Boy last seen online on WhatsApp three hours ago: 17-year-old reported missing

Munich (dpo) - Huge worries about Niklas T.! The 17-year-old from the vicinity of Munich has been reported missing since noontime today. According to police, the pupil was last seen on WhatsApp three hours before by friends. Attempts to follow his traces in several WhatsApp groups have not brought any results so far.
Read more »

Disturbed man looks out of bus window and not at phone

Vienna (dpo) - What a scary sight! Numerous social media posts today revealed that a man was caught looking out of the window for several minutes on a bus in Vienna rather than staring at his smartphone like a normal person. The posts in question came from passengers who were worried by the episode as the man appeared to be deeply disturbed.
Read more »

Researchers discover remote rain forest tribe still using iPhone 7

São Paulo (dpo) - Completely isolated from the outside world – an international team of anthropologists has discovered an indigenous tribe in Brazil whose members are so underdeveloped that they still use the iPhone 7. To protect this ancient people from the harmful influences of modern civilization, the Brazilian Government refuses to disclose the Amazon tribe’s exact location.
Read more »

Yeti sights UFO

Himalayas (dpo) - Once again, the Yeti is causing a stir: in an interview with the Postillon, the legendary Abominable Snowman claimed he had not only caught sight of a UFO, but had also managed to take a photo of it with his mobile phone. He then went on to produce a blurred photograph showing some kind of flying saucer.
Read more »

Scientific sensation: chimp able to read The Sun

Oxford (dpo) - Are our animal relatives more intelligent than we had previously thought? Scientists from the Oxford Institute of Cognitive and Evolutionary Anthropology have now succeeded in teaching a 15-year-old chimp how to read and understand The Sun. Having read the paper, Coco the chimp, who takes about 30 minutes for a complete edition, is able to correctly reproduce the content of every single piece of news. PETA activists have been criticizing this experiment as animal torture.
Read more »

Court rules self-defence in GoT spoiler killing

St Albans (dpo) - A woman stood in St Albans Crown Court accused of manslaughter after killing her husband to stop him telling her what happens in a Game of Thrones episodes she had not yet watched. Today, the court ruled that she had acted in self-defence.
Read more »

Trump’s first bowel movement in White House twice the size of Obama’s, Press Secretary reports

Washington D.C. (dpo) - We knew Donald Trump wanted to go big, after all, ‘making America great again’ is no small task. Now, it seems he has delivered. The new White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced today to the gathered reporters of Washington, D.C., that the new President’s first official bowel movement was twice the size of Obama’s in 2009.
Read more »

Study: four out of five first person shooter gamers too fat for shooting spree

Berlin (dpo) - A new study initiated by the Department of Health and Justice was presented in Berlin today and could put an end to the hysterics about the dangers of so-called "first person shooter" once and for all. The study shows that almost 80 percent of all young consumers of first person shooters are too fat for a killing spree – and it doesn’t look good for the remainder, either.
Read more »