Sam and I spent a few days down south last week - not all the way down, just south of Birmingham. On our first full day, we visited Warwick Castle, a spectacular old building, but a place which feels like it's been Disneyfied to milk every last penny out of its visitors. I could just about handle paying almost fifty quid to get in, because there was lots to do, but once inside they try to fleece you for more money at every turn. Seven quid to park (in a field), people offering to take your photo at every turn then hand you a digital download card with a hefty price attached, extra cost for the Dungeon Tour (which was OK, but not a patch on Edinburgh or York Dungeons).
Shadows Of Knight - Warwick Court Affair
But the final kick in the teeth came later in the afternoon when Sam fancied a go at the kid's jousting event, a pretty basic affair in which another teenager gave two kids a wooden sword and got them to run along an obstacle course bashing a few stripy poles along the way, Despite this, Sam was desperate to have a go - six quid, please. So we bought a ticket and stood waiting in the blistering hot sun for half an hour while the Teenage Knight Mentor mucked about getting two other kids through the course. One of them cut her finger, so the Teenage Knight Mentor let them have another go, after spending ages running around looking for a plaster. And on and on it went. Finally they were done, at which point the Teenage Knight Mentor headed off down the other end of the course to talk to some other parents who were enquiring about the course. I followed, just to make sure she didn't allow them to go before Sam. No worries - "I've got someone waiting down that end," she told them. So I presumed Sam would be next. Only then her (slightly older but only just) supervisor turned up, a conflab occurred, and Teenage Knight Mentor buggered off completely. The supervisor then headed over to us... "this event is closed for half an hour - you can come back then". Sam burst into tears and I demanded my money back. "Sorry, we don't give refunds."
At this point, we left Warwick Castle and headed into the town to scour the local charity shops. A far more cost-effective endeavour. So yeah - Warwick Castle... it's a good job I don't do reviews in Trip Advisor. The town itself is much more welcoming.