Every time I see some gamerbro edit of a female video game character to make her 'prettier', I always see something I have mentally dubbed Cockroach Wife Syndrome (in honor of the guy who accidentally conditioned himself to only be aroused by a fantasy of his cockroach wife Ogtha).

That is to say, there is a certain subset of gamerbro who interacts so rarely with real women, that his primary touchstone for how women look is fiction: often video games and anime. So when a video game woman looks too realistic--too close to having traits that one might find in real flesh and blood women--this is foreign to them. This is unattractive. They have been jacking it to hentai and blender animation porn for too many years, and have inadvertently conditioned themselves to only be sexually aroused by the exaggerated cartoonish traits of animated women.

So now every time I see one such edit, I can't help but think. My. What a coincidence you've made her look more like an anime waifu. Truly dedicated to your cockroach wife.

You can’t just breeze over something like “the guy who accidentally conditioned himself to only be aroused by a fantasy of his cockroach wife Ogtha” without at least linking a 20 minute video breakdown of this man’s descent into madness.

Oh is Ogtha not common knowledge? Eight years ago this was posted on reddit:

Two years ago, we got this update on the life of this roachfucker:

TLDR it's a guy who became obsessed with human-sized roaches with human intelligence after reading Kafka in high school, an obsession which eventually came to monopolize his romantic interests (and has sporadically had catastrophic impacts on his life ever since).

what the fuck happened to my post

This little Muffin, for context:

-And I agree, Ryou Bakura is like the holotype specimen of Blorbos. He's got all the features:

1. Absolutely impenetrable lore to anyone not familiar with the series:

• Only sort of a main character
• If you are unfamiliar with Yugioh and try to look up his name the lore is only going to make you more confused. For starters, there's three Bakuras and at least one of them is a lovecraftian demonic entity who attends high school. Good luck.

2. Tagged in shit that makes absolutely no sense:

• If you only know about him through a mutual-in-law, the extreme variety of shit that gets tagged with him (Fancy Desserts, Demonic Possession, Memes about the British Upper Class) is extremely confusing

3. Very Shaped:

• somehow both round and pointy
• Has the same vibes as a plush toy that gets lovingly set on the bed or rent to shreds by a rottweiler
• Blorbos often have one VERY obvious trope in thier visual design and Bakura expresses the very popular White-Haired Anime Boy phenotype.

Truly, a perfect example of the clade.

Hey are you okay?

When I was little I did this with the alien and later with velociraptors. They only noticed me if I moved too much.

Fun fact: if you do something like this by consciously holding yourself still (i.e. "pretending to be asleep") while tired but in your mind imagine yourself singing along to a song —not just "hearing" the song in your head but also imagining your lips moving while making sure your actual lips aren't moving— by the time you finish a song or two your body will have fallen asleep and switched into autopilot but your conscious mind will still be awake. Congratulations, you've tricked yourself into sleep paralysis!

The first thing you'll notice is that you're trying to breath manually but can't so you'll think you're suffocating but because your sense of time is distended you're just experiencing a tiny fraction of a second without oxygen in slow motion. No worries though, your brain and body will sync up again to trigger panic mode and jolt you awake once it thinks you're dying. You can now trick yourself into this state basically any time you want. Have fun!