Following on from Monday's post, I started reading one of the books Ben recommended. Much of this post comes from Don't Feed The Monkey Mind by Jennifer Shannon, although it's my own interpretation of her writing, coupled with some other bits I've dug up on the interweb.
Oh, I've been working
Working myself up to the fact
That my best days are behind me
And the road up ahead will be filled with looking back
And the road up ahead will be filled with looking back
Will I look back with regret, with moments to forget
Or will I love what I see?
And the memories will surround me like a warm bubble bath
Like a warm bubble bath
That's why I'm doing this series. Because I want more warm bubble bath memories to look back on in my dotage, rather than regret.
Why do we get stressed in the first place?
According to the scientists, it’s all down to two little almonds in our brain. Yes, our brains contain nuts. And these nuts are in control of our emotions! As soon as I read this, I felt a lot better about my stress, anxiety, lack of self-esteem and overall miserableness. It’s all just nuts!
The nuts in question are amygdala – although because there’s two of them, there’s some debate about whether the plural should be amygdalas or amygdalae. As it’s a word I find difficult to pronounce anyway, I’m going to stick with the singular. Amygdala. Anyway, the word comes from the Greek amygdalē, which translates as either ‘tonsil’ or ‘almond’. I bet that caused some confusion in Greek hospitals whenever anyone turned up with tonsillitis… or was it just an almond stuck in their throat? Obviously, I’m going with the almond translation because… nuts!
Although they’re a tiny part of our overall brain, the amygdala have a huge job to do. Scientists believe they’re in charge of learning and memory, behaviour, decision making and – perhaps most importantly of all – emotions. Actually, I’m not really sure what else is left for the rest of the brain to do. I reckon it just stares out of the window and tries to work out what your favourite Supertramp song is, or who was Number One on your 16th birthday.
(In case you're wondering, I had no memory of that at all, so I had to look it up. And I bought that record too. I very quickly came to despite Stock, Aitken & Waterman, but I was a big fan of Neighbours - and Kylie in particular - at this time and I was 16, so what do you want from me?)
(That would have been a more appropriate Number One, but sadly it came out two years earlier and wasn't even released as a single.)
Quite.
The amygdala’s main job would appear to be assessing danger. Everything we see, smell, hear, taste, touch, feel or think passes through the amygdala, and the amygdala screens it all for threats. It’s like a particularly thorough airport security check… or, the way I prefer to think about it, it’s our spider-sense.
I've got nothing to worry about
So I worry about nothing
I think I've got fleas or some tropical disease
And my spider-sense is tingling
I've got nothing to panic about
So I panic about nothing
I won't buy grapes, I check the 'sell by' dates
And I only eat fruit out of tins
Whenever the amygdala senses any kind of threat – from a bus about to run us over in the street to somebody gossiping about us behind our back in the office – it sets off our spider-sense, various hormonal and neurological warning signals that in turn cause us to feel the symptoms of stress. These will vary depending on the individual and the situation, but they include all the old favourites – physical stuff such as increased heart rate, changes to breathing, hot or cold sweat, and mental reactions such as fear, anger and shame. Stress hormones basically prepare us to fight the threat or flee from the danger: fight or flight. But they often override our normal, logical human brain, and let our monkey brain take over. And what do monkeys love? Nuts! That’s why we sometimes do crazy things when we’re stressed, like shouting at people we love, eating a whole chocolate cake in one go, or punching the wall with exasperation.
It's written in the veins
The rules of what we've never seen before
The breathing learned to stop
Our body froze the moment you said run
What we feel is old
Messages from when the world was young
(Kommode are from Norway. You'll be pleased to learn that a Kommode in Norwegian is a chest of drawers, not a water closet.)
When the amygdala goes into overdrive, it can cause all kinds of mental health problems, including chronic anxiety, depression, self-harm, eating disorders, bi-polar disorder, and PTSD. It can affect our appetite, our sleep, our self-image, our enjoyment of life… pretty much everything. All that from two little almonds in our brain. Nuts.
I have got anxiety
It has got the best of me
Satisfaction guaranteed
Anxiety
So... what do we do about it? Well, I certainly don’t claim to have a magic wand. (Not yet, anyway.) But the first step in dealing with any problem is understanding the problem. Understanding why we feel the way we do in any given situation, and what’s going on in our brains and our bodies that creates those feelings. Recognising that negative thoughts are just thoughts, and that negative feelings are just chemical and neurological responses.
I'd like to help you, doctor
Yes I really, really would
But the din in my head
It's too much and it's no good
I'm standing in a windy tunnel
Shouting through the roar
And I'd like to give the information
You're asking for
But blood makes noise
It's a ringing in my ear
Blood makes noise
And I can't really hear you in the thickening of fear
And if that doesn’t calm you down, try thinking about the monkey throwing nuts around as soon as it senses danger. Saying, “shut up, monkey!” whenever your head fills up with negative thoughts might seem like an overly simplistic way of dealing with the situation, but it’s a clear reminder of what’s going on in your brain, and that’s a good start.
Sometimes you lie awake at night
Giving yourself a hard time
Sometimes you just can't make it right
There's nothing so cruel as your own mind
So be kind, be kind, be kind
Go easy on yourself
Be kinder than the ones who run you down