Snapshots #372: A Top Twelve Songs About Different Fabrics

Welcome, all you Material Girls and Boys to a list of songs about fabrics. Lou Reed graced our opening shot yesterday with his Velvet Underground... and today, we have Brett Anderson from Suede.

Here are twelve songs that fit the theme...

12. Can you a Ford to drive these guys around?

The Courteeners - Acrylic

11. Seen in disgusting August.

GusGus - Polyesterday

10. Goes with Marie and a Spanish Bandit.

Donny goes with Marie. A Spanish bandit would be El-Burt Reynolds.

Donnie Elbert - Little Piece Of Leather

9. Pestered by Society.

To pester is to bug. A society might also be a club.

The Bug Club - Cheap Linen

8. Wrote a diary about being a baptist.

Bridget (Jones) wrote a diary. St. John was a baptist.

Bridget St. John - Curious & Woolly

7. Hopefully nobody will think this week's Snapshots features a crap link. Er...

"Crap link. Er" was an anagram...

Carl Perkins - Blue Suede Shoes

6. They don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.

So said Randy Newman, anyway.

Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe

I apologise for that. It's the last thing anyone wants to hear on a Sunday morning.

5. Weller's necklace.

Pearl Jam - Corduroy

4. Like flour, and drawing papers.

Plain and white.

White Plains - Taffeta Rose

3. Fresh.

A very Fresh(-faced young) Prince.

Prince - Pink Cashmere

2. Would you like some insects mixed into your Kiev?

Mix together the letters in "insects" and "Kiev" until it gives you...

Stevie Nicks - Leather & Lace

Or you could have had...

Stevie Nicks - Blue Denim 

1. Where the police go to get pissed.

The Bobbies go to Vin-ton.

Amazingly, this is the first time he's appeared here...

Bobby Vinton - Blue Velvet

More next Saturday.

Saturday Snapshots #150 - The Answers

Here we go again. Thanks for playing. I hope you're all keeping well.

Answers...


10. Minor piercing... though it looks bloody painful to me!

Morris Minor.

The Prince Albert piercing gets another mention!

Feelings bring us pain.

Morris Albert - Feelings

9. Ban worms! Knock it off.

Ban worms was a simple anagram.

Sam Brown - Stop

Very nice segue from #10 to #9 if this was a radio show.

8. Jenny said when she was just five years old, there was nothing happening at all... except an Italian god.

"Jenny said when she was just five years old, there was nothing happening at all..." comes from Rock n Roll by the Velvet Underground.

If Jenny was five years old, she would be a child.

Italian for God? Dio.

Dio - Rock n Roll Children

7. Robert Wagner is not allowed here. Neither is Stefanie Powers. But tiny scared arachnids are fine.

Robert Wagner & Stefanie Powers were Mr. & Mrs. Hart. (When they met, it was Moidah.) Ban them!

Topical references my forte, as always. But Alyson was on the right track. Coming up with a clue for Devendra was beyond me though.

Devendra Banhart - Little Yellow Spider 

6. Airborne proposition from Barry's girl x 200.

Barry's girl was Mandy.

X is 10 in Roman Numerals. 200 would be CC.

10cc - I'm Mandy, Fly Me

5. King's footwear manufactured by German free man... sounds like a psycho!

Carl is a North Germanic male name meaning "free man".

Antony Perkins played Norman Bates in Psycho.

This song was made more famous by the King of Rock n Roll... but the original was by...

Carl Perkins - Blue Suede Shoes

4. Bono return - clown vanish!

Not that Bono! Think instead of the one who knew Cher...

Clown vanish is an anagram.

Shawn Colvin - Sonny Came Home

3. A bear for the Twins... you might find something humerus here.

Teddy bear + Thompson Twins...

Humerus is a bone in your arm.

Teddy Thompson - In My Arms

That's such a joyous video, especially when Rufus arrives. Happier times...

2. Staring contest between Marvin & Child interrupted by fashion designer in romantic trailer.

The eyes of Lee Marvin & the eyes of Lee Child interrupted by Jasper Conran.

Isley Jasper Isley - Caravan of Love

Very different from the Housemartins version, but the original is still pretty cool.

1. Arthritis... don't fall off!

Arthritis causes. among other things, Stiff Little Fingers. (With me, it's my thumbs!)

My Top Ten Shoe Songs

I could easily have gone a Top Twenty Shoe Songs... but the rules only allow ten, so I had to throw out the rest. Here are the sole survivors...


10. Arctic Monkeys - Dancing Shoes

The only reason that I came.

9. Traffic - Hole In My Shoe

Look, kids, just say no.

Of course, you may be of the generation that prefers Neil's version. Even John Peel seems to like it.

Oh no, what a really heavy bummer.

8. Gram Parsons & Emmylou Harris - The New Soft Shoe

Somehow, I've managed almost a hundred Top Tens on this blog so far without any GP. Had to put that right.

See also Lambchop - The Old Gold Shoe. Because it's ace.

7. Shed Seven - Devil in Your Shoes

A forgotten classic. So good, it also made My Top Ten Devil Songs.

6. Paul Simon - Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes

And she said honey take me dancing
But they ended up by sleeping
In a doorway
By the bodegas and the lights on
Upper Broadway
Wearing diamonds on the soles of their shoes

One thing's for certain: that's no way to cure these walking blues.

5. Kirsty MacColl - In These Shoes?

Reasons we miss Kirsty, #704.

"In these shoes? I don't think so."

4. Elvis Presley - Blue Suede Shoes

Don't feel too bad for Carl Perkins who wrote and recorded this song originally. I'm sure he never went without them on his feet after Elvis took it to the top.

3. Elvis Costello - (The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes

So many songs about red shoes, I could almost have given them their own Top Ten. The best came from...

Kate Bush (not sure what's more disturbing in this video, Miranda Richardson's eyebrows or the divine Ms. B's acting)

Tom Waits

and Loretta Lynn...

...but Elvis's red shoes even beat the other Elvis's blue shoes in my humble opinion. From his debut album, and his debut appearance on Top of the Pops too.

(OK, that was a cheat, but I had to shoehorn those songs in somehow.)

My grandma had a saying about women who wore red shoes... 

2. Adam Ant - Goody Two Shoes

You don't drink, don't smoke... what do you do?

Write comics and Top Tens, mostly.

1. Johnny Boy - You Are the Generation That Bought More Shoes and You Get What You Deserve

Probably a surprising choice (given the undeniable classics below), but Johnny Boy's greatest "hit" wins out for its Phil Spector swagger and for achieving the impossible: a song that sounds even better than its title.





Which are your dancing shoes?