fail
They surround me
Their sound knocks me down
Their words pin me down
Wounding me
Chaining me.

Every day, I try to hold on

But their cruelty is overwhelming
The sadists never stop
They keep enjoying this
With their standards so high
Untrekkable.
 Why do I feel
Why do their words hurt
One word shatters everything
Their lies more powerful,
Heinous,
Poisonous,
All I could feel is their words.

I want to go back
Go back to the life left behind
Carefree,
Joyful,
Lively.
 MOTHER
I remember being carried
I remember being hummed to
I remember my mother's face.

Light fell on me every day

Where I lay
And where I cried
But it was cold.

Don't cry grace

My mother comforted
Me and her
Alone in that tiny apartment.

But my tiny hands couldn't save

The misty eyes
and the bruises
she tried to hide.

But one morning

It was last time she held me
It was last time she fed me
Because after that morning she never came back.
 REAL.
I'll be honest with these words of mine
With all my might I write down
Not thinking.

These people tell me to stop dreaming and start

living
These people tell me it's all an illusion
These people tell me to be real
But my thoughts are as real as you are
and as strong as that smoldering mountain in
front of me.

What you fail to comprehend

is your words are bereft of life
and your presence
fills the world with poison.

Real.
is what I am.
 RAIN
The sunshine dwindled
across the vast green
Just a glass in between.

I always thought, what could be beyond

beyond this life
this life of en-slavery.

The droplets of water

raced itself
Never stopping.

The sun played hide and seek

With the clouds above
And underneath.

Breezy.
Overcast.
Misty.
Rain.
 BEGIN
I was infinity
The roads and winds flew beneath me

When I woke up
It was all gone

I tried all I could

But all was in vain

My life is over
Was what I thought

The end was just the beginning.

 Forlorn
The last rays of warmth
Falls upon my shoes
The canvas screams
Colours
The world slows down into sleep
As I stand on the cliff, alone
No one notices,
me,
my face,
my scars,
my fears,
and my insecurities
When the colours start to fade away
And darkness surrounds me
All I am left with is my breath and my thoughts
Enough to make me a human.
 THANK YOU
To each and every one of you who have
read this book and also supported me
through out this journey this past year.

Zain Mohammed