There is so much I love about my new home. The size, the layout, the view...location, community, and most of my neighbors. But nothing is ever perfect, is it? Except that what was at one time slightly annoying has become harassment and unpleasant.
From the first month after we moved into our new home, I noticed that one of my neighbors would play music pretty loudly. Not overly obnoxious, but loud enough that I could hear it throughout the day. At first I thought it was a teenager, because it was one rap song playing all day on repeat. It was just the kind of thing young kids do whenever they really like a song. In time, however, I realized there was one person living there: a gentleman, in his 50's in my estimation. It seemed odd that a grown man would be playing one rap song over and over, even when he wasn't home. I attributed it to him wanting it to sound like someone was home whenever he went out, though it continued to play even whenever he was home.
One of my neighbors saw me one day and asked how I was liking my new home. I told her I was getting used to living in a townhouse, since I'd lived in a single family home for over 19 years. I mentioned not being accustomed to the sounds and music, and she immediately stopped me. Turns out the lady who sold the house to me had problems with this same gentleman because of all his noise. Apparently the problems escalated to the point that she decided it was better to leave her home of 23 years than to put up with a troublesome neighbor. She had thought his problem was mainly with her. I wanted to believe the same thing. I don't like judging people based on their experiences with others. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
As time progressed the music became louder and would go on longer. Other neighbors also asked if I'd met or had problems with this gentleman like the prior owner had. I resisted any gossip and simply said I had not met him. Even the air conditioning technician who came to clean the lines for my air conditioner asked if I was having issues with this neighbor. I couldn't believe how many people knew about this situation! Still, I didn't want to take his behavior personally.
In January our church did a 21 day prayer and fasting. We were asked to give up something and use the time to pray for different things. We had a list of options but of course we could pray for anything we felt called to. I decided to pray for this neighbor. I put aside all social media and began praying earnestly that God would give this man peace and heal him from any hurts. He seemed to me to be very angry and bitter, and I prayed that God would take his pain away from him. Whenever he played his music loud I would play worship songs. It was an ordeal; I felt like the more I prayed the more agitated he became. Then during the Martin Luther King Jr. weekend, the music stopped completely. I figured he had gone away for the long weekend, but even when he came back he didn't play his music all day long, and when he did it was for a short amount of time. I praised God for this breakthrough and continued to pray for him. Life started to calm down and I was enjoying my home more and more. Then the pandemic hit.
My neighbor is a school teacher, so whenever our state issued the stay at home orders he stopped working. Since he is a physical education teacher he doesn't have a classroom per se, so he wasn't teaching from home like many other teachers. It wasn't too bad at first; the music became more frequent but not as frequent as it had been whenever we first moved in. As time went on, however, things began to worsen.
One Sunday in August I was in my kitchen preparing breakfast when I began hearing pounding on the walls. My first thought was that my neighbor was fixing something in his home, though why he would choose Sunday at 9:00 in the morning was beyond me. The pounding was not consistent with hammering, though. It was just a strong, rhythmic pounding that went on and off for about an hour. At 10:00 I sat down to listen to my old church's service. At 11:00 am there was a loud knock at my door; actually, it wasn't a knock, it was pounding as loud as what had been going on earlier on the walls. I jumped and ran to the door, thinking there was an emergency, or maybe the house was on fire. No, it was my neighbor, telling me to stop making noise. I looked at him in total confusion. I answered, "That wasn't me, I thought it was you!" But he'd already turned around and stormed away before I was finished speaking. I called out to him that it wasn't me but he ignored me completely. I was so shaken after that, it took almost an hour before my nerves calmed down. I sat in my office playing solitaire to try and relax; then at noon the pounding at my door returned. He told me he'd heard it again. I tried to nicely explain that, while I was sorry he was upset, whatever he was hearing wasn't coming from my home. I was sitting in my office and not even walking around. He tried to blame my son, who was sleeping. It was like he didn't listen to a word I said. Instead he threatened to call the police and report me to the HOA if he heard the noise again. I told him to go right ahead because I knew I wasn't making the noise.
I began to pray even more for this man because I was convinced there was something wrong with him. He proved this to us about a month later. Again on a Sunday morning, this time at 7:30 am, he came pounding at my front door demanding that we stop "banging". My son came to the door with me and I told him we were sleeping and no one was banging on anything. Just as before, I hadn't finished my sentence when he turned and stormed off. At that moment my son E and I both said, "He is disturbed."
Never in my life had I been in such a situation with a neighbor. I talked to my daughter and son-in-law and said I was going to talk to the management company. My son-in-law told me they wouldn't do anything because this is a civil matter; if he showed up at my door again I should call the police. I took his advise and said nothing. I wish I'd spoken up then.
Last week I received an email from the management company stating that it had come to their attention that I was making loud noises after 10:00 pm and I was to stop. I was absolutely furious. Not only was this a bold faced lie, this neighbor was the one that would bang on the walls at all hours of the day and night, play loud music, turn his television on at 6:00 am and leave it on after he left for work, and I had not complained. Yet here he was making false accusations about me! I immediately answered the management office back and told them the whole situation. Since it was later in the day I decided I'd call in the morning, which I did twice but got no answer. I left messages, sent an additional email, but I heard nothing. I was determined, though; I would not let this man malign me with his lies.
Sunday morning I got up at 8:00 am. My son and new daughter-in-law were coming down to visit and I was so excited! At around 8:30 I hopped into the shower to wash my hair and get ready. I began to hear what sounded like very loud music, which surprised me because not only was the shower running but I had the exhaust fan on which makes noise. At first I figured it must be outside, but as soon as I shut the water off I realized that it was coming from my neighbor's house! I got out the shower to brush my teeth and the pounding began in full force. At this point I was done. I called 911 and reported the harassment, asking that an officer be sent over immediately. The 911 operator told me they would send the officer to my house first, then they'd go over to the neighbor's house. As I waited, I heard the volume go down on the music. I was a bit upset because I thought the police wouldn't hear how loud the music was. When the officer came to my door I found out he'd gone directly to the neighbor's house because the music was so loud it could be heard in the street. He was told to stop blaring his music. What was his response? He told the police officer that he was playing his music that loudly because I'd been making noise at 6:00 am. Another big fat lie! I said so much to the officer and told him we were asleep at 6:00. I also told him that this had happened before and that I believed the gentleman to be disturbed. The police officer was sympathetic and told me to call anytime if it happened again.
I emailed the management office a third time. Then I found out from another neighbor who had also heard all the noise that the association managers were working from home. So I called Tuesday morning and left a message. I received an email (finally!) from two different managers stating what my son-in-law had already told me: that this was a civil and not an association matter, and that while they were looking at what could be done, it would be necessary for me to call the authorities if it continued to be a problem. The senior manager did say to document everything and keep them informed.
Monday was quieter and calmer; I had strong hopes that this episode would be the last. No such luck. Tuesday he turned his television on very loudly, then left for work. He turned it off when he got home at 2:50 in the afternoon. He was quiet for the most part after that, and I was thankful for it. However, I was awakened today at 4:08 am to pounding on the wall. It happened once that I recall so I said nothing. Then at 6:00 am the television turned on. I thought about calling the police at this time but decided to wait. At 7:10 I could hear the music start. I got up and could hear two different kinds of music coming from different areas of the house, along with the television set blaring. I called the police, but he was very sneaky. He bolted out the door, so that when the police officer arrived he was gone. The officer told me he could hear the music playing and that yes, it was loud, but no one answered the door. I informed him that the gentleman had left for work and the officer was surprised that he had left the music on. All he could tell me to do was wait until the neighbor got home, then I could call the police again if the music continued.
Sure enough, my neighbor got home at around 3:30 pm, turned off one stereo but raised the volume on the television set. I called the police again. The wonderful officer that came spoke to him and quickly realized where the problem lies. He could tell that my neighbor was being childish and spiteful, and he did not believe the lies that were told to him about me or about my son. Then he checked his records, and was appalled to see that they've been receiving complaints about this gentleman since 2017. He has been warned, and if there are any further complaints he will receive citations for each one.
Does this make me feel better? Not at all. My desire is for this man to find peace, and freedom from his anger and bitterness that can only be found in Jesus Christ. If you are reading this and you believe in the power of prayer, would you please add this man to your prayer list? Jesus said, "For God so loved the world that He gave His Only Begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) I believe this promise is for anyone and everyone who will believe.