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A Civil War is a form of warfare known for its kindness and civility, in stark contrast to the other tactics such as scorched earth which are entirely too dirty for upstanding gentlemen. Civil warfare is a strategy that has outlasted many minor fads in warfare such as Germany's Blitzkrieg Bop, the British Redcoat's Stand In a Line and Shoot or the French Foreign Legion's Surrender. Its longevity as a tactic can probably be attributed to a few things, namely the incompetence of modern military tacticians compared to those of the past and the universal human need for cordial smiles and small talk, even during battle.

Civil wars are defined by a few chief characteristics. The Blitzkrieg Bop, for instance, was famous for its angular guitar rhythms and use of armor and dive-bombers to spearhead a motorized assault straight through the heart of an opposing force. Civil War, however, is based on these precepts: (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that the The Antipodean Gallery of Post-Modern Art will play host to some of Pau Pei's most groundbreaking works of concentric art? (Pictured)

... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?
... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?

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Let's Buy Weird Al from Musk – Uncyc's Next Big Adventure!

Support our fake album and win a free Palestinian! (Pictured)
The Philadelphia Eagles steal the NFL's script and prevent the Kansas City Chiefs from 3‑peating
- Philadelphia will burn to the ground as a result.
- Taylor Swift also begins writing her new breakup song for Travis Kelce; it goes something like "Dreamed of a 3‑peat, but you fumbled the play – Lost the Super Bowl and me the same day."
Ye has officially lost his fucking mind for the millionth time
Donald Trump announces grand opening of the Sierra Gaza
Biden announced as new Bond after signing with CAA
Trump Taken audition leaked
Kendrick Lamar wins five Grammys AND performs Not Like Us at the SuperBowl to over 100 million people, much to Drake's dismay
Smokey the Bear revealed to be cause of LA fires
NASA headquarters explode as major star goes on break
The Ohio State wins skibidi championship rizz
- In an alternate universe, Notre Dame wins and saves us all from this monstrosity
Elon Musk "accidentally" does a tribute to ... y'know
Time travelers protest Trump's inauguration, reveal we're stuck in a time loop
TikTok gets banned and unbanned in the US within 24 hours
Who's performing at Trump inauguration? (2025)

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE actually doing their job and rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • Eagles fans rioting and eating horseshit in celebration, again

Recent deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • David Lynch • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright • The Kansas City Chiefs Dynasty and Patrick Mahomes's legacy • A One Direction reunion

Upcoming deaths: Philadelphia • Travis Kelce's sham relationship with Taylor Swift and his career • TikTok, for real this time • Bashar al‑Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse

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On this day [edit]

February 18: Penis Day (Tonga)

4000 BC - Men discover their hands reach down to their genitals, and there is peace for three thousand years before they get bored and start killing each other with pointy sticks.
1791 - American imperialists "liberate" the state of Vermont because of its vast maple syrup reserves.
1861 - Jefferson Davis is declared president of the Confederacy after saying the "hard R" N-word fifty times in only six seconds.
1885 - Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is published, its numerous grammatical errors are labelled by the publisher as a regional dialect.
1970 - The Chicago Seven are found guilty of being dirty commie hippies who might as well be guilty.
2010 - WikiLeaks publishes hundreds of thousands of classified documents revealing exactly where the U.S. keeps its nudes.

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Picture of the day

The Lego JFK Assassination Set was the top selling toy of 1963. Collectors have been known to pay up to twenty-seven dollars on eBay.

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