The Embalmer

Embalmer, The (1965)

** (out of 4)

A psychotic killer is on the loose in Venice but the police don't have a clue to who's killing all the beautiful women. This Italian film is also known as The Monster of Venice and is mildly interesting since it tries to mix the Italian giallo with the German krimi but the end results aren't as good as I had hoped. I'd still recommend this to those wanted to see where Dario Argento was influenced. The biggest problem is that the film is simply too slow to be any good and the actual mystery really isn't all that interesting. A few interesting ideas pop up including the killer who uses scuba gear so that he can make his escape and kill his victims at the same time. This is part of a Vintage triple feature that includes The Screaming Skull and I Eat Your Skin, which can be picked up at Best Buy for $7. The print here is in very bad shape but it's letterboxed, which I believe is a first for this film.

Like the sour and salty odour of Parmesan, this film reminds you that not every Italian horror film is as serious as Il Demonio. Instead, the Embalmer embraces you like a melted Tellagio and a warm Cacio (with Pepe, of course). We have a killer who alternates between dressing up as a skull faced monk and dressing up as a scuba diving serial killer! This film takes place in Venice (hence: the killer using scuba gear to snare his victims), and although the kills are spread across the film like Bel Paese over a nice Panini, there are patches of the film where my mind was wandering, which caused a jerk reaction like that of the olfactory sensation of sniffing a particularly ripe Cambazola.

For the most part though the film is like cutting into a Calzone and seeing the contents ooze out. Loads of Mozzarella cheese, basically. From the Italian-Elvis clone bursting from a sarcophagus and singing an Italian-Elvis Clone song to the killer having a severe case of expositionitus, this film is like eating a sandwich which consists of a sharp Provolone with Parma Ham - High notes mixed with dull, Earthy plodding plot.

The milky Fontina element comes from the bad dubbing, the gratuitous touring of Venice (including a glass blowing shop!) and the bad acting. The pecorino like goodness comes from the surprisingly high body count and the fact that the killer is really the guy you though immediately was the killer.

It's kind of sweet (like Marscopone and Ricotta) that the film does try to give you some red herrings, but the film is not the best in terms of what Italian 1965 horror has to offer, kind of like Goronzola, you wouldn't pick it first if someone served you a plate of bad analogies.

This might come as a surprise, but I used to sell Italian cheese. Now I just watch it.

I was really expecting something pretty good from The Embalmer...but unfortunately all I got was a dreary horror flick with a couple of good ideas and a complete lack of suspense. The film was apparently inspired by Edgar Wallace, who was the inspiration for a lot of the German "Krimi" style of film-making. Not being too familiar with Wallace's work, I can't say how true that is - but The Embalmer is certainly not the Giallo I was expecting. The film is set in Venice, and makes best use of the scenery...though it does get a bit boring as the film sets the scene without putting anything relevant to the story with it! The film was possibly an inspiration on the brilliant Dutch "Giallo" Amsterdamned as it focuses on a killer who lives under the Venetian canals. The killer is selecting young women of Venice and dragging them to the depths of the canal, where he has his way with them - by filling them up with embalming fluid to keep them beautiful for all time (etc etc). A journalist picks up the story, and soon ends up falling in love with the killer's next victim.

The main problem with this film is that it's entirely lacklustre! The cinematography, acting, direction, plot line etc all stink of a group of people that couldn't really be bothered to come up with something half decent. The film is not very suspenseful at all, and a lot of is made up of mind numbing diatribe, which means that when we actually get to watch the killer with his victims, most viewers will already be bored out of their brains. The killer himself looks cool - completed clad in black with a skull mask, but that's the only good thing about him. He makes long winded speeches to his dead victims that were obviously intended to be scary, but actually come as being rather silly. It does boil down to a fairly decent finale, which despite not justifying the rest of the film; at least ensures that the movie doesn't just leave a bad taste in the viewer's mouths by the end of the film. Overall, this is a good film to track down because it's extremely rare and seen in some circles as a precursor to the Giallo genre - but trust me, it's not worth the time and effort!

This film could be considered either a early giallo (like "Blood and Black Lace") or an Italian version of a German krimi (like "Dead Eyes of London"). A maniac is stalking the canals of Venice. Dressed as a frogman he is snatching young girls and taking them back to his lair, an underground monastery, where he ,uh, well embalms them as a way of preserving their beauty for all eternity.

This movie obviously makes very little sense--there has got to be an easier way to procure victims than donning a scuba outfit and pulling them out of gondolas, and for some reason the character dresses up in a robe and skeleton mask like the Phantom of the Opera even when he is alone in his hideout. Still as completely improbable as this is, it makes for some great scenes with pretty girls being dragged into canals at night by the sinister frogman (an idea later borrowed for the more violent Dutch thriller "Amsterdamned"), and the exciting finale where the masked killer hides among the skeletal corpses of monks in order to surprise the female protagonist who has wandered into his lair.

The movie is unusually depraved (always a plus) for a film made in 1965 with the whole embalming idea, and it breaks any number of cinematic rules. The cops are completely useless, chalking up the disappearances to accidental drownings, so it's up to an intrepid journalist and two hilarious winos who keep seeing "a big fish with a headlight" swimming under the bridge where they drink to crack the case. The end where the journalist hero rushes to save his girlfriend from the killer has some very unusual and shocking surprises. Of course, this movie doesn't offer the nudity or violence many Italian exploitation connoisseurs might expect (and it's in black and white), but it's still a worthwhile little film.

This film predates Amsterdammned as a film with a scuba suit wearing psycho killer. Problem with scuba suits is that you can't move around well on land in them. That is no problem for this killer since many of his victims seem to literally walk right into his arms.

The series of killings, part of this film is the weak section, but the lair of the killer (which I won't spoil by telling what it is) final reel is worth the wait. Everything improves including the music during the final reel and when it's all over you'll feel better about the whole film than you will during parts in the middle. Most of the best images in the film are from that final 10 minutes but there are definitely some you'll remember.

Comedy intentional and unintentional also helps keep the film going. At least the American print I saw has almost no on screen violence, other than the macabre chase at the end. Dubbing is pretty poor but that goes with the territory.

A restoration of the original Italian version would be a great improvement I'm sure. Fans of films set in Venice will want to give this a look. Too bad the budget couldn't allow for any underwater photography that would have helped the early sections a great deal. All I'll say about the killer's identity is that in some Giallos the revelation is one of those, who was that guy again? In some Giallos that's the way it is.