The Invisible Dead

OK, so the plot is risible, the acting woeful, and the production values worthy of Ed Wood. However this early Eurocine outing is a great "B" movie- at least for those who understand cinematic irony.

Crumbling castles, dandyesque clothing and buxom wenches all give it the authentic sexploitation feel. The camera angles add that dangerous and unpredictable quality that only lovers of bad movies can really appreciate.

More than that, the film is best known for the most famous bush in cinematic history, that of Brigitte Carva. Oh for the days when women were not just plastic-packed crotch-shaven dollies! The women in this film are real, and the creaking plot makes their naked exploits all the more impressive. For collectors of the genre (or admirers of the hirsute), this B-flick is a must. The plot is only marginally of relevance.

ORLOFF AND THE INVISIBLE MAN (1971) *** Howard Vernon, Brigitte Carva, Fernando Sancho, Paco Valladares, Isabel del Río, Evane Hanska. In this 1971 French-Spanish co-production, the irrepressible Howard Vernon returns for his second turn as Dr. Orloff. This time, he's created an invisible man who feeds on human blood. It's fairly typical Eurosleaze fare: there's the usual muddled plot, cheap special effects (wait until you see the invisible `man'!) and a fair amount of gratuitous nudity (the rape of the servant girl by the invisible man, with shots of Vernon leering through the whole thing, is especially tasteless). But a good score, nice atmosphere and fairly brisk direction by Pierre Chevalier manage to keep things interesting.

Possibly the biggest challenge in watching this Spanish/French horror extravaganza is the dubbing. As is sometimes the case, less than a scrupulous translation of the dialogue can produce unintentionally hilarious results. Some would say that adds to the charm. Perhaps they are right.

You may be led to believe this is a Jess Franco production. I was. It is in fact directed by Pierre Chevalier who delivers a comparatively accessible yarn filled with genre cliches used to fairly good effect. Once again playing Orloff is the mighty Howard Verson (who had played the character for Franco before, and would do so again in the future), the hero-type is Dr. Garondet (Frances Valladares), and the vampy young lady of the piece is Cécile (Brigitte Carva). If you're ready, there's also an invisible ape who gets up to all sorts of nasty business - again, some of his vile antics do unintentionally (I presume) raise a smile.

The story seems to have bits and pieces from most of the horror classics thrown in. You might recognise elements from Dracula, and Frankenstein, and there are dark tunnels and a hero who delights in wearing a red-lined cloak. It's all here and is delightfully unconventional in places and darn right ridiculous in others.

Orloff and the Invisible Man (1970)

** (out of 4)

Answering the call of a medical emergency, a young doctor avoids all warnings and goes to the home of Dr. Orloff (Howard Vernon) where he is told about a medical breakthrough where Orloff has created an invisible man. Vernon would play the Dr. Orloff character several times in his career so it's obvious a role he has no trouble in doing. ORLOFF AND THE INVISIBLE MAN (one of its many titles) is a decent time killer if you don't expect anything too good or too serious. The entire film suffers from a very low-budget and it appears that director Pierre Chevalier doesn't have much faith in anything that he's doing. Most of the scenes seem extremely rushed or at least made quickly without too much effort put into them. There really isn't any story of vision on display here as it almost seems as if Chevalier was just a director-for-hire who got the film in the can as quickly as he could. It's certainly not on the same page as THE AWFUL DR. ORLOFF or DR. ORLOFF'S MONSTER but there are a few interesting ideas here. It's funny how the entire doctor coming to the castle is handled because it's clearly ripping off the start of Dracula. The entire relationship between this young doctor and Orloff is a tad bit weird to say the least and the story never really bothered to explain why we need this younger doctor around. At just 75-minutes the film certainly goes by pretty quickly, although, to be honest, not much really happens in regards to the invisible man. The strangest sequence comes towards the end when a woman is stripped totally naked and sexually assaulted by the invisible man. Obviously the special effects aren't that good and the actresses acting isn't all that good either so we're left with an extremely weird sequence that belongs in the Euro Horror Hall of Fame. Vernon is good in his role and the supporting players aren't too bad either. There's plenty of nudity to keep fans of that entertained and there's some mild humor as well.

Anyone encountering this film on VHS in the UK as the Invisible Dead, tag line; " god help us if they rise again" will find themselves utterly baffled or just ripped off by the content of the actual film. Not only have they been lead to believe that it's a zombie flick by the sleeve art but the film itself has been sliced and diced, presumably by the distributors following the 1982 video act,so that sleazy content of any kind is absent, and what we are left with is essentially 80 odd minutes of people wandering through corridors very....slowly.....indeed. As others have doubtless pointed out, none of the dialogue bears much relation to the action on screen, some of the soundtrack has been left blatantly undubbed, and that goddamn music clangs away throughout for all the world like a troop of drunken boy scouts assaulting each other with biscuit tins. Listing the inconsistencies and "what the heck?.." moments would take too damn long, but suffice to say that it's one of those eurosleaze offerings that manage to conjure up a surreal, dream-like atmosphere chiefly through being incoherent and flat out badly made.And judging by the speed of the opening doors and "magically" appearing footprints, the invisible ape-man doesn't really pose much of a threat to anyone who can move faster than a relaxed stroll.It's crap. I quite enjoyed it