The Crunchyroll Anime Awards is the sole authority that determines the top quality of anime, separating the good from the bad. It is thanks to this Augustus body that enlightens and helps us watch only quality anime. Because, to be honest, it is no secret that the average consumer of anime is too retarded to come up with their own evaluations due to their inevitable short attention spans. Therefore, the Crunchyroll Anime Awards exist for this very reason; to be a Sheppard that leads the blind sheep towards salvation and opens their eyes to only the finest anime that the industry has to offer.
Of course, it is also no secret to the average anime connoisseur that there is no point for them in observing these awards to begin with, whether they have short attention spans or not, since the winner of every single award will undoubtably be, the one, and the only, GREATEST ANIME AND SHOW OF ALL TIMES AND ALL LIFETIMES!!!!!!
*drumroll* GIIIINNNNNTTTTAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMAAAA!!!!! There is NO WAY for such a masterpiece of masterpieces to ever lose!!!!
I shall now bear witness to the nominations of the latest Crunchyroll Anime Awards, to prove this absolute truth. By doing so, I can confirm once and for all that nothing has, or ever will, surpass Gintama, and I can quit anime forever. I have no need to be concerned; Gintama will be nominated for everything:
*sees Crunchyroll 2018 Anime Awards nominees. Doesn’t see Gintama 2018 nominated in the main categories*
Oh dear, oh my, what is this? Gintama wasn’t nominated for anything?
Are you telling me that Gintama’s godlike characters lost to typical self-inserts and waifus? Its grandiose plot decades in the making, couldn’t hold a finger to forgettable slice-of-lives, petty comedies or shallow demon nonsense in Anime of the Year? Its blockbuster choreographed fight scenes lost to low budget sakuga animation? The greatest anime film ever, Gintama: The Movie: The Final Chapter: Be Forever Yorozuya, wasn’t nominated, but the usual slice-of-life and superhero movies were??????
Bb-b-b-ut wait, perhaps I have been observing incorrectly, since I also have a short attention span like the rest of humanity. Let me observe a teensy-weensy bit closer to see if it was nominated for anything:
*sees Best Continuing Series. Doesn’t see Gintama at all*
Crunchyroll Anime Awards: For pete’s sake, Gintama didn’t receive any nominations. So, could you please stop looking at me?
NANI!!!!!!!!!!! B-B-B-B-B-B-AAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
(◔_◔)
As you can deduce, I was being sarcastic. In reality, the Crunchyroll Anime Awards is just a meaningless popularity contest.
Since the Crunchyroll Anime Awards only award popular shows (aka the anime that are mainstream, are talked about and appear to be good), Gintama (2018) should have at least been popular enough to get into the Best Continuing Series, since it not only meets the criteria, but three of the continuing shows have long since ended. Yet it did not.
For the sake of argument like in the above scenario, let me pretend that the Crunchyroll Anime Awards was awarding quality:
Gintama is known to be a masterpiece of every genre, every story trope, every character trope, every animation technique, every art technique and every direction technique. Simply put, Gintama is the pinnacle of anime and the entertainment medium; the supreme 10/10 anime and entertainment experience that only comes once in a lifetime……..and yet, here we are at the Crunchyroll Anime Awards of 2018; Gintama wasn’t nominated for anything.
“Why’s this?” How can this be?” you are probably wondering. If Gintama is perfection, it should have been nominated for everything and win everything. Yet it did not.
Gintama should be the pinnacle of entertainment, not only in anime, but in every entertainment medium; Gintama should be a show that has universal praise, in both popularity and quality. Yet for some reason:
No one praises it, and no one talks about it.
The answer to this is simple. I can sum up the popularity and quality of Gintama in two words:
Wishful thinking
Gintama came out during The Big Three Wars more than a decade ago. It was difficult to be in the spotlight when the Big Three were hogging all the glory and had legions of fans begging to their every whim. There were many people left out and needed something to make them stand out, that shows their disdain for The Big Three by making fun of them, regardless of whether it had quality. Gintama was the answer; a show that had the potential to out shadow shows that outshone everything. All the praise for Gintama dates to this era; people who wanted to stand out by making it seem like the show they were praising was of masterful quality.
These people wanted to believe Gintama was a masterpiece because simply being this “masterpiece” that made The Big Three and everything else completely inferior, was pleasing for them in their minds…yet, it is far from a masterpiece, neither is it good. Gintama is a parody that doesn’t parody anything, mock anything nor does it have much comedy, or a plot for that matter.
Art, Animation and Sound
At one point in its lifetime, Gintama did have some consistent quality in its art and animation which was aesthetically pleasing to look at: Battles were nicely animated and brutal, the males had lots of bravado and the females were simply asking to be laid. Fast forward to this iteration of Gintama, I can only think of one statement to sum it up: Toei Animation level of awfulness; still images in battle that are all bark and no bite, males who devolved into pansies and the females who are in desperate need of anti-aging cream. Well, it’s not difficult to see why Gintama’s art and animation dropped to the bottom of the Earth, because the masterful Gintama is animated by, the one and the only great studio in existence, SUNRISE!!!!...the mecha trainwreck studio. Again, at one point, Studio Sunrise was full of creativity, but it has been brain-drained over many years to the point the only things they can properly animate are the pieces of their past. Gintama wasn’t included in that stimulus package, unfortunately.
The actual reason people like the show isn’t for its art or animation, it’s the soundtrack. In the beginning, Gintama was full of blood-pumping, adrenaline shooting and male masculine music, especially its openings. In its early life, going into an episode was a warm welcome for bloody brutal battles. Using a fast-forwarding device, this iteration of Gintama’s music is…a fart in the wind.
Story and Characters
Refuses to grow up
As previously stated, Gintama doesn’t parody anything since it doesn’t mock anything; it references them. Whenever you see a Weekly Shonen Jump title in Gintama or another title from the entertainment medium, it’s nothing more than a reference; it simply states the show’s name, and then moves on. And this happens dozens of times to the point I was desperately hoping for the show to give a middle finger to these Weekly Shonen Jump titles…instead, I was giving the middle finger towards Gintama for making such meaningless references. So, in reality, Gintama isn’t a parody but a referential comedy which is a low-type of humour. How ironic that a show which is supposed to make fun of The Big Three to stand out doesn’t make fun of them and only references them superficially by name. A major flaw in any parody.
Would you like to know the pinnacle of Gintama’s references towards the end of it? Dragon Ball references. After 366+ episodes/700 chapters, the pinnacle of the master’s references is limited to only the monarch of battle anime despite these inconsequential references getting old in the first 80 episodes. How disappointing from the masterpiece of everything; I thought the show was capable of cracking at least one mocking joke or jab at the Battle Shonen demographic in its dozens upon dozens of episodes. Or at least capable of making one mocking statement regarding the battle anime monarch’s power levels.
There isn’t anything funny about referential humour; its basically “Hey, there are the Dragon Balls. Go summon Shenron”. It doesn’t mock anything, nor does it have anything else to say about it. Rather, it makes shows incapable of standing on their own since they must rely upon famous titles to stand out. In Gintama’s case, these references make it embrace the stupidity of the battle shonen demographic, thus preventing it from ever making fun of the shows it failed to mock. To make this clearer; why would you laugh at a cosplayer for dressing up as a Weekly Shonen Jump title character or any other fictional character from another medium? You wouldn’t, because there is nothing funny about laughing at a human being for dressing up as his/her favourite character and trying to improve his/her craft in the art of cosplaying, nor would you laugh to begin with; you would simply say “Hey, you’re dressed up as <insert fictional character here> from that <insert anime/show here>. Cool.” That’s what Gintama can also be summed up as; a cosplayer that dresses up as every fictional character limited to only Weekly Shonen Jump titles, just so it can make people can look at it…but the people who look at it only smile upon recognizing the titles its wearing, and the reason they don’t laugh is because there is nothing to laugh at just seeing a popular title’s name.
Unfunny Comedy
If you for some reason you didn’t like the parodies-but-are-in-reality-petty-references, no need to fear, Gintama is also a comedy…but for some reason, isn’t a comedy. Why is this? Maybe because the only so-called comedy the show is capable of are penis jokes, fart jokes and toilet humor…and at the show’s pinnacle are penis jokes, fart jokes and toilet humor, even though they became trite in the first iteration of Gintama’s 50 episodes. Need to see a banana mistaken as a penis up a gorilla’s ass, someone farting or poor potty toilet jokes? Look no further, Gintama is full of faeces. Ah, yes, let us not forget about the anal bleeding blood which is the best the show can offer, because all the other comedy that the show offers was given the short end of the stick. What astounds me the most, is that this potty humor material is censored or pixilated when it’s supposed to be aimed at a mature audience of extremely good taste, yet its censored out as if it is aimed for pre-school kindergarten children.
All this low-tier petty comedy is repetitive and regurgitated throughout, which I suppose is another reason Gintama is considered a masterpiece of comedy; it never changes, so its comedy can never disappoint. In my case, it never changed its low-tier comedy nor improved to something that can be laughed at, which only left me shaking my head in disappointment.
Indecisiveness between plotless or plot
After all this talk about this show’s low-tier humour which never improves, I haven’t had the chance to talk about Gintama’s plot…that only begins 300 episodes in. The episodes before are in-canon filler, so you must watch all that filler because the show only gets good after 300 episodes. Gintama’s treatment of its audience = Retardation.
And henceforth, this is probably Gintama’s major flaw; being unable to decide whether it’s a plotless comedy or an ongoing plot with comedy. Instead, it decided that it wanted to be both. The result is filler arcs and “serious arcs”. Gintama is often praised for being able to shift between comedy (its fillers) and its drama (the “serious” arcs) without any tonal whiplash…except Gintama does a lackluster job at shifting between comedy and drama/plot because it never subtly builds up its shift; one moment characters are playing around and the next moment, you are supposed to take them seriously at the drop of the hat without giving the viewer any time to prepare themselves for the shift in tone. But I suppose this isn’t an issue and can be praised…since the drama only begins after 300 episodes, so the viewer is given plenty time to prepare themselves for the shift in tone.
Gintama’s so-called plot after 300 episodes is about saving the shogun Shige Shige from being assassinated with everyone trying their damn hardest to prevent it. This could be some good drama…if the person being assassinated in question wasn’t treated like trash throughout the show. The viewer is supposed to care about Shige Shige, a guy who was trashed upon and made fun of by the show’s characters in the in-canon filler episodes as well as being unable to properly do his job…but the show expects the viewer to suddenly care about him and cry for him after he kicks the bucket, then his replacement Nobunobu treats everyone in the show like trash, and also expects the viewer to suddenly care for his redemption and also cry for him after he kicks the bucket? Once more, Gintama’s indecisiveness on whether it wants to be a plotless comedy or a drama/ongoing plot with comedy as well as its inability to tonally shift between comedy and drama, completely ruins what could have been great drama.
Then we get to the war between the Earthlings and the allied alien races orchestrated by some immortal illuminati; this part is the culmination of everything wrong in Gintama. The war has comedic moments as if it wants to be a plotless comedy and it also has a dramatic war about the Earthlings surviving against the allied aliens’ attack using comedy as a beacon of hope, as if it wants to be a drama/plot with comedy. All this tonal shifting makes it impossible to give a damn about anything. Speaking of the immortal illuminati, known as Utsuru, he is utterly lame; despite his convoluted masterplan over centuries in the making, being impervious to practically everything, having centuries of more combat experience, and having the power of nihilism on his side (aka, having the power of no f*cks to give), he is defeated anti-climatically by what could hardly be called, foot soldiers. Despite this war causing collateral damage…everything returns to the way it was; everything is still the same, as if the show never had any world-building to begin with (not that it had any). Wow…what a masterpiece…. HAHAHA, I rate this awfulness 10/10.
Then again, I’m hardly surprised, since Gintama embraces the run-of-the-mill battle anime formula instead of mocking them, so it can only afford to be as bad as them.
Mouthpiece Caricatures
For some reason, I have yet to talk about Gintama’s cast of characters. It would have made more sense to talk about the characters alongside the comedy because comedy should be derived from the characters themselves, correct? The answer to this question is simple…none of the characters create comedy based on their character profiles; they overreact to the humourless Weekly Shonen Jump references and low-tier potty humour. The show never bothers to use the characters’ personalities to create comedy or make a joke. To make sure the viewer is following the so-called comedy, the characters must explain the jokes, as if the show knows its audience are retards and must hand hold them so they don’t accidentally wet themselves.
As for the characters themselves…there’s Shinpachi, who can only overreact to everything his colleagues do. Kagura, who can only be cute. The Shinsengumi whose only job in the entire show is to go after the same three criminals in the in-canon episodes to the point that I agreed with Nobunobu’s “Good riddance” attitude towards them.
It appears that I have run out of facts to talk about the cast of Gintama’s characters, mainly because they remain static throughout the show and never get character development…wait, there is one fact and trait that I can talk about which defines the entire Gintama cast:
Nakama speeches. In most battle anime, you will often hear the protagonist say, “I will protect mah nakama!” But in Gintama, every character can give pseudo-philosophical nakama speeches, where they would say: “A villain crushed your dreams? Don’t fret, thy nakama, you have all the time in the world to dream new dreams that will dream up a way to dream away the crushed dreams. Till then, live your hopeful life. For it is the gift of life that will keep rewarding you better dreams towards the end.”
This is what truly defines Gintama’s cast and why people think it is a masterpiece. All this pseudo-philosophical nakama speeches (or as they are called in layman's terms, colorful sermons from the Gospel of Gintama) fooled them into thinking that the show they were watching is smarter than it seems, when it is nothing more than colourful dialogue. Thanks to the colorful dialogue, these pseudo-philosophical nakama speeches look smart, only because most run-of-the-mill battle anime goes for the same trite and overused “I will protect mah Nakama”, so anything that looks different is automatically better and therefore “good”. It is a nice pace of change Gintama does, since it gives more flavor and identity to each battle and struggle…too bad just like the referential humor and petty potty humour, it is also repetitive and regurgitated in many, many episodes to the point that it becomes no different than the typical overused nakama speech.
I could talk about the backstories Gintama’s cast has…but they are the same sob stories that are also repetitive and regurgitated in dozens of episodes.
Sugar-coated Main Character
So, the entire cast of Gintama’s characters are solely defined by the pseudo-philosophical nakama speeches they give; I suppose that’s a bit better than the typical supporting cast of side lined characters…oh, wait, I have yet to talk about the main protagonist of Gintama. After all, main characters are the meat or focal point of any story, where the viewer will learn from the experiences the main character faces. Now, low and behold! The reason Sakata Gintoki is considered the GREATEST MAIN CHARACTER AND CHARACTER OF ALL TIME IS:
A bit older. That’s it, that’s the main appeal behind this character; Gintoki is around 20-23 years of age, so he is automatically more mature and thus 100 billion times better than any other fictional being in existence. Gintoki was a man traumatized by his tragic past which takes hundreds of episodes to get to, but since he is the main character, his sob story is automatically fresh, original and all the time it took for the viewer to find out about the main character’s backstory is automatically excused. Gintoki mainly enjoys eating sugary substance, taking naps, avoiding financial problems and suffers from drinking and gambling addiction. Gintoki is also super strong, since he can trample hordes of enemies and overpower everyone and everything. Such a brilliant character profile befitting the exultant one, right? But don’t worry, there is more to Masterpiece Gintoki than those boorish and boring personality traits. After all, nobody watches Gintama for fleshed out and developed characters. No, because he is the main character, Gintoki’s pseudo-philosophical nakama speeches are top of the line and automatically have more effect than the typical pseudo-philosophical nakama speech. I suppose this is the real reason people think this character is 100 billion times better than anyone else, in fiction or reality. Of course, Gintoki cannot stay this way; he must get character development from all the suffering he has endured in the so-called plot. So fast forwarding 350 episodes, what is he like now:
The same guy as before. Gintoki still suffers from the same addictions, still has the same outlook on life since the beginning and still does the exact same things. Except now, he is more annoying, no thanks to his endless vomiting, yelling at people and doing hardly anything anymore, beside making his pseudo-philosophical nakama speeches. This is character development, according to the masterpiece Gintama; never changing, never learning and never finding new things to enjoy. Again, since nothing in Gintama ever changes, it can never disappoint.
Fights?
The main course of any battle anime is its fight scenes, so Gintama, being the masterpiece of everything, has blockbusting fight scenes of extraordinary caliber…if you believe two dudes smashing their dongles/wooden swords at one another until they bleed to
Oh, wait a second. There are no speculation or theory crafting videos about Gintama fights. Why is this?
Because Gintama fights, have zero substance.
Overall Analysis
I stated Gintama is wishful thinking, because people believe in their heads that it is a masterpiece of everything, just so it can please them…yet in reality:
• Art, animation and sound that was once good becomes awful.
• Referential humor that can never mock anything because its referential.
• Low-tier toilet humor that is puerile and never improves.
• In-canon filler that MUST be watched for no reason.
• “Plot” begins ONLY after 300 episodes.
• Inability to decide on being plotless or having a plot/story.
• Static characters who don’t provide comedy based on themselves and only defined by pseudo-philosophical nakama speeches.
• Static and sugar-coated snowflake main character that never improves.
• Predictable fight scenes that never improve ever, because they only consist of people hitting each other harder.
• Every bullet point above is rehashed, repetitive and regurgitated.
So Gintama isn’t a masterpiece of everything after all; it’s just another long-running battle anime that is doomed to suffer the same terrible fate as the rest of them. All this praise of masterful 10/10 quality, supreme anime and show of all times…was all just make-believe wishfully thought into existence.
Whenever someone praises Gintama as the greatest thing since sliced bread, is nothing more than wishful thinking and bears no merit whatsoever, because their praise isn’t grounded by facts from the show. Because, these people do not want to accept that their “masterpiece” became worse as the years dragged on. And wishful thinking was their coping mechanism to deal with this trauma.
“BUT IT’S A PARODY. EVERYTHING IS EXCUSED” is the common, petty defense fans or anyone else who likes the show will put forth first; they use this “parody” excuse since there are no good facts, they can find in Gintama to backup their reasons for the show being good, because the show isn’t good. And honestly, said “parody” excuse has no merit since the show doesn’t parody anything, more so when said show is divided into “serious” arcs where everything must be taken literally, so whatever nonsense that happens within these “serious” arcs, is actually bad writing.
But I understand this frustration from the die-hard fans of the show; its difficult to accept that something you thoroughly enjoy, isn’t good anymore. I too saw the immense potential the show had as it could have been the supreme abridged show that parodies fiction and life itself…but every potential good moment, was ruined by some poor potty humor, lame Weekly Shonen Jump reference or eye-rolling fight scene. Even if it had realized its potential, Gintama is a long-runner, so it would have run out of steam anyway.
Also, watching just one Gintama season in your lifetime, doesn’t resolve its issues since its overarching-style prevents you from seeing the season as self-contained, all because it never decided whether it wanted to be a plotless comedy or an ongoing plot with comedy; it wanted to be both.
Gintama is a wishful thinking cosplayer that believes itself to be the pinnacle of entertainment because it is pointing out every flaw in the story book and mocks them, just so it can trigger people into looking at it, while also having an incredible storyline with a wonderfully fleshed out cast…
but the truth in reality, Gintama is a shallow cosplayer that people grew tired of looking at because they’ve seen the same titles spewed in their faces hundreds of times, and stopped looking at it since it never bothered to say anything interesting about the titles it was cosplaying as; all because it was too busy deciding whether it should be a plotless comedy or an ongoing plot with comedy.
Gintama in a nutshell:
Evil Gold Wielding Antagonist: TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Silver Eyed and Haired Protagonist: Hark and laugh till dawn, villain. It will not serve any purpose. Your gold is immense; this fascist fact I cannot deny or defy. You may own all the material wealth in the universe, you may own all materialistic and living things, you may decide justice on any grounds, you may control the very fabric of nature, and you may screw all the rules.
But know this, two-faced felon; your gold…has no weight. It has no value. The two silver balls I hold…are small, compared to your enormous opening; this is the absolute truth. However…these silver balls…have more value and weight than all your gold put together! These silver balls are HARDER than any known gold! They were forged through the valour and grace of thyne fallen comrades!!!
I WILL UNLEASH THE LONG AND HARD SILVER ROD OF RECREATION FROM WITHIN THESE BALLS TO PUT AN END TO YOUR DESPOT REIGN!!!!! I WILL USE THESE SILVER BALLS AND SPRAY YOUR TAINTED GOLD WITH THE CLEANSING SILVER LIQUID OF RELIEF!!!! AND ONCE THIS WORLD IS FREE FROM THE WHIFF OF WEALTH, I SHALL USE THESE BALLS TO BIRTH NEW SOULS!!!!!!!!!! I WILL ENSURE YOUR ECONOMIC DOWN LOOK OF HUMANITY NEVER TAKES ROOT EVER AGAIN, FOR I SHALL SACRIFICE THYSELF AND SPREAD THE BRONZE EARTH ONTO THIS WORLD AND MASK IT INTO A STENCH YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND!!!!
Silver Eyed and Haired Protagonist: *takes out Silver Rod of Recreation from the silver balls*
Silver Eyed and Haired Protagonist: FACE THE SILVER SERVANT OF THE SILVER ARTS, WIELDER OF THE POWER OF AG!!!!!!!! TROLL YOURSELF, BACK INTO THE DEN OF DEBT!!!!!!!
YOU!!!!!! SHALL BE!!!!!! RETRENCHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Silver Eyed and Haired Protagonist: *jumps into air and shoves Silver Rod into Evil Gold Wielding Antagonist. Evil Gold Wielding Antagonist explodes*
Evil Gold Wielding Antagonist: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
*someone wakes up*
Cosplayer: Woah, what the- oh, yeah, I fell asleep.
*Cosplayer surveys his surroundings. Realizes he is in a toilet stall, sitting on a toilet*
Cosplayer: Damn, that was an awesome dream! Too bad it was all in my head…
*Cosplayer sighs. Gets up, flushes toilet and his disappointment along with it. Cosplayer exits stall*
Tl;dr – Gintama is a flawed design. It could have been this “masterpiece” that people made it up to be in their heads since it was being quite more than the typical battle anime, if it had far fewer episodes, was parodying the genre and decided on being a plot with comedy…but this would only happen in another reality, because in our reality, Gintama is just another mediocre long-running battle anime that overstays its welcome since it has too many filler episodes, never parodies, never improves its low tier comedy and never improves its characters, plot or decisiveness from day one because it rehashes, repeats and regurgitates everything to the point they become boring. Gintama embraces the awfulness of the battle shonen demographic and ends up just like the rest of its ilk.