I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum (March Madness, Day 25)

25 Which game has the sleekest, most modern engine?

Let's take a closer look at All Outta Bubblegum, since I haven't looked at it in a few years, and it's only one page long.

Each PC starts with eight sticks of bubblegum. All rolls are made with a d10. For non-ass-kicking activities, roll your bubblegum or lower. For ass-kicking activities, roll over your bubblegum. You may sacrifice a stick of bubblegum to automatically pass a non-ass-kicking activity. If you take damage, you lose a stick of bubblegum. When you're all out of bubblegum, you're unstoppable in combat, but completely useless for anything else. In this situation, if someone else succeeds on ass-kicking against you, they roll a d10, if it's a 10 you're knocked out. Non-combat situations may also confound you and lead to defeat.

That's fairly elegant, is it not?

The one time we played it, as I mentioned in a previous post, we had to come up with a suitable action genre to play in.  Zombies being popular these days, that was one of the first things we hit on.  Then, someone of course made the connection to the game's title to John Carpenter's "They Live" and suggested we play in that milieu.  Rowdy Roddy Piper starred in the movie, so someone suggested all our characters should be WWF wrestlers from the 80's.  Then we came full circle, with someone suggesting WWF wrestlers vs. zombies.   

Now, surely you could have a genre, milieu and adventures planned before hand with this game, but it is a true beer-and-pretzels sort of game, really.  There's no advancement mechanic, no "goal of play" other than to kick ass, and no rules for creating opponents/challenges.  Pretty much everything fits under the "not ass-kicking" category, or the "ass-kicking" category, determining your chance of success.  A clever GM could give opponents their own bubblegum, but there's not much point.  Pretty much everything rests on the players' side for rolling, so it's fairly easy to just wing the whole thing.  

At least, I managed to wing an entertaining, if overly silly, game while drinking beers in a dark bar!

The Wheel of Testosterone

What's this?  An actual content post instead of just play reports and me bemoaning my lack of time to do anything?  Surprise surprise!

I'm working on a fairly big undertaking for what will end up being just one single room/encounter in my megadungeon, but once it's discovered I can guarantee it'll be a popular location to visit: The Wheel of Testosterone.

Spinning this wheel will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus.  Just like me.

Remember this post on the awesome Planet Algol blog?  I remember when it first went up, thinking I needed to both steal that and make a Samuel L. Jackson version.

Never got around to that, until I was reminded of the post on a G+ thread a week or so ago (or maybe it was two weeks back now?  Time flies).  Now, instead of scrolls scattered here an there (I may still do that, and maybe have a researchable M-U spell linked to it), I'll have a bit old "wheel of fortune" that if spun, produces a random avatar of an action movie hero.  I'm thinking d12 rolled twice, for 144 spots worth of badass.  Of course, that means collecting enough badass characters and then giving them stats!  Crowd-sourcing could be done on this...

At the moment, following Blair's scroll, I've been making lists of actors and then listing characters they've done that I like.  But some actors end up playing very similar characters over and over again (Jackie Chan, for example), and some are just sorta badass all on their own.  And then there are actors who had one or two badass roles, but that's it (in my opinion, of course). 

So instead of trying to pick the twelve baddest of the bad, or eleven plus one slot for "others" I think I'm going to just write up a big chart with 144 slots, and just fill things in.  That way, I could feel free to include some classic 80's WWF wrestlers like Hulk Hogan (yeah, I guess he did do a few movies/TV shows) and Junk Yard Dog. 

Planning to pull from standard action movies (contemporary), fantasy adventure, pulp, film noir/hardboiled detectives, westerns and war movies.  Chuck Norris, John Wayne, Schwarzenegger, Stalone, Harrison Ford, Val Kilmer, Toshiro Mifune, Jet Li, Will Smith, Mr. T, and plenty more.

If you've got some ideas for who should be on the Wheel, lemme know in the comments!  If you want to go ahead and do a write-up like Blair's for his scroll of summon aspect of Kurt Russel (all yoinked, by the way, thanks Blair!), that would help me out a ton! 

And of course, should there be a Pool of Estrogen which randomly summons Ellen Ripley, Chun Li, various Charlie's Angels, etc. in the same way?

Johnny Cash Alignment Poster

CORRECTED VERSION!!!

Fixed the Lawful Evil quote, and remembered to add a little digital signature for when this gets out into the wider web.  :D

Enjoy, everyone!

WWJCD? (Not what you think)

Everything I need to know about 9-point Alignment systems I learned from Johnny Cash.

What do you mean, I lose my Paladin abilities?

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

Lawful Good

_____________________________________

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.

Neutral Good

_____________________________________________

And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I know I wouldn't be there to help you along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."

Chaotic Good

_________________________________________________

A crazy screaming lynch mob waited in the streets of Austin
But he put me in the jail house and he threw the key away

Lawful Neutral

_________________________________________________

Well, I ain't never done nothin' to nobody
I ain't never got nothin' from nobody, no time
And until I get something from somebody, sometime
I don't intend to do nothin' for nobody, no time

Neutral

_________________________________________________

I met her accidentally in St. Paul, Minnesota
And it tore me up every time I heard her drawl, Southern drawl
Then I heard my dream was back downstream Cavortin' in Davenport
And I followed you, Big River, when you called

Chaotic Neutral

____________________________________________________

Now, I never considered myself a thief
GM wouldn't miss just one little piece
Especially if I strung it out over several years.

Lawful Evil

____________________________________________________

First time I shot her I shot her in the side
Hard to watch her suffer
But with the second shot she died
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

Neutral Evil

___________________________________________________

Well I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Chaotic Evil

___________________________________________________

Alright, I'm thinking about photoshopping up one of those 'motivational poster' deals with pics of the Man in Black and the quotes above.  But if anyone's got any better lyrics from Mr. Cash to highlight an alignment, I'm open to suggestions.

It's nice to get things in the mail

...even if I ordered them myself.

Two weeks ago, after our HeroClix game, I placed an order for more figures with miniaturemarket.com.  They arrived yesterday.

So now I've got Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Mr. Fantastic, Magneto, and Dr. Doom to add to my collection.

Only problem was that Magneto's head had fallen off in transit. 

I tried to stick it on with some superglue yesterday, but the glue wasn't sticking for some reason (bottle's almost empty, could be the chemicals are too old or something...). 

Anyway, I didn't have time to really do anything else yesterday, so this morning I used a silicone glue stick to hold the head in place, then put superglue around the silicone 'neck' to hopefully seal it. 

I may just have to resign myself to using a zombie Magneto in my future games, but we'll see.  :D

Also, I'm going to need to up the point value of the teams to get the Fantastic 4 on the field.  Mr. Fantastic is expensive!

Heroes and Zeroes

You all know the two schools of thought on RPG characters.

One says random character generation is more realistic. You never know what you're gonna get--Superman, or Pee Wee Herman. Usually something in between. And those random die rolls can get your creative wheels turning, as you ponder just who such a character is, and why they'd be adventuring.

The other says semi-random (skewed high) or non-random character generation is more realistic. People with mental retardation or cerebral palsy don't get to join the Navy SEALs, so why would any sane group of adventurers take them along? It's unheroic to have low stats because people with low stats wouldn't go dungeon delving where it's near certain death for them.

But what if we turn that thinking around? What if, for whatever reason, Society at Large has rejected these poor slobs, and the ONLY way they've got a chance to be more than just a burden on their families and community is to go seek adventure or death? And the fit, strong, intelligent people know they can easily rise to the top without risking getting turned to stone or dissolved in a pit of green slime, so why would they even consider setting foot into a dungeon?

Probably not what most people would want to play long term, but might make for a fun one-shot. Gamma World is good at producing some random hopeless characters. Go into it with the right attitude (like competing to see who has the most interesting character death, or to see who can actually overcome their limitations and actually thrive), and that could be a real fun game.

Movie Review: The Expendables

The wife and I just got back from watching The Expendables.

I wasn't expecting it to be great cinema, just a fun and violent action flick like in the good old days. Of course, the advertising was trying to make it look like an action movie version of the Ocean's Eleven+ movies, with just as many action stars as they could cram into it.

Schwarzeneger's part was just a little cameo. I expected that, since as a governor he really doesn't have the time to be doing any movies even if he wanted to. His cameo was well done, though, and fairly funny. A bit disappointing was that Bruce Willis's part was also a cameo, and was actually the same scene as Arnold.

Well, the plot was fairly cut and dry. No real twists. The story arc for Stalone's character was just barely enough to keep him from being flat, but he didn't really seem fully fleshed out. Similar to Jason Statham's and Jet Li's characters. The bad guy banana republic general was actually the most fully fleshed out and complex character in the movie, and even he wasn't drawn that complexly. Coming in second was Mickey Rourke's retired merc/contact. But then this is an action movie in the style of the good old days of the 80's, so if you were expecting complex character drama, you're in the wrong place.

The action, which is pretty much the whole draw of the movie, was pretty well done. Lots of cool fight scenes, shoot outs, a couple car chases, some aerial strafing, explosions galore, Central American goon soldiers who can't hit the broad side of a barn, duplicitous CIA agents, and of course a hot chick in distress. Everything you'd expect from an 80's action flick.

(Spoiler alert--scroll down to the second paragraph after the white space if you don't want this spoiled)







I'd say the only thing I found disappointing was the fact that none of the 'Expendables' bought it. In my favorite action movies, like Aliens or the original Predator, lots of 'good guys' die. It really raises the stakes, and I like it. There were a couple members of the team, Caesar and Road Block, who could have died without ruining the ending. Dolph Lundgren's character could have bitten it as well. Oh well, movies can't all be perfect.









OK, end of the spoilers.

In the end, I liked it for what it was--a bit of retro popcorn fun. It's the kind of movie that's likely to get played a lot on cable TV in the future. Just good enough to watch and enjoy now and then, but not destined to be many people's favorite action movie, I'd guess.

See this movie if: Like me, you loved watching those old 80's Schwarzeneger/Stalone/Norris action movies when you were young.

Skip it if: You've gotten past the need for adrenaline/testosterone rush violent action movies with little plot or character.

Expendables Trailer

Yeah, I'm gonna go see this. Was likely going to anyway, as I'm a sucker for the big budget action shoot-'em-ups, but this trailer seals the deal.



[For those of you wishing to watch without Blogger cutting off half the screen, see it on YouTube here]

I ain't got time to bleed

Jesse pretty much sums up my feeling lately, which is why I ain't got time to blog.

Last week I was finishing the edit of my screenplay so my writing partner could have his go at it.

This week I've been busy working on the Dragon Fist simulacrum.

The board game group has been in even more of a slump than before.

So not much to write about, and no time to do so if I had anything to say.

Oriental Accents -- Outlaws of the Marsh

Outlaws of the Marsh (also known as The Water Margin and All Men Are Brothers) is, in my opinion, one of the best books I've read for inspiration about what it means for a society to have large numbers of adventurers running around. The 108 Heroes of the story (yes, there are that many, and they've all got distinct personalities even if most of them are minor characters) are all martial artists, criminals, sorcerers and failed monks that end up outlawed for one reason or another. They band together in a fortress on a hill in a marshy area and try to serve the interests of the common people in an age when the government is oppressive. In this sense, it's sort of the Chinese version of the Robin Hood legend in the west.

The frame story tells how there were 36 heavenly spirits and 72 earthly spirits that were reincarnated with destinies tied together in the coming life. What we get first are several vignettes about the main characters. How did they get trained, how did they get outlawed, how did they escape punishment. Then the characters start banding together. Sometimes they fight each other when they meet, but their destiny results in them respecting and befriending each other eventually.

Of course, they are bandits, raiding the government offices or store houses. So the government cracks down on them repeatedly. But the outlaws are always able to repulse the military because of the incompetence of the officers or through the fact that the outlaws are better fighters.

Eventually, though, the government manages to capture them. Rather than execute the heroes, they instead volunteer to take their army north to battle the Mongols who have taken over large areas of northern China. They are generally unsuccessful, and the heroes all die.

The best thing about this book from a gamer's perspective are the 108 heroes. There are former public officials, soldiers, monks, aristocrats, peasants, sorcerers, thieves, and scholars. They all have awesome nicknames like The Tattooed Monk, Nine Dragons, Ten Feet of Steel, Flea on a Drum. And each has their own signature weapons or fighting styles. It's great fodder for anyone wanting to make a cool wuxia hero.

Even if you're not playing an Asian inspired game, as I mentioned above, this novel shows in a realistic manner (despite the low fantasy elements) what happens when you have 'adventurers' causing havoc in society. It's good inspiration for the Game Masters in this regard. How do the authorities and the common folk react to these warriors, thieves and magicians getting rich and powerful? You've got lots of good examples right here.

The early portions are picaresque, with the various heroes committing crimes or getting unfairly outlawed by corrupt officials, then wandering China getting into trouble or righting wrongs as their personalities dictate. Once they've all banded together, there's more of a epic-tragic feel to the work as the destiny of the heroes to die and be reunited in the heavenly realm comes to pass. It's another good (and again long) read that I think most gamers will find inspirational.

And while it is not quite as pervasive in Asian culture as Journey to the West and Three Kingdoms, it has still inspired its share of movies, TV shows, comics, and video games.

Author's Note: I still have yet to read A Dream of the Red Chamber so this ends my section of Oriental Accents on ¾ of the Great Classical Chinese Novels. I'll be moving on to other areas next time.

Some d20 Modern Antiheroes

Tim Shorts suggested I didn't have enough antiheroes in this post. Okay, here are some antiheroes as I'd stat them in d20 Modern.


Strong Antihero*



Fast Antihero

It's all in the reflexes.


Tough Antihero



Smart Antihero



Dedicated Antihero



Charismatic Antihero

Just kidding!


Charismatic Antihero




*Picked O-Ren Ishii over the Bride because Lucy Liu is IMO hotter than Uma Thurman.

Why I like d20 Modern

Of the d20 games I've played, I found the system, with all its fiddliness and customization and unified mechanic, worked best in d20 Modern (and d20 Future). I've got a few ideas on why it actually works.

A) It's designed to work without magic, and it does.
B) Having all sorts of skills and abilities mapped out seems to work well for emulating modern to future settings better than a strict class system.
C) The base classes, modeled to fit each ability score, are iconic enough to be classes, but are used more like ability templates. It's really easy to create the sort of character you like.

Strong Hero


Fast Hero


Tough Hero


Smart Hero


Dedicated Hero


Charismatic Hero