Not with My Wife, You Don't!

In film history there are many comedy teams. Some good, others better and some are Classic Teams of the highest caliber. Examples like Laural and hardy, Lou And Abbot and of course, Martin and Lewis rank among the greatest. In this film called " Not with My Wife, you don't " are teamed Curtis and Scott (Tony Curtis and George C. Scott). Despite their great talent in dramas and Plays, their gifted combination as a comedy team falls short in this effort. The story is of two Air Force fliers who's constant game of one up-man-ship is forever fueling their amorous conquests. So much so that even as they flow through their military careers, this game continues. While stationed in Asia during the Korean War, they suddenly put all their skills on high as they both fall in love with the same woman. Virna Lisi plays Julietta, a beautiful nurse who becomes their ultimate luscious target. Unfortunately, the game becomes serious as Ferris takes advantage of Scott's absence and marries Julie. Indeed, twenty years elapses and into their lives re-enters Col. 'Tank' Martin. Now the table is set for a rematch as Ferris's wife feels so neglected, she's willing to allow Tank to win her away from a husband who has become a 'Gopher' for the commanding general (Carroll O'Connor) Gen. Maynard C. Parker. The movie is complete with high flying antics, double-crosses and comedic situations which enliven the film. It's good laughter, combined with semi-serious drama. Eddie Ryder plays Sgt. Gilroy a trusted, but otherwise slap-stick side kick to Curtis. The result is a good film, interesting, humorous and in many ways a Classic in its own right. ****

Air Force colonel Tom Ferris (Tony Curtis) is busy climbing the military ladder to the frustration of his wife Julie. Their marriage is in trouble. 14 years earlier during the Korean War, American flyboy buddies Tom Ferris and Tank Martin (George C. Scott) both fall for Italian nurse Julie. The two friends are willing to lie, cheat, and steal to get the girl.

I'm surprised with George C. Scott doing a light screwball comedy. There is a bit joy in the shock. This is perfectly harmless. The love triangle is actually compelling mostly due to the two leads. The girl is easy on the eyes. The quiet fight is probably the most fun. Otherwise, this is a minor comedy with minor laughs.

Korean War buddies Tony Curtis (as Tom) and George C. Scott (as Tank) would rather fight over blonde Italian beauty Virna Lisi (as Julie). She likes to have two of everything, but Ms. Lisi can't juggle two contentious colonels. Lisi marries Mr. Curtis, but since he won her deceptively, she may decide to hook up with Mr. Scott. Naturally, Mr. Curtis thinks, "Not with My Wife, You Don't!"

After Bob Hope's cameo, it occurred to me that if they were 20 years younger, Mr. Hope and Bing Crosby might have starred in this film. Hope would play "Tom" and Mr. Crosby would be perfect as "Tank"; of course, somehow both Hope and Crosby would be sent snow-sledding to Labrador. Now, who would win Virna Lisi is debatable. Well, flash-forward to director Norman Panama's present…

The actors have a few good moments, like Curtis trying show Scott he's temporarily gone blind, in an early hospital scene. And, later in the running time, watch for the very best part of the movie, with Scott and Curtis joining Lisi in a black-and-white Italian movie spoof - if only the entire movie were as good as this scene. Most prophetic line: Curtis, in Arab drag, says "Let's get the Shah on the road."

**** Not with My Wife, You Don't! (11/2/66) Norman Panama ~ Tony Curtis, George C. Scott, Virna Lisi

"Not With My Wife, You Don't" is the sort of film that probably played much better back in the day. Today, it just seems tiresome and boorish.

The film finds Tony Curtis in the Air Force. He's apparently very good at protocol and is a bit of a star within the service. But because he's so efficient, he pays very little attention to his lovely wife (Virna Lisi). Then, in a lengthy flashback, you see how he and an Air Force buddy (George C. Scott) fought over her during the Korean War. And, eventually, Curtis' character tricks his friend out of the girl and marries her. Now, his old buddy is returning for a visit and Curtis is worried the guy will make the moves on his wife.

Seeing two rutting pigs chasing after a lady--lying, cheating and being disingenuous jerks all the while--is NOT my idea of a fun film. It's downright tedious. I didn't care about the characters....and I just felt very bored by the whole thing. A huge misfire.

Virna Lisi plays "Julietta", the femme fatale here, who is chased after by soldiers Tank Martin (George Scott) and Tom Ferris, (Tony Curtis). Scott and Curtis had appeared together in "The List of Adrian Messenger" back in 1963. Carroll O'Connor (Oh Archie!) in supporting role, as the big shot General. The "other" big Hollywood role for which V. Lisi is known is "How to Murder your Wife", a similar farce, with Jack Lemmon, in 1965. Julietta flirts with both men, as they get sent to various places around the world, even after she gets married. You need to have a lot of patience for the many physical and sight gags here, much like a slow moving "Pink Panther" movie. Another little weird connection here - Note actor Robert Cleaves, the reporter Chandler McVey, from Time Magazine -- he will appear with Carroll O'Connor in "Archie Bunker's Place" in the late 1970s; Cleaves has quite the interesting bio on IMDb for those interested. Directed by Norman Panama, who had directed Bob Hope in "Road to Hong Kong", "That Certain Feeling" and "How to Commit Marriage". That may explain why we see footage of Bob Hope in this film.... "Not with my Wife" is okay... nothing earth shattering, just one of the romps from the free-loving 1960s, after being stifled so long under the film production code.