Star Spangled Girl

I watched the first 20-25 minutes and had to shut it off. Sandy Duncan is too cute as Amy, but Todd Susman's character, Norman, is the prototype for the desperate virgin later seen in "Porky's" and satirized in "Not Another Teen Movie". He has as much depth and subtlety as a Tex Avery cartoon. Tony Roberts is merely a younger version of Oscar Madison with the same quips and delivery. In truth, he and Susman are toned down versions of Martin and Lewis, with Roberts as the smooth sexpot and Susman as the insufferable loony. If there was a spark of originality in this film, it went out around 1979.

A woman trying out for the Olympics moves into a suburban home next to a couple of extremists lefty nuts who publish a little underground newspaper (back in the day when both parties distrusted government overreach and the media, before one seized a stranglehold on both). One of them (Todd Susman, Officer Shiflett from "Newhart") falls hard for the girl and makes a nuisance of himself. So?

Neil Simon wrote some great plays. He also wrote lots of twaddle (try "The Cheap Detective" or "Murder By Death," which has a great cast with nothing to say).

The Olympian (perky Sandy Duncan) is "conservative." I despise terms like "left" and "right" and "liberal" and "conservative" (or even "radical" since Republicans and their ilk were called "radical" under Presidents Lincoln and Trump). All these terms are historically meaningless. The USSR types who kidnapped Gorbachev were called "conservative" even though "liberals" here want exactly what they wanted: viz., a Communist autocracy.

But they're the terms we have to use because we're too ignorant to have jargon with greater precision in our combative political vocabulary.

As a writer myself (though not of plays) I can only smile at the likes of Simon, who probably never rubbed shoulders with a "conservative" but out of the depths of his ignorance sets up easy targets he smugly knocks down with softballs.

Curiously enough, though, the "conservative" America-loving Duncan is the only sympathetic character in the movie, terrorized as she is by Susman.

Frankly, the publishers of the underground paper aren't too radical. They're just a couple of nice boys too full of themselves. Tony Roberts' "radicalism" is no deeper than apparently wanting to tear things down simply because they're there. Susman doesn't seem to have the gumption or wherewithal to operate without Roberts' tyranny over him. Yet Susman is the only one who earns any genuine smiles.

Frankly, when I go to the movies I don't want political debate, even with soft targets and idiots on both sides. Simon's constant stream of dialogue gets tiresome quickly. Hardly a great movie; but if you love Simon and have to see everything he wrote, go for it.

Neil Simon's Broadway dud, which featured Connie Stevens, Anthony Perkins and Richard Benjamin, has been recast but not rethought for this unbearable screen-translation. The grating text has been preserved as if each verbal volley was actually worth keeping. If this picture were to succeed at all, screenwriters Arnold Margolin and Jim Parker should have thrown out most of the source material and started from scratch. Twangy-voiced swimmer Sandy Duncan, an Olympic hopeful arriving in Los Angeles to teach and to train, gets mixed up with her nutty bungalow neighbors, a writer and an editor for a protest newspaper (the Nitty Gritty...its motto is "A Remedy for a Sick Society"). Duncan ends up working for the fellas, but she can't cook, can't type, and can't take shorthand. She pretends not to know how to dust. The guys (Tony Roberts and manic Todd Susman) pretend to find her adorable. Actually, Duncan has an appealing personality, but the silly voice she uses here (coupled with the dim lines) just about ruins her chances of charming the audience. The picture is over-lit, over-directed, over-acted, and completely underwhelming. * from ****

When I first saw this movie in the theatre, I was alone and feeling down. I walked out feeling much better. Along with a down home America girl played wonderfuly by Sandy Duncan is a Hippie played by tony Roberts. You can see they would not agree on anything. They seem to hate each other and show it with the sharp and witty dialog that goes on during their arguements. In the end they fall in love of course, but getting to that point is fun and witty. The other charachtors in the money are wonderful also. Todd Susman plays Roberts roomate who also creates sharp and funny dialog with Roberts. Some people may find this movie corny, but I loved it. Give it a chamce. They almost never show it on T.V. so you may have to hunt for it.

I watched this movie on DVD after seeing a Living In TV Land on tape that featured Davy Jones knowing that his song,"Girl", would be in this movie after reading the other comments on this film. (Personal note: I saw Jones on stage at the Florida Theatre in Jacksonville, FL , where he performed this song in The Real Live Brady Bunch which enacted the episode that had Marcia trying to get him to her prom.) Based on a Neil Simon play adapted by Arnold Margolin and Jim Parker, Star Spangled Girl comes through fast and furious with the wisecracks that makes us forgive the initial annoyingness of the lead characters played by Sandy Duncan, Tony Roberts, and especially Todd Susman in a role completely different from Officer Shifflet on Newhart. Jerry Paris' direction times everything with a sledgehammer that hits more than misses occasionally slowing down so we can take a breath. If you're a fan of all of the above players as well as composer Charles Fox, what are you waiting for? By all means, seek this one out! By the way, Susman would later be the voice of the Greyhound dog on TV and radio. In case anyone didn't notice, Duncan rides Greyhound buses in the movie.