Inseminoid

The script is the main culprit, with terrible lines and cliché scenes written for 4 year old to ponder upon: The number of times the cast members are sent out into the corridor (ones & twos) to be done-in by a rabid Ms Gleeson beggars belief! And each time they fall over\ stand still so as to allow themselves to be dispatched in some very poorly choreographed fight scene- did I say fight scene? I meant rolling around on the ground. I can only guess that they ran out of plot devices on day 1.

The Director should also stand up and take a bow, as a lot of the fault lies there. The subject matter may have been "maverick" but it was executed in a terrible way- B movie slasher style. He should have realised that this plot line was about as believable as politician election promise.

My sympathy goes to the cast, who were made to say the lines and roll around on the ground. They put in bad performances all round, with only Ms Gleeson showing an occasional dabble of acting skill.

If MST3K ever wanted to do a schlock SF horror, this would be the one to go for.

Male and female scientists set up a research lab on a distant planet and encounter a giant, bug-eyed alien monster. It kills several people, rapes Judy Geeson and disappears, but the horrors are just beginning. Geeson becomes a hard-to-kill, hysterical madwoman with super strength who kills for blood to feed the alien's mutant offspring, which she's now carrying.

This Brit ALIEN clone is often inept and entirely contrived, but not completely without entertainment value. FX are mediocre, but it's bloody, fast-paced and there's a great electric score from John Scott. Judy Geeson is excellent in a role that requires a hell of a lot of merciless ranting and screaming.

HORROR PLANET refers to the original U.S. release of the film, which was cut. The title INSEMINOID refers to the uncut, letterboxed DVD and cable version.

Score: 3 out of 10

Shot on a rather low budget, Inseminoid aka Horror Planet is still more entertaining than many sci-fi shows and movies mass produced these days - this little production rides a little on the wave of Alien and mixes elements of horror and sci-fi adventure. For sure this is not a masterpiece, but if you are in the mood for some cheesy 80s B-movie of the sub genre of horror sci-fi, this one will provide some entertaining (and silly fun) moments indeed. This one is recommended if you dig B-movies like Lifeforce, Galaxy of Terror, Forbidden World, Planet of the Vampires, Species and Virus also comes to mind.

Some of these actors are mildly famous. Steve Martin's first wife IRL, Victoria Tennant, was in LA Story and All of Me among other things. David Baxt was in Batman(89), Superman(78), AND THE SHINING. Judy Geeson was in every sit-com, sci-fi, and comedy since 1962 (space 1999) But none of this will prepare you for the nonsense and dreamlike sequences that make up this film. There is constant running and screaming and more screaming and running. There's a hedge trimmer space weapon, there's alien babies, there's gore for no reason, there's space (sometimes) outside and sometimes not. Every sound in this film was recorded sometime later. There's cheesy horrible electronic music. Whenever there's gore it's not scary, it's dumb. It's gets so ridiculous, you'll be amazed that you're still watching, even if just to see where these damn alien babies are in this film. I made it to the end but I'm not ever watching it again.

Like a previous contributor, I saw Inseminoid on BBC 1 last Saturday too - but to my eternal shame, I must admit that I actually went out of my way to see it!

Y'see, when I was a spotty teenager way back in the early 80s, I was always intrigued by this movie's premise - aliens! horror! sex! YES!! YES!! YES!! - but was too young to rent it from my local video shop. So when I saw that it was on telly I was ecstatic - twenty years of waiting, over at last!

Well, you know what they say about being careful what you wish for... As everyone's already pointed out, it's sh*te of the highest ordure - 'nuff said.

In answer to the fellow country-man who also endured it on Saturday: as a first (and last) time viewer, obviously I've no idea if it got cut. I imagine the scene that the Beeb would (naturally) be most sensitive about is the 'xeno-rape' scene.

What was shown was a slightly confusing collage of bug-eyed alien leering down at parted thighs (as if seen from the viewpoint of the inseminee), intercut with shots of a crooked leg, behind which you could see a clear plastic tube - the alien's penis? - filled with what looked like meatballs floating in green pea soup. Presumably the tube was being used to penetrate and impregnate the alien's prey.

Does that sound much like the uncut version you saw way back when? As I say, it was pretty confusing and felt like it might have been cut, but given the generally shoddy state of the direction and editing it's hard to tell what's the director's original 'vision' and what's been snipped by the censor's scissors.

Pip-pip, The Hutt