Bigfoot

When pilot, Joi Landis (Joi Lansing) has engine trouble, she's forced to parachute into the deep woods. Unbeknownst to Joi, she's landed in BIGFOOT country, and is quickly abducted by the creature.

Simultaneously, a bunch of bikers have arrived, looking for a place to party.

Oh dear!

A bikini-clad biker babe is nabbed by the beast, after she and her boyfriend disturb a yeti burial mound! We soon discover that there's a whole tribe of bigfoots -bigfeet?- and they're looking for love! Can the bikers, along with a local junk dealer named Jasper (John Carradine) rescue the women before the hairy horrors do the unthinkable?

THIS MOVIE CONTAINS: #1- Sex-starved sasquatches! #2- A biker called "Dum Dum"! #3- A lackadaisical bigfoot vs. Bear battle! #4- Ms. Lansing running around in her awesome outfit! #5- A forest ranger played by none other than intergalactic omni-star, Doodles Weaver! #6- Awe-inspiring bigfoot costumes (aka: men dressed as goggle-eyed piles of lint)! Toss in some twangy music, complete with bongo drums, and you know you're watching a divine spectacle!

EXTRA POINTS IF: You can count how many times Ms. Lansing screams her beautiful head off!...

If you list John Carradine's films in order of IMDb rating, Bigfoot ranks second to last. This is a guy who starred in films titled Hillbillys in a Haunted House, Billy the Kid vs. Dracula, Vampire Hookers, Satan's Cheerleaders and Sex Kittens Go to College, among many, many others. A gaggle of sasquatches are out looking for women to mate with in this extremely low budget flick that looks like it was filmed on spare sets from Hee Haw. John Carradine is the biggest star, but you also have big breasted Joi Lansing and two kids of famous Hollywood actors, Chris Mitchum and Lindsay Crosby. Robert Mitchum's brother, John, is also in it. Oh, and Jerry Marren, aka the green-shirted Munchkin from the Lollipop Guild (as well as, I believe, the only Munchkin who survives to this day) dons the costume of the child bigfoot. Anyway, a biker chick and a downed female pilot get captured by bigfeet, and Carradine and his bud John Mitchum join the gang, hoping to make money by capturing a live bigfoot. This is really cruddy, and pretty boring. It's rated at a dismal 1.4 on IMDb. I laughed at it enough, and it's short enough, where I'll rate it a tad higher. After all, the awesome poster of this film has decorated my wall for a few years ago (with the tagline "breeds with anything..."). This was the first time I ever watched an entire film on Youtube. That's certainly not preferable (a drive-in would be ideal), but it was the only way to see it.

My dad had a pair of Cinemacanica 35mm projectors and he bought this film. If he paid more than a nickel for it he was over charged. Then again, this movie was so bad that he decreed that if my brothers or myself acted out of line, then the perpetrator would be sentenced to watch this film.

Needless to say I watched this film many times and my father wore out the print. Maybe he did get his money's worth out of it. Heck! I bet my dad would gladly have paid a thousand dollars for this as much as he made me watch it.

By the way, this movie caused terrible trauma for me. I've never been able to watch another movie with Christopher Mitchum. He has to be the worst actor of all time.

Bigfoot (1970)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Various women are being kidnapped and it turns out Bigfoot and his clan are behind it. Apparently their race is dying off so they're needing women to have more creatures with. Jasper B. Hawks (John Carradine) gets the idea of capturing one for the money while a biker gang goes after the creature to get their women back.

Bigfoot was always my favorite mythical monster when I was a kid and I was always disappointed because there really aren't too many good movies about him. I continue to watch movies on Bigfoot yet they continue to get worse and worse. This film doesn't have the greatest reputation around but it's certainly a real hoot and a rather fun film as long as you don't take it too serious.

I mean, just take a look at the sequence where the three hot ladies are tied up talking about why they have been captured. This here alone shows that the film wasn't supposed to be taken serious and then you throw in a biker gang and you've got pure drive-in madness. There are some really nutty scenes throughout this movie but the greatest thing about it is the fact that they don't keep the monsters off screen. Nope, the monsters are constantly on the screen and there are multiple ones as well as children!

The cast is also a lot of fun as we get Joi Lansing as one of the victims, Chris and John Mitchum and even Ken Maynard has a small role. Then there's Carradine who eats up the picture just like it was a big bowl of spaghetti. He's really a lot of fun here as he adds in the camp as this redneck looking to make a quick buck. His final line delivery, ripping off the KING KONG ending, is pure joy.

As I said, BIGFOOT isn't a masterpiece and it's not even a really good movie but if you enjoy these low-budget monster movies then there's plenty here to enjoy.

BIGFOOT (1970) * (D: Robert F. Slatzer) Thank God for John Carradine, as he at least provides laughs as a southern hunter... but the rest of the movie is without value other than what he does/says next. Long, dead scenes pad out the 80+ minute running time.