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Turntables in the Van (DJ Pack)

by Epic & Deadly Stare

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1.
Turntables in the Van 03:32
lyrics
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Verse 1 Fuck around, say no worries, like your Jamaica trip You better worry about it ‘cause Imma bust your lip Needle nose pliers Your crew is feature buyers You washed up rappers Got shrunk in the dryer Lames is too lame Time is running out so you better set your alarm That’s on your night stand You’re way too pop, name drop Your failure is gonna be swift Name drop on a shirt, sample in a jar Old man Cap, Goldman Sachs I have a hairy chest and I’ll slam you into the boards like Barry Beck You need to show more respect Chorus We got turntables in the band We got an MPC in the band We got  turntables in the band We got an MPC in the band Verse 2 I’ll take you to the maximum You want to step up?
You want to step up
I’ll fuck your whole rep up It’s called being an artist and me and my crew goes the hardest on the planet This is the way it should be done Scott Da Ros, Deadly Stare is at it again I’m iller just like beats from Dilla You need to mind your own business Not an an emcee pyramid scheme Your crew miscalculated again And I got it right all four times that I did it Crew is so dope that we have so much equipment Pack and repack the van Chorus We got turntables in the band We got an MPC in the band We got  turntables in the band We got an MPC in the band We got turntables in the band We got an MPC in the band We got  turntables in the band We got an MPC in the band Verse 3 Ready to go on a campaign with 10,000 soldiers to install socialism into the rap community again
We tolerate dissent so you can mumble rap and buy features Just to get clout I give a fuck less I’m sure to take a turn driving on an award tour with these veterans I’m certain that I took it straight to the backboard Won't stop rocking until I retire, bitch, or at least until all of us go on that Canadian Tire trip We keep needle nose pliers in the back of the van With extra battery, stickers Driving across the Canadian Shield Pick up laundry from here to Sault Ste. Marie We will cross the river to the other side Chorus Our van is turning And we got turntables in our band Our band is turning And we got turntables in the van Verse 4 I hope you get stuck in the rope The skidoo driver doesn’t even notice Meanwhile, Gladys You're art school but I’m pure mathematics Plus I hang with the art school kids You think you’re a weirdo So they sit on the other side of the cafeteria In Montreal / In Toronto You're edgy, cool! Anger when you need to be embarrassed Tie my kangaroo down like Rolf Harris I see you waddling down the street Here to put everyone in a bad mood Abstract Rude from Project Blowed Throw up the peace sign Think of the accomplishments The underdogs are overcoming adversity What’s your address, Grump? I’ll send you a postcard Outro Our van is driving And turntables drive our band Our van is driving And turntables drive our band
2.
Turntables in the Van (radio edit) 03:32
lyrics
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Verse 1 F*** around, say no worries, like your Jamaica trip You better worry about it ‘cause Imma bust your lip Needle nose pliers Your crew is feature buyers You washed up rappers Got shrunk in the dryer Lames is too lame Time is running out so you better set your alarm That’s on your night stand You’re way too pop, name drop Your failure is gonna be swift Name drop on a shirt, sample in a jar Old man Cap, Goldman Sachs I have a hairy chest and I’ll slam you into the boards like Barry Beck You need to show more respect Chorus We got turntables in the band We got an MPC in the band We got  turntables in the band We got an MPC in the band Verse 2 I’ll take you to the maximum You want to step up?
 You want to step up 
I’ll f*** your whole rep up It’s called being an artist and me and my crew goes the hardest on the planet This is the way it should be done Scott Da Ros, Deadly Stare is at it again I’m iller just like beats from Dilla You need to mind your own business Not an an emcee pyramid scheme Your crew miscalculated again And I got it right all four times that I did it Crew is so dope that we have so much equipment Pack and repack the van Chorus We got turntables in the band We got an MPC in the band We got  turntables in the band We got an MPC in the band We got turntables in the band We got an MPC in the band We got  turntables in the band We got an MPC in the band Verse 3 Ready to go on a campaign with 10,000 soldiers to install socialism into the rap community again
 We tolerate dissent so you can mumble rap and buy features Just to get clout I give a f*** less I’m sure to take a turn driving on an award tour with these veterans I’m certain that I took it straight to the backboard Won't stop rocking until I retire, b****, or at least until all of us go on that Canadian Tire trip We keep needle nose pliers in the back of the van With extra battery, stickers Driving across the Canadian Shield Pick up laundry from here to Sault Ste. Marie We will cross the river to the other side Chorus Our van is turning And we got turntables in our band Our band is turning And we got turntables in the van Verse 4 I hope you get stuck in the rope The skidoo driver doesn’t even notice Meanwhile, Gladys You're art school but I’m pure mathematics Plus I hang with the art school kids You think you’re a weirdo So they sit on the other side of the cafeteria In Montreal / In Toronto You're edgy, cool! Anger when you need to be embarrassed Tie my kangaroo down like Rolf Harris I see you waddling down the street Here to put everyone in a bad mood Abstract Rude from Project Blowed Throw up the peace sign Think of the accomplishments The underdogs are overcoming adversity What’s your address, Grump? I’ll send you a postcard Outro Our van is driving And turntables drive our band Our van is driving And turntables drive our band
3.
Turntables in the Van (instrumental) 03:32
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4.
Turntables in the Van (acapella) 03:32
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about

Capturing the dizzying buzz of the road and the excitement of nightly shows with horns, claps, and raps, "Turntables in the Van" cranks up the boom bap and takes us along for the ride. Inspired in part after witnessing Fugazi’s tour van washing machine routine and realizing the need to tour smartly, especially when traversing Canada’s vast landscape. Epic and Deadly Stare cram the band into the van to bring their music to the people. What is a band without turntables, anyway?

credits

released March 4, 2025

Written and performed by Epic
Produced and mixed by Deadly Stare
Mastered by W.C. Spicer

Artwork by Shauna Doris

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Hand'Solo Records Toronto

Operating out of Toronto, Canada since 1996, Hand'Solo Records is devoted to releasing quality hip hop that is creative, clever and often experimental. Early releases, now out of print, include Buck 65, Sixtoo, Moka Only, and others. Currently home to The Dirty Sample, Ol' Gorilla Bones, Epic, Tachichi, No Town Vandal, Fortunato, Magick Show and Mickey O'Brien. ... more

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