1d8 Polymorphed Wizards

1 Did it to themselves (1d12)

1 On purpose
2 As a joke
3 To prove a point
4 To win a bet
5 To escape
6 For research
7 In order to cast previously inaccessible spells
8 To pursue apotheosis
9 While drunk
10 Just because
11 On accident
12 Will never admit it

2 It was done to them (d12)

1 By a rival
2 By a mortal foe
3 By the gods
4 By their apprentice
5 As punishment for their sins (deserved)
6 In retaliation for their crimes (actually innocent)
7 To teach some lesson (details forgotten)
8 To delay their plans
9 To save them
10 For insurance fraud
11 As a joke
12 Innocent bystander to a miscast working

3 Just happened spontaneously
4 Chronic condition
5 Allergic reaction
6 Fell in a magic pool
7 Woke up that way
8 Doesn't matter, they don't want to go back

1d100 Things in the Wizard's Tower

1 Extensive board game collection

2 Ostentatious chessboard
3 7 decks of cards and poker chips
4 Polyhedral dice
5 Alembics
6 Bunsen burners
7 Centrifuge
8 Fume hood
9 Boiling test tubes
10 Copper pot still
11 Acid hole-riddled apron
12 Hot plate (for work)
13 Hot plate (for food)
14 Microwave (dirty)
15 Stacks of dirty dishes
16 Poptarts
17 Pizza rolls
18 60lbs frozen chicken nuggets
19 40lbs dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets
20 872lbs dinosaur nuggets
21 Chest freezers
22 Orb
23 Fruit bat
24 Pointy hat (scorched)
25 Hand-carved staff
26 Animated cloak
27 Wardrobe of impressive clothes for public appearances
28 Dresser full of sweatpants and hoodies
29 Dirty socks
30 Basket of clean socks
31 Basket of socks in an uncollapsed clean-dirty superposition
32 Iguana named Lloyd, likes ham
33 Glowing orb
34 Blacklight posters
35 Glow-in-the-dark stars and planets
36 Lava lamps
37 Bean bag chairs
38 Bead curtains
39 Waterbed
40 Turntable and vinyl collection
41 Big screen TV
42 Popcorn maker
43 Gourmet popcorn assortment
44 Giant talking mealworm named Eli, very judgemental
45 Fruit bowl
46 Fruit flies
47 Dormant golem
48 3 inert clones
49 Magic sword
50 Cursed sword
51 Sword lodged to the hilt in a boulder
52 Umbrella stand full of failed and prototype wands, rods, and staves
53 Closet full of random electronic parts and components
54 Ancient computer running Win 3.1 (amber CRT and mechanical keyboard, actively processing data)
55 TI-83 graphing calculator
56 High-powered telescope
57 High-powered sniper rifle (experimental)
58 saxophone (alto)
59 Silly string
60 Serious string
61 Vacuum cleaner (full of ghosts)
62 Shopping cart (borrowed indefinitely)
63 Skulls (gossipy and loud)
64 Homunculus
65 Imp infestation
66 Miniature mammoth
67 Snakes!
68 1d12+20 chinchillas
69 Frog-shaped teapot (home to an actual tiny frog)
70 3000 gallon tank of liquid nitrogen
71 60 helium tanks (each 5' tall and hold 300 cubic ft of gas)
72 435 gallons of mercury
73 Elixir of immortality (just pure mercury)
74 Elixir of immortality (actually works, tastes like death)
75 Fireball (liquor)
76 Fireball (8' diameter, caught in stasis but slowly expanding)
77 Fire extinguisher
78 Wine cellar (extradimensional, 5000 sqft)
79 Meerschaum pipe
80 Long-stemmed pipe
81 Opium pipe
82 Rolling papers
83 280kg of weed
84 Mushrooms (recreational)
85 Claw-footed bathtub
86 Weight rack and bench
87 Well-worn persian rug
88 Complex painted summoning circle (hidden under the rug)
89 Wall of diplomas and degrees
90 Candles (dripping wax on the floor)
91 Towering pile of books (unstable)
92 Complete collection of National Geographic
93 Decades-overdue library books
94 Swirling portal to Outside (mostly stable)
95 Door that opens onto 4 separate destinations
96 Machines that make the tower walk (offline)
97 1/1000th scale model of the tower (perfect in every detail)
98 Massive model train table
99 Vintage motorcycle (robin's egg blue)
100 Panel van painted with a mural of accountants doing taxes

1d8 Magical Research Projects

 

The burning questions that the local wizard is conducting research on and wants your help with.

1 How do entities like dopplegangers, clones, and evil twins who are ostensibly perfect copies of a subject creature interact with divination done on, for, or about that creature?

2 How does the magical signature and residue of a polymorphed creature differ from that of naturally magical creatures (and can these differences be disguised)?

3 Does greater fluency and understanding of a language increase the potency of glyph-based magic like exploding runes that relies on text?

4 What effect does the imposition of man-made light sources from cities and villages have on owlbear migration patterns?

5 Does the congregation size and magnitude of belief directed at a god have an effect on the power of their clerics' spells and in what way, amplifying or diminishing?

6 What is the extent of the contamination caused by seepage of alchemical effluent from [rival wizard]'s dungeon laboratory into the local rivers and groundwater, and what effects and damage are already occurring in the surrounding environment?

7 How does the signal strength and clarity of communication spells change when transmitting over various ranges or through different materials and how can one mitigate (or induce) any distortions?

8 Confirming the efficacy of their latest elixir of immortality. Is the formula actually bestowing immortality or is it only an extremely powerful restorative potion?