Spotlight on: Trump Supporters

What's scarier than Donald Trump and his Hate-mongering Blowhard platform? His followers, of course. Let's hone in on Trump supporters via the magic of screen-shots. I don't usually freeze people in mid-support of a narcissistic lunatic, but I think in this case, it's warranted. What kind of person rallies to support Donald Trump? Let's find out.

Trump just made a doozy of a stump speech. Two hours of rambling nonsense, which I call "The Belt-buckle Rebuttal," for his mock reenactment of fellow candidate Ben Carson's telling of a would-be stabbing of a friend, or a bully, or someone—thwarted by a belt buckle (if you don't know what this refers to, count yourself lucky).

As you can see, the crowd ATE IT UP.

And watta crowd! Who's with Trump? These people:

Guy on the left is studying Trump's Ben Carson stabbing reenactment like it's an episode of CSI.

My son asked me who would want Trump for President. Without thinking, I blurted out, "The mentally ill!" I don't have data to back this up—it's just a guess. My theory is that a sizable amount of narrow-minded paranoiacs can't get enough of Trump. Also, the very stupid. And mixed within this group—bigots. Trump's early surge in the polls was the result of his early-campaign demonization of Mexican immigrants.

But if he's any kind of business man, he very well knows that much of our local economy would wither, collapse and die without cheap labor from Mexico. He's scapegoating and using hate-speech as propaganda to get the bigot votes. He's not going to build a "great wall" with a "very big, very beautiful door," as he's promised. On this, as with so many topics, he's full of shit. But does he truly hate Mexican immigrants? From what I know, coming from a Mexican-American family, I'd say yes. And so do his fans.

Anyone need a cool Trump-supporter avatar?

Behold — Wacky Packages from the near-distant past (1974 or thereabouts)

This tiny shoebox from my Mom's closet (technically my brother's former closet, now the parental gym room), has been such a wealth of memories this week. First we explored toys of 1974 through a Kenner rebate booklet. Then we delighted in the sights and sounds of the original Battlestar Galactica, via a couple of absurd trading cards.

And now, the pièce de résistance—my brother's Wacky Pack collection. I had a collection too but it might have been incorporated herein, or perhaps it's in ANOTHER shoebox in my former closet (we can hope). I just remember having more than what I've posted here (mostly from Series 9, it would appear). Also, with one exception, I left out dated humor, which would mostly entail the making fun of the homeless, once known as "bums" and "hobos." (See sample below: Uncle Bum's convicted rice is prefered (sic) by panhandlers, freeloaders and hobos in jails. Net Sentence: 30 Days)

Not much commentary. What could I add? Wacky Packs were an obsession for us. And I thank my Mom for hanging onto these collectible stickers for FORTY YEARS now. We can't seem to throw these out, however dopey they are. As I read through these once more, I kept thinking, these are so dumb, so, so dumb. And yet by the seventh card, I was giggling. By the tenth, I was laughing out loud. Pure and simple, satirical consumer products, drawn by future underground legends including Art Spiegelman, Kim Deitch, Bill Griffiths and Drew Friedman, were tonic to me.

The 70s were not an easy decade for avoiding consumerism. Some families fled to the wilderness, but there was no escape. We were a generation saturated by advertising and now we're drowning in it. And if marketing geniuses have their way, we can only drown further. Drown and drown again!

We might as well poke fun at it.

Kenner Toys from a 1976 cash-rebate booklet found in Mom's closet

Look, I want to provide you with rich content, but I also want to take a nap. Let's kind of combine both goals with an added dash of nostalgia as we LOOK BACK IN TIME...

TIME

TIME

Time

time...
(this is my echo effect)

TO 1976!
(I'll turn off the echo now)

That's right: bicentennial fever was sweeping the nation. But what was the youth of America dreaming about as far as toy acquisition? For aren't toy companies the manufacturers of youthful dreams? I don't know the answer to that. I'm asking you.

Let's take a look-see into a WINDOW OF THE PAST. Through this toy rebate book I discovered in a shoebox full of Wacky Pack stickers (that's for another post) in my Mom's closet.

Here's the cover of the booklet, so you can enjoy the groovy font and action-packed illustrations of Lee Majors and Lindsay Wagner as Bionic Man and Woman (big-ticket toy items before the advent of Kenner's soon-to-be-released Star Wars toy-line juggernaut).

It's important to note that New Baby Alive was "now more beautiful, softer 'n cuddlier. With lovable new face and outfit." Her old face must have tanked, I guess.


Page 2! Dusty and Skye ride horses and hang out in the Bubblin' Bath & Shower, with Skye holding that bath soap just so for doll-sized modesty. They make a very nice couple, I think you'll agree.

The Snoopy Drive-in Theater is the cutest toy of all time as far as I'm concerned. It has the trifecta of design adorableness featuring: Snoopy (and Woodstock!), drive-in theater reference with snack-shack, and hand-cranked film cartridges, with slow- and fast-mo, and reverse capabilities. You are the film mogul with your own personal theater experience!

This is for all you hipsters. I can't believe Urban Outfitters hasn't issued a remake of the Swinger 2-speed Electronic Phonograph (the close relative of Close 'n Play Phonograph).

Oop, I may have spoken too soon.




Hugo Man of a Thousand Faces puppet can be funny, scary or wild by just changing disguises. I'm going to go with SCARY.

Bionic Woman and Man geodesic domes for sale! Steve Austin's is a Mision Control Center where action begins! With communications console and secret escape hatch. His cohort, Jamie Summers's dome is a...contemporary home with fireplace, vinyl floor and furniture. Plus evening outfit.

Hmmm. OK, what else you got, Kenner? Steve has a Bionic Transport & Repair Station for repairing rockets and Steve's bionic components! Jamie gets a...Bionic Beauty Salon with working computer, dryer, brush and comb.


Thank God toy companies don't resort to this blatant kind of sexist marketing anymore! We've evolved a lot, haven't we?

Steve's arch-enemy Maskatron reminds me of T-1000 in Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Can a toy be that influential?  I don't know. I'm asking you.

TTP and SSP stunt-cycle motorcross smash-up derby sets teach kids that plowing into banks (and bank robbers) and brick walls with a guitar slung across your shoulder is the alternative adult lifestyle we can fantasize about! And in some cases, actually grow up to do. But I wouldn't recommend that.

Take a look at the lovely 70s-edition of Easy-bake Oven. So deluxe, it took two light bulbs to cook your tiny cakes and pies. With a refreshing lack of pink and purple as an oven finish.

Here we see the two sides of human nature as represented in one marketing layout. Our capacity for fun and domesticity with the Treetots Amusement Park and Tree House is flanked by the sadistic abuse of power over Stetch Armstrong and the exploding targets in the Aerial Aces Target Game.

As it ever was, so shall it be. That much I know.

Jesus

She Mob album release! - "Right in the Head"

Hey, it's been 25 years—time for She Mob to release our fourth album, Right in the Head. For now it's a digital download and you can get it on CDBaby. We're working on a more tangible item for you to hug and gaze upon. We're thinking vinyl. We'll let you know.

Enjoy the She Mobness of the moment. She Mob is me, Joy Hutchinson, Suki O'Kane and Karry Walker. Also Alan Korn is featured, and Myles Boisen, who engineered and mastered it. It rocks. It's weird. It's mysterious and in your face. Enjoy.

Our site

 
 Underworld

How to tell the difference between a song and a jingle

The line between song and commercial jingle is so blurred it's hard to see straight anymore. Songs sound like jingles, are picked up by agencies and used as jingles, and then what are they? And what was the motive for making a song sound that way?

Advertising is one of the last lucrative economic resources for beleaguered bands. It's expensive to be in a band. Here's just a few of the costs of being an independent musician: rehearsal space rental, instrument purchase, parts and repairs, recording, engineering, and production costs, plus time—time to write, rehearse and perfect the craft. If bands are purposefully (or subconsciously) nudging their material into anthemic major-chord peppy jingle territory—who am I to complain?

Because everything sounds like a commercial now.

Fitz And The Tantrums - The Walker



Song or Jingle? Here are your clues:
1.) "City of Angels" reference.
2.) Verse, chorus and bridge are all ear worms.
3.) Song can be easily broken into anthemic 30-second chunks.
4.) There is much whistling.
5.) There is walking in the streets in the official video.

And here we have it: Ellen DeGeneres' Oscars® Trailer.




Brought to you by whatever the hell this is.

Halloween is a Sexy Pumpkin Costume Time

Of all the U.S. holidays, Halloween has shown the most growth in terms of overall market share. Nobody even knows why we celebrate Halloween any more, unless you happen to be a scholar of 16th-century Gaelic Pagan festivals. We just want to bring on the sexy!

So whether you're dressed as a sexy caterpillar,

a sexy penguin,

a sexy squid,

 

a sexy elephant,

or a sexy hamster wearing sexy sportswear...

...because nothing implies sexy like a hamster—have a glorious all hallows eve, you sexy, sexy pumpkin. And don't forget your Popeye-like foofy legwarmer accessories. They make the costume!

Hey there, sexy pumpkin lady

From the Department of Bad to Worse - Tonto Smurf

As I predicted (and hoped—sorry, movie-industry executives) would-be summer blockbuster, The Lone Ranger, tanked at the box office. Johnny Depp, impersonating a Native American in grease-paint, with a stuffed crow on his head, couldn't bring 'em in. Naturally lantern-jawed star, Armie Hammer couldn't bring 'em in. Monument Valley—not even Monument Valley could draw in the crowds. And everyone loves a Western set in Monument Valley!—if it's directed by John Ford, in 1956.

Yes, the cards were stacked against this one. And then The Smurfs 2 came along, and turned the cute little patriarchal caricatures into box-office poobah. This, after the first Smurfs movie brought in hundreds of millions. Hundreds of millions, I tell ya! I just thought...well, I can't make things any worse, can I?

What if...hear me out...Johnny Depp in The Smurfs 3 - Redemption. I think he's ready to stretch his costume and makeup choices in the ultimate role, as Tonto Smurf. He doesn't need the Lone Ranger and no one cares about the Lone Ranger anyway (industry executives, make a note of it). He just needs a bunch of CGI pals to have adventures with. The sidekick gets some sidekicks. It'll bring in the patient Depp fans that are still out there, plus the kids, plus the kids' reluctant parents. The Smurfs can teach Tonto Smurf how to use pronouns and he can help them blow up trains.

Yes, it's deeply offensive. But so was that bird on his head. That was so unnecessary. Unnecessary, like a $250 million remake of The Lone Ranger.

Summer Movies from the Isle of Stinkeroo

There's a saying, probably started by a movie publicist, "Nobody ever set out to make a bad movie." I would add, "Except during the summer blockbuster season." Because that's when filmmakers tend to wave their hands in the air like they just don't care, budgeting for the biggest stars, the most extravagant visual effects, and anything left over can go toward that crap written on a piece of paper—what's it called?—oh yes, the screenplay. You know, the story.

Being a movie snob is not my choice—it's a necessity. I personally don't have a big budget to blow on bad films, so I have to be particular. I like my movies like I like my men—quirky, fine-looking, with some intelligence and genuine humor. That's not generally the call of duty during the summer season. Do I judge a movie by its trailer? Yes, millions of dollars went into these marketing ads, so use them to your advantage. What are they selling you? Often times, a whole lot of stinkeroo, but you be the judge!

World War Z - I don't care who says it's good (so far, mostly YouTube comments only), when I'm watching some TV with my kid and this trailer comes on in the middle of Major League Baseball, or Hockey playoffs, or something sporty and all-ages in nature, I DON'T WANT MY KID TO SEE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE BEING PLOWED OVER WITH GIANT VEHICLES, OR GETTING SUCKED OUT OF AIRPLANES. I don't care if they're zombies or not (no one looks like a zombie in this trailer).

If I find this imagery greatly disturbing, how will my 11-year-old feel about it? Since he's a sweet-natured person with anxious tendencies, my guess is: pretty bad. I don't know because every time this trailer has aired, I quietly turned off the TV in order to steep in my hatred for the Hollywood CGI violence industry that gives us ever-more graphic massacres in the name of entertainment. Plus there's Brad Pitt's cute kids and darling wife to worry about, for that human element. So I guess we put all our survival anxieties on them and forget about the millions who are plowed under within moments of this trailer. Hey, fuck you. That's not how my heart works. I can confidently report that this movie was not marketed for me




Kick-Ass 2 - A little teenage girl beats the shit out of people and slices them up with knives. Lots of fists smacking into heads, cars blowing sky-high, Jim Carrey looking manic (and having second thoughts about all this), and a dog-bite to the balls—creative! This doesn't even look fun. Unless being cured of ultra-violence by torture like Alex in Clockwork Orange is your idea of fun.




The Purge - An American utopia is in our grasp because all crime is legal for 12 hours a year. Don't even try to understand the logic of this premise. Just sit back and watch Ethan Hawke's family be terrorized in a brutal home invasion. Brutal home invasion films are now a cottage industry. If it takes a futuristic Utopian concept to bring us one more of these brutal home invasions, so be it. Perhaps we get the brutal home invasion films we deserve.




This Is The End - A bunch of successful comedy guys face the apocalypse together. It's the ultimate end-of-the-world buddy-film vanity project with crunching bodies and mansion-as-lifeboat humor, plus Emma Watson wielding an ax. So, you get a brutal home invasion too. I liked all these guys so much better when they were sidekicks, co-stars, ensemble players, you know—in small doses.

Does anything in this trailer make you actually laugh?  Because I do remember laughing at everyone in this cast in other projects over the years, but this...just....no. Even with a duct tape gag—which cannot lose. Small doses, guys—from small doses comes great, concentrated comic moments. From overblown concepts—much potential mediocrity.



You're a studio exec at Disney and you're running out of adaptable summer blockbuster superheroes. You mentally run down the list of B-grade comic-book fodder from years gone by: Green Lantern, Iron Man, Captain America, Thor (for God's sakes, Thor), multiple Hulks—done—all done in multiple screening formats with varying degrees of success. Hmm, no She-Hulks yet...naaah... she's hot, but look at Wonder Woman—in development hell for decades now...that leaves...nothing. Wait! What about...The Lone Ranger. The guy in the white hat and mask with his monosyllabic Native American sidekick, Tonto.

That Tonto (doesn't Tonto mean fool in Spanish?) might run us afoul of actual Native American actors—get PR on it, pronto! We'll cast Johnny Depp—king of the hipsters. He'll make Tonto cool, like he made a Little Richard/Keith Richards-based pirate cool. Doesn't he claim he might have Cherokee ancestors, or maybe Creek—one of those? Put him in some mime paint with a dead bird on his head, but call it a spirit animal. Put in a bunch of train explosions, Monument Valley, a madame with big hair—all those chicks in brothels back then had big hair—it's going to be big, Pirates of the Caribbean big, madame with big hair big. Big, big, big!



Big big big big big!

Eat shit, NRA

"We think it is poor form for a politician or a special interest group to try to push a legislative agenda on the back of any tragedy."
-- NRA, after 2008 Northern Illinois shootings

"Now is not the time to debate politics or discuss policy."
-- NRA, after 2009 Binghampton massacre

"At this time, anything other than prayers for the victims and their families would be inappropriate."
-- NRA, after 2011 shooting spree that wounded Gabrielle Giffords

"There will be an appropriate time down the road to engage in political and policy discussions."
-- NRA, after 2012 Aurora massacre

"NRA will not have any comment."
-- NRA, after 2012 Newtown massacre

- From the "Say What" column, December 19, 2012 - GB Trudeau's Doonesbury

Update from the December 21 press conference:

“Nobody has addressed the most important pressing and immediate question we face: How do we protect our children right now, starting today, in a way that we know works? The only way to answer that question is to face the truth: Politicians passed laws for gun free school zones, they issued press releases bragging about them, they posted signs advertising them. And in doing so they tell every insane killer in America that schools are the safest place to inflict maximum mayhem with minimum risk. How have our nation’s priorities gotten so out of order?” - Wayne LaPierre, NRA CEO


LaPierre must own a few guns. How chilling an image is that?

A Very Hipster Christmas

You can wear all the skinny jeans you want, grow facial hair down the front of your neck and pose away, chain smoking your lung cells into tar-encrusted oblivion, but you CAN'T STOP CHRISTMAS. It arrives every year and there's no avoiding its sentimental, consumer frenzy of a religious traditional parade-route Santa Claus and birth of Jesus celebration. It's bigger than all of us put together and all the irony, detachment and smug self-destructive behavior won't save you from its red-mittened grasp.

But don't worry. I'm here to help. I was once young and detached too. How can you make Christmas more bearable, more relatable, more cool? You can't. But you can fortify yourself with supplies. Hip supplies that cost money that make you seem cool at Christmas. And isn't impressing your peer group with the right material goods what it's all about? Of course it is!

After you've watched Bad Santa for the umpteenth time, it's time to go Christmas shopping! Yes, if you grew up in a Christian household, you can't avoid it. Sorry! Purchasing gifts is the unavoidable Christmas spirit, but have it YOUR WAY.

Your niece likes dolls but dolls are so 19th century! Well, just go with it and buy her a Monster High Robecca Steam (Punk) Doll. Start her on the road to expensive in-group hobbyism early.

Robecca Steam doll is a robot with gear-shaped eyes and knees that bend both ways—if only we could be so cool!

Someone you know just had a baby. The birth of a baby is the beginning of the end of cool detachment. Nothing says "involved" like diapers and spit-up. Just get the baby this garbage truck plushy (on clearance!) and be glad someone else is willing to carry on the human experiment.

What could be more cuddly than a New York City garbage truck?

What about Mom and Dad? They made you a lot of meals over the years and maybe even pay your rent now. You owe them. How about a Jesus toaster, in keeping with the season.





Now that shopping's out of the way, it's time to decorate! Better grab that overpriced Hammacher Schlemmer aluminum tree before they're all sold out. The vintage dealers' trees are long gone by now. You gotta be in it to win it when it comes to mid-century holiday design.

Ornaments and obligatory color wheel not included

It's time to hang your gambling, alcohol, and smoking ornaments. That's the spirit(s)!

Speaking of spirits, why not imbibe in a traditional Christmas beverage? The problem is they're so frothy, sweet and soul-warming. Blech! You can try to update eggnog by making it a smoothie, but it smacks of too much effort.

Whatever, Jamba Juice immune-power eggnog smoothie!

Just give in and drink your Christmas beverage out of an obnoxious mug. Here's a few to get you started. Nothing balances out the sweetness of a creamy cup of hot peppermint cocoa like a butt mug.

Or sip your nutmeg-topped nog out of this toilet mug. Makes an excellent potpourri dish as well for year-round enjoyment!

Hot buttered rum is that much better in this recycling-bin mug. Show you care about the environment while you get your socially acceptable buzz on.