Snapshots #389: The Snapshots Dessert Trolley

I'm on a diet at the moment, so putting this edition of Snapshot together was an exercise in self-flagellation. For the rest of you - feel free to indulge your sweet teeth below..

15. Non-White Raconteur.

The Raconteurs were a band featuring Jack White and...

Brendan Benson - Strawberry Rhubarb Pie

14. One bed flat for family of ten.

Crowded House - Chocolate Cake

13. Too busy singing.

I'm sure most of you easily spotted the Monkee-Mobile... but did you recall this awful school dinner substitute for rice pudding?

The Monkees - Tapioca Tundra

12. He was always wrong in French.

Mal - Mighty Mighty Roly Poly

Mal Ryder (aka Paul Bradley Couling from Wales) didn't make much of a mark on the UK music scene in the 70s... but he was very big in Italy. I include him here today because I do like a good Roly Poly.

11. Stork joins hawk to create a weird hybrid.

"Stork joins hawk" was an anagram...

Horst Jankowich - A Walk In The Black Forest

Black Forest Gateaux is evil. But if you dined out in the 70s or 80s, it was seen as the height of sophistication. 

10. The UK's chartered professional body for mathematicians puts on a bit of weight  in their luxury abode.

"The UK's chartered professional body for mathematicians", as I'm sure George will know, are the IMA. So Fat + IMA in a Mansion...

Fatima Mansions - Angel's Delight

Another staple dessert from my childhood, but far preferable to Black Forest Gateaux. Especially Butterscotch flavour. 

9. C disappears fast.

In the word Quick, if you make the C disappear, you are left with...

The Quik - Bert's Apple Crumble

8. Zeus gave nan a mixed message.

"Zeus gave nan" is an anagram...

Suzanne Vega - Caramel

7. Hedgehog children.

Sonic The Hedgehog, of course...

Sonic Youth - Créme Brûlèe

6. Goat, flippin'... the end of Christine.

Billy Goat + Flipping 'Eck + Stine...

Billy Eckstine - Jelly Jelly

5. Small horses, still kids, you've never seen them before... but they're joining up together! 

Bit of a laborious clue, I admit...

New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream

4. Lights on a flying machine. 

That'll be the LEDs on the Zeppelin...

Led Zeppelin - Custard Pie

3. Fake lists contain everything you need to know.

FaKE LISts...

Kelis - Milkshake

2. I have a legal document stating that I can write this clue.

Warrant - Cherry Pie

1. Proof Stu was a very confused man.

"Proof Stu" was an anagram...

Four Tops - I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)

More tasty treats for you next Saturday morning... 

Snapshots #267: A Top Ten Loser Songs

After Andrew Garfield yesterday, I had to look if there was a picture of Garfield the Cat holding a camera. The internet didn't let me down.

On a completed unrelated note, here are ten losers...

10. Environmentally friendly Piper.

Peter Piper picked a peck of green peppers.

Peter Green - Loser Two Times

9. Arrest Chuck.

Nick... (Chuck) Berry!

Nick Berry - Every Loser Wins

Shame? What's that?

8. How Elmore, Etta and Skip got around.

Elmore, Etta and Skip James used a car!

James Carr - A Lucky Loser

7. How much for Lois Lane's real name?

Lois Lane was played by Margot Kidder. How much?

Margo Price - World's Greatest Loser

6. Post-war Dublin tower blocks.

Google it.

Fatima Mansions - Only Losers Take The Bus

5. Richard is completely apathetic.

Dick couldn't care less.

Dick Curless - Loser's Cocktail

4. Empty Tot and the Berserk Eartha.

Anagrams!

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - Even The Losers

3. Salutations.

Dear is a salutation used to start a letter.

The Dears - You And I Are A Gang Of Losers

2. Jolly Uni CDs play out of synch.

Another anagram!

Judy Collins - Hard Lovin' Loser

Love that.

1. Prominent member of Quebec Karate Club.

QueBEC Karate Club.

There was only ever going to be one Number One this week...

Remember: Nick says every loser wins. So you're all winners in my book.

 

Saturday Snapshots #143 - The Answers

Welcome to the Hunger Games... because you're all hungry for the answers! So let's get going...



10. Where mustangs work out, near Coben's home.

(Ford) Mustangs work out at the gym.

The Coben was Harlan Coben. (I couldn't think of any other Harlans.)

Jim Ford - Harlan County

9. Wall, Hill & Baker. Power fantasies.

Wall, Hill and Baker are all famous streets.

The Streets - Weak Become Heroes

8. Dracos bread.

Dracos are flying lizards.

Bread is money.

The Flying Lizards - Money

7. When Bridget Jones leaves, via the sinister slope.

Bridget Jones was played by Renee Zellweger.

Sinister is left in Latin.

The Left Banke - Walk Away, Renee

6. Milo O'Shea isn't in 2D... but he could eat a horse.

Milo O'Shea played the character Dr. Durand Durand in Barbarella. Take two Ds away and you get...

Duran Duran - Hungry Like The Wolf

5. Beware - women with javelins live here! Winners drive home in their sports cars.

Fatima Whitbread was a champion javelin thrower.

Fatima Mansions - Only Losers Take The Bus

4. One notch in on the belt for Riverdale campanologist and doctors from hell.

Tighten that belt!

Riverdale is the home of Archie.

Campanologists ring bells.

Dr-Hell... "Dr'ell".

Archie Bell & The Drells - Tighten Up

3. Cyclone where the Boys meet the Boss, darling.

A cyclone is air curving round and round and round really fast. (Trust me, I'm a scientist.)

Backstreet Boys.

Bruce also sang about the Backstreets.

Curved Air - Backstreet Luv

2. Bloke who drives a modern taxi downs gin with a cherry.

A modern taxi is an Uber. (Don't ask me, I never liked taxis... you're not going to get me in a taxi driven by an amateur!)

Gin blossoms. Cherry blossoms.

Downs = falls.

Ooberman - Blossoms Falling

1. Aretha Bee Chesspiece... Graham Greene.

Aretha was the queen of soul.

Queen bee. 

Chess.

Graeme Greene wrote Brighton Rock.

More Joy... and a great deal of Mystique... next Saturday.

My Top Ten Loser Songs

 The Top Ten in which Every Loser Wins...

(Check out #3 if you don't believe me.)


10. Rod Stewart - Three Time Loser

The scary story of Rod's sex life before he became famous...

9. Fatima Mansions - Only Losers Take the Bus

I'm no loser, I'm a letch!

8. George Jones - The World's Worst Loser

Whenever you think your life's shitty... put on some George Jones.

7. Suede - Beautiful Loser

Suede have a new album out... and it's much better than the one this comes from. Still, some great putdowns here...

You belong among the wild flowers
picked at the side of the road,
You belong among the silent hours
and broken telephones,
You belong among the TV screens
with sound turned down again,
You belong where there's CCTV
watching you every day,

See also Beautiful Losers by Ocean Colour Scene. Also pretty damned good.

6. Dick Curless - Loser's Cocktail

...direct from the bartender at the Loser's Lounge. My guess is Hoyt Axton wouldn't be allowed in that bar, since Boozers Are Losers (When Benders Don't End).

5. The Dears - You and I Are a Gang of Losers

You and I are on the outside
Of all of almost everything

Don't we all feel like that sometimes?

4. Son of Dork - Ticket Outta Loserville

What do you get when you cross Busted! with Blink 182?

Pinch me, is this real?
I'm on a one way ticket out of Loserville
Now I'm off the social flat line
Things are so good that I'm
Taking down my Star Trek shrine

Much better than you'd expect.

3. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - Even The Losers

Baby even the losers
Get lucky sometimes...

A sentiment shared by Nick 'Wicksy' Berry on his seminal 80s Number One... but honestly, what do you take me for? There's no place for that here. I have to draw the line somewhere.

2. Half Man Half Biscuit - Bad Losers on Yahoo Chess

And I'll keep finding a way to shoehorn this into Top Tens until you've all bought a copy.

Ernie Shackleton retreated
Close to the Pole
He didn’t want men dying
To achieve his goal
But did he get a gob on?
No he gave a little grin
Heed this Dennis Bell
When you next sign in
Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess!

1. Beck - Loser

In the time of chimpanzees, Beck was a monkey. If you don't like it... why don't you kill him?




Those were my losers... which is your winner?