Not with My Wife, You Don't!

I've watched this film a few times over the past few years because the it does my head in. In the Tony Curtis autobiography he said he wanted to play the George C Scott role. He should have. Other reviews make a comparison to Hope and Crosby films and rightfully so, this is more Bob and Bing than Tony and George.

So here's the problem. George and Tony are both in the military and George is Tony's superior. Both are in love with Virna. Virna marries Tony. That makes sense.

However Tony is sent away and George uses this time to romance Virna and she is okay with this and Tony is the "sort of" jealous husband. It may happen in real life but in a Hollywood film, it's the craggy faced George who should be married to Virna worried about what the handsome and charming Tony is up to, that may make for fun comedy, maybe.

In a Bing and Bob movie it's obvious, Bob marries Verna and is worried what the sneaky Bing would be getting up to.

Here's a thought Robert Downey Jnr remakes this movie (plot) with say Russell Crowe for example. However Downey plays the charmer. It could work, however it may not be worth the effort.

In film history there are many comedy teams. Some good, others better and some are Classic Teams of the highest caliber. Examples like Laural and hardy, Lou And Abbot and of course, Martin and Lewis rank among the greatest. In this film called " Not with My Wife, you don't " are teamed Curtis and Scott (Tony Curtis and George C. Scott). Despite their great talent in dramas and Plays, their gifted combination as a comedy team falls short in this effort. The story is of two Air Force fliers who's constant game of one up-man-ship is forever fueling their amorous conquests. So much so that even as they flow through their military careers, this game continues. While stationed in Asia during the Korean War, they suddenly put all their skills on high as they both fall in love with the same woman. Virna Lisi plays Julietta, a beautiful nurse who becomes their ultimate luscious target. Unfortunately, the game becomes serious as Ferris takes advantage of Scott's absence and marries Julie. Indeed, twenty years elapses and into their lives re-enters Col. 'Tank' Martin. Now the table is set for a rematch as Ferris's wife feels so neglected, she's willing to allow Tank to win her away from a husband who has become a 'Gopher' for the commanding general (Carroll O'Connor) Gen. Maynard C. Parker. The movie is complete with high flying antics, double-crosses and comedic situations which enliven the film. It's good laughter, combined with semi-serious drama. Eddie Ryder plays Sgt. Gilroy a trusted, but otherwise slap-stick side kick to Curtis. The result is a good film, interesting, humorous and in many ways a Classic in its own right. ****

"Not With My Wife, You Don't" is the sort of film that probably played much better back in the day. Today, it just seems tiresome and boorish.

The film finds Tony Curtis in the Air Force. He's apparently very good at protocol and is a bit of a star within the service. But because he's so efficient, he pays very little attention to his lovely wife (Virna Lisi). Then, in a lengthy flashback, you see how he and an Air Force buddy (George C. Scott) fought over her during the Korean War. And, eventually, Curtis' character tricks his friend out of the girl and marries her. Now, his old buddy is returning for a visit and Curtis is worried the guy will make the moves on his wife.

Seeing two rutting pigs chasing after a lady--lying, cheating and being disingenuous jerks all the while--is NOT my idea of a fun film. It's downright tedious. I didn't care about the characters....and I just felt very bored by the whole thing. A huge misfire.

Although Tony Curtis in his memoirs compared Not With My Wife You Don't to a Crosby/Hope Road picture in point of fact this film for me came off more like one of those post sound Flagg and Quirt movies. Certainly the military aspect of this film lent itself better to the Captain Flagg Sergeant Quirt hijinks. And neither Curtis or Scott warbled a note.

When we meet the guys they're in Korea, a pair of Air Force fliers who are rivals for everything including Italian nurse Virna Lisi. Curtis wins her by foul means though when Scott is shot down on a mission. He's all right, but he's shipped to hospital in Manila. Curtis intercepts the telegram saying so and tells Lisi he died. So she marries him, possibly on the rebound.

14 years go by and Curtis is now a Lieutenant-Colonel stationed in Europe and Scott gets stationed there. Of course he has to fake surprise that his old buddy is alive and actually has a higher rank. When Scott learns of the deception the old games resume with a vengeance.

In his memoirs Curtis says that Scott was an actor of great intensity who really could over power other players. He had to really be on his toes to make sure he didn't steal the whole film. I suspect there was a little bit of professional jealousy in his words. Now that Curtis, Scott, and Lisi are all gone they can argue it out in the next world.

Fans of the three stars should like it. But whatever it is Not With My Wife You Don't is far from a male buddy picture.

This sub-comedy of the mid-1960's caught Tony Curtis at the end of his comic-charming roles, George C. Scott on a lark for bucks, and the beautiful Italian actress, Virna Lisi at HIGH BANKABLE POWER in a script that wanted to be Neil Simon..but racy! Ms. Lisi is incredibly sexy and understandable, T. Curtis is all over the pace keeping up, and Mr. Scott has more weird facial expressions that he did in the final scenes of DR. STRANGELOVE, nevertheless it's a fun romp about Air Force drinking buddies and one hot woman and they're working hard. 1966 was on the fringe of American flicks changing, anyway, especially comedies (military-style..give me a break).

An interesting time capsule flick that is very enjoyable if you put yourself in the mindset of dopey, cheating comedies of the middle 60's. Popcorn movie all the way ..with good actors and the luscious Virna List carrying the load!